Gay slur words

[Jingthing]

Personally I very rarely use gay slur words, strong or mild ones.

Very rarely, but not never.

I guess I've used the f-got word among other gays playfully and wouldn't be offended if they used it playfully.

Even more so with the suffix -TRY which makes that word almost camp and fun.

There are so many gay slur words in so many languages, I guess each one has it's own peculiarities of usage.

Of course queer has become owned and turned into a non-slur so that's an exception.

Among other gay people, I do sometimes use gay slang, such as Size Queen. That's just for fun. Those types of phrases wouldn't be used against gay people to insult, they are more just "in group" phrases or words.

When non-gay people use slur words DIRECTED at gay people or without gay people present, I think that is a different thing.

Compare to the "N" word for black, Black people often use it between themselves affectionately and playfully Non-blacks really shouldn't. Like -- EVER.

I am no expert but I really don't think think gay people use SLUR words among themselves as much as black people use the N word.

GAY SLANG -- yes, lots.

What do people here think about these differences in social convention around the use of gay slur words?

Is it wrong to be offended when non-gays use slur words directed at us or about us if we are at all OK with their use among ourselves in playful way? Do you find that hypocritical? I don't really because the same word or phrase really has a different meaning depending on the CONTEXT (and the context includes who is saying it to who).

Edited April 8, 2014 by Jingthing

[sustento]

Please. Just stop digging that hole. If you're going to be offended choose something worth being offended about rather than by people who do it just to wind you up. You're SO predictable that you're a guaranteed source of entertainment for the phobes. Grow a shell.

[Jingthing]

Please. Just stop digging that hole. If you're going to be offended choose something worth being offended about rather than by people who do it just to wind you up. You're SO predictable that you're a guaranteed source of entertainment for the phobes. Grow a shell.

Yeah I hear you ... probably best sent in a PM.

I still think it was an interesting question.

[seedy]

If you get offended by what people call you, I tend toward the belief that it is you that has the problem with that word.

Stick and Stones ...

Myself, if I choose to not be offended by whatever - water off a ducks back kind of thing

Illegitimi non carborundum

Edited April 9, 2014 by seedy

[Scott]

It is offensive in general to use them and at least on the forum they are generally not permitted. Whether someone has a shell or not, such words when used among a wider audience act to derail threads.

Within any community or group, or even within a family, there may be pet names/terms that are acceptable, but not tolerable by the wider community.

It may be an interesting topic, but it is not something that can easily be solved. It's a little like asking how hot does it have to be to be hot?

[Jingthing]

Yeah but used playfully among friendlies I have never heard anyone say we shouldn't use those words either because those words are used by others to attack us. I don't say that either because I'm just not feeling that.

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[isanbirder]

Not really a topic for discussion. Just not an issue (or a shadow of one)

As Scott says, the gay sub-forum has to react against perceived slurs.

But in life among our friends, anybody may say what they like. If they are friends, they won't say anything they know will hurt us.

[Jingthing]

OK, fine.

I don't really disagree.

However I do still find it interesting that the use of the "N" word is a matter of a lot of heated controversy WITHIN the black community (in the US anyway) about whether it is really OK to be used by black people (obviously not OK for non-black people). Such voices seem to be saying we're telling the world not to diss us that way, but we use this word so much ourselves and so visibly so like in music lyrics, and we just shouldn't, it gives the wrong message.

But this kind of self criticism seems to never come up among gay people. I think the reason is probably that gay people don't use gay slur words among each other very much to begin with! Also there are SO MANY gay slur words, you can't really pin down the issue to one major word as the "N" word. But I'm not sure if those are really the reasons.

Only stabbing at theories. If y'all don't have any, never mind ...

Edited April 9, 2014 by Jingthing

[onthemoon]

The black community in the US has a different history with the "N" word than the gay community in Thailand with any words describing gay people.

You do live in Thailand, do you? Sometimes I wonder.

[Jingthing]

The black community in the US has a different history with the "N" word than the gay community in Thailand with any words describing gay people.

You do live in Thailand, do you? Sometimes I wonder.

Yes sir. I think I already mentioned that the "N" word was a special case.

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[David48]

We all get teased or 'stirred' as some nations call it.

I supposed the next step up from teasing or stirring would be slurring.

I was a freckled, fat, red headed kid at school ... I copped it BIG TIME ... but I lived to tell the tale and hopefully went onto a full and well-adjusted life.

Obviously, I was never called 'gay' in a derogatory sense, because I'm not.

With puberty, and maybe some better attentiveness to the sun, the freckles disappeared and the carrot red lightened (thankfully) ... but I was still a 'solid' guy

So, I wonder, from the essence of the OP, if someone was FAT and GAY ... and then 'slurred' in public with either of those terms ... which one would be more offensive to the recipient?

Equally, which one would said with more venom from the speaker?

[Scott]

Most people can change being fat. The other one is more challenging.

[uptheos]

I thought it was about drunken gays, speaking,

[Jingthing]

The topic really is mostly about gay people using gay slur words among each other and how that might be seen as fun and acceptable but from non-gays would not.

Cheers.

[larsjohnsson]

If they don't like others to use those slur words, they should not use it themself. It's very hypocritical from those people to pretend that it's ok for themself but not for others

[Jingthing]

If they don't like others to use those slur words, they should not use it themself. It's very hypocritical from those people to pretend that it's ok for themself but not for others

You say that, but I'm not buying it. Every "in group" that I have ever been aware of does the same thing. It's OK within the in group and not OK as a hateful insult. That's just human nature. It's also my personal observation that gay people don't use in group slurs very much in the first place, compared to some other identity groups.

