I'll tell you why

[yourauntbob]

Maybe a bit of a rant, but I have come to a realization. Many posters have asked the question why people live here and are so negative towards Thailand in their posts. Many times I feel myself exemplifying these attitudes. Today it hit me.

I really enjoy the company of Thai people on an individual basis. Many of them are truly great people. When we talk one on one they are caring, compassionate, and giving people. I really enjoy Thai food..... to my waist lines demise. All of the flavors smack you in the face and leave most other foods looking bland and dull. This is most likely the reason many Thai people eat Thai food 95% or more of the time. Thailand has beaches and forests that rival almost anywhere else in the world. Even better, you can enjoy a nice holiday in most of these places at a fraction of the cost when compared to many other areas of the world providing the same comforts. Which is another thing I love about Thailand, accessibility to almost anything you want? Sure that many western comforts will cost you western prices or more, but if you want to pay for it you can have it. I could go on, but most of you already know the perks of being in Thailand. So why do I complain?

Two words……..Thai culture. Every morning I drive to work and I feel like I am navigating through a circus, honestly fearing for my life in some cases. There are many explanations on why the roads are so dangerous, they almost always lead back to cultural. We don’t want people to lose face when they fail their test (no fail policy) or you can just pay to get the card (bribing is ok if it benefits you) etc. This brings me to another thing about Thai culture that drives me up a wall, the school system. Here in Thailand, school is meant to be fun! No need for hard work, or critical thinking, just smile and show up (late mind you) and we will move you right along. Actually, don’t ask the teacher any questions because that means you’re a) dumb, not listening. Talk about setting up a person to fail later in life. This cultural aspect leads a large amount of the population to be mindless drones walking through their job incapable of even the slightest amount of in-depth though. They were taught not to question anything in school, why start now? When I patron a Thai business, I can be sure that the person behind the counter will be completely oblivious to any special circumstances I might have. If it’s not in their repetitive process, they aint doin it! From time to time they pull out their mindless boss to tell me how it’s impossible because the computer system will not allow it. So it’s impossible to take the pickles off my sandwich because the computer doesn’t have a button for that? Though in many cases I am just happy I got to the cashier. Why is it that I need to get intimate with the person in front of me or I lose my space in line? Cant adults act in a cordial manner? Instead of everybody throwing elbows to get to the front, how about a system of first come first serve. In the case where there are two of us and one has 100 items and the other has 1, cant common sense dictate the situation? Let me go back to something I skimmed over earlier for a moment. How hard is it to be on time? I understand that in the west it is often over blown. There is no need for the amount of promptness that many western cultures run on. But there are situations when being on time IS important. Many Thai people are not trying to be rude, their culture just tells them that timing is irrelevant and all that matters is that they eventually get there. This drives me nuts. It’s not their fault it drives me nuts, but it does and I come here to complain. I don’t complain because it will do me any good, I complain because sometimes its nice to complain. Ok, let’s go back to our cash register. The best part of that cash register being a computer, it makes it harder for them to charge me twice the price. Do they do this to me to be mean? No, they don’t think its mean, they see it as the way it is. Again, cultural steps in and smacks me in the face. There are a multitude more cultural aspects I could rant about here but none of them are going to be new to most of you so I will get to the third part of this post.

Auntbob, why do you live here if you hate the culture sooo much? First, there are some parts of the culture I do enjoy. But, to answer your question, my wife. She is one of the most selfless people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. After a hard day of work, she comes home and cooks a nice western dinner for me while I sit on the couch and post on TV. She then throws some Thai soup in the microwave for herself so we can eat together. Yes, she reheats her food so mine can be fresh. Her priority list for just about everything in life is always her parents, then me, then her friends and finally herself. 90% of her complaints to me are out of caring for my health and safety. She doesn’t care if I want to go out and a have a few drinks with friends, but how I will get home. She buys me sweets daily because she knows I like them, but in small quantities so I don’t over eat. When she cooks my meals she goes out of her way to buy quality ingredients so less butter, sugar, and salt need to be added. I am not allowed to own a motor bike, so she took me out car shopping and helped me buy the car so I am safe. I am lucky to have found her and count my blessing, she is worth putting up with all of the above. That being said, if it wasn’t for her I would have been out of this country years ago. And if the day comes where she wises up and realizes she can do soo much better than me, I will be on the next plane out of here.

Hope the length of this post was worth it, it may not match the blether but hopefully it was enjoyed all the same.

[weegee]

The last paragraph, sums it up....for me too... I, like you, have the same assessment of Thailand as well.

P.S. the fridge always has the Mars Bars at the ready

[JLCrab]

In the words of the late Elizabeth Taylor au contraire , my (almost) wife is an 'avaricious bitch'. Keeps life interesting.

[CharlieH]

Agree totally, have felt the same at times, the last part is great, well said, and my wife is just the same thankfully.

[Costas2008]

Loved your article yourauntbob.

So well written and so true.

It was like looking at myself in a mirror.

