Is Thai Society Bereft of Social Skills?

[Halion]

It would all depend on the class of people involved, the lower the class the lower the social skills, same in every country.

Wrong, little to do with "class" as you put it. I know several people who you would deem upper class and their is little difference.

It is far more to do with education, and subsequent understanding or lack thereof..

[laobali]

 

Or as a woman once said on a BBC documentary about her "British" accent

Pleeese!! Call it a Cockney accent, but please do not call it a British accent. I speak with a British accent, as does HM Queen Elizabeth,as did Lord Mountbatten... That is a British accent - everything else is a regional English (and often unintelligable) accent

Simon

Don't you mean English accent? I thought Britain included Scotland and Wales.

[cooked]

I remember saying good morning to somebody and being told ' we don't do that here'. 'Uddersfield, Uk. At least I got an answer.

[Docno]

Thing is, we choose to move to Thailand instead of staying in our own heavenly countries where all is so perfect, I wonder why that is ?

Maybe all is not so well in farangland.

in other words...if you dont like it go home....easy again....but a predictable post.

Sure, but no-one every provides a convincing answer to what is an eminently reasonable question (which is why it is repeatedly asked). Instead, the post is dismissed as 'predictable' or the person asking the question is denigrated. All I can add to this is that I've known several people who have moved to a country they've ended up not liking and they have decided to move on (usually, though not always, back to their home country). Seems to be a different kettle of fish from much of the TV crowd. I think for people who like this place, it's hard to understand why someone who seems to hate it so much would choose to stay here. [i'm not referring to you or the OP, but the more rabid haters]. Isn't that logical?

[thailiketoo]

Thing is, we choose to move to Thailand instead of staying in our own heavenly countries where all is so perfect, I wonder why that is ?

Maybe all is not so well in farangland.

You can count on some <deleted> coming in with a facile comment such as yours. The original post merely points out glaring differences in the social culture which are common all over this country..

Based on my experience you are the <deleted>. Everybody talks to me. Everybody knows who I am. It even freaks out my Thai wife that she has to tell taxi drivers to go to the Farang's house instead of them remembering her.

Everybody asks me how long I've been here and how did I get such a good looking dog and what am I going to eat for lunch. I used to live in NYC and no one knew my name or cared anything about what I ate for lunch.

[Ajaan]

No social skills in comparison to what cultures? Ever been to south-east Chicago? Some of the rudest, non-stop swearing, ghetto trash in the entire world.

I find Thai social skills are closely related to their place in society. The poor, dirty Thais working in a local market (many times from Isaan) have a loud, harsh, angry voice and swear often while the higher class, Mercedes driving people are soft spoken, polite and clean.

Same in many other countries. The wealthy are the clean, well spoken and well mannered set while the poor are the angry, dirty and prone to violence.

So, poor people are dark, dirty and loud, eh? People who live in "ghettos" are "trash"? Lao people (as opposed to Thais) are "loud, harsh and angry?"

The resident Super Racist of TV strikes again. Why don't you just go back to your isolated mountain shack with your sister/wife and shotgun and leave the rest of us to have semi-civilized discussions?

[benalibina]

Thing is, we choose to move to Thailand instead of staying in our own heavenly countries where all is so perfect, I wonder why that is ?

Maybe all is not so well in farangland.

You can count on some <deleted> coming in with a facile comment such as yours. The original post merely points out glaring differences in the social culture which are common all over this country..

Based on my experience you are the <deleted>. Everybody talks to me. Everybody knows who I am. It even freaks out my Thai wife that she has to tell taxi drivers to go to the Farang's house instead of them remembering her.

Everybody asks me how long I've been here and how did I get such a good looking dog and what am I going to eat for lunch. I used to live in NYC and no one knew my name or cared anything about what I ate for lunch.

Hmmm...good to read that from being an insignificant noname in NYC you have become the farang, who everybody knows, as "being the farang??, in your local area. There is hope for many !!

