Paying her family?

[slipperylobster]

This is the laughter I hear on the soi, everytime a farang heart is broken in two, and his money/earnings are squandered on some stupid sin sot scheme.

Never mind culture...go with your instincts. Be strong. Save your own face, not somebody elses

Edited May 10, 2014 by slipperylobster

[slipperylobster]

Back to OP.. How can you 'fall in love' on Skype.

you don't.

and stop sending money to nigeria.

[slipperylobster]

The OP needs to move on with his life. It sounds like he got out of a scam before it cost too much.

On a similar theme, village gossip tells me of a similar scenario in our district. A girl there has so far managed to snare 3 husbands on the internet. The girls mother was the driving force.

Girl meets farang on internet dating site. Farang would show up, a village wedding (not registered at the umphur) takes place. Farang pays for an expensive wedding. A new car and all the trappings would be given to the bride. A few weeks later an argument would take place with the farang sent packing. This got repeated 3 times.

Could at least the 3rd farang not use for bigamy to try and get his money back, as I take it from your story she didn't divorce the others first?

Probably silly suggestion..

You can get it back if you have lucky lotto numbers.

There is nothing in their bank accounts to get.,,and most homes have at least two loans out on them....and a sticky china person holding the title downtown...know full well the pawned property will eventually go to him. Licking their lips as we speak.

[slipperylobster]

I would most certainly boot you off the bus too! You stayed with me, screwed my daughter under my roof.. and you would think it's alright?

Back home, think my dad would have already gotten out his shotgun!

Sent from my LG-D505 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

T.I.T. the gals in the farmhouse are not quite the same as the ones you know in kansas.

Entirely different game/culture. There is even a bit of envy of the money you have.

Walk carefully. sleeping with a gal does not carry the same weight as what it does in Arkansas. (Bible belt)

[Farma]

The OP needs to move on with his life. It sounds like he got out of a scam before it cost too much.

On a similar theme, village gossip tells me of a similar scenario in our district. A girl there has so far managed to snare 3 husbands on the internet. The girls mother was the driving force.

Girl meets farang on internet dating site. Farang would show up, a village wedding (not registered at the umphur) takes place. Farang pays for an expensive wedding. A new car and all the trappings would be given to the bride. A few weeks later an argument would take place with the farang sent packing. This got repeated 3 times.

Could at least the 3rd farang not use for bigamy to try and get his money back, as I take it from your story she didn't divorce the others first?

Probably silly suggestion..

Village weddings that aren't registered at the umphur are ceremonies and not legal marriages in the eye of the law.

Hence no legal marriage, no need to divorce.

Also no bigamy.

Edited May 10, 2014 by Farma

[KIWIBATCH]

.....you have been scammed......good and proper.........Forget the drama queen stuff re "she sneaks into town to see me blah blah blah"........

Tell her to ***** off....change your phone number....don't go online and talk too her........change your address in Bangkok.....

Then lift your chin up....take a walk down the street..........open your eyes.........and your mind.........and start again.

There are plenty of good thai women around...that don't have maggot families trying to feed now and in the future off a foreigners carcass

[lucjoker]

If you want a thai lady for a night :go to a bar ,plenty there .

If you want a thai wife ,dont go to a bar ,go to a Big C,plenty nice educated ladies there.

You can see them every day (dating) ,just have to walk in there and speak to them .

After contact,let them keep their job for a wile ,so they know what you have to do to earn

honest money.

If it gets serious ,offer her a job as caretaker in your house and pay her double wages .(cant be much,and your house is clean)

If she talks about ,money for her parents ,tell her you dont have a job for them .(money doesn't come free remember)Suggests the parent go ask money

from her first employer (Big C),he might have a job and is more wealthy than you !

Then kick her out because "the crisis" is coming. (at surely was coming ,lol )

Did you meet you man/lady in a 'BigC' ?

No, in Food land (open 24/24!)

And you ? Took one of a bar?Could work,but the chance is small.

Take a lady with no babies ,never married and does not speak 1 word of english ,You will be very happy for this later.

[transam]

If you want a thai lady for a night :go to a bar ,plenty there .

If you want a thai wife ,dont go to a bar ,go to a Big C,plenty nice educated ladies there.

You can see them every day (dating) ,just have to walk in there and speak to them .

After contact,let them keep their job for a wile ,so they know what you have to do to earn

honest money.

If it gets serious ,offer her a job as caretaker in your house and pay her double wages .(cant be much,and your house is clean)

If she talks about ,money for her parents ,tell her you dont have a job for them .(money doesn't come free remember)Suggests the parent go ask money

from her first employer (Big C),he might have a job and is more wealthy than you !

