Staying at the in laws in Phrae at Songkran - hold me

[pigeonjake]

some of us live up country as some put it,,,, and gues what,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we like it,

each to there own

jake

[bannork]

some of us live up country as some put it,,,, and gues what,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we like it,

each to there own

jake

Upcountry living is far superior to Bangkok, at least in Udon province. Fresh air, space, no traffic jams, freedom.

The OP shouldn't worry about the road safety too much, most of the accidents at Songkran are on minor roads involving motorbikes-drunk youths. Plenty of police checkpoints on the main roads to deter drunk drivers there.

Regarding air con and hot showers in Thailand. These are only for fairies, real men don't need them.

[choochoo]

some of us live up country as some put it,,,, and gues what,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we like it,

each to there own

jake

very true but there s a good reason the young people FLEE the UPCOUNTRY!

[bannork]

some of us live up country as some put it,,,, and gues what,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, we like it,

each to there own

jake

very true but there s a good reason the young people FLEE the UPCOUNTRY!

Job opportunities and to broaden their horizons but many come back in their later years.

But choochoo loves Asoke/Nana, upcountry wouldn't be suitable even though the internet connection is good.

[scorecard]

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Why do you need hot water in April for a shower? Take a big icebox and plenty of beers, buy a mosquito net the type you string up around the bed. Mosquito repellant cream for the daytime. No aircon could be tough.

Dear OP,

Do the right thing, pay for screens to be installed on all doors and windows,install LG Inverters in all rooms in the house, and upgrade the bathroom(s) to at least your standards.

20,000 should be enough and all happy.

[guzzi850m2]

I been living for short periods of time in my wife's house way out in the sticks some 60 km from SiSaket.

No AC off-course but I found that if you have a floor fan next to the bed it isn't too bad actually and I can sleep but the house hold animals wake up at first light and the damned village chief are having pep talks though his loud hailer speakers at 0600 each morning, he-he, so try to go early to bed.

[CWMcMurray]

Thanks for the responses guys.

And for those asking, of course I know how to use google, and yes, I probably will book into a hotel in town.

Now let me make this point clear, the inlaws (and extended family) aren't bad people it's just that we have a completely different mindset and I know that it is inevitable that we will make the trip to Big C or Tesco Lotus with about 15 people huddled in the back of the pickup who will seemingly just come along for the ride - I didn't realise supermarkets were such an attraction!

Of course I could just say to the Mrs that I'm not going, plain and simple. However, whilst I really don't want to go, I'm trying to think of it from her point of view. Let's say the roles were reversed and she was in the UK at Christmas time, for example. I don't think I'd feel too great if she refused to visit my family during the Christmas period. Naturally, my family wouldn't look at her to pay for things at every given opportunity, but there you go!

And this will only be the 3rd time that her parents will be spending time with our daughter, so really it is only right that we go, to be fair.

Anyway, a successful relationship, no matter what of the world you live in is all about compromises and a bit of give and take, right? I figure now is just a time where I'm going to have to give a little more than usual!

The thing that concerns me more than the lack of facilities, the mozzies, the heat, the part of me being seen as the walking ATM, the upcountry blokes and their Laokhao induced ways...more than all this...the thing that concerns me most is that we are going to have to drive for 8 hrs during a time the road in Thailand are so unbelievably dangerous it actually beggars belief.

Wouldn't worry about that too much.. You will surely be invited by the guys to sit around and drink all day

If you do, every time the bottle empties , they will look to you

Just tell them you don't drink or of wanting to be social... Sit down for a couple minutes and have one glass of beer.. Then smile and tell them you are done , as will need to drive to .. The store or the hotel or to the market or where ever, so can't get drunk

Also if you have a hotel room, ypu can slip out around 6 or 6:30 once it gets dark and totally skip the mass drunkenness all night long..

If you want to but them alcohol or not... Total up to ypu..