Edited April 18, 2014 by Jingthing

[larsjohnsson]

If they don't like others to use those slur words, they should not use it themself. It's very hypocritical from those people to pretend that it's ok for themself but not for others

You say that, but I'm not buying it. Every "in group" that I have ever been aware of does the same thing. It's OK within the in group and not OK as a hateful insult. That's just human nature. It's also my personal observation that gay people don't use in group slurs very much in the first place, compared to some other identity groups.

So you and your friends have "all rights reserved" on some words and you decide who can use them.

What words or expressions do you NOT use when talking with heterosexual people then? Because I suppose it the same apply to them? Or?

[Jingthing]

If they don't like others to use those slur words, they should not use it themself. It's very hypocritical from those people to pretend that it's ok for themself but not for others

You say that, but I'm not buying it. Every "in group" that I have ever been aware of does the same thing. It's OK within the in group and not OK as a hateful insult. That's just human nature. It's also my personal observation that gay people don't use in group slurs very much in the first place, compared to some other identity groups.

So you and your friends have "all rights reserved" on some words and you decide who can use them.

What words or expressions do you NOT use when talking with heterosexual people then? Because I suppose it the same apply to them? Or?

I don't decide anything. Trust me on that. Gay people are a small minority group that is discriminated against in most of the world. Straight people dominate all over the world. Straight people aren't a minority identity group. I'm not even sure exactly what you're asking but in my experience straight people are just straight people, or heterosexuals, or heteros. In the real world ALL people are just assumed to be straight anyway unless you "come out" in some way. The breeder word is obnoxious and not a word that I use. If referring to an overtly anti-gay straight person, I use hater or bigot or homophobe, which to me aren't slurs but rather just descriptive.

Edited April 18, 2014 by Jingthing

[larsjohnsson]

Except that it's not a small minority group. Nearly all other minority groups are much much smaller.

Most estimates that I have been reading say about 500-700 million people

Edited April 18, 2014 by larsjohnsson

[Jingthing]

Except that it's not a small minority group. Nearly all other minority groups are much much smaller.

Most estimates that I have been reading say about 500-700 million people

That's absurd.

In any given society, gay people are always a minority group.

We're not getting into exact percentages here. Nobody knows and it depends on how you define gay anyway.

Even in world famous gay mecca San Francisco gay people aren't even CLOSE to a majority.

I feel you're posting here to be pointlessly argumentative and I will respond to you no further.

Cheers.

[larsjohnsson]

You probably misunderstood. What I tried to say was, for being a minority group. The gay minority group is large compared to most other minority groups.

[sustento]

You probably misunderstood. What I tried to say was, for being a minority group. The gay minority group is large compared to most other minority groups.

I don't think anyone misunderstood at all. 700 million in one place would be a majority. Spread over a population of 6 billion they are indeed a minority!

[Scott]

Numerous off-topic posts and replies deleted and one poster on a suspension.

If you wish to make attacks on gays, it's best to find another forum in which to post. If you wish for information, you are welcomed to post here.

[onthemoon]

You probably misunderstood. What I tried to say was, for being a minority group. The gay minority group is large compared to most other minority groups.

I don't think anyone misunderstood at all. 700 million in one place would be a majority. Spread over a population of 6 billion they are indeed a minority!

Yes, but a large minority compared to other minorities. That's why we can make ourselves more visible than other minorities. Lars does have a point, methinks.

[larsjohnsson]

You probably misunderstood. What I tried to say was, for being a minority group. The gay minority group is large compared to most other minority groups.

I don't think anyone misunderstood at all. 700 million in one place would be a majority. Spread over a population of 6 billion they are indeed a minority!

Nobody are saying they are majority. I belived it was obvious that there are more heterosexual people. But for being a minority group, it's very large. How many other minority groups are hundreds of million people.

I would guess 99% of all other minority groups fighting for something are smaller.

Edited April 19, 2014 by larsjohnsson

[cheekychops]

As a bisexual man I get called all kinds of things, usually though the worst insults come jokingly from gay men.

[cheekychops]

If they don't like others to use those slur words, they should not use it themself. It's very hypocritical from those people to pretend that it's ok for themself but not for others

You say that, but I'm not buying it. Every "in group" that I have ever been aware of does the same thing. It's OK within the in group and not OK as a hateful insult. That's just human nature. It's also my personal observation that gay people don't use in group slurs very much in the first place, compared to some other identity groups.

So you and your friends have "all rights reserved" on some words and you decide who can use them.

What words or expressions do you NOT use when talking with heterosexual people then? Because I suppose it the same apply to them? Or?

Jingthing has friends?

The man said in groups and i took that to mean 'fun groups'

[David48]

... Every "in group" that I have ever been aware of does the same thing. It's OK within the in group and not OK as a hateful insult. That's just human nature. It's also my personal observation that gay people don't use in group slurs very much in the first place, compared to some other identity groups.

So you and your friends have "all rights reserved" on some words and you decide who can use them.

What words or expressions do you NOT use when talking with heterosexual people then? Because I suppose it the same apply to them? Or?

Jingthing has friends?

The man said in groups and i took that to mean 'fun groups'

^^ ouch

BTW, have you met him?