Should you accept her Children as part of the package?

[BookMan]

It's beyond me how anyone would assume a thai woman over the age of, say, 25, might not have any children. It's almost a given fact. So I have no sympathy for the OP's "freind", for salvating for three months, and then being surprised by two children. It is, and has always been, all or nothing.

Some people really shouldn't leave their country.

...additionally, women(and men also),are fishing for a good partner. They will use their best bait. Photo's with smiles and happy friends. They will not show you their baggage. But there will be baggage. There is always baggage.

Plenty of Thai women over 25 don't have children

[BookMan]

Perhaps a poll...........

Speak to jingthing. I gave him all my exclusive polling rights.

[transam]

It's beyond me how anyone would assume a thai woman over the age of, say, 25, might not have any children. It's almost a given fact. So I have no sympathy for the OP's "freind", for salvating for three months, and then being surprised by two children. It is, and has always been, all or nothing.

Some people really shouldn't leave their country.

...additionally, women(and men also),are fishing for a good partner. They will use their best bait. Photo's with smiles and happy friends. They will not show you their baggage. But there will be baggage. There is always baggage.

Plenty of Thai women over 25 don't have children

Correct, they are with grandma.........

[Showbags]

Does he have sight problems ?

What about the stretch marks ?

While it is possible to have kids and not have them....it takes some effort and money to achieve....both of which I doubt she would have done.

or was it all towel and lights off kinda stuff...like I do.

I don't belive he can see the stretch marks when being online with her. When he meet her she had already told him

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

The plot thickens....

So he went ahead anyway knowing about the kids.....seems while thinking with the horny little head he was ok with it.

[BookMan]

Does he have sight problems ?

What about the stretch marks ?

While it is possible to have kids and not have them....it takes some effort and money to achieve....both of which I doubt she would have done.

or was it all towel and lights off kinda stuff...like I do.

I don't belive he can see the stretch marks when being online with her. When he meet her she had already told him

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

The plot thickens....

So he went ahead anyway knowing about the kids.....seems while thinking with the horny little head he was ok with it.

Come on, what is wrong with that? Love/Lust/infatuation drives most guys.

[larsjohnsson]

It's beyond me how anyone would assume a thai woman over the age of, say, 25, might not have any children. It's almost a given fact. So I have no sympathy for the OP's "freind", for salvating for three months, and then being surprised by two children. It is, and has always been, all or nothing.

Some people really shouldn't leave their country.

...additionally, women(and men also),are fishing for a good partner. They will use their best bait. Photo's with smiles and happy friends. They will not show you their baggage. But there will be baggage. There is always baggage.

Plenty of Thai women over 25 don't have children

Yes, but if they are 35 and have been married before. Then 99% of them will have children (if they can have children)

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[Robininbkk]

In Thailand, when you are a farang and she is a Thai women with kids, it is standard to have the farang have her kids as part of the whole deal. I understand that ''your friend'' does not want to be responsible for her kids future, financially. That's the first mistake you made, is to be a women with kids and ex bf/husband (bagage). So you should consider to dumb her and find a single lady, with no bagage.

As for the father of her kids, did you confirmed what she is telling you? that he is a cop? Most of the time these type of ladies tells you this to make you scared. To have some sort of leverage over you.

If you are serious about her and want to continue this relationship, thenyou should firstly check everything she's telling you is real or not. Starting with the cop father. It's real easy, all you need is his name, rank and department.

[BookMan]

In Thailand, when you are a farang and she is a Thai women with kids, it is standard to have the farang have her kids as part of the whole deal. I understand that ''your friend'' does not want to be responsible for her kids future, financially. That's the first mistake you made, is to be a women with kids and ex bf/husband (bagage). So you should consider to dumb her and find a single lady, with no bagage.

As for the father of her kids, did you confirmed what she is telling you? that he is a cop? Most of the time these type of ladies tells you this to make you scared. To have some sort of leverage over you.

If you are serious about her and want to continue this relationship, thenyou should firstly check everything she's telling you is real or not. Starting with the cop father. It's real easy, all you need is his name, rank and department.

Thanks for the answer robininbkk

For the fourth time this thread let me clarify: It is not ME my OP refers to.

