The Starting Point for Respecting Thais and Thai Culture

[Bender]

Well..... what 1 deserves....1 not always gets....

yes that true, especially... here in thailand.

[benalibina]

Well..... what 1 deserves....1 not always gets....

yes that true, especially... here in thailand.

Always found that people, in thailand, with whom i have no personal relationship, are the 1s showing respect. The 1s who are, unexpectedly and unasked, willing to do something extra for me. This with no money involved or expected.

No expectations leads to surprises and no disappointments.

Expectations leads to disappointments and few expectations are met.

This like almost everywhere in the world.

Different culture, different mindset !!

[Bender]

Well..... what 1 deserves....1 not always gets....

yes that true, especially... here in thailand.

Always found that people, in thailand, with whom i have no personal relationship, are the 1s showing respect. The 1s who are, unexpectedly and unasked, willing to do something extra for me. This with no money involved or expected.

No expectations leads to surprises and no disappointments.

Expectations leads to disappointments and few expectations are met.

This like almost everywhere in the world.

Different culture, different mindset !!

Always found that people, in thailand, with whom i have no personal relationship, are the 1s showing respect.

do you mean that the som tam seller who try to charge you 5 baht more is showing you some kind of respect?

or the police who try to rip you off few hundred dollars for any reason is showing deep respect to you?

or maybe its me who confuse respect, courtesy, politeness, whatever.

But what i have found in thailand, is i have to be careful with whom i mixed.... because if you lay with the dog you will get fleas...

[Thai at Heart]

I find the whole reason of demanding respect rather counter productive.

If it has to be conformed to so strictly, that would suggest that is not a wholly positive culture anyway. The strength of a culture goes way beyond waiing and appearance.

There are some nice aspects to Thai culture, but then all cultures have some nice points.

Some cultures stone you to death for adultery, Thai culture tells you to shut up if you catch a pooyai with his hands in the till, and not to think for yourself.

Not one of its better traits.

[benalibina]

Well..... what 1 deserves....1 not always gets....

yes that true, especially... here in thailand.

Always found that people, in thailand, with whom i have no personal relationship, are the 1s showing respect. The 1s who are, unexpectedly and unasked, willing to do something extra for me. This with no money involved or expected.

No expectations leads to surprises and no disappointments.

Expectations leads to disappointments and few expectations are met.

This like almost everywhere in the world.

Different culture, different mindset !!

Always found that people, in thailand, with whom i have no personal relationship, are the 1s showing respect.

do you mean that the som tam seller who try to charge you 5 baht more is showing you some kind of respect?

or the police who try to rip you off few hundred dollars for any reason is showing deep respect to you?

or maybe its me who confuse respect, courtesy, politeness, whatever.

But what i have found in thailand, is i have to be careful with whom i mixed.... because if you lay with the dog you will get fleas...

If u read my comment correctly i wrote when there is no money involved that people have been helpfull and kind to me. Busdrivers, trainassistents, check in staff at airport, supermarketpersonnel, immigrationstaff etc...it helped maybe that i can speak some thai and know that they like to laugh and that i have children..

Ofcourse i am aware of people who try to get a higher price of me because i am a foreigner, police trying to get teamoney from speedingviolations, no helmets, no drivinglicense in the wallet etc...again when they were correct i had to pay...when they tried to bullshit me for money...i did never pay. Speaking thai and photos of my kids in the wallet helped me to get away with it for free.

So if u mean about the intentions of many thais....i agree.....the whole system is based on fear....and yes..many rotten apples...for me and kids unfortunately now....very nearby......which i could have never foreseen.

[AlphMichaels]

Sorry, I don't have much respect.

The politicians, police and officials are crooks.

And everyone else wants in on the game.

Not to mention Thai culture ..... a culture of greed.

Greed exists everywhere. It's endemic and in no way limited to this country. It may come in different manifestations but its everywhere. Name a country where politicians, police and other officials don't have their share of the same? The "game"? Life is a game..., you gotta play to win or step aside before you're trampled by all those who want to compete.

[recycler]

Thai culture is Baht....