Then kick her out because "the crisis" is coming. (at surely was coming ,lol )

Did you meet you man/lady in a 'BigC' ?

No, in Food land (open 24/24!)

And you ? Took one of a bar?Could work,but the chance is small.

Take a lady with no babies ,never married and does not speak 1 word of english ,You will be very happy for this later.

I don't understand a single word of that. Try again, theres a good chap.........

[nottocus]

There are plenty of good thai women around...that don't have maggot families trying to feed now and in the future off a foreigners carcass

I like it…especially the idea that he is a walking carcass at the moment.

[EASYDOGG]

Firstly OP, I do apologise because I stopped reading when the father started making demands. If you haven't run now you are a mug. They seem to think you are a 'typical Farang' and will play the field and go off with another girl, so all they care about is the money and getting what they can out of you. It's a lack of respect and will not change with a ring on her finger.

Move out. Get to know the country, date other girls, and be free of their nonsense. There are lots of 'easier' girls to date.

[belg]

hahaha, this is going to be another 23 page troll story of the week / month !

sending money , paying bills for a girl you never met / shagged ?

would you do this for a girl in your home country ?

run forest, run !!!!!!!!!!!!!

a troll a week keeps us as happy as all those thais watching their daily soaps

[tekNique]

It not me, I had photographic and video evidence for mine. Even I think this one sounds made up, I didn't even give mine any money or anything till I had actually been with her for 2 weeks.

[Tywais]

A post with improper quote and reply to it removed.

[slipperylobster]

I met my gal 3 years ago. We came up with a way to work out things, so that neither one of us looked liked idiots to the local community and family.

She chose to live with me, I did not ask...but neither did I refuse. That was a good thing.

I asked her to leave her job, so I support her in the same manner as if she never left. She puts half of her allowance in her savings and half in mine. After 3 years, she accumulation 140,000 baht...enough for a down payment on a new car. (both accounts together). She is now the proud owner, and I, the happy seat cover. Half the payments come from her monthly allotments....I make up the difference.

Who knows the future..? and why squabble. We enjoy the vehicle together, and should our relationship ever come to term, she will just take over payments.

This all being mentioned as a viable alternative to sin sot. Her face is as big as a full moon on a starry night....and the family are all in smiles.

[ozyjon]

I was with a girl like that once, i bought the ring, i gave some money but when they wanted me to pay for the fathers motor bike petrol i laughed out very loud and they wanted me to pay a monthly allowance to the family, i (was living with the girl at the time) i thought, this is coming to an end so i bought the Viagra and did the exercise 24/7 then over a period of about 2 weeks drained my bank account to the point i showed them my bank book ans said "look i have no money, now you take care of me" i was kicked out the next day, never looked back, issan lady calls me, texts me but i no reply, before you and after you there are MANY, one way to really know is if you live in the village long time and really see what goes on, a lovely lady that has a new guy ever few weeks,, they are all playing the game and so am i.

[taksin80]

forget her and dont lose more money, or you are going to be the stupid farang forever, you dont need to pay nothing for

people asking money like this

[BlackJack]

Once u start teaching i bet u that u will meet a nice female teacher

The ones u meet on the internet are phishing

[Grindting]

I met my gal 3 years ago. We came up with a way to work out things, so that neither one of us looked liked idiots to the local community and family.

Talking about satisfying the family for tradition sake etc.

Im 29, divorced from a thai 6 years ago (yes.. Very young and stupid at the time, but I have no regrets and I had nothing to lose, plus I wouldn't be where I am today without that bizarre experience in my life)

My current partner of 3 years (Indonesian) and I are getting married next month. She is quite progressive and modern for the average Indonesian which is why we get along so well. Neither of us care about weddings or face saving, and we decided to spend our 'wedding budget' on 5 months back packing across Asia (Jakarta to New Delhi).

But not being utterly selfish we have made an allowance to take my close family in london out to dinner on the wedding day (registration office), which my parents will probably not let me pay the bill knowing them. And we are having a garden party in my parents place for all my family and friends next year when we come back; I'll get a couple of cases of beer and wine but people on the whole will bring a bottle and we supply the BBQ. We will all still dress up for the occasion. My parents are very modest and my dad is still a bit of a hippy and is very happy for us to travel like they did instead of splash out on 1 day.

My partners family (parents separated) in indonesia are also absolute diamonds. Father in law only cares about us being blessed by the imam in the mosque. I'm not a Muslim (which he knows) and we are not having an official wedding Indonesia, so it's all absolutely fine to just go for the Islamic vows. He gets to show his daughter is in a 'halal' relationship in front of his side of the family so he doesn't lose face. So that's an easy one, we rent some traditional clothes for the day and show up to the mosque (small donation) do our bits and pieces and then done.

