Greeting a Thai Lady, with a kiss.

[art vandelay]

seems you were culturally ignorant when you arrived and remain so.

[ezzra]

I kiss them on the check and wipe it with a 1,000 baht note, works every time.... no more horror....

[bluebluewater]

Just "motor boat'em". They will say nothing about the kissing.

[spidermike007]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ XA using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Good points indeed. The fact of the matter, is that I do not believe this is against Thai culture. That is a pretty strong statement, and I doubt it has any basis in fact. The more accurate thing to say may be that "we are not used to doing that, and we are afraid, uncomfortable, and unwilling to do things we are not used to doing. Thai people have a lot of lovely qualities, but they are amongst the most conventional minded people on the planet. It is extremely hard for most of them to think outside of the fairly small box they confine themselves to live within. So, when you introduce something like kissing for an introduction, I could see how that could blow their minds. Even some of my girlfriends friends, who i have known for years, I hesitate to kiss when I say hello. They seem to like to keep a physical distance unless you are intimate. Even my girlfriend, when she greets her Mom and Dad, after not seeing them for 9 months, never used to hug or kiss them. She does now, as I insist. It seems unnatural to not greet your folks warmly after that much time. I give her Mom and hug and a kiss, and she thinks it is strange, but I think she likes it.

[zeichen]

You did something innapropriate and now want to blame your wife not knowing the reason why? There isn't always a reason why. There are things that are acceptable and things that are not. I believe that you must adapt to local customs especially if you are to live here. To many cultures kissing is a very intimate thing.

Thais do what is called cheek kiss, hom gam, but again that is definitely for very close relatives and not done with most people. So it is not like kissing and affection don't exist. It is just a private thing.

It isn't really common to show any public display of affection. You should have learned the customs before coming. Don't assume that your way is standard throughout the world.

To thost that think Thais are more sophisticated if they travel abroad and adapt to western cultures. I doubt that they return to Thailand and start hugging and kissing people that they just met, if so they lost the plot.

[khunpa]

Where I am from it is not normal to cheek-kiss when saying hi to people. We shake hands! When put in a situation where someone wants to cheek-kiss me, I therefore always avoid it because to me it is completely unnatural.

However, I have noticed that many other cultures (including my own) have adapted this tradition. It is especially used in expat communities, where people tend to think it is somehow "hi-so" to do this. Ever seen two expat-wifes meet? For sure they will do anything to get attention from their surroundings. They will completely overplay it. Nothing more funny and completely ridiculous to look at!

A normal Thai-girl will at worst "sniff-kiss" her boyfriend in public (if really in love), but will otherwise not do any public kissing. She will for sure not like to kiss or be kissed as a way of greeting. Most will also try to avoid shaking hands. It is exactly like bikinis. Bargirls will wear them. Decent, traditional and normal Thai-girls will not wear a bikini when going to the beach.

So I completely understand that your girlfriends friends felt offended. Kissing and nakedness in public, belongs to places like Nana Plaza and has nothing to do with Thai culture.

[SoiBiker]

Good points indeed. The fact of the matter, is that I do not believe this is against Thai culture. That is a pretty strong statement, and I doubt it has any basis in fact. The more accurate thing to say may be that "we are not used to doing that, and we are afraid, uncomfortable, and unwilling to do things we are not used to doing. Thai people have a lot of lovely qualities, but they are amongst the most conventional minded people on the planet. It is extremely hard for most of them to think outside of the fairly small box they confine themselves to live within. So, when you introduce something like kissing for an introduction, I could see how that could blow their minds. Even some of my girlfriends friends, who i have known for years, I hesitate to kiss when I say hello. They seem to like to keep a physical distance unless you are intimate. Even my girlfriend, when she greets her Mom and Dad, after not seeing them for 9 months, never used to hug or kiss them. She does now, as I insist. It seems unnatural to not greet your folks warmly after that much time. I give her Mom and hug and a kiss, and she thinks it is strange, but I think she likes it.

So when they're culturally uncomfortable with something, they're being small minded - but when you disagree with something, it's unnatural and they should bend to your will?

[Thaijack2014]

Not showing affection in public between people of the opposite sex is not a Thai thing but an Asian custom. The customary Thai rule according to my knowledge is that a husband may "hom" his wife and only his wife in public. Hom is an action whereby you put your lips close to the cheek of your wife and then suck air in through your mouth, making a soft sound. The custom is that you don't touch any other woman, not by huging, hand shake or kiss. For the first year my wife didn't want to hold hands in public, but now she is okay with that. In our travels through Asia (even in Japan and S Korea) you don't often see affection shown in public.

True, I agree, but the last time I was in Seoul I was surprised how many young people displayed affection to eachother in public.

[jimbeam1]

When we are in Thailand, my wife forbids public displays of affection like kissing. Not the

Thai way, she says.

