Hello Thai Visa people ,I need some useful opinions about my problem

[Kahn de]

Hello,

I'm a Thai guy who is currently working and studying in Germany ,but I have a serious problem which is flirting with European girls because of cultural and social diffrences which cause me feel occasionally confused what I should do and act when talking with them. Personally, I have never had a Western girlfriend before in my life,even though there're many of them come to my life. Mostly, they're good friends and we have a good relationship with each other.

Actually,I've found it's hard for a guy like me to get approach to Western girls,especially when I was in Thailand because they tend to be in tourist or international places and also it's so rare to see a middle Thai guy to be in a relationship with a farang girl , including my friends and I. I travelled around Islands in Southern part of Thailand and see the only Thai males who date farang or European girls is fire boys or for piercing tatttos artists rather than Thai guys from another occupations, like me as a professor in a university. And I don't know why Farang women are only attracted to the one group of Thai men.

The question is that what should I do to have a chance to get to know Western girls and develop a relationship with them ?

I know some of you may tell me to be more confident and trying not to be a nice guy,but I think that answer is not quite inclusively understadable.

Good news for every foreigners in Thailand,

After I come back to Bangkok, my friends and I will open Thai language and culture schools for foreigners all over Thailand. This is my purpose of being in being in Germany teaching Thai studies to German people .I believe every single plan will finally be done soon.By the way,

Thanks for your opinions and suggestion

[infinity11]

People are people where ever you go?

Try online dating?

[chuang]

My oh my a professor asking help to know farang women......stop your flirting...

[Jayroo]

Not even farang men know how to handle farang women, I don't know much about German farang women, from what I heard they are fiesty ones...

[metisdead]

A nonsense trolling post has been removed as well as a reply.

[David48]

I have to say, firstly to the OP ... awesome first post ...

Your English is almost Faultless and considering that you could be as fluent in German, since you are studying and living there, your calling in life might be that you could teach these highly developed language skills to the Thai people.

For get German, forget Western woman!

Come back to Thailand ... your Country needs you!

p.s. ... we have no idea either

.

[CWMcMurray]

Well a little bit funny... as many of the western males living in Thailand have fairly strong opinions of western women... so to be truthful, you may not end up getting the best advice about western women on this site.

All I would say, is that while many western women may say they are looking for a "nice guy", most seem to prefer the "bad boys" or those who are at least a bit more outgoing/funny/A-type personalities

So being a shy or humble or overly polite, which are all very good traditional Traits for middle class Thais, is likely to get you stuck in the "Friend-zone"... once there is is very difficult (if not impossible) to escape.

I never had it in me to treat women like crap...for some reason, many western women seemed to like that (or at least in the US they did)... so just try to be a bit more outgoing / funny and don't be afraid to make your intentions known if you like a girl.

So in short, be confident and outgoing and don't be afraid or disappointed if the girls does not feel the same way... at the the end of the day, in the west it is a numbers game... if you ask out 10 girls, at least a couple will normally say yes (assuming you are not a Quasimodo look a like)

[krisb]

So you studied hard at uni, became a professor and your asking us how to date a women!

Thai women and western women are pretty much the same mate

[Costas2008]

Don't worry, my friend..........when you switch the light off......they are all the same.........either in Thailand, Germany or Lapland!

[GuestHouse]

TVF is the last place I'd recommend anyone go in search of advice on relationships with women.

[Shancloudy]

Mr. OP

When you meet a girl for the first time, you'd obviously know nothing about her. So think from her perspective and talk to her. Ask a few questions and see how she respond. If she seems excited to talk about something then continue talking about it. Remember each girl all over the world is different, and has her own likes and dislikes. Knowing how to get a girl is really complicated sometimes ( it depends to the girl ). I suggest you should start in "friendship strategy" try to do something to be her friend. Then learn how to impress her. Discover simple and fun for a date locations that help your conversation flow.

[impulse]

TVF is the last place I'd recommend anyone go in search of advice on relationships with women.

Especially western women, who seem to be the reason a lot of these guys left for Thailand.

