Is it appropriate to tell a farang tourist that their behavior is inappropriate?

[Old Stud]

I live in Chaing Mai and pretty much mind my own business. Chiang Mai is Buddhist country and even during Songkran at 40 degrees you don't see a Thai man without a shirt on. 95% of the men wear long pants all the time. Today in the restaurant I frequent, two twenty something westerners came in to eat wearing bathing suits, no shirts. Even I thought it was pretty darn rude. These guys were totally unaware they were doing anything wrong. I bit my tongue. And kept thinking - mind your own business, you're not a farang cop. But I didn't like it. Same when I go to the Sunday market. There are no smoking signs around and a posted 2000baht fine, and you would never see Thai smoking a cigarette. But there they are - the dumb farangs smoking and drinking beer. I have even seen some smoking and drinking without shirts on. It's so hard not to say anything, because I live here and I think if the Thai's see these farangs as pigs, then it becomes easier to lump us all as pigs. Should I say something or just leave it alone?

[tgeezer]

Not much you can say, they don't realize that they are doing anything unusual, in fact they probably think that people are admiring their physique and would be upset if you pointed out that it was unacceptable. In olden days people didn't wear shirts, so 'shirtless' is probably more sensible than Western clothes. Why not see it as harking back to the old values and look forward to females following suit!

[marko kok prong]

It is innapropriate,would they do this in their own country,i doubt it,but to say something,well you could end up being attacked,i understand also the last bit ,lumping us all as pigs,but if you are dressed okay and behave okay,well i don't think they would,but yes it is embarrasing to see this obvious lack of respect,if they are Europeans or from usa ect,they surely have a lonley planet guide book that would say this is not acceptable,they could be russian,in which case probably par for the course,and if they are Russian ,unadvisable to say anything to them.

[Sigurris]

Tourists are not expected to know all the mores and customs of every country they visit. Nor do they feel they need to conform to them. Thais understand this in the main and are pretty tolerant. There is no Sharia law here yet.

So why not put it down to people relaxing and letting their hair down while they are on holiday. After all thats what holidays are for.

If you find it so offensive try telling them and see how offended you are with the responses you get.

The mark of a gentleman is how he treats people who can do him no good. Samuel Johnson

[Eliot Rosewater]

You must have a pretty low opinion of Thais if you think they can't enforce their own rules or deal with offences themselves without a foreigner doing it for them.

I suggest you take you colonialist attitude and start packing

[obnoxious troll]

as a farang you are always a farang no better or worse is possible. get used to it. nothing you or any other farang do or dont do matters an iota.

[Civil War]

You must have a pretty low opinion of Thais if you think they can't enforce their own rules or deal with offences themselves without a foreigner doing it for them.

I suggest you take you colonialist attitude and start packing

That is a strange reply.

He has some valid points.

He is asking his own kind where the line is in the sand, I don't consider it colonialism. I don't even know why you brought that up.

I actually feel the same as him actually, although i choose not to point it out, I prefer the Thais make up their own mind about a situation like that, and judge them as individuals rather than generalising, which if we were all honest we also generalise against Thais from time to time.... I see no difference, so I don't worry about it.

I personally always look at a country's social conventions and the 'dos and don'ts' before i visit a different country and culture... But that is just me, not everyone does it.

I never cross my gate without a shirt as i understand it is considered a bit vulgar yet not in a serious sense. More in a gossipy sort of way and more among the women.'

I like to be shirtless inside my air con house, and at worst would sit outside in the garden to have the odd ciggy back when I smoked, and sometimes a few Thais may walk past the house and stare at me... But I consider what I do on my property is my choice... But if the Thai family appear, I quickly go and grab a shirt.... Just out of respect.

I wouldn't personally go over and tell them to put a shirt on, but if I ended up being drawn into their company and a chat with them, I may think about dropping it discretely into the conversation if they knew about how 'some' of the Thais feel about being half naked in public places while at the same time stressing it is totally their own choice, but just sort of letting them know on the quiet, and then give a little smile.... I would be very surprised if it were met with abuse, they would probably thank you for sharing your local knowledge... I know I would.

[marko kok prong]

You must have a pretty low opinion of Thais if you think they can't enforce their own rules or deal with offences themselves without a foreigner doing it for them.

