Do you and your friends visit each other's home for a coffee?

[dotpoom]

When I first came here a few years ago and started to make friends I noticed that when I'd get a call to meet up for a chat, it was always suggested we meet in some restaurant, or it could be a bar for people who like a drink, and never an invitation to drop round to where the person lives, or they drop round to where i was living. When I lived at home we enjoyed visiting each other's homes for a "natter" and a "cuppa" and I was wondering have other people experienced this or was it just a cultural thing unique to my country or is it simply not the done thing in many countries around the world, although I doubt that, I suspect people are mostly the same all over in that area. So I tried to figure why it is like this in Thailand and here are a few of the things I came up with...... No.1---Those of us living here come from many varied backgrounds so the bonds may not be as they were with friends at home....No.2....People are not as familiar with locations so more convenient to meet somewhere we both know, but that is no excuse really.....No.3.....A lot of friends live in rented rooms so it's not the same as a home, but that doesn't work either, many of us lived in rented rooms at home and it didn't make any difference.....No.3...People who pack up and head off to far shores are "free spirits" or people who are very comfortable in their own skin and with their own company and not so much into the "visiting each other for a cuppa' experience.

Be interested on your views on this and if similar why you think it is so.

[dotpoom]

Slow down lads ...one at a time please....or maybe your all celebrating the Christmas?

[robblok]

Of course friends drop down at my home from time to time. This is actually not a Thai thing. Anyway sometimes its easier to meet in the middle instead of going all the way to one house.

[thailiketoo]

My dog was never socialized and as a result acts like she will eat people who walk close to my gated home. If anyone wants to come over they have to call first so I can lock up the dog. I think this cuts down on visitors. My dog is an American Dingo/ Carolina dog.

[Neeranam]

I don't like coffee as it's a psychotropic drug but often I'll have a friend round for a cuppa.

[farang000999]

I don't like people coming to my home not even family.

[kikoman]

We always get together at a house on the block, talk ,have a drink, just sharing time with each other, Today our daughter came home and brought a couple of her friends to spend the night, my neighbors drop by all the time, We enjoy having our family and friends come visit!

Cheers

[MILT]

I don't like people coming to my home not even family.

I recently started a People who Hate peoples club but having a hard time getting meetings started up.

You would be a great member. Interested?

[belg]

many cases, it is the wife of the farang that does not want YOU to come into HER house, even HE paid for it

[blackman]

no friends...

[weegee]

My dog was never socialized and as a result acts like she will eat people who walk close to my gated home. If anyone wants to come over they have to call first so I can lock up the dog. I think this cuts down on visitors. My dog is an American Dingo/ Carolina dog.

Same same here....but a few are dropping in for xmas.

[Just1Voice]

Had a mild stroke about 2 months ago. Recovering, but it's a slow process. My best friend here comes by 2-3 times a week for coffee and B.S. sessions. Him and his wife come about every other week for dinner with me and mine. He's waiting for me be able to ride my bike again so we can resume our breakfast/lunch/sightseeing trips into and out of town. He has a cruiser, I have sports bike. I usually have to stop and wait for him to catch up.

Have another American "associate" two houses down. Don't care if he comes or not. lol

Edited for spelling correction

Edited December 22, 2013 by Just1Voice

[Tchooptip]

I don't like people coming to my home not even family.

So I guess you have no Thai family

[CharlieH]

Used to have another ferang across the village I visited, we would drop by each others house maybe once a week, for a cuppa and a chat, put the world to right etc, sadly he passed away.

[Suradit69]

many cases, it is the wife of the farang that does not want YOU to come into HER house, even HE paid for it

More than likely that's the excuse some people give YOU for not wanting a real charmer like YOU to come 'round. Probably sounds better to tell YOU that than the real reason.

On the other hand if there actually are legions of wives of farangs not wanting YOU over for a visit, YOU might want to give some thought as to why.

[Bluetongue]

Not many farang in my neck of the woods, occasionally some female formerly from the village will bring her visiting husband or boyfriend around, presumably as a means of alleviating his boredom or discomfort at her place with her non-English speaking family. Friends of mine invited from afar come around but that's not what you are talking about. One of two local farang have just dropped in over the years, one rode his pushbike and only wanted water and the other has beers with him. I can go weeks without seeing another farang.

But you're right the Thais do not really drop in, in the same way but they do drop in in a different way. I always stop to chat with neighbours (who are nearly always outside as that is where a lot of time is spent) on the way out or home and am always invited to gin khao or lao or whatever but it is more in a polite way rather than you are actually expected to stop

[Ulysses G.]

No. Most people that I know who live in the city live in single rooms and the ones who live in houses outside of the city are too far away to visit conveniently. We usually meet in some restaurant or sleazy bar downtown.

Edited December 22, 2013 by Ulysses G.

[Pii Kate]

I've been in Chiang Mai for about 8 mo. Several of my friends drop by because my place was big. I moved to smaller space and they still come.

One invection hot plate and an electric tea kettle and I manage to make a decent meal for us. My friends don't have kitchens. Cleaning up in the bathroom sink is messy, so meeting out is best. For many women we are done with cooking, cleaning, etc.

Come round for popcorn, beer and a movie any time, the invitation stands for my friends and they do come.