[Donnie Brasco]

I assume you live in a large to medium sized urban setting close to a University.

1) locate the best Asian wet market/ green grocer in your area.

2) collect ten proven recipes from Mom and/or Thai friends and add some tam, Pad Thai and the pad kapow trio and the kaow knieu mamuang desert

3) master at least seven of your favourites from this list of ten

THEN

4) enrol as a beginner in a hands-on Thai cooking course

5) make friends with everyone

Buy a stick

Later on you can add chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate dipped deep-fried bananas and chocolate cake to your repertoire

Suggest that a well-made Caesar is a reasonable facsimile for som tam but NOT before you learn how to make a good Casar

Remind everyone that you are looking for someone to help in the kitchen. Your kitchen.

If this does not lead to immediate results, post notices in all the women's facilities and student clubs for women as well as the International Students' Lounge.

Hold cooking classes of your own.

And lose that silly aversion Thai men seem to have to raw seafood.

If you wash it together it tastes like pla muk.

And you can always drizzle it with Bailey's Irish Cream

Learn how to make strawberry shortcake.

Hope this helps.

Edited January 3, 2014 by Donnie Brasco

[Mrjlh]

Professor are you speaking about "western women" outside the classroom or in the classroom? If they are in the class room "run" like hell and don't look back. You're only asking for trouble. On the other hand "western women" outside the classroom are just as messed up as Thai ones. Welcome to the real world....nothing's changed. You'll be lucky to find one that actually has her feet on the ground and doesn't play games. That goes for men too if that's you bag.

[simple1]

OP: There are a number of Western women married/live with Thai men in Thailand who are members of TV. How about posting in the women’s section of TV without the generalisations of what attracts Western women to Thai men here in Thailand

[Jayroo]

So you studied hard at uni, became a professor and your asking us how to date a women!

Thai women and western women are pretty much the same mate

ermm no they're not. I'm pretty sure he didn't go to uni to get a degree in dating western women. lol

[krisb]

So you studied hard at uni, became a professor and your asking us how to date a women!

Thai women and western women are pretty much the same mate

ermm no they're not. I'm pretty sure he didn't go to uni to get a degree in dating western women. lol

If they aren't the same, name just 5 things different besides facial features and language?

I will then say you're right.

Btw, I mean he is smart enough to become a professor, he is smart enough to talk to a girl and ask her out.

Edited January 3, 2014 by krisb

[Jayroo]

So you studied hard at uni, became a professor and your asking us how to date a women!

Thai women and western women are pretty much the same mate

ermm no they're not. I'm pretty sure he didn't go to uni to get a degree in dating western women. lol

If they aren't the same, name just 5 things different besides facial features and language?

I will then say you're right.

Btw, I mean he is smart enough to become a professor, he is smart enough to talk to a girl and ask her out.

I could name 100 things, but you probably wouldn't understand, judging by your posts. Also just because he is smart doesn't mean he knows how to talk to women, it just doesn't work like that.

Edited January 3, 2014 by Jayroo

[Sheryl]

The main problem I think for Thai men in your situation is that in the West you have to be much more assertive and direct than you are accustomed to, and this is hard for Thai people. Subtle cues may not be understood or work. (This applies not only to dating but to all interpersonal interactions, including at work./school etc). You have to force yourself to flirt more directly. And, as part and parcel of that, you have to be prepared for frequent rejection and not take it personally. Remember that the concept of "face" is not so strong in the West and most people you are dealing with won't know much about your culture so they may unintentionally cause you to feel that you have lost face. Try to grow a thicker skin and persevere.

Lots of women will find the fact that you are Thai intriguing, exotic and appealing. It gives you a head start on other men as it is something out of the ordinary.

If you are fluent enough in German, online sites to find someone not a bad idea.

[charlieboz]

Be more direct, western women like that more than thai women. Thai women, I have found, like their boyfriends to be sweeter and much more attentive than western girls.