Mother on the other hand is more complicated. She is the face saving type. She knows we are not big spenders and we want to buy a bigger place to live in london for our future family, However, she suggested (requested) at the ceremony to provide about $50,000 of her gold collection, and I am to present it to my partner (like a sinsot). Then immediately after the ceremony she'll take the whole lot back. It gives the impression to the rest of the family that her most beautiful daughter has married a very rich guy, Perfect result for her. She is also giving us wedding rings which I am very grateful for.. I have no idea what they're gonna look like but I'll be proud to wear it.

Similar to what I did with my parents, we will book a nice restaurant for the close family and pay for that. Although there will be a lot more of them, it's vastly cheaper for a nice restaurant in Indonesia.

These 2 events will make everyone happy and doesn't cost us hardly a bean. So why not

Then we'll be off on our adventure. Everyone's happy

Edited May 10, 2014 by Grindting

[wvavin]

You are simply being taken for a ride, my dear friend. Its not going to work. The next moment you will see yourself ended up with nothing. Please bring back your sanity. Its very simple to say no!

[Greg Nixon]

Run, run fast. Thais believe all Farangs are very rich and will take everything you have and will not be satisfied until they see you struggling like they are.

Draw the line with your girlfriend and do not budge. If she loves you will will soon find out. If you are meal ticket you will also know.

I do not mind contributing when it increases my comfort as well. A nice home that I continually upgrade with paint and tile and a new kitchen. A truck that I drive. A big refrigerator. A new microwave. A motorbike. A vacuum cleaner. A hot water shower heater. New furniture. These are all things that i had in my country and increase my comfort here as well as my family's comfort .

I do resent being expected to giving money to mourning relatives of my wife. I resent paying for labor on my father in laws farm.

If there are things you do not wish to pay for absent yourself from the activity. After all does your girlfriend contribute to your family? If she says an aunt died you say my brother's daughter is attending University and could her family please contribute. Tit for tat every time. She will get the message.

[jimbeam1]

Another absurd troll.

How many pages will this go on for? Up to all of you.

I'm out.

Regards,

arunsakda

Fully agree or he needs a check up from the neck up.

jb1

[kovaltech]

Sin Sod, the dowry for the girl and some Gold is more or less normal and usually higher with a Falang, your sums seem not to high,

the immediately house building, buying and purchase of a car is not so common awaited in short time. But sure appreciated!

To take care of the family of wife, is common at least in some ways and in affordable borders!

So if she is a traditional Thai, some of that what she and her family asks for, is common practice in many families here in Thailand.

Special in rural Issan.

So find a consensus in a discussion, if you feel its worth the effort.

It is common practice because fools pay it.They should be paying us for marrying below our status.Tell em,plenty of fish in that Thai sea,and walk.You have been here 6 weeks you say,you have to run the game,your way.

Ever been on a Thai -Thai engagement ceremony ?

The negotiating for the dowry between the 2 family's ?

All the to do's and the don't s?

100K is nothing, just an honest number...

The ring also, nothing special

Buying land, build house, car... family business... nothing special...

Also depending the living surroundings of the family, how many sisters she has etc...

Supporting the family is also normal, within limits...

OP not to worry for the tradition...

Are you willing to mary her or any other lady in Thailand ?

then follow the rules...

You can't negotiate about the wedding with her father, but you can negotiate a time frame to do the rest...

[belg]

thailand, the country where it is seen normal that mom/daddy pimp out their daughters... but why do their sons not support them ? because they are sitting in the same lazy couch, waiting for the girl to bring in the money, so they can gamble, drink & whore

[manhood]

Well sorry guys: if i read things like that i ask myself if most of the farangs lost their brain while entering Thailand!!!!!!!!!

Would you do ever support a family in Europe or North America demanding all everything from you what you will never ever be able to support!

And this should be calles LOVE!!!!!!

Please use your brain and stay away from this <deleted> stuff here in Thailand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Otherwise : take it but dont blame and get ripped of but dont ask the social system in your country to ask for anything by looseing all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Grindting]

Sin Sod, the dowry for the girl and some Gold is more or less normal and usually higher with a Falang, your sums seem not to high,

the immediately house building, buying and purchase of a car is not so common awaited in short time. But sure appreciated!

To take care of the family of wife, is common at least in some ways and in affordable borders!

So if she is a traditional Thai, some of that what she and her family asks for, is common practice in many families here in Thailand.

Special in rural Issan.

So find a consensus in a discussion, if you feel its worth the effort.