[Docno]

I think others have already made this point in different ways.... But it's my suspicion that when you refer to 'the rest of the world' what you really mean is your home country or perhaps western Europe and North America. Some of the things you describe I've seen in other Asian countries. (Others, I haven't seen in my Thai circle ... my gf and her friends are always yabbering and I have great conversations with my Thai architect buddy and his friend --- I find these folks often more considerate and friendly than people in other countries).

Yes, there are differences. If I'm in a lift in my condo and a white guy walks in, he will say hello for some reason. Maybe even do some weather talk. An Asian will generally not do this. Now you may see this as lacking in social graces because that's how you define socially appropriate behaviour. It's not what's expected in many Asian cultures I suspect, and one perspective is not more right than the other. In fact, after living in this part of the world for 15 years, I often wish the stranger-farang would not try to strike up a conversation in the lift because it feels as if it's a social compulsion for him, and I don't see the point of it. Maybe I've started to develop Asian social graces. You would say that's a lack of social grace.

Edited January 29, 2014 by Docno

[recycler]

I find Thais are only really comfortable in their peer group. Same social class being most important then perhaps age and gender and then regional origin. They just feel awkward like a fish out of water outside of their peer group. Good example is any Thai gone to a foreign country, apart from any foreign spouse, all their friends are Thai and the only place many will work is a Thai restaurant. Their culture only allows them to feel truly comfortable with other Thais. Another example, stick a northerner in a shop with a load of Isaan workers, odds are northerner if alone will not like it and seek to leave. Put a working class Thai in a situation with middle class Thais. Middle class Thais will condescend, the working class Thai will seek an exit pronto. Many examples like this. The divisions in Thai society are quite wide and difficult for Thais to overcome on a personal level.

Exactly right, but it keeps feeling awkward even after living here for 10 years. The very strict caste system in Thailand is one of the most negative elements in society that I experience here and this greeting thing is only one of the more innocent effects of it.

Spending 2 weeks in the UK last year was very refreshing when strangers say good morning when you meet them on the stairs in the hotel or in shops and hold a door open and you can do the same without them thinking that you want to have sex with them or so! Specially the first week in an old fashioned spa hotel in Buxton was amazing, just to overhear the polite conversations going on at the reception and breakfast room, I really miss that in in Thailand!

[tyler2208]

Thai's are bought up to be polite in area's which are deemed important, i.e showing respect based on status etc, taking ones shoes off when entering another persons home.

These social graces are ingrained in thai's from a young age and is almost a reflex action to some extent.

Often when what can be deemed as rude behaviour is displayed, it is in situations that requires the ability to act accordingly in situations outside of the "running on auto pilot mentallity", where being aware of surroundings and what is going on around them are used to determine how one should conduct themselves.

Thai's can be very very selfish and self absorbed at times. Especially when dealing/interacting with strangers outide the workplace etc.

This can be witnessed in the ways thai's drive or even walk at times, with a blatent disregard for other road uses or people around them.

There is not a thai out there that does not realise it is rude to push in line, so why do they do it? various reasons, such as, sense of entitlement, or just not carring how their actions make others feel or caring how other people will percieve them, I do also believe there are some that are just so self absorbed that they dont stop to pay attention to their present enviroment, i.s pause to see of there is a line of people waiting before them.

As some have stated on here, thai's will often conduct themselves based on status etc, this is true to a certain extent, however can not be used as an excuse for bad manners.

For all the appologists out there that constantly feel the need to defend thai's rude selfish behaviour at any cost, by trying to dress it up as "thai culture" etc, you are the worst kind of people.

I am a farang, but I was raised here, went to school here, have full thai nationality, I am adopted by thai's, raised by thai's and have been raised with manners. I have been bought up with thai culture, rather than just try and "pick it up"

It makes me sick everytime a stupid appologist opens his mouth on this forum, usually your comments and opinions are so far off the mark its laughable, yet you have the nerve to tell other posters in this forum that they just don't understand thai culture. You are pathetic, the way you constantly infect this forum with your obssesive need to protect and defend all that is thai.