I suggest you take you colonialist attitude and start packing

That is a strange reply.

He has some valid points.

He is asking his own kind where the line is in the sand, I don't consider it colonialism. I don't even know why you brought that up.

I actually feel the same as him actually, although i choose not to point it out, I prefer the Thais make up their own mind about a situation like that, and judge them as individuals rather than generalising, which if we were all honest we also generalise against Thais from time to time.... I see no difference, so I don't worry about it.

I personally always look at a country's social conventions and the 'dos and don'ts' before i visit a different country and culture... But that is just me, not everyone does it.

I never cross my gate without a shirt as i understand it is considered a bit vulgar yet not in a serious sense. More in a gossipy sort of way and more among the women.'

I like to be shirtless inside my air con house, and at worst would sit outside in the garden to have the odd ciggy back when I smoked, and sometimes a few Thais may walk past the house and stare at me... But I consider what I do on my property is my choice... But if the Thai family appear, I quickly go and grab a shirt.... Just out of respect.

I wouldn't personally go over and tell them to put a shirt on, but if I ended up being drawn into their company and a chat with them, I may think about dropping it discretely into the conversation if they knew about how 'some' of the Thais feel about being half naked in public places while at the same time stressing it is totally their own choice, but just sort of letting them know on the quiet, and then give a little smile.... I would be very surprised if it were met with abuse, they would probably thank you for sharing your local knowledge... I know I would.

I think Eliot,is in the more Thai than Thai brigade,you can usually tell when they end a post with,'you better start packing'

[h90]

Not much you can say, they don't realize that they are doing anything unusual, in fact they probably think that people are admiring their physique and would be upset if you pointed out that it was unacceptable. In olden days people didn't wear shirts, so 'shirtless' is probably more sensible than Western clothes. Why not see it as harking back to the old values and look forward to females following suit!

Well fat Germans are doing it as well and no one admiring their physique even such a belly must have cost a lot

[Thaiberius]

It isn't up to you to interfere.

[beb]

If you ever do mention it, do me a favor and remind them how to look both ways when they cross a street. Or how to cross a street in general. Seems like every day I almost nail some poor tourist who left their grade school street crossing lessons back home.

[CharlieH]

It does make me wonder if this , in part, explains the big difference to how ferangs are treated etc in tourist areas where the locals are exposed to such behaviour, and the more rural areas where they are not.

Go away from tourist paths and common tourist areas and generally the Thais you experience and their general demenour is vastly different.

Just a thought.

[Asia2000]

My mentor told me when I first arrived in Thailand : Live and let live.

In other words, don't judge, or attack others. Live your own life, and mind your own business.

The staff should had turned away the shirtless guys in the restaurant, even outside, according to Thai Do and Don't.

Life is too short anyway.

[Bluetongue]

Don't worry about the Thai's ability to differentiate between farangs, they will tell them if they go near a temple or a placewhere respect is required, in any case why would you want to confront them, life is too short man. Plus if you really

are old as per your moniker you may be offered violence, old flesh takes a long time to heal.

[connda]

I'm pretty sure that the OP's question has already been beat to death addressed in this still ongoing thread about shirtless men: http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/725031-men-going-shirtless-in-the-los-acceptable-or-not/

[stickylies]

mind your own biz...

[GuestHouse]

Get yourself to Luang Phrabang and observe the behaviour of Thai tourists around Laos Buddhist temples. Its a real eye-opener.

The film, the Ugly Bangkokian was well aimed.

[cms22]

If it was me who was the 20 something having a good time, I'd tell you to sling your hook. Or words to that effect

[Rumblecat]

You must have a pretty low opinion of Thais if you think they can't enforce their own rules or deal with offences themselves without a foreigner doing it for them.

I suggest you take you colonialist attitude and start packing

Lol, brilliant. A wee bit unsubtle but a pretty good parody of knee-jerk Thai Visa replies, the "pack your bags" at the end thing was an excellent touch but gave the game a way a little. Not bad though, had me going for a moment.

[daveAustin]

You must have a pretty low opinion of Thais if you think they can't enforce their own rules or deal with offences themselves without a foreigner doing it for them.

I suggest you take you colonialist attitude and start packing

Stupid reply all round. Colonialism pertains to going to other places to exploit and tell the natives how to do things. Op wants to put his own people right for the benefit of everyone. Grow a brain!