I am also asking a general question about such a situation of accepting and becoming responsible for a partner's children, not about this particular woman's honesty or possible hidden intentions

[benalibina]

Who fysically takes care of the kids on day to day basis ?

[BookMan]

Who fysically takes care of the kids on day to day basis ?

Currently? She must do mate. She has a hairdressing business. The ex contributes a minimal amount on an irregular basis. When or how the ex pays I have no idea

[benalibina]

Who fysically takes care of the kids on day to day basis ?

Currently? She must do mate. She has a hairdressing business. The ex contributes a minimal amount on an irregular basis. When or how the ex pays I have no idea

Well at least she has not dumped the kids at a familymember. Thats a good thing. If i was your friend, who is serious to continue with her, i would wait and see what effort his gf makes to get a bond together between kids and ur friend. No effort....he is only seen as a cashcow.

[i claudius]

When i was a lot younger i was a single father with a child ,my new wife took on both of us ,and why not ,should the mother abandon her children? i would never have abandoned mine.

[Ricky from Brisbane]

Yeah your friend is on the right track by saying he'll just help out with the living costs and dont forget that rent is another cost the girlfriend wont have anymore so that helps her too and she has a business so she can pay other stuff that comes up. How much other expense can there be anyway? It isnt like stuff is expensive in thailandt. I can see where the bloke wouldnt want to pay for everything when the father is around and earning. if the girlfriend wasnt doing her own business the money thing might be different or maybe not

[Showbags]

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Does he have sight problems ?

What about the stretch marks ?

While it is possible to have kids and not have them....it takes some effort and money to achieve....both of which I doubt she would have done.

or was it all towel and lights off kinda stuff...like I do.

I don't belive he can see the stretch marks when being online with her. When he meet her she had already told him

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

The plot thickens....

So he went ahead anyway knowing about the kids.....seems while thinking with the horny little head he was ok with it.

Come on, what is wrong with that? Love/Lust/infatuation drives most guys.

Nawt wrong with it at all.....has driven me many a time.

But....if he knew about the kids beforehand and carried on....then complaining about some possible responsibility for the kids later is a bit much.

If you take on a relationship...a serious one...with a &lt;deleted&gt;...then the kids especially at that age under 10...have to be part of the package.

It is a no brainer in this country that an ex thai dad will not give a toss about kids in the future...so you take it or leave it.

Having said that, he should be no more responsible for them than she and if she is expecting that, then tell her to take a hike....but doubt she is, if she has not dumped her kids elsewhere and cares for them everyday herself....she must have some decency about her and I think she would be meaning 'together'...to take care of her kids as their own and a family......maybe.

[Nautilus05]

Huh? Maybe I'm being stupid here, but of course the kids come with the package. What the hell?

Tell your friend to demand that she ship her kids off to an orphanage, and let me know how that turns out.

[larsjohnsson]

In Thailand, when you are a farang and she is a Thai women with kids, it is standard to have the farang have her kids as part of the whole deal. .

What country is it not standard that if you like to live with a woman with kids, they are a part of the whole deal??

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[benalibina]

In Thailand, when you are a farang and she is a Thai women with kids, it is standard to have the farang have her kids as part of the whole deal. .

What country is it not standard that if you like to live with a woman with kids, they are a part of the whole deal??

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Whole...includes....financially 2, or primarily...i think he meant that.

[MrHammer]

I believe the correct term for such a situation is to be cuckolded. The father is there, why doesn't he pay? Can't you see how he has struck gold, fathered children, some clueless other guy pays for them?

And your friend met this woman for two weeks only and you call it a 6 month relationship?

Sometimes, I can't take the naivety of Thaivisa posters. It boggles my mind.

[BookMan]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Huh? Maybe I'm being stupid here, but of course the kids come with the package. What the hell?

Tell your friend to demand that she ship her kids off to an orphanage, and let me know how that turns out.

In Thailand, when you are a farang and she is a Thai women with kids, it is standard to have the farang have her kids as part of the whole deal. .

What country is it not standard that if you like to live with a woman with kids, they are a part of the whole deal??

Sent from my GT-I9152 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

In this situation the kids living with them is okay with him.

It is the level of financial support expected for the kids he disagrees with. He doesn't want to take the kids financial needs on as his responsibility

[ravip]

Obviously the mother and the children should be 'one package'

The sick buffaloes & the accessories can be kept out.

