Why Do Some Thai Funerals Take Several Days ?

[Chao Lao Beach]

Many times I see them 'dragging' on for 3 - 7 days with the deceased persons body out the front of the house and each night there is a little gathering at that house.

I get that it gives more people a chance to pay respects, I have also been told by an expat friend that it gives more chances of the funeral turning a "profit" or gaining more donations form people paying their respects and it is encouraged by some temples as the monks get a donation each day they visit and chant.

My question, is, is 1 day still respectful ?

Is 3+ days more beneficial for the grieving or does it just drag it out and make it worse?

Do you really need the coffin at your house, or can it all be done at the temple?

I know, it may be a bizare subject, but I am trying to be educated on this subject, unfortunately this is something I have to learn about.

[robblok]

This is tradition, probably in the old days it took longer to get relatives to come over.

Now this is one tradition that I would not break with as it would be a huge problem. If it is for yourself that is ok but for a Thai its real important.

[x5david]

This is tradition, probably in the old days it took longer to get relatives to come over.

Now this is one tradition that I would not break with as it would be a huge problem. If it is for yourself that is ok but for a Thai its real important.

Agree. I have been to four funerals in my time in Thailand. Two in BKK and two in Isaan. In BKK the body always lied in state at a temple but always for 3 days. In Isaan the body stayed at the house and then moved to the temple on the 3rd day for cremation. Gambling all day and night took place at the Isaan funerals as police look the other way during this time. Agree that it is an opportunity to get donations for the grieving family and the local wat monks but also tradition to try and help the family through the grieving process.

[fabianfred]

In Tibet they believe that it takes 3 days for the spirit body to fully leave the old physical body, so that dispose of it on the third day. Perhaps similar beliefs exist in several Asian Countries, but now most people just don't know.

Certainly it does give distant relatives a chance to get to the funeral for the last important day...the cremation.

[Maybole]

They are waiting for an auspicious day. It is also for prestige, the longer they can keep the corpse and the higher the number of monks attending the greater the family face.

[Longtooth]

There might be some sorting out of distribution of minor belongings within the family. I knew an old lady in America who had a book at her house, and when you visited her, if you saw anything you would want in her house, you wrote it down in her book with your name, to be given to you on her passing. Not officially legal, but if the executor was willing, it was kind of a nice thing, I guess.

[hgma]

in some cases the deceased has made notice of which monks-temple and people he/she wants to see attend their funeral

It Takes time to gather the monks, the family and the higher in class the more people attend.

btw

Isaan funerals...in general....are of a different 'attitude' then the BKK and Southern funerals.

Important Thais don't invite 'strangers' and/or foreigners to their funeral and never get drunk and disorderly during ceremonies!!

[NanLaew]

When my dad passed away in Scotland, I was offshore Vietnam and it took me almost four days to get home. By the time I got there, the undertaker had done the needful but rather than have him lying in some anonymous funeral home, my mum and sister had his open coffin in the living room at home, facing the telly as he would have liked. It was great sitting and chatting with him there, together as a family. Played cards sometimes, laughed a bit, cried a bit more, drank a fair few beers and just let him watch the telly.

No Buddhists in our household either.... fancy that!

[Costas2008]

According to my wife .....it has more to do with showing off to the other people that you have plenty of money, so, you can afford to pay the monks for more days to come and chant and also afford to provide food and entertainment for more days.

It's a matter of FACE!!!

[chuenyongman]

My wife's father passed away not long before we were married. He passed on a Saturday. He lay in state in the temple, in a refrigerated box until the following Sunday. When he was cremated,

there were over 700 people at the ceremony. Several days later the family went to a river ,went out in a boat and disposed of the ashes.

I do not know the name of the river as I had not been there before.

[mallyrd]

in some cases the deceased has made notice of which monks-temple and people he/she wants to see attend their funeral

It Takes time to gather the monks, the family and the higher in class the more people attend.

btw

Isaan funerals...in general....are of a different 'attitude' then the BKK and Southern funerals.

Important Thais don't invite 'strangers' and/or foreigners to their funeral and never get drunk and disorderly during ceremonies!!

I have been to plenty of funerals in the South of Thailand, including 2 brothers in law. I have also been invited to innumerable funerals where I was not part of the family. Cards and the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol were always the norm. A good night out.

[wayned]

Where I live it is normally 3 days, but longer if it is a very important person. This is a quote for a explanation of Buddhist mournig that I came across:

"As along as the body is present the spirit can benefit by the gifts presented, the sermons preached and the chants uttered before it. This thought lies behind the use of the bhusa yhong ribbon which extends from the body within the coffin to the chanting monks before it. The dead may thus have contact with the holy sutras. When the body is cremated the spirit is more definitely cut off from the world, it is best therefore not to force that spirit to enter the preta world finally and irrevocably until it has had the benefit of a number of religious services designed to improve its status. "

My wife says that it's just another reason to have a party, and when I kick the bucket she plans to have a big one!