[devolad]

Khan de,

I agree with a lot of what Sheryl has advised - although none of us who have posted here know your personality or character, I do think being reasonably direct is likely to get you more initial dates. On the presumption that your studies place you in a university environment, the chances of having at least some contact with western girls are pretty high. It's just about converting that contact into a fun and off campus date. (Warning - be a bit careful if any of these ladies are your students - could be a breach of university ethics!)

Can be as easy as saying when finishing a study group session " I am going to a thai restaurant - why don't you join me if you don't have plans" - when you say it, you need to be positive in the way you ask, but not pushy. A thai restaurant is going to give you the advantage of being able to chat about the menu, advise your date of dishes that come from your home province, and generally give you more of a chance to fall into easy going conversation. IMHO it is always a good idea to ask your date some light hearted questions, and then let them talk - people love feeling like they have been listened too.

You will definitely get some "no thanks" as a response - but like another poster said, that is just part of dating.

BUT very careful who you pursue - you may actually catch them!

Good Luck with the dating - (never forget - there are lots of single ladies who go home alone each night who would love for someone to ask them on a date)

[Kayahammer]

Too many generalizations mate. See people for who they are and stop looking for a 'fix everything tactic'

[jackflash]

> while many western women may say they are looking for a "nice guy", most seem to prefer the "bad boys"

Sadly, I think this is spot on.

It means that eventually a more predatory guy will come along and she will go for him.

Women have evolved to mate with predatory men, while pursuing the nice guy for his money.

[rotorbreeze]

So you studied hard at uni, became a professor and your asking us how to date a women!

Thai women and western women are pretty much the same mate

As a Asian living in Europe or I have seen in Canada...go buy an expensive car..black is preferred...wear sunglasses at night clubs..dress well and look like you are a dealer and have high connections in the underworld...seem bad idea but women are the very opposite to what YOU think you are. or...come back to Thailand where the roll is easier to play here...first off get as much education as you can in Germany..see you after you graduate..keep us posted on your scores..ok?

[infinity11]

OP sounds shy.

Face your fear and try new things?

I STILL get nervous/butterflies approaching farang women, but i learned to not let that stop me.

Call me a mini-dating warrior.

BTW and i am sure to get flack about this: German women are fantastic on so many levels!!!

2nd only to the thai gals!!! (in my book)

They can go 'places' figuratively, no Thai can every go.

[brit1984]

i recommend to use the "trial and error" method

[godden]

buy her a comb for the hair under her arm

[umbanda]

I am a lot older now. In my 30's, single, very good looking, very busy and successful in business, etc etc, I had problems in meet all the women I liked to meet and date....and wondering why...

I had a business contact, a vendor of my company visiting my office every week. He was about my age, single like me, and the total opposite in those qualifications......but..very talkative, funny and very self confident. EVERY time I was out, ALONE, frequenting bars and restaurants, I found him in the company of very good looking women....

Finally......I asked him how he was so lucky..His answer was.....Because his work, he meets a lot of women every day in clients offices, in business seminars and meetings, etc. Even in stores, in the streets, EVERY TIME he meets an attractive woman, EVERY TIME he will ask them for a date.

He got a lot of rejections, but keeping the sense of humor every time, and never giving up. Asking to more than 10 women a day....EVERY DAY... very few ones will say YES...but enough to keep him very busy with dates.

He also said that he got more dates with beautiful ones, just because men sometimes are afraid of rejection and never ask.

Moral of this real event......Be funny and casual, every time you meet a woman you will like to date..every time...in any place..in any country,....and ask for a date. What you have to lose?

.

[belg]

mmhh

western girls know that thai, japanese, most asian have SHORTcommings

plus girls overthere, have some values as not prostituting them in the direct way as you see in pattaya, but in others... you pay for dinner, movie, disco ... in thailand, you could rape the girl and pay off the police that is was consentual, in europe, it works a bit differently...

[12DrinkMore]

Don't worry, my friend..........when you switch the light off......they are all the same.........either in Thailand, Germany or Lapland!

That is not the issue.

The problem arises in the morning, when the cold light of day shines through the windows, you pull back the sheet and <deleted>