Often the whole "Thai culture" term is grossly over used and grossly over exgagerated by people here.

Thailand of course has its own culture, but it is no big mystery and is certainly not the reason behind so many things, as the appologists would have you believe.

If you want a good example of this, here is one: farangs that pay a million baht dowry to marry a rice farmers peasent daughter, or ex bar girl and then tells everyone it's ok because its "thai culture".

When thai's tell a farang "you dont underatand thai culture" what they are really saying is i cant be bothered to explain my actions, or i have no excuse for the my bad behaviour or bad manners or sheer laziness and all the appologists here just fuel the fire everytime they talk the same nonsence.

thai's are generally very selfish and this is often displayed in the way they conduct themselves on a day to day basis, outside the realms of knowing who to wai and when.

When selfishness dictates the way we behave, then it's rude in any culture.

Nobody likes to wait in line, but we do it because it is polite to wait our turn.

For those who have lived here along time and have a real understanding of how things are here,

will know that almost everything here is SHOW!

It would be accurate to say that generally Thai's are a rude race trying to pretend not to be. Some of them are just better at it than others.

[CIHUAHUA]

It would all depend on the class of people involved, the lower the class the lower the social skills, same in every country.

No that is not true. The higher classes in Thailand and China are even worse than the lower classes. They seem to feel they have more of an edge on people. Just look at what is happening in Thai politics. I know you want to be PC but the facts are the facts.

[CIHUAHUA]

Thing is, we choose to move to Thailand instead of staying in our own heavenly countries where all is so perfect, I wonder why that is ?

Maybe all is not so well in farangland.

Speak for yourself - Maybe you have an axe to grind about your country of origin but social skills like being polite should be a universal after all the ones that are not trained to have social skills still want you to have em.

[thailiketoo]

Thing is, we choose to move to Thailand instead of staying in our own heavenly countries where all is so perfect, I wonder why that is ?

Maybe all is not so well in farangland.

You can count on some <deleted> coming in with a facile comment such as yours. The original post merely points out glaring differences in the social culture which are common all over this country..

Based on my experience you are the <deleted>. Everybody talks to me. Everybody knows who I am. It even freaks out my Thai wife that she has to tell taxi drivers to go to the Farang's house instead of them remembering her.

Everybody asks me how long I've been here and how did I get such a good looking dog and what am I going to eat for lunch. I used to live in NYC and no one knew my name or cared anything about what I ate for lunch.

Hmmm...good to read that from being an insignificant noname in NYC you have become the farang, who everybody knows, as "being the farang??, in your local area. There is hope for many !!

I wrote about it before but it is worth repeating. An older woman was sitting across from me on a song tau with her granddaughter. She got off the vehicle and went into a convenience store and bought me a tea to drink. She assumed I didn't speak Thai and tried to converse with me a bit in English.

Her granddaughter then asked her in Thai why she bought me a drink and she said because I was a guest in her country and she wanted to make me feel at home.

I know you are trying to be sarcastic and probably labor under the impression Farang is a negative instead of neutral word in Thailand. I doubt if there is hope for you. Seems to me people are treated here they way they treat others. People are nice to me because I'm nice to them so for me Farang is a positive word. I would imagine you treat people less than nicely so for you Farang is a negative word.

This Sunday I'm going to see a Farang monk in a well known Thai temple. He is known as the Farang monk. Everyone wais him and respects him and calls him the Farang monk when they are speaking English.

[jacksam]

Have you considered that it may be you that has no social skills ? You cling to your home culture and are incapable of even attempting to adapt to another culture. You don't even have any perception that the problems may be caused by you. Try to remember that the way things are done in Thailand by the Thais is the correct way to do things. Your way is not the correct way.

[Docno]

<snip>

Spending 2 weeks in the UK last year was very refreshing when strangers say good morning when you meet them on the stairs in the hotel or in shops and hold a door open and you can do the same without them thinking that you want to have sex with them or so! Specially the first week in an old fashioned spa hotel in Buxton was amazing, just to overhear the polite conversations going on at the reception and breakfast room, I really miss that in in Thailand!