I'm with the op, very irksome seeing dunce farang go shirtless in the city. Best way to do it is to mention in passing that it is against the law to reveal moobs in public.

[YipYipYa123]

russian women go topless on the beach even though thats illegal too but i suppose i can suffer it ......

cant see the restaurant turning away a table full of paying customers because the guys have no shirts on either

especially considering they have probably made nothing from tourists in the last 6 months of general disorder

ad lack of tourism

[makkam]

Tourists are not expected to know all the mores and customs of every country they visit. Nor do they feel they need to conform to them. Thais understand this in the main and are pretty tolerant. There is no Sharia law here yet.

So why not put it down to people relaxing and letting their hair down while they are on holiday. After all thats what holidays are for.

If you find it so offensive try telling them and see how offended you are with the responses you get.

The mark of a gentleman is how he treats people who can do him no good. Samuel Johnson

So if you were sitting with your wife or mother (in law) and some boorish farang tourists came in shouting obscenities etc and were uttering comments to the fact that your female companions were bar ladies/prostitutes, that would be acceptable?

So why not put it down to people relaxing and letting their hair down while they are on holiday..as you quaintly put it.

Good manners and responsible behaviour are ( should be ) a given anywhere in the world.

Just because you flash your passport doesn't mean you should be granted carte blanche to be a pig!

[thailiketoo]

A. Yes you should have corrected them.

B. No you should not have corrected them.

C. Do nothing.

D. Thai people do worse things. (completely off topic but since this is what it is. )

To add a poll.

Edited May 16, 2014 by thailiketoo

[YipYipYa123]

Tourists are not expected to know all the mores and customs of every country they visit. Nor do they feel they need to conform to them. Thais understand this in the main and are pretty tolerant. There is no Sharia law here yet.

So why not put it down to people relaxing and letting their hair down while they are on holiday. After all thats what holidays are for.

If you find it so offensive try telling them and see how offended you are with the responses you get.

The mark of a gentleman is how he treats people who can do him no good. Samuel Johnson

So if you were sitting with your wife or mother (in law) and some boorish farang tourists came in shouting obscenities etc and were uttering comments to the fact that your female companions were bar ladies/prostitutes, that would be acceptable?

So why not put it down to people relaxing and letting their hair down while they are on holiday..as you quaintly put it.

Good manners and responsible behaviour are ( should be ) a given anywhere in the world.

Just because you flash your passport doesn't mean you should be granted carte blanche to be a pig!

did you just invent this part of the op's story on your own ?

i find it hard to believe they were shouting obscenities and calling all the thai women prostitutes but if they were

theres plenty of thai men that would take care of it ...........some in uniforms and some not

no need to act the superhero and police other tourists behaviour IMO

[bobo42]

So many negative responses to the OP here. I am always amazed at the level of "culture" displayed on Thaivisa. We never fail to achieve new lows.

To answer your question, should you tell them? Depends. If they seem like they are just clueless, then sure, why not? Obviously they're not required to listen, but if they are genuinely ignorant of the issue, just letting them know in a friendly manner might be helpful to them. Of course, if its just a group of asshats, then just ignore them and go about your business, they won't listen to you anyway. No reason to waste your time on people who are acting out on-purpose.

Why would everybody be so negative about politely letting somebody know about ther behaviour? How about introducing yourself, and if you feel like it'll do some good, just tell them - so maybe they will know in the future? Obviously this won't work in most cases (drunk people, people knowingly doing something rude), but particularly if the person/people are friendly, wouldn't it be better to give them a good tip to help them in the future? If I was doing something wrong, I would want somebody to tell me.

[Sigurris]

Tourists are not expected to know all the mores and customs of every country they visit. Nor do they feel they need to conform to them. Thais understand this in the main and are pretty tolerant. There is no Sharia law here yet.

So why not put it down to people relaxing and letting their hair down while they are on holiday. After all thats what holidays are for.

If you find it so offensive try telling them and see how offended you are with the responses you get.

The mark of a gentleman is how he treats people who can do him no good. Samuel Johnson

So if you were sitting with your wife or mother (in law) and some boorish farang tourists came in shouting obscenities etc and were uttering comments to the fact that your female companions were bar ladies/prostitutes, that would be acceptable?

So why not put it down to