It is common practice because fools pay it.They should be paying us for marrying below our status.Tell em,plenty of fish in that Thai sea,and walk.You have been here 6 weeks you say,you have to run the game,your way.

Ever been on a Thai -Thai engagement ceremony ?

The negotiating for the dowry between the 2 family's ?

All the to do's and the don't s?

100K is nothing, just an honest number...

The ring also, nothing special

Buying land, build house, car... family business... nothing special...

Also depending the living surroundings of the family, how many sisters she has etc...

Supporting the family is also normal, within limits...

OP not to worry for the tradition...

Are you willing to mary her or any other lady in Thailand ?

then follow the rules...

You can't negotiate about the wedding with her father, but you can negotiate a time frame to do the rest...

These sound like the rules and guidance limited to only a run of the mill farang man marrying a farm girl 30 years his jr.

Negotiation between 2 families? What average thai man in Isan has 100k+ sitting around?. What thai man in all of Thailand would pay anywhere near that, if anything, for a farm girl who has a kid or kids and sponging parents? What a load of bullshit. The thai man would run! The clueless farang is the one who pays and everyone in the extended family is having a jolly good time at his expense.

[mrfaroukh]

If you fell better you are not the first one. I really don't understand how a well educated people like you fall for these scams. No wonder when we do not give them the money they don't deserve they call us Kinio, means cheap charlie. I always tell them it is better to be cheap charlie than stupid.

My advise pack your luggage and go back to your country because you still too young for this place.

[ALFREDO]

I've spent some time in Thailand and I've never had any problems with the girls, to be honest they don't come near me

If you have been here in Thailand for "some" time and never had any problems with the girls

and they not even come near you, than,

you probably much to old, to ugly, uninterested in girls-women, a loner, like men or Kathoys, are impotent, a monk or?

I try not to spend too much time in any one spot. Girls are very good at working on our inner weaknesses, especially when we've got nothing to do, so take up an activity like running, bike riding or walking etc, and if they want to pursue then they can, but don't and loose interest pretty quick. The word gets around, they know who who the suckers are, the secret is not to be one.

Ok, thank you for clearing things up.

[ALFREDO]

It not me, I had photographic and video evidence for mine. Even I think this one sounds made up, I didn't even give mine any money or anything till I had actually been with her for 2 weeks.

Wauw

[ALFREDO]

Ever been on a Thai -Thai engagement ceremony ?

The negotiating for the dowry between the 2 family's ?

All the to do's and the don't s?

100K is nothing, just an honest number...

The ring also, nothing special

Buying land, build house, car... family business... nothing special...

Also depending the living surroundings of the family, how many sisters she has etc...

Supporting the family is also normal, within limits...

OP not to worry for the tradition...

Are you willing to mary her or any other lady in Thailand ?

then follow the rules...

You can't negotiate about the wedding with her father, but you can negotiate a time frame to do the rest...

These sound like the rules and guidance limited to only a run of the mill farang man marrying a farm girl 30 years his jr.

Negotiation between 2 families? What average thai man in Isan has 100k+ sitting around?. What thai man in all of Thailand would pay anywhere near that, if anything, for a farm girl who has a kid or kids and sponging parents? What a load of bullshit. The thai man would run! The clueless farang is the one who pays and everyone in the extended family is having a jolly good time at his expense.

I cannot recall, that anybody proposed to pay =Sin Sot for Ex married woman with kid or kids!=

But -Grindting- = clueless, that is the right word for your attitude, in that matter.

[Grindting]

Ever been on a Thai -Thai engagement ceremony ?

The negotiating for the dowry between the 2 family's ?

All the to do's and the don't s?

100K is nothing, just an honest number...

The ring also, nothing special

Buying land, build house, car... family business... nothing special...

Also depending the living surroundings of the family, how many sisters she has etc...

Supporting the family is also normal, within limits...

OP not to worry for the tradition...

Are you willing to mary her or any other lady in Thailand ?

then follow the rules...

You can't negotiate about the wedding with her father, but you can negotiate a time frame to do the rest...

These sound like the rules and guidance limited to only a run of the mill farang man marrying a farm girl 30 years his jr.

Negotiation between 2 families? What average thai man in Isan has 100k+ sitting around?. What thai man in all of Thailand would pay anywhere near that, if anything, for a farm girl who has a kid or kids and sponging parents? What a load of bullshit. The thai man would run! The clueless farang is the one who pays and everyone in the extended family is having a jolly good time at his expense.

I cannot recall, that anybody proposed to pay =Sin Sot for Ex married woman with kid or kids!=

But -Grindting- = clueless, that is the right word for your attitude, in that matter.

You obviously haven't been following this forum very closely then if you think a large number of western guys who frequent Thailand are not paying for exactly that.