"was very refreshing when strangers say good morning when you meet them on the stairs"

This reinforces my suspicions about what may be going on here. I think if someone is a 'western-style extrovert' -- i.e., a person who is voluble, goes out of their way to talk to strangers, expresses a lot of enthusiasm, is a little 'loud' and 'in your face', etc etc -- they will have a hard time adapting to Thailand (and much of southeast and east Asia). Bull in the China shop. [Yes, I'm talking in extremes here to make the point]. More introverted westerners may get along just fine. In fact, they may feel more at home in a place where strangers don't talk to you as if they're long-time friends, where people are less boisterous, etc etc. But extrovert will see these people as 'odd' or lacking social graces. The fact is, the social norms and preferences are simply different. They work for some people and not others. Some cultures are more 'extroverted' and some more 'introverted'.

[in my case, while I was born in Australia, I still find it disconcerting and uncomfortable when complete strangers start up conversations and talk as if we've been mates for years... like the cab driver I had who went on an expletive filled rant (in a Greek accent, I think) about all the 'Arabs taking their jobs'].

[Ruin]

We have to know that cultures are different, very different. There are hardly any worldwide expectations. What's the norm in one zone is not in another. Live with it or choose your preferred zone.

I understand the lack of thank yous and goodbyes, it seems common, so when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Y'aint gonna change it.

On average i find living here more pleasant than the atmosphere in China, HK, Singapore, Kuwait or Mumbai. The business acumen is poor, but the general feeling of being here is fine.

[tyler2208]

Thing is, we choose to move to Thailand instead of staying in our own heavenly countries where all is so perfect, I wonder why that is ?

Maybe all is not so well in farangland.

You can count on some &lt;deleted&gt; coming in with a facile comment such as yours. The original post merely points out glaring differences in the social culture which are common all over this country..

Based on my experience you are the &lt;deleted&gt;. Everybody talks to me. Everybody knows who I am. It even freaks out my Thai wife that she has to tell taxi drivers to go to the Farang's house instead of them remembering her.

Everybody asks me how long I've been here and how did I get such a good looking dog and what am I going to eat for lunch. I used to live in NYC and no one knew my name or cared anything about what I ate for lunch.

Hmmm...good to read that from being an insignificant noname in NYC you have become the farang, who everybody knows, as "being the farang??, in your local area. There is hope for many !!

I wrote about it before but it is worth repeating. An older woman was sitting across from me on a song tau with her granddaughter. She got off the vehicle and went into a convenience store and bought me a tea to drink. She assumed I didn't speak Thai and tried to converse with me a bit in English.

Her granddaughter then asked her in Thai why she bought me a drink and she said because I was a guest in her country and she wanted to make me feel at home.

I know you are trying to be sarcastic and probably labor under the impression Farang is a negative instead of neutral word in Thailand. I doubt if there is hope for you. Seems to me people are treated here they way they treat others. People are nice to me because I'm nice to them so for me Farang is a positive word. I would imagine you treat people less than nicely so for you Farang is a negative word.

This Sunday I'm going to see a Farang monk in a well known Thai temple. He is known as the Farang monk. Everyone wais him and respects him and calls him the Farang monk when they are speaking English.

your missing the point, it is because he is a monk that he gets the respect, not because he is a farang, the fact that henis a farang monk (which is quite rare here) makes him a novelty.

Do you think if he was just a farang in the moo baan everyone would walk around waiing him?

and people are usually nice to people who are nice to them, you are correct, but the post was about the general bad manners displayed by thai's on a regualr basis i.e

line cutting

pushing in

not saying thank you when holding the door open for them

[gandalf12]

The Thais I know are great but think of this, maybe they are a little shy to speak to a foreigner as they may not speak good English and the foreigner may look down on them for this.

How would you feel approaching say a Russian in public and speaking to them only to find they had no idea what was being said? It could be a little embarrassing. Thailand has very strict class structure and the slightest hint of making a mistake could bring ridicule on the offender.