IMHO

[jpinx]

Obviously the mother and the children should be 'one package'

The sick buffaloes & the accessories can be kept out.

IMHO

you don't usually get to choose what your "contributions" will be used for ......

[Showbags]

Obviously the mother and the children should be 'one package'

The sick buffaloes & the accessories can be kept out.

IMHO

you don't usually get to choose what your "contributions" will be used for ......

Depends how pussy whipped you are...

[jpinx]

Even Rambo can not control everything

[Showbags]

In Thailand, when you are a farang and she is a Thai women with kids, it is standard to have the farang have her kids as part of the whole deal. I understand that ''your friend'' does not want to be responsible for her kids future, financially. That's the first mistake you made, is to be a women with kids and ex bf/husband (bagage). So you should consider to dumb her and find a single lady, with no bagage.

As for the father of her kids, did you confirmed what she is telling you? that he is a cop? Most of the time these type of ladies tells you this to make you scared. To have some sort of leverage over you.

If you are serious about her and want to continue this relationship, thenyou should firstly check everything she's telling you is real or not. Starting with the cop father. It's real easy, all you need is his name, rank and department.

Thanks for the answer robininbkk

For the fourth time this thread let me clarify: It is not ME my OP refers to.

I am also asking a general question about such a situation of accepting and becoming responsible for a partner's children, not about this particular woman's honesty or possible hidden intentions

Think you need more sincerity in your claims.

[anon11]

Kids....well if you know they are part of the "package " then think very carefully if you are not prepared to go the whole way with these kids then STOP now, these are kids love or hate it they are just kids they have not asked you to come into their lives they had no say whatsoever they little buggers they may be difficult to get on with at the start but just think how scary this is for them.

I believe us so called mature males have at sometime or another played silly games here with ladies but please don't do it with kids.

DO the right thing by them and they will give untold joy lots of laughs tears and on special time you get a hug and look that just say's THANKS but hta's kid's for you

[Nautilus05]

In this situation the kids living with them is okay with him.

It is the level of financial support expected for the kids he disagrees with. He doesn't want to take the kids financial needs on as his responsibility

Well, how exactly does your "friend" expect this to work out? He'll pay the rent, and buy the food, but his being a father ends there?

If he goes with her, he's taking the kids down the journey with him. They become a family of four, not a couple. That's just the way it works.

Do I really need to explain this?

[Showbags]

I agree...the OP may grow to love the kids and wish to pay for their international education and ipads....or he may just wish to take them to the crocodile farm for photo opportunities.

[BookMan]

In this situation the kids living with them is okay with him.

It is the level of financial support expected for the kids he disagrees with. He doesn't want to take the kids financial needs on as his responsibility

Well, how exactly does your "friend" expect this to work out? He'll pay the rent, and buy the food, but his being a father ends there?

If he goes with her, he's taking the kids down the journey with him. They become a family of four, not a couple. That's just the way it works.

Do I really need to explain this?

I have explained this a couple of times. He doesn't want to be their Father. They have a Father already.

'The way it works' is the point of the thread.

Does it have to work this way? Surely in these modern times of jumbled parentage and multiple marriages the old status quo is up for change?

[FiftyTwo]

Taking on another man's child?

Up to you and what you want really.

Nobody is forcing you to do anything, not sure if it would be right or wrong. But is it right or wrong for you.

At your age, you might want your own children, in which case this woman isn't the one for you.

Plenty of choice of women in Thailand.

Personally, I would take on one, if I was assured of having more of my own.

Which I did, and we did.

Not sure I would want a woman who hid the fact she had children from me at the start, seems like false pretenses to me.

My wife revealed her kid, within days of us meeting. Three months is too long, she's already cheating you.

[gazmat]

Grow a pair man! Tell her if she wants a bit of mighty Farang goodness she'd better dump them pesky kids ASAFP. Permanently too - leave the little buggers on the step outside the orphanage or sell them to the gangs who run the beggars on Suk (her ex can no doubt put them in touch). Then there's nothing in the way of the two of you getting down and jiggy for a few months until you get bored and kick her to the kerb in favour of a newer, more exciting version. Sure she might get a bit teary that she gave up her kids for you but, hey, a couple of plates of somtam and she'll get over it. They always do.