But if you do buy a case of Lao khao or beer.. No reason to give them all of it on day 1 or it will just be gone on day 1

Buy a case and keep it at the hotel and just drop a few bottles a day

If anyone asks for more, just smile and tell them you will bring more tomorrow.

If you are not drinking with them.. Will pretty much end there

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[choochoo]

do village boys really just sit around all day and drink? sounds just horrible? so many make the boys seem to be country BumPkIns.............lol

Edited April 13, 2014 by choochoo

[CWMcMurray]

OP... Another face saving way to get the hotel is to blame it on the kid....

Daughter needs to sleep with AC...

There will be many smiles and laughter about this, but no hard feelings... Even better if true

I remember when my 4 yr old went to visit grandma with the wife and all the laughter on the call from the wife when she was describing the kids asking "where is the air conditioning ?"

Kids say the damnedest things...

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[pinkpanther99]

OP... Another face saving way to get the hotel is to blame it on the kid....

Daughter needs to sleep with AC...

There will be many smiles and laughter about this, but no hard feelings... Even better if true

I remember when my 4 yr old went to visit grandma with the wife and all the laughter on the call from the wife when she was describing the kids asking "where is the air conditioning ?"

Kids say the damnedest things...

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This is what i've done! I'm at the hotel now. I actually slept at the family shack last night, showed my face around the village and had a few drinks with some of the guys. They've done the trip to Big C so most of them are happy.

However, my daughter didnt sleep much last night as she was so hot so we're staying in the hotel from now on. Face saved all round!!!

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[Orangutan]

God have mercy on you.

-O

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[CWMcMurray]

OP glad to hear that you got the hotel room... Will certainly make things much comfortable and also gives you the freedom to slip away for a bit of privacy when needed

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[connda]

I been living for short periods of time in my wife's house way out in the sticks some 60 km from SiSaket.

No AC off-course but I found that if you have a floor fan next to the bed it isn't too bad actually and I can sleep but the house hold animals wake up at first light and the damned village chief are having pep talks though his loud hailer speakers at 0600 each morning, he-he, so try to go early to bed.

Wow. Sounds just like our village in the middle of the mountains in central Lamphun province.

Edited April 13, 2014 by connda

[Somtamme]

Surely it's character building and will make a gentleman of you. The countryside will be beautiful and a change from dirty BKK. I'm sure your not going to be treated like a POW.

[guzzi850m2]

Wow. Sounds just like our village in the middle of the mountains in central Lamphun province.

Sadly my wife's village is located on flat land, not a hill or mountain in sight which is depressing but good for rice paddy fields.

One time we were there I heard what I first thought was thunder but it turned out it was canon fire exchange between Thailand and Cambodia over the temple located right on the border but thankfully we were app. 50 km away.

We never managed to visit the temple, each time there were Thai troops that politely told us that the temple is closed and we can't enter but had to turn back. One day hopefully.

Edited April 14, 2014 by guzzi850m2

[Eliot Rosewater]

I actually look forward to Songran up here in ChiangRai. (our house is behind the family one) Lots of relatives come and spend most of their day travelling to see things round the area but one or two nice meals sitting outside just like a bbq in Australia with the kids all sitting round a charcoal burner like the witches in Macbeth making moo yang and us all sitting round and talking. Would not like it all year but once a year is really nice.

Im up here outside Chiang Kong; stuck at the inlaws at least i have plenty of beer lao

We should start an annual get together:)

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[bkkgooner]

Still don't understand why blokes go to these upcountry villages and pay for everything for everyone, this is why I am happy that my wife is from Bangkok never had to do any of this rubbish!

Best of luck with the trip

Edited April 14, 2014 by bkkgooner

[Eliot Rosewater]

Still don't understand why blokes go to these upcountry villages and pay for everything for everyone, this is why I am happy that my wife is from Bangkok never had to do any of this rubbish!