[Ruin]

Docno, understand your feelings in the UK, those guys are so nice to strangers and strike up small talk. It's a national thing. I like the carefree attitude in Italy, where people don't seem to be after your money, I like the lay back and drink sangria way in Spain and the Arabic eat, talk about families, we will do business tomorrow attitude or the Singaporean way of getting down to business immediately. They all have their good points, but they only happen in their countries, not in each others. Can't expect that.

[tyler2208]

Thing is, we choose to move to Thailand instead of staying in our own heavenly countries where all is so perfect, I wonder why that is ?

Maybe all is not so well in farangland.

You can count on some &lt;deleted&gt; coming in with a facile comment such as yours. The original post merely points out glaring differences in the social culture which are common all over this country..

Based on my experience you are the &lt;deleted&gt;. Everybody talks to me. Everybody knows who I am. It even freaks out my Thai wife that she has to tell taxi drivers to go to the Farang's house instead of them remembering her.

Everybody asks me how long I've been here and how did I get such a good looking dog and what am I going to eat for lunch. I used to live in NYC and no one knew my name or cared anything about what I ate for lunch.

Hmmm...good to read that from being an insignificant noname in NYC you have become the farang, who everybody knows, as "being the farang??, in your local area. There is hope for many !!

I wrote about it before but it is worth repeating. An older woman was sitting across from me on a song tau with her granddaughter. She got off the vehicle and went into a convenience store and bought me a tea to drink. She assumed I didn't speak Thai and tried to converse with me a bit in English.

Her granddaughter then asked her in Thai why she bought me a drink and she said because I was a guest in her country and she wanted to make me feel at home.

I know you are trying to be sarcastic and probably labor under the impression Farang is a negative instead of neutral word in Thailand. I doubt if there is hope for you. Seems to me people are treated here they way they treat others. People are nice to me because I'm nice to them so for me Farang is a positive word. I would imagine you treat people less than nicely so for you Farang is a negative word.

This Sunday I'm going to see a Farang monk in a well known Thai temple. He is known as the Farang monk. Everyone wais him and respects him and calls him the Farang monk when they are speaking English.

your missing the point, it is because he is a monk that he gets the respect, not because he is a farang, the fact that henis a farang monk (which is quite rare here) makes him a novelty.

Do you think if he was just a farang in the moo baan everyone would walk around waiing him?

and people are usually nice to people who are nice to them, you are correct, but the post was about the general bad manners displayed by thai's on a regualr basis i.e

line cutting

pushing in

not saying thank you when holding the door open for them

[thailiketoo]

I wrote about it before but it is worth repeating. An older woman was sitting across from me on a song tau with her granddaughter. She got off the vehicle and went into a convenience store and bought me a tea to drink. She assumed I didn't speak Thai and tried to converse with me a bit in English.

Her granddaughter then asked her in Thai why she bought me a drink and she said because I was a guest in her country and she wanted to make me feel at home.

I know you are trying to be sarcastic and probably labor under the impression Farang is a negative instead of neutral word in Thailand. I doubt if there is hope for you. Seems to me people are treated here they way they treat others. People are nice to me because I'm nice to them so for me Farang is a positive word. I would imagine you treat people less than nicely so for you Farang is a negative word.

This Sunday I'm going to see a Farang monk in a well known Thai temple. He is known as the Farang monk. Everyone wais him and respects him and calls him the Farang monk when they are speaking English.

your missing the point, it is because he is a monk that he gets the respect, not because he is a farang, the fact that henis a farang monk (which is quite rare here) makes him a novelty.

Do you think if he was just a farang in the moo baan everyone would walk around waiing him?

and people are usually nice to people who are nice to them, you are correct, but the post was about the general bad manners displayed by thai's on a regualr basis i.e

line cutting

pushing in

not saying thank you when holding the door open for them

No, you are missing the point. He is respected because he is a monk and identified by the word Farang which is a neutral word. If he was blue he would be called the blue monk. There is a really tall monk in Thailand and he is called the tall monk. I don't live in a tourist area like Bangkok or NYC. People don't cut in or push or not say thank you. That is why I live here.