Keep up the good work.

[Sigurris]

Why do so many people find it difficult to accept that life is not black or white. It is possible to love and hate a country in equal (or unequal) measure and find that there are only a small number of things one likes about the country. But those things are enough to keep them here.

The OP makes a good case in point. I agree with much of what he says. I have not been lucky enough (yet) to find a Thai woman to settle down with and so cannot use that to hold me here. I don't know many Thai's but find the ones I meet in general to be fairly decent. That said, the Police, traffic, education system, xenophobia, politics, corruption, noise pollution are irritating in the extreme.

I had a decent life in London (a city I love above all others) when I came here; so why don't I do as suggested and P*ss off back there? Because weighing everything up I have a decent life here and that is enough. I also have hope that I will meet that special person one day.

Whatever anyone says nowhere (and that includes Thailand) is perfect. But if on balance you can put up with the bad because there is enough good then that, surely is enough. Don't attack the OP because he is honest enough to admit his reasons for being here. Embrace the fact that we are all individuals and make decisions based on our hearts sometimes.

[Clutch]

'Every morning I drive to work and I feel like I am navigating through a circus, honestly'

I concur!

A study over recent years indicates and confirms the way a society conducts themselves and behaves socially in general thinking is a direct indication on how they behave and act on the roads.

[cashpower]

A study over recent years indicates and confirms the way a society conducts themselves and behaves socially in general thinking is a direct indication on how they behave and act on the roads.

Well done. Your peer reviewed study by a qualified scientist (with references) is irrefutable.

Oh wait.

[Issangeorge]

My way of thinking is Thailand is not my home country, of course it is going to have a different culture than mine. I can't change it so I have two choices either except their culture and adapt to it or return to my home country, I have decided to except their culture and adept to it. I very seldom complain about it, because who is to say who is right or wrong.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 6 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[trainman34014]

Good stuff; sums up the situation nicely for the most of us i would say.

[SeaVisionBurma]

Flame post and a reply quoting it have been removed

[thailiketoo]

Maybe you are a school teacher but I had children in my class in a government school that were held back. They were a pain because they were older than my normal students. I was asked for my grades every term and It necessary that I gave the grades to the principal of the school before the end of the term.

As for not being able to substitute things on a menu I refer you to the below movie.

[samuibeachcomber]

The OP has found and stays with a beautiful wife,and he is very lucky.There are real "gems" out there just waiting to be found and it can make all the difference to being happy or unhappy here.

Thai culture is here to be "understood" not changed.When we come to live here we should accept this and mold ourselves around this.This way can help us be happy here.

On the other hand if we have landed ourselves in an unhappy relationship this can sour our view of everything else here in thailand.

Just my 2 bobs worth.

[Rsquared]

One of the most enjoyable rants I have read in a long time......hits the nail right on the head.

Well done "yourantbob".

Cheers.

[Clutch]

The OP has found and stays with a beautiful wife,and he is very lucky.There are real "gems" out there just waiting to be found and it can make all the difference to being happy or unhappy here.

Thai culture is here to be "understood" not changed.When we come to live here we should accept this and mold ourselves around this.This way can help us be happy here.

On the other hand if we have landed ourselves in an unhappy relationship this can sour our view of everything else here in thailand.

Just my 2 bobs worth.

You've hit the nail on the head!

[willyumiii]

Life anywhere is a question of balance.

When the negative out weighs the positive, it's time for a change.

In the OP's case and in many of our cases, one huge positive outweighs a lot of little negatives.

This thread is spot on.

as usual, the condo buyer who is so inconvenienced by those struggling for a decent life...is way off target.

[rct99q]

Wow, great! All except the last paragraph. Sounds to me like you have found a subservient, house servant rather than a wife. So I can only gather she is the exact opposite of your previous spouse. Thus you enjoy living here?

Maybe I am reading too much into this but you have less a marriage, but more a owner/servant relationship. But if it works for you excellent, and I fully agree it is a good reason to be living here.

Cheers.

[JLCrab]

Wow, great! All except the last paragraph. Sounds to me like you have found a subservient, house servant rather than a wife. So I can only gather she is the exact opposite of your previous spouse. Thus you enjoy living here?

Maybe I am reading too much into this but you have less a marriage, but more a owner/servant relationship. But if it works for you excellent, and I fully agree it is a good reason to be living here.

Cheers.

I have come to Thailand and I have found June Cleaver --

[MrBrad]

Quote: "This brings me to another thing about Thai culture that drives me up a wall, the school system. Here in Thailand, school is meant to be fun! No need for hard work, or critical thinking, just smile and show up (late mind you) and we will move you right along. Actually, don’t ask the teacher any questions because that means you’re a) dumb, not listening. Talk about setting up a person to fail later in life."

I've always believed (and still do) that the reason questions usually are not asked or in some cases even allowed in class is that it would cause the teacher--not the student--to lose face. If questioned, it means that the teacher is not doing her or his job properly. She is the elder, the one to be respected, of course, and she has gone to a university. To ask a question that the teacher may be unprepared to answer would be embarrassing for all.