When she first moved here (Greece)

where as Kostas says, greeting

people (even if it's two men

greeting each other) with a kiss on the cheek or two (three if you are

close) is the norm, she had a bit of a culture shock! However, now

she is quite used to it, and sees

nothing strange in it.

But it is still NOT something to be done in Thailand!

When in Athens. Lol

Jb1

[jimbeam1]

Puckering is the worst form of greeting besides handshakes, best way for bacteria to travel. Most

Asians got it right, no bodily

contact.

I like a small wave, if not that, a

nod. No need to stick your tongue

down some hairy fellows gullet.

Not a wai ?.

Jb1

[Estrada]

Quite agree with Costas. Una faccia una razza

Una faccia una razza? Which translates as Costa's face needs a razor.

[poweratradio]

Not trying to have a dig here, but it depends on how "world wise" the ladies are, if they have come off a farm or never travelled out of Thailand, then what they have said is correct, however I have Thai lady friends, who are genuinely friends who were educated over seas and have travelled a lot and the kiss on the cheek thing in public is not a big deal and on some occasions its actually them who will initiate the cheek kiss thing

Heck I got crapped on for holding hands with my future wife by Aunts who said this cannot be shown in front of the farm workers who were husking corn. We were to be married 2 days later. Her attitude pissed me off so bad I refused to eat her food when it was served for my family escorts.

[canuckamuck]

Best just to grab your crotch and say hooah

[marko kok prong]

Costas did'nt say if he used the tongue in his greeting,i wonder...?

[stickylies]

sniff kissing is indeed quite erotic.... Hòòòòm Hòòòòm

as said before, it's all about traditions and customs... Manchu people considered kissing a sexual act but mothers performing fellatio on their sons to show affection was perfectly ok.

Edited May 3, 2014 by stickylies

[healthbkkbkk]

I'm of a certain age and where I come from it is customary for men and women to kiss on the cheek. Men also kiss each other on the cheek. It is also customary for women to swim at a pool or the beach topless and for nude advertisement in public. I find all of these things natural and non-sexual in nature but that isn't the case in Thailand and many other places.

Kissing in public, be it with a wife or a kiss on the cheek with a friend, is not a good idea as Thais do not like it. We can debate the attitudes of the more Cosmopolitan minded Thais but it is still considered rude here.

Where I come from men take great care in their personal hygiene and appearance. We dress well and wear Eau de Parfum and keep our hair style tidy.

After years of Thais thinking I'm Gay I decided to concede and maintain a more casual look and my life has been better ever since. This is just to say "When in Thailand do as the Thais do".

[Morakot]

Costas, it's perfectly fine to do this! Especially when you wear an outfit like this.

Edited May 3, 2014 by Morakot

[Thaiready]

When I met my Wife for the first time it was in the US...She was on a field trip with her College from KK. I was a IT Project Manager at The Coca-Cola Company in Atlanta,Georgia. I was giving the tour of our Data Center and she caught my eye...we exchanged contact info and went from there....and no kiss happened while in the US....We also met in KK almost 2 years later....I hugged and kissed her for the first time...I then turned to her Mother and did the same....her Father I shook his hand all this happened after the Wai....I knew about the Culture of not doing in Public......but when you Love someone that all goes out the window.....Even today 15 years later, we have no regrets about showing our Love in public....

[khunpa]

I'm of a certain age and where I come from it is customary for men and women to kiss on the cheek. Men also kiss each other on the cheek. It is also customary for women to swim at a pool or the beach topless and for nude advertisement in public. I find all of these things natural and non-sexual in nature but that isn't the case in Thailand and many other places.

Kissing in public, be it with a wife or a kiss on the cheek with a friend, is not a good idea as Thais do not like it. We can debate the attitudes of the more Cosmopolitan minded Thais but it is still considered rude here.

Where I come from men take great care in their personal hygiene and appearance. We dress well and wear Eau de Parfum and keep our hair style tidy.

After years of Thais thinking I'm Gay I decided to concede and maintain a more casual look and my life has been better ever since. This is just to say "When in Thailand do as the Thais do".

I agree... "When in Thailand, then do as Thais do"... When that is said, I would recommend you not to try and kiss me (anywhere), if we ever meet :-)

[Costas2008]

I am reading this and I cracked up,, my wife sitting next to me looked at me like I lost my mind.

Most entertaining thread

That's what TVF is best used for, comical relief IMO. Some folk on here get very serious indeed.

My wife long ago stopped looking at me like I've lost my mind, she accepts it as a fact now

This has indeed been an interesting thread although I am no wiser as to why people want to greet with a kiss. Can you imagine where some of those lips have been !

Here here Brother , people do take themselves way too seriously.

I wonder what Costas would think when he wakes up and sees what we'v done with his thread?

Teaches him right to go to sleep and leave a thread unattended in the general forum

Sorry Steve, had to go out early this morning........wife's orders.

Just came back and I'm trying to read through.

Have to admit, most of the answers are sensible.

Also reflect the culture and upbringing of the individuals.