Edited January 29, 2014 by thailiketoo

[tyler2208]

I can only recount my personal experiences. I have always found the Thais that I know to be the most perfect company and perfect hosts. I and the wife were at a party a while back, the only farangs there. We were told to park in an area where we were then met and shown across the busy road by a junior member of the family. At the end of the evening, where we had been listening to music and singing karaoke etc, and having great discussions on all manner of topics, we were shown down from the house and across the busy road again personally by the host. I can't imagine that ever happening in the UK, unless we were royalty, which we ain't!

what your describing is service and showmanship, the host of the party was a good host...

what you are describing is not much different than checking into a good hotel and the porter or bell boy bringing your luggage up to the room and back down again when you check out.

the op is about everyday behavior/manners... big difference

[dotpoom]

I think you cannot give what you haven't got,..... what I mean is....if you have never been taught how to socialize then it would be natural to have difficulty in this area. My wife says that in the countryside parents are too busy going out early in the mornings to the rice fields and coming home late in the evening, to teach their children about "moriat" socializing. Anyway, I presume, they cannot teach what they do not know themselves either....that is not a criticism, just a simple truth..People from different backgrounds behave differently.

On the other hand, I get far more upset when I get treated with positive rudeness by people from one particular Farang country (that is often criticized here). I come from a country that is known worldwide for it's friendly and helpful natives so when I see a situation where i think I might be of assistance i usually volunteer to to something (without a "butting in" action) it is simply a reaction, I do it without even thinking about it, it's like it's automatic. Yesterday I was in the food court in Big C and two people came in and I could see that they did not know how the system worked, like lodging money first for your coupon and then getting your food yourself. Their children wanted drinks also, they sat down at a table and looked like they were waiting for a waitress to come over to them, so I went over to them and tried to show them what to do but both the husband and wife looked at me as if i was trying to borrow money off them and turned their back on me. (I dress well most times so I didn't look like a beggar). A few day ago I was again sitting at a table eating with my wife and a man and a woman from the same country sat down at our table in Jomtien market and ordered food. While they were waiting for it i pointed to the water container where they could get two glasses of water if they wished....the same reaction as the other two....it was almost like a "How dare you talk to us" attitude...."Can you not see that we are superior beings", 555., you gotta laugh at it I suppose. I get angry though (I know I shouldn't) and my wife says I should stop trying to help..."Why" i ask her, "Would you rather I was like them"......... "No" she says...."You should stop because it makes you angry"......I can see why that is logical to her....maybe this is another reason why Thais are as you describe (but i doubt it, not sure though). I do wonder why that particular race of people are so rude. i don't wish to mention what country it is but if you don't already know then it's best left that way.

[tyler2208]

I wrote about it before but it is worth repeating. An older woman was sitting across from me on a song tau with her granddaughter. She got off the vehicle and went into a convenience store and bought me a tea to drink. She assumed I didn't speak Thai and tried to converse with me a bit in English.

Her granddaughter then asked her in Thai why she bought me a drink and she said because I was a guest in her country and she wanted to make me feel at home.

I know you are trying to be sarcastic and probably labor under the impression Farang is a negative instead of neutral word in Thailand. I doubt if there is hope for you. Seems to me people are treated here they way they treat others. People are nice to me because I'm nice to them so for me Farang is a positive word. I would imagine you treat people less than nicely so for you Farang is a negative word.

This Sunday I'm going to see a Farang monk in a well known Thai temple. He is known as the Farang monk. Everyone wais him and respects him and calls him the Farang monk when they are speaking English.

your missing the point, it is because he is a monk that he gets the respect, not because he is a farang, the fact that henis a farang monk (which is quite rare here) makes him a novelty.