Question? What matters most? Friends or venue?

[robertson468]

My dog was never socialized and as a result acts like she will eat people who walk close to my gated home. If anyone wants to come over they have to call first so I can lock up the dog. I think this cuts down on visitors. My dog is an American Dingo/ Carolina dog.

Same same here....but a few are dropping in for xmas.

We have three dogs, one of which is a somewhat protective 62kg Great Dane. Once people are in and sat down, he is okay, it's getting to the sitting down stage is the problem! Having said that I have a couple of "brain damaged" friends who love to "run the gauntlet" and seem to enjoy the coffee/tea as well. Mind you they do invite me to their place for coffee/tea and are quite insistent, for some reason

[dotpoom]

many cases, it is the wife of the farang that does not want YOU to come into HER house, even HE paid for it

I'll have to learn to NOT ask my wife her opinion belb....I read your post out to her (she's sitting beside me) and asked her if she is a wife like that.....her answer to me..."I not care how many your friends come around....it's you who gets angry when they not call....and when they do, you get angry when they not go after long time...".

To see ourselves as others see us.

[rotary]

I think the whole world has changed to a degree. people do not visit other peoples homes like they did in the past. Not sure why this is but maybe with emails, SMS, mobile phones people stay in touch that way.

Personally I prefer it like this. I am not much on guest coming over and that includes the Thai family.

Edited December 22, 2013 by rotary

[DGIE]

star bucks coffee?maybe a good idea to try if a friend will invite me.

Nescafe? just ordinary but popular one.

Actually, a bottle of whisky with some grilled chicken intestine or grilled giant octopus is better to entertain a best friend.

[squarethecircle]

I prefer meeting friends out and about...generally keep to myself at home, and I mostly enjoy it. Do have a male American roommate so that guarantees regular contact with other ferangis.

[northengr]

Its my understanding from Thais of a middle class that it is reserved only for close close friends. You know you are REALLY in if certain Thais with less western living experience invite you to their home (this is true if you are Thai or more so if Farang). Seems to me homes are often the domain of the wife and her relatives or maid and kids and the men pay for it and live there, but are more on show in their mercedes and their office. They may not want to not be careful what they say at home also, since many will have a mia noi or wish they did.

As to us Farang's, well, there are lots of misfits here (not me of course). And i am sure there is also a full range of reasons like you say, also the spaces, especially in condo, tend to be small enough and the furniture just tight enough to not be so comfortable. In the US, my Thai wife and I have people over ALL the time, her food is better than any of the hi-so restaurants, drinks and coffee are cheaper and we live in 200sm with another 180sm of garage and workshop and 5 acres for parking . Here we fit into 85 sm (i don't count balconies) with all her clothes and my bicycle and golf stuff, office and tools, So less room for comfortable guests and no banquet tables for 12.

[Torrens54]

In another life-time in the "Land Down Under" my friends and I would always have dinner parties or BBQs on the weekends and everyone would do the rounds on a regular basis.

When I first lived in CNX several years ago, it was similar, then we moved back to Oz and the round of home-socializing continued, but when we came back to live here, things changed a bit. We still have a large comfortable house, a couple of full sized kitchens, dining room and alfresco area but maybe because we and our friends are getting that "little bit older," we are less inclined to want to cook for dinner parties etc., and so it is now simpler to just meet in town for coffee.

I still miss having a gaggle of friends around, although my wife and I do agree that "cleaning up" after big functions has become a pain in the backside. Interestingly though, our teenage daughter recently staged her First "Girl's Luncheon" which she cooked for and her school mates all helped with the clean-up, so maybe this is the start of "phase-two" of the "Dinner-Go-Round".

[muratremix]

I always amazed how Thai people visit others house but stay outside (garden etc). They simply don't accept visitors inside home, I guess it is a Thai thing. Same goes in rural Thailand (Isaan villages). Even if they managed to get inside home, they like to sit on ground instead of furniture (in village of course).

So they try to show off with every satang they have but yet they don't show off inside home (perhaps due to lack of decoration and comfy furniture in most Thai home).

This is pretty awkward for farangs from Mediterranean countries (Southern Europe, hello?).

As for myself, I like to call friends to home rather than meet them outside.

[rayongchelsea]

One of the great joys of living here is that you can meet in a beer garden have a beer outside in the warmth, have a snack or two, hit the entertainment areas if in the mood..

Why bring old habits from home..

It's not compulsory to take the wife/gf.

[FiftyTwo]

Thais generally don't invite friends to their home. Family and neighbours only.

Most foreigners live in condos, not enough space.

I don't actually like foreigners in my home, it's a Thai only area.

I also don't want their (former) hooker wives or gfs in my home.

Edited December 22, 2013 by FiftyTwo

[thehelmsman]

Thais generally don't invite friends to their home. Family and neighbours only.

Most foreigners live in condos, not enough space.

I don't actually like foreigners in my home, it's a Thai only area.

I also don't want their (former) hooker wives or gfs in my home

Thais generally don't invite friends to their home is some kind of BS. If your lady doesn't invite her friends over - you might look for a common denominator. Have som tam lao and they will come.

[JSixpack]

My friends and I prefer meeting a go-go where we can drink, be served, listen to music, and enjoy the scenery.