The other thing, I can detect, is that people have lost contact with their own countries.......a little sad for me.

Anyway, I'll try to answer, some of the posts, after I had breakfast or lunch.

[how241]

I was told that kissing in public is not permitted with in Thai culture. Young people might do it, but certainly not respectable adults.

And certainly not with farangs unless you want people to think you are a bar girl.

+1...Yes, I have heard those same things.

Edited May 3, 2014 by how241

[mca]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do.

Especially if it's the copper who's just stopped you for speeding on the Don Muang Tollway.

Edited May 3, 2014 by mca

[maxman71]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ XA using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

I do the safe thing that I find is respected and appreciated everywhere I've been in the world which is about 15+ countries in Asia, the EU and N. America, which is a friendly handshake; sometimes using both of my hands to grasp the other person's one hand if I have met them previously and we have established a warm rapport. Otherwise, I am not the sort that is going try and change another country's culture and customs. If I find a country's customs and culture truly repulsive, then I just avoid going there. And the Thais' repulsion to public display of physical intimacy is something I have grown accustomed to and I respect it.

[transam]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo kiss...................

Though now, ladies who give me a cuddle get a peck on their head, yeeeeeeeeh, not good but if they want to cuddle, then it's my reply.........

[kinmaew]

My TGF never liked this and was well aware that it is farang custom. They dont like to express this kind of emotion in public. I can understand why but its difficult to explain why. Maybe its something like losing your control or emotions in public or letting your guard down. To be honest when I see a couple "Having a pash" in public I find it offensive, better to do this in private not in front of everyone. But I dont see anything wrong with a peck on the cheek generally.

[Flute]

Thai are not one of the friendliest countries of the world.

The list of theses, for me, begins with Tadchikistan, followed by Myanmar and Cambodia. I feel, the most Thai are not very well educated in their behaviour by private meetings and when they leave.

Tradition is tradition, but to do nothing, cannot be really a tradition.

Everywhere it is different, how the people show their respect and honor.

Of course it's also very different between Bangkok and the countryside. Here in Nong Hi, when I am cycling around, all people smile and greets me very friendly, so I can enjoy.

All over the world, in countryside the people are friendlier, except special tribes, so I know about it, in north-eastern Pakistan. They never liked foreigner. The covernment there also is without much control.

So, in average, Thai are very normal people at all, no more then less friendly than in average of all people I met in many countries all over the world. I was not everywhere, but I traveled a lot.

The Country of smile" Thailand is not!

[NanLaew]

I was told that kissing in public is not permitted with in Thai culture. Young people might do it, but certainly not respectable adults.

And certainly not with farangs unless you want people to think you are a bar girl.

I'm pretty sure people don't think I'm bar girl mate

You should really stop trotting around the place in that mini skirt mca. It's confusing for people.

...and your stiletto heels aren't half buggering up the lino.

[khunPer]

I would only wai “strangers” and let it be up to them if we shake hands, hug or check kiss – some do, most don't – in general avoid physical contact unless “invited”. With GF/wife a kiss is Okay, unless she have asked for not doing it in public – may be different custom when in a rural village, than in BKK or tourist areas; also a question of reputation and family. Kissing in public is to my knowledge not at all a custom in Thailand, instead you may “snif kiss” on the check, but normally never strangers.

[Thai at Heart]

To me, kissing total strangers seems an unnatural and overly intimate thing to do. When I left the UK, nobody did it. Now going back, it's weird because everyone is doing it, and it often looks uncomfortable and awkward, with people often getting in a muddle about which cheek to dive in for and how many kisses to give.

I don't think the way you greet is a good measure of how friendly you are. Thais are some of the friendliest people in the world. They manage to convey friendless, if not intimacy, without the need for great physical contact. Works for me. The only aspect of their greeting custom that I don't really get is parents and their children who haven't seen each other for months or maybe years, not hugging or touching at all upon meeting. That does seem unnatural and strange. I wonder whether they are resisting the urge on such occasions or whether the urge doesn't exist.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ XA using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Yes, its much more.common in the UK now.

I feel like a fogey. Just doesn't feel right.

Same here

Though both my parents were Greek , but moved to the States at a very young age and grew up there, when I go to Greece I am also uncomfortable with all the kissing.

I don't have anything against it,

I am just awkward with it, I am used to shaking hands, never sure who initiates the kissing, and how many times to kiss....

Anyway, if anyone wants to be kissing me , they ought to take me out to dinner first, perhaps a movie afterwards

I took my Thai wife to Greece for a couple of years for work. .eventually she enjoyed it, but the whole kissing malarkey was difficult.

[ozyjon]

I always think how funny to see old grandfathers walking down the street or shopping mall holding their darlings hand like they were teenagers, i like to look at the ladies face to read their mind, probably cringing every minute they are together, but my darling always held my arm as we walked everywhere i liked that but never held my hand and neither do any Thai couple i ever see (maybe teenagers) but not over 50's