But the result is the same, i.e., the student is not allowed to live up to his or her potential, which is a disservice to society.

[thailiketoo]

Quote: "This brings me to another thing about Thai culture that drives me up a wall, the school system. Here in Thailand, school is meant to be fun! No need for hard work, or critical thinking, just smile and show up (late mind you) and we will move you right along. Actually, don’t ask the teacher any questions because that means you’re a) dumb, not listening. Talk about setting up a person to fail later in life."

I've always believed (and still do) that the reason questions usually are not asked or in some cases even allowed in class is that it would cause the teacher--not the student--to lose face. If questioned, it means that the teacher is not doing her or his job properly. She is the elder, the one to be respected, of course, and she has gone to a university. To ask a question that the teacher may be unprepared to answer would be embarrassing for all.

But the result is the same, i.e., the student is not allowed to live up to his or her potential, which is a disservice to society.

What school in Thailand does not allow questions?

[wym]

What school in Thailand does not allow questions?

You obviously are not familiar with Thai pedagogy methods.

The teacher lectures and gives handouts.

The students must listen, take notes and memorize, preparing to regurgitate verbatim on the exams.

A student questioning the teacher is showing disrespect, implying the teacher isn't doing their job properly.

God forbid actually challenging any statements.

Makes things interesting when the students know more on a given topic than the teacher, as in many ICT classes.

But yes that's the way it is.

[weegee]

Wow, great! All except the last paragraph. Sounds to me like you have found a subservient, house servant rather than a wife. So I can only gather she is the exact opposite of your previous spouse. Thus you enjoy living here?

Maybe I am reading too much into this but you have less a marriage, but more a owner/servant relationship. But if it works for you excellent, and I fully agree it is a good reason to be living here.

Cheers.

Yes, maybe you are....but that's ok. I read something refreshing from the OP, in his last Paragraph.

[yourauntbob]

Wow, great! All except the last paragraph. Sounds to me like you have found a subservient, house servant rather than a wife. So I can only gather she is the exact opposite of your previous spouse. Thus you enjoy living here?

Maybe I am reading too much into this but you have less a marriage, but more a owner/servant relationship. But if it works for you excellent, and I fully agree it is a good reason to be living here.

Cheers.

i can see how it reads like that. believe me the relationship goes both ways. i certainly have my choirs and responsibilities. i was only trying to highlight how great she treats me and keep the spotlight off myself. its not the case like on another thread that i call up stairs for her to come down and open my beer, if i did i would have it being broken over my head. .

and no prior marriages

[sirineou]

The last paragraph, sums it up....for me too... I, like you, have the same assessment of Thailand as well.

P.S. the fridge always has the Mars Bars at the ready

You made it to the last paragraph?

First paragraph summed up well, some good some bad, but mostly good so we take the bad with the good.

Then I look below and I see a page of more stuff, all words, no pictures.

That's where you lost me,

I have a poster in my office, it says

"You made your point. now shut up, anything you say from now on can only hurt you"

on that spirit, I am shutting up.

[Skeetjones]

See the thing about Thailand is it needs to be Thailand, I think the Thai people cater enough to foreign needs and with open arms.

Honestly it helps both sides out, it brings the Thai people money and a new experience for foreigners.

Learn to adapt to the culture and suck it up if your having a bad day. Thai people as a whole will always be Thai people there is no changing that.

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect Thailand

[wym]

Just one choir would have been impressive enough, but more than one going at the same time?

Next performance of Handel's Messiah do please let us know. . .

[MrWorldwide]

Yourauntbob, can you honestly tell me Thai makes Indian food seem 'bland and dull', and that you get no kick from Szechuan cuisine ?

[yourauntbob]

The OP has found and stays with a beautiful wife,and he is very lucky.There are real "gems" out there just waiting to be found and it can make all the difference to being happy or unhappy here.

Thai culture is here to be "understood" not changed.When we come to live here we should accept this and mold ourselves around this.This way can help us be happy here.

On the other hand if we have landed ourselves in an unhappy relationship this can sour our view of everything else here in thailand.

Just my 2 bobs worth.

i realize i cant change it, this is why i post about it. to vent, to get it off my chest, to keep myself from getting to the point i overflow with rage. that was the whole point of this post, "why do people stay in thailand if they like to complain so much"

[yourauntbob]

Yourauntbob, can you honestly tell me Thai makes Indian food seem 'bland and dull', and that you get no kick from Szechuan cuisine ?

a bit of exaggeration.... i was trying to make a point.

and i do think indian food has plenty of flavor.

[Sam Gold]

Well done, Yourauntbob. Points well made.

Although you've left out what the true source of problems is in this country, which is that men aren't taught to act responsibly and women are taught to live with it. A lot of men in their 30's and 40's behave like teenagers and that is the main reason why this country is going nowhere.

What you have mentioned is true, but they are merely charming cultural quirks to me.