Do you think if he was just a farang in the moo baan everyone would walk around waiing him?

and people are usually nice to people who are nice to them, you are correct, but the post was about the general bad manners displayed by thai's on a regualr basis i.e

line cutting

pushing in

not saying thank you when holding the door open for them

No, you are missing the point. He is respected because he is a monk and identified by the word Farang which is a neutral word. If he was blue he would be called the blue monk. There is a really tall monk in Thailand and he is called the tall monk. I don't live in a tourist area like Bangkok or NYC. People don't cut in or push or not say thank you. That is why I live here.

No your still missing the point, it has nothing to do with him being a farang or not, i used the term farang because you did, but the reason people why him and show him respect is because he is a monk! nothing else..

my point was, if he was just a farang residing in a moo baan (not a monk) people would not walk around waiing him all the time.

You say that where you live nobody cuts the line, or nobody does not say thank you, so if you have not experienced this behavior, why are you posting here?

you obviously have nothing to offer this topic!

I could be wrong, but I am assuming you live in the countryside, where there are less people, less lines to stand in and probably less doors to hold open for people, hence the reason you have not experienced this kind of behavior.

However many people do experience this first hand! and that is what this post is about.

If it something that does not happened to you, thus does not affect you, then why are you posting on a subject that you have no experience to offer! are you bored...

or are you suggesting that because you have not experienced this in your village, then it cant be true?

the other option is everyone can move to where you live, but then there would be long lines that some thai's WILL try and cut, there will be pushing and more doors to hold open for people that wont say thank you.

You are the only one in this topic discussing the word "farang" and if it is a neutral word or not.

nobody else has mentioned it. ไอ้ฝรั่ง is that neutral?

[tyler2208]

I wrote about it before but it is worth repeating. An older woman was sitting across from me on a song tau with her granddaughter. She got off the vehicle and went into a convenience store and bought me a tea to drink. She assumed I didn't speak Thai and tried to converse with me a bit in English.

Her granddaughter then asked her in Thai why she bought me a drink and she said because I was a guest in her country and she wanted to make me feel at home.

I know you are trying to be sarcastic and probably labor under the impression Farang is a negative instead of neutral word in Thailand. I doubt if there is hope for you. Seems to me people are treated here they way they treat others. People are nice to me because I'm nice to them so for me Farang is a positive word. I would imagine you treat people less than nicely so for you Farang is a negative word.

This Sunday I'm going to see a Farang monk in a well known Thai temple. He is known as the Farang monk. Everyone wais him and respects him and calls him the Farang monk when they are speaking English.

your missing the point, it is because he is a monk that he gets the respect, not because he is a farang, the fact that henis a farang monk (which is quite rare here) makes him a novelty.

Do you think if he was just a farang in the moo baan everyone would walk around waiing him?

and people are usually nice to people who are nice to them, you are correct, but the post was about the general bad manners displayed by thai's on a regualr basis i.e

line cutting

pushing in

not saying thank you when holding the door open for them

No, you are missing the point. He is respected because he is a monk and identified by the word Farang which is a neutral word. If he was blue he would be called the blue monk. There is a really tall monk in Thailand and he is called the tall monk. I don't live in a tourist area like Bangkok or NYC. People don't cut in or push or not say thank you. That is why I live here.

No your still missing the point, it has nothing to do with him being a farang or not, i used the term farang because you did, but the reason people why him and show him respect is because he is a monk! nothing else..

my point was, if he was just a farang residing in a moo baan (not a monk) people would not walk around waiing him all the time.

You say that where you live nobody cuts the line, or nobody does not say thank you, so if you have not experienced this behavior, why are you posting here?

you obviously have nothing to offer this topic!

I could be wrong, but I am assuming you live in the countryside, where there are less people, less lines to stand in and probably less doors to hold open for people, hence the reason you have not experienced this kind of behavior.

However many people do experience this first hand! and that is what this post is about.

If it something that does not happened to you, thus does not affect you, then why are you posting on a subject that you have no experience to offer! are you bored...

or are you suggesting that because you have not experienced this in your village, then it cant be true?

the other option is everyone can move to where you live, but then there would be long lines that some thai's WILL try and cut, there will be pushing and more doors to hold open for people that wont say thank you.