[PaulHamon]

Sorry but I don't respect any large groups of people, why should I give the Thais any special treatment. Many years ago, when I saw how people drive (not in Thailand) I decided that there was no hope for humanity, peace, common sense.... you name it.

Happy Christmas anyway.

respecting individuals for their virtues does make sense, not the horde.

[Bpuumike]

Their culture won't get my respect until they move beyond the concept of "face".

You are right.

Even my wife will rarely answer a direct question but I notice that in 2 hours, 2 days, or 2 weeks things are changed and done differently. All quietly and without argument, hence no loss of face

[Bpuumike]

Thai culture is Baht....

It's certainly a pillar of it.

The religeuos philosophy is the same, major business.

[jkinbkk]

Why is this a never ending subject for debate?

The moment you set foot in any country you start to abide by the laws of that country

The choice to blend in and embrace the idiosyncrasies of the culture are up to the individual.

Frankly if anyone feels they are unable to tolerate the people, the culture, the politics and the fact that we as non indigenous folks will encounter racism at times, then leave!

Absolutely no one who visits or resides in Thailand is forced to do so.

[arminbkk]

To avoid confusion, or to make sure we know what OP means by 'culture', perhaps he could give a

few parallels between his culture and Thai culture, as an example.

Ahead of that, if culture includes how Thais interact with each other:

In my culture it is rude to walk away or drive off when someone is still talking to you (out of a shared conversation).

In Thailand it seems to be very normal (as those involved don't seem bothered by it).

I classify this as culture because I see this often and anywhere.

I respect the fact that Thais apparently consider this normal, but it does not mean I can appreciate it.

If I would have to sum up my view on respect toward others: I will start out with basic respect and then....you get what you give.

[cooked]

Even the Thais don't respect one another, and from what I have heard, English mutual respect (which I called hypocrisy when I were a lad) has completely disappeared from everyday life.

[mesquite]

To learn about respecting the Thai culture, just watch the Chinese. They argue, speak loudly, spit, and demand discounts on things like massage and meals. The Thais seem to love them much more than they love farangs.

Edited December 26, 2013 by mesquite

[dotpoom]

Is the OP suggesting that one might not be able to respect more than one culture at a time, why would a person have to drop respect for their own culture in order to respect another, it's like saying that one has to lose respect for oneself in order to respect another person.

Personally I try (sometimes not easy) to respect all cultures and people ......whilst bearing in mind that the planet and all it's inhabitants are continually evolving....it's the only way I can cope with what seems to be a state of insanity prevailing across the entire planet with people spending so much time and effort devising means to... and carrying out ....atrocities on each other...from the top (men in suits) down.

I cope by remembering that some are at a different level of evolvement than others....and eventually we will all reach a state of awareness and enlightenment where men and women will finally understand that we are all brothers and sisters and if one of us is hurting then the rest of us are feeling the pain too, whether we realize it or not. Me thinks that will be well and truly after my time has been spent here.

Even in this tiniest section of one society where contributors put posts on TV....one can see how some people go out of their way to hurt others.

Maybe a day will come when love and not hate will be the main driving force of all of us.

[GuestHouse]

No, I'm suggesting if you don't first respect yourself and your own culture you have no anchor point against which to make a meaningful judgement of others.

[benalibina]

No, I'm suggesting if you don't first respect yourself and your own culture you have no anchor point against which to make a meaningful judgement of others.

I would add to RESPECT the word UNDERSTAND !

[klauskunkel]

imo, respect is earned, not given freely, that being said, I respect some individuals, but to respect a large group of people that would really have to be an extraordinary bunch...

[Rorri]

khunpa, on 25 Dec 2013 - 18:16, said:

txp158, on 25 Dec 2013 - 18:01, said:

Then you are living in a la la land. You probably think parents hate their own children when you see the kids get punished.

When I see parents hitting their children here in Thailand (which I sometimes see), then I think that the parents are stupid, under-educated and should never had had children... They for sure do not get my respect.

Since Homo erectus evolved, approx. 2 million years ago, we have disciplined our kids with "corporal" punishment, just as all animals discipline their off spring, it is only in the last 40 or 50 years that this form of punishment has been seen, by some cultures, as being wrong, WELL! now we see an increase of kids showing little to no respect for their parents , teachers, police, in fact towards many people. There is a saying, you should know the meaning of "spare the rod and spoil the child." Don't get me wrong, I do NOT advocate "bashing, but a light smack can work wonders. Kids need to learn that there are consequences for their actions.