Best of luck with the trip

My family pays for everything; aside from a meal out or a tank of gas

They are good people

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[SongKranSid]

So after putting it off for the past 3 years I'm being dragged upcountry this songkran to bloody Phrae to stay at the in laws for 4 whole days.

No hot water, no air con, traditional (in the truest sense of the word) Thai toilet. And no mosquito covers on the windows - it's gonna be a feeding frenzy.

Add to the fact that I'm gonna be the only farang for miles around, I ain't exactly ecstatic about going.

I need some forum love Thaivisa brethren, spare a thought for a brother in need.

*hug me*

Be thankful your there, smile, be humble and enjoy the experience nothing worse than a misrable moaning westerner making the family feel awkward, uncomfortable and embarrassed by your higher than almighty western standard and ways.

[connda]

Still don't understand why blokes go to these upcountry villages and pay for everything for everyone, this is why I am happy that my wife is from Bangkok never had to do any of this rubbish!

Best of luck with the trip

Nobody that I know in our village has asked me for anything. However, although I'd be considered dirt poor in my home country, by comparison, I'm relatively well off as compared to the folks that my wife hires to do work around the house and on her farmland. I have absolutely no problem supplying food and beverages for our guests.

Why? My father, God rest his soul, was a true patriach of our family. When you came to his house, it was a feast. When Dad took the family and friends out, he paid, and it was a feast.

Now I do the same, withing my own means, as my own way to honor my father's memory. He taught me the value of generousity. It has it's own rewards.

[pinkpanther99]

So that's my Songkran in upcountry over then.

After a 13 hour drive back from Phrae we arrived back home in Hua Hin just after midnight.

All in all it was fairly uneventful! Thanks to those who posted advice in here.

I did my bit, joined in playing with the water with the kids and got drunk with the village locals on another night before sneaking off back to my air con hotel room, every night apart from one.

Apparently my wife's old man didn't like the fact that I didn't want to stay at the family palace but does the Pink Panther's face look in the slightest bit bothered?

Another good thing is that I told my Mrs that it would be her and not me paying for trips to Big C and the like, which saw my Mrs be much more careful with spending on the family than I reckon she would have been otherwise - I think she might have actually learnt a thing or two this trip about managing personal finances!

Anyway, for those of you saying I should been a man about the whole thing and just stayed at the shack, here's why I stayed 3 out 4 nights in a hotel:

Surely a farangs worst nightmare?

To all you blokes who live in upcountry Thailand, does your toilet look anything like this?

Edited April 16, 2014 by pinkpanther99

[bannork]

Pink panther, I regret to inform you but you are displaying all the signs of a wimp.

Unless you're a vastly overweight fat b.....d, that toilet is no problem and indeed more hygienic than a toilet with a seat.No doubt there is a tank containing water next to it for flushing.Much more useful than toilets with a cistern which are useless if the water is cut off for any reason.

I suggest you attend a boot camp here in Bandung before next year to get you in shape both physically and mentally.Charges are very reasonable and on completion you're allowed a visit to the nearest Tesco Lotus, only 8 km away.

[ZigZagMan]

Make an appearance and drop the wife off with a wad of cash.

[dotpoom]

Sometimes life is about ...."fitting in"....with other people.....not just about considering our own needs

[connda]

So that's my Songkran in upcountry over then.

After a 13 hour drive back from Phrae we arrived back home in Hua Hin just after midnight.

All in all it was fairly uneventful! Thanks to those who posted advice in here.

I did my bit, joined in playing with the water with the kids and got drunk with the village locals on another night before sneaking off back to my air con hotel room, every night apart from one.

Apparently my wife's old man didn't like the fact that I didn't want to stay at the family palace but does the Pink Panther's face look in the slightest bit bothered?

Another good thing is that I told my Mrs that it would be her and not me paying for trips to Big C and the like, which saw my Mrs be much more careful with spending on the family than I reckon she would have been otherwise - I think she might have actually learnt a thing or two this trip about managing personal finances!