[MissFarmGirl]

When we have funeral almost time we will 3-9 nights.
If they are older people they might have many people know them. I will example

Mr.A is older man he move from some where then live another place that it mean Mr.A will know more people. And then Mr.A was go up many people that he know and know him want to come for show respect Mr.A for last time.

Some people know Mr.A pass away after he die 1 day because their house close each other but about some people know Mr.A was die after 2 or 3 days because their house far away.

In the past we no technology like right now.

And also Thai culture is big soceity not same the western culture.

About money for show respect (put money in envelope) we will give to Mr.A's family maybe his wife, son, daughter but we will give them only one time one envelope or you know his son and his daughter and close with them you can give to both of them separate envelope.

We can go to funeral many time but we won't give money to them every time we went there.

But don't forget every night we will have food and drink for the people who come to the funeral.

About the monk the money that we gave to them it's donation or make merit for Mr.A.
But about young people die they may have 3-5 nights for funeral.

Thai culture..if who die out side the house ( I mean die by accident or another place not house area) most time we will make funeral at the temple.
But for someone die in or area the house we can make funeral at the house. But right now most people make funeral at the temple because it is convenient for visiter.

About get profit with funeral I do not know every family different but I remember when my grandmother pass away my father, uncle and aunt they were got money from visiter (money in envelope) they bought the chair (good quality) and give to the temple for make merit for my grandmother.

[HerbalEd]

What's the big mystery for you? It's Thai tradition. AThai might well ask a similar question: Why are funerals in the West so short?

[thailandpeter2]

my thai wife also told me once that it takes several days (i think it was 3days too) until the spirit 'understands' that the body is dead and leaves finally...

In Tibet they believe that it takes 3 days for the spirit body to fully leave the old physical body, so that dispose of it on the third day. Perhaps similar beliefs exist in several Asian Countries, but now most people just don't know.

Certainly it does give distant relatives a chance to get to the funeral for the last important day...the cremation.

[thailandpeter2]

it's mostly either 3 or 7 days, sometimes 5 days, but it never seems to be 2, 4 or 6 days. anybody can explain why it's never an even number of days?

Where I live it is normally 3 days, but longer if it is a very important person. This is a quote for a explanation of Buddhist mournig that I came across:

"As along as the body is present the spirit can benefit by the gifts presented, the sermons preached and the chants uttered before it. This thought lies behind the use of the bhusa yhong ribbon which extends from the body within the coffin to the chanting monks before it. The dead may thus have contact with the holy sutras. When the body is cremated the spirit is more definitely cut off from the world, it is best therefore not to force that spirit to enter the preta world finally and irrevocably until it has had the benefit of a number of religious services designed to improve its status. "

My wife says that it's just another reason to have a party, and when I kick the bucket she plans to have a big one!

[nithisa78]

Persoanlly , not too big on funerals. However, one day, no days, yes it can still be respect. Why not?

[crazydrummerpauly]

Simple : Showing-Off and collecting money.

[jjablonsky]

The real reason is they get an exception to the no gambling law during the "funeral, wake, whatever" celebration

[circusman]

When my dad passed away in Scotland, I was offshore Vietnam and it took me almost four days to get home. By the time I got there, the undertaker had done the needful but rather than have him lying in some anonymous funeral home, my mum and sister had his open coffin in the living room at home, facing the telly as he would have liked. It was great sitting and chatting with him there, together as a family. Played cards sometimes, laughed a bit, cried a bit more, drank a fair few beers and just let him watch the telly.

No Buddhists in our household either.... fancy that!

As off topic as I have ever seen.

[bina]

it's mostly either 3 or 7 days, sometimes 5 days, but it never seems to be 2, 4 or 6 days. anybody can explain why it's never an even number of days-

budhism has everything in denominations of 3 (the triple gem) - so 3 6 and 9 are lucky numbers also, ask any thai what numbers are most used for lotto...

[rgs2001uk]

Simple : Showing-Off and collecting money.

My MIL like most Thais keeps a ledger in the house, its sorted by name and event.

She can tell you exactly how much money was generated for any event, funeral, wedding, tam boon baan etc etc, its lists exactly how much each person donated.

Prior to an event the MIL gets out the ledger and has a quick look, this will dictate how much she or her family put in the envelope.

Heres a clue, why do you think every envelope has your name on it, so they can record the amount and reciprocate when the time comes.

I have witnessed lap tops at weddings where on entering the hall, the envelope is opened and the amount entered on a spreadsheet.

As mentioned above, those wise in Thai ways will let their other half sort it out, the unwise will get suckered into all sorts of face buying crap.

Many of these villagers have a village insurance fund to take care of the funeral and expenses, other families have private insurance.

Sadly for many its all about keeping up with the Somchais, borrowing and spending money they dont have to try and gain face, the problem is they cant buy status in the village, everyone knows who and what they are.