[thailiketoo]

To learn about respecting the Thai culture, just watch the Chinese. They argue, speak loudly, spit, and demand discounts on things like massage and meals. The Thais seem to love them much more than they love farangs.

Ahhh no. Take a look at any of the internet dating sites and you can see who the Thai women go for. They like men from India and Pakistan more than Chinese men for gosh sakes.

Mesquite, you sound like you hang around a lot of low class Lao people who live in Thailand and you think they are Thai.

[indyuk]

After forty years of Asia twenty of which are specifically immersed in Thai culture I continue to find Thai people difficult. In particular my irritation of the Thai revulsion of foreigners while enthusiastically they binge upon foreign consumer products like gizmos, fashion and money, to the point of stupidity. The Thai offensive stance of supremacy that is strutted by a people that exploit everyone and everything is at times cute yet at other times is infuriating.

As a family man I cringe at the exploitation of Thai children by their own parents. Most animals in the wild are less abusive to their offspring than the Thai are of the own children, and given the chance, other peoples children too. Please don't tell me that such behaviors only prevail among the people of the I-san, the South or the Hill Tribes because that would be dishonest of you.

At seventy-three years of age I continue to love my life in Thailand and treat all people with respect in continuing hope that my Thai step children and their mothers will be accorded respect too.

[crazydrummerpauly]

I have absolutely no idea what 'respect one's own culture' means. All cultures are full of B/S, mendacity, contradictions and downright sentimental claptrap - mine included.

[rayongchelsea]

This is a fundamental tenant to happiness here in my opinion.

How can you appreciate another culture if you don't have the ability to appreciate and be proud of your own.

There are too many foreigners here who say the uk is crap..British culture is crap.

Thai women are wonderful..uk women are like men etc..

Too politically correct, here you can do what you want..

It's all about negatives, it's a very negative perspective and generally from an individual with a generally negative out look on life.Eventually Thailand becomes negative from an irrational point of view.

The guy on YouTube who blames everybody including his home culture..

I have always thought highly of western culture and it compares favorable with all others I have been exposed.

[Halion]

The OP is too semantic . Respect for a group of people and respect for a culture ,although interwoven an each can exhibit both positive and negative traits. People are entitled to respect for different reasons than one would respect a culture thus making this almost impossible to hold an objective opinion.

I for one see that the culture in this country is perhaps the most significant reason for the lack of development both socially and economically.

[GuestHouse]

No, I'm suggesting if you don't first respect yourself and your own culture you have no anchor point against which to make a meaningful judgement of others.

I would add to RESPECT the word UNDERSTAND !

I thought about including the word 'Understand" but chose not to, simply because the level of understanding any of us have is wide.

We spend a lot of time discussing how difficult it is to learn Thai language - I'd argue it is far more difficult to understand Thai culture and impossible to understand Thai culture to any significant depth if you do not first understand the language - without the language skills everything you 'understand' about the culture is coming to you via someone else's interpretation.

Learning Thai language I also learned and I am continually reminded that Thai people will inevitably present a view of Thai culture which is widely separated from what Thai culture actually is - often using their own understanding of Thai culture as a means to direct the choices of their foreign spouse/friend/colleague.

So no, I would not add the word 'Understand' since I believe very very few foreigners have anything beyond a superficial understanding of Thai culture.

Erroneous views on the matters of Thai culture so frequently posted here on TVF stand testament to this lack of understanding.

[hellodolly]

Very deep, you need to respect both, I just view them as different, no right or wrong

Agree 100% some of the most unhappy people I have met here have been here for years and still judging by the standards of where they come from. Except for working for a large company and being assigned here for the life of me I can not figure out why they bother coming here.

I am very aware of the sexpat's butt I do not think they all fit into that category. As for the drugs and alcohol well I am sure they are easily available where they come from.

Sorry, I don't have much respect.

The politicians, police and officials are crooks.

And everyone else wants in on the game.