Anyway, for those of you saying I should been a man about the whole thing and just stayed at the shack, here's why I stayed 3 out 4 nights in a hotel:

Surely a farangs worst nightmare?

To all you blokes who live in upcountry Thailand, does your toilet look anything like this?

Yeah, we're upscale LOL Congratulations of 'toughing in out'. Good job.

[Nautilus05]

LOL, you big baby. That one is like a foot off the ground!

Try one of these:

[ebean001]

Why do I feel so many of you are simply weak people. Stand up fools. First, suffer a day or 2 then say - i am going back to where ever, I cannot stand being here, sorry. Then leave with or without your wife - no problem. so understands. Second, do what i did - I added a room onto their house for me - nice bed, A/C, TV, cable, etc. Expensive option but i can do it. Third - I found a hotel about 20 klms away. I stayed there before i built the room. Sometimes i would stay there all day and the heck with going to a place that was torture and no one to talk to. I would hire a 'massage' for 2 hours at a time then walk around for exercise and 'whatever'. A lot of internet usage and lots of massages. my wife seldom came back to the hotel with me there. Good to be free for a day or so.

They once invited me to supper. Ok, but all i want is rice and vegs. that was ok. Then I invited them to an A/C restaurant. they did not want to go. that is even better - my wife and i went.

[sirchai]

Now let me make this point clear, the inlaws (and extended family) aren't bad people it's just that we have a completely different mindset and I know that it is inevitable that we will make the trip to Big C or Tesco Lotus with about 15 people huddled in the back of the pickup who will seemingly just come along for the ride - I didn't realise supermarkets were such an attraction!

They aren't bad people, but you don't really like them. The completely different mindset seemed to attract you when you'd met your wife/gf.

Many people can't just go to Big-C, or Tesco, as a lack of transportation, isn't that much better to travel with friends and relatives, while making jokes about the foreigner's long nose and not understanding their language?

I did that so many times and never had a problem doing so. Sleep there for four days, where they live their whole lives.

Supermarkets are always an attraction as there's air conditioning. Many Thais just hang out there for hours, didn't you know that?

[LukKrueng]

What's wrong with you guys?? What do you think marriage is all about? Family? How bad can it be to show some respect to your wife's family? So you "reduce" your standard of living for a couple of days. You seem to forget that this is where she IS FROM, this is where she grew up, those are the people that brought her up to be the woman you decided to marry!!!

How would you feel if she snubbed your family? If she refused to eat with them? refused to visit them??

You THINK that your way of life is an upgrade for her - well, you are WRONG! It's definitely a change, a different way of life, but rest assure most Thais don't hate their heritage, they feel good going back home and stay with their families, at the old house with what YOU consider "sub-standard" toilets. Try for once viewing it without judgement. Look at it as DIFFERENT, not INFERIOR. It will make your life easier to bear.

[DekDaeng]

So that's my Songkran in upcountry over then.

After a 13 hour drive back from Phrae we arrived back home in Hua Hin just after midnight.

All in all it was fairly uneventful! Thanks to those who posted advice in here.

I did my bit, joined in playing with the water with the kids and got drunk with the village locals on another night before sneaking off back to my air con hotel room, every night apart from one.

Apparently my wife's old man didn't like the fact that I didn't want to stay at the family palace but does the Pink Panther's face look in the slightest bit bothered?

Another good thing is that I told my Mrs that it would be her and not me paying for trips to Big C and the like, which saw my Mrs be much more careful with spending on the family than I reckon she would have been otherwise - I think she might have actually learnt a thing or two this trip about managing personal finances!

Anyway, for those of you saying I should been a man about the whole thing and just stayed at the shack, here's why I stayed 3 out 4 nights in a hotel:

Surely a farangs worst nightmare?

To all you blokes who live in upcountry Thailand, does your toilet look anything like this?

ooooh! Sheeer lookshury!