You are the only one in this topic discussing the word "farang" and if it is a neutral word or not.

nobody else has mentioned it. ไอ้ฝรั่ง is that neutral?

[fredKroket]

No social skills in comparison to what cultures? Ever been to south-east Chicago? Some of the rudest, non-stop swearing, ghetto trash in the entire world.

I find Thai social skills are closely related to their place in society. The poor, dirty Thais working in a local market (many times from Isaan) have a loud, harsh, angry voice and swear often while the higher class, Mercedes driving people are soft spoken, polite and clean.

Same in many other countries. The wealthy are the clean, well spoken and well mannered set while the poor are the angry, dirty and prone to violence.

So, poor people are dark, dirty and loud, eh? People who live in "ghettos" are "trash"? Lao people (as opposed to Thais) are "loud, harsh and angry?"

The resident Super Racist of TV strikes again. Why don't you just go back to your isolated mountain shack with your sister/wife and shotgun and leave the rest of us to have semi-civilized discussions?

Whereustay, how would you account for the nouveau riche in Thailand? Believe me there are many of them. Imagine a farmer or land owner, the land has been in the familt for generations, it cost a pittance back then. Suddenly a property developer comes along and gives Mr. Ban Nok 100 million baht for his piece of dirt and he becomes a dollar millionaire three times over. Do you think Mr. Ban Nok is going to change over night and enter the higher echelons of Thai Hi-Society? For god sake man, he will stay the same, cussing, swearing, eating from a noodle stand, opening the car door to yack out a greeny. Don't for a moment think that just because they have money, they have class because they don't and class together with polite manners cannot be bought, it's bred into you.

[Gandtee]

When I first came to Thailand and attended social gatherings, I often used to return home and ask my wife ' who was that we were talking to all evening?'. Now I have become the aggressor as it were, and say 'My name is - - - - -, what is your name? Quite often the request is met with a little embarrassment, Thai natural aversion to head on attitudes I suspect, but then the Ice is broken and everything is ticketyboo. With regard to addiction to the mobile phone or whatever, I think any gathering is plagued by that and it is just a case of ignorance and a lack of manners albeit Thai or farang.

[falangadang]

They are not generally taught manners at school or at home and therein lies the problem.

Yes there's a Gen X thing about them being preoccupied with mobile phones and having a "Me Me Me" outlook on life but in Thailand I've noticed a prevailing attitude of "well this works for me",.. particularly as that relates to queues at the ATM or 711 and of course driving on the roads.

Just one of those things you have to make allowances for! Mae Mee Bpen Har!

[abhaya]

The scenario the OP is describing could be anyplace in the developed world. IMO.

Edited January 29, 2014 by abhaya

[atyclb]

i get the feeling thai's often dont think or care about others; thai or farang

i was getting some photocopying done this afternoon. the road outside was jammed with traffic but there was plenty of room for motorcycles to pass by the cars. however the motorcyclists were riding up and down the pavement which was also being used by children going home from the nearby school as well as other pedestrians.

when i'm on the bus i can guarantee that i am the first, and often only, person to give up their seat to an elderly or pregnant passenger. i have often seen both having to stand on buses. i've even seen parents carrying babies having to stand.

get doors slammed in my face all the time

people step out of doorways and side street right in front of me; am i invisible?

people, strangely often female late teen/20's, walk straight into me in the street - i make the 50% evasive move they do nothing. crash

dont know whether many thais are deliberately rude, don't know any better, are simply incapable of thinking of/caring about others or lack the confidence/personality to take proactive action.

My circle of thai friends are also pissed at these things, especially the people that walk into you, into your path, walk very slowly impeding others, stop and block others, walk into to you exiting a train,etc etc.

To me this suggests a serious lack of very basic cognitive function, not even approaching the realm of critical thinking. my thai friend that did a masters in the uk used to call them "zombies" until she concluded from movies that zombies walk better, she now calls them retards, but not in a malicious way.