Not to mention Thai culture ..... a culture of greed.

Not suggesting you go home but would be interesting to hear why you stay here. Other than being assigned by your company to come here and assuming (I could be wrong) you are not a sexpat or a drug addict why are you here. If you own a business here why did you set it up in a country you think so little of . If you have a Thai wife and family why do you not take them back to what you consider to be a correct way of life? for that matter why did you marry them and condemn yourself to live here.

I might sound like I am personally attacking you but I am really curious as to why people with your attitude choose to stay here. As I said some have no choice other than quieting the company that they were working for. Them I understand.

As for myself I love the different culture and for the most part am not affected by the corruption as I was and still am in the States. Even though that is a fact costing me about $300 a month in the states i would not have a problem living there if it attracted me as much as Thailand does.

[alex8912]

The starting point for me for respecting any countries people and culture is based on travel to 40 countries in the past 20 years. I really have found on average about 15% (usually 10-20) of a given countries people are as#%^+s (but I will use the word jerks) I want to be clear that this is based on people while visiting their own country. For example I don't mean Russians in Thailand but in Russia. My country population figures are approximate for you anal number crunchers. So with my 15% figure there are about 195 million Chinese jerks, 150 million Indian jerks, 46 million American jerks ( can't wait to hear your obnoxious thoughts on that) , 10 million Thai jerks( same goes for this) 8 million English jerks, 3 million Australian jerks, 1.5 million Swedish jerks, 1.4 million in UAE and about 79,000 jerks in Luxembourg etc. I am very very sorry for not including every country in my jerk stats there are just too many!!!! Also remember I have only been to forty so far!!

One other thing I would like to mention is that I would return to any of the the countries that I have visited again, all were amazing! I find I like the world more as I travel and it opens my mind. I make a point to eat, drink and be merry with locals everywhere. Yes even in the Middle East.. Just a little harder to find booze.

[Leung Falang]

I would offer that respect follows this definition: esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence

Certainly there must be a norm to judge against. It could be the culture of your country or tribe, but the norm could also come from your own morality irrespective of country/tribe/people group such as Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Animist, etc.

Thailand has close to 70 people groups living here so defining Thai culture most like means we first need to determine if there is only one Thai culture or if they differ considerably geographically and by people group. I have been married to an Isaan woman for 22 years and while we live here part time in our retirement, our relationship began in Hong Kong among American expats and continued that way in other countries and eventually the USA. She did not accept in her heart a culture that pushed rural poor down, where women had little input to family decisions, where men decided to have multiple families and sexual relationships, and where corruption was rampant.

She changed by being my wife, being friends with many American women, living in America, and finally from becoming a "born again Christian" 12 years ago.

Neither one of us agree with Isaan parents demanding money and gifts they don't need but want in order to have face in the village, and it is compounded when their grown children are poor laborers in Bangkok or a resort city. Europe and the US have corruption, but it is not acceptable to the vast majority of the population and the criminals are heavily punished, unlike here.

Rural farmers live in family groups that hardly ever now help each other without compensation. Times are changing. Students continue to believe strongly in groups where it is difficult to find a leader.

A country absent leadership will only find elected politicians that are thieves.

Embrace the parts that are worthy while suggesting to close, very close Thai friends that some "cultural" things would be better changed, better for all. For instance, bringing in several loud speakers taller than a man for a party is not a cultural event that is pleasing even in Thailand, but a culture of mai pen rai lets it go on. Happy New Year

[1ma]

When they start respecting the Rohingya and poor minorities, I will start to respect them.

[aTomsLife]

On the surface, I'm always respectful. But in my heart of hearts there are some issues.

Before I can fully respect their culture, first they must learn to respect my humanity.

It goes beyond the scams, as well as the sensational headlines of criminals getting proverbial slaps on the wrists for egregious, and sometimes violent crimes against westerners.

The crux of it is, too many western men marry, build a house, have children and are no closer to permanent residency than a first-time tourist. That's disgraceful. If you're allowing us to marry, there should be some reasonably accessed path to a permanent stay. I'm not asking for the right to vote, but simple assurance that if I have children here, no one can force me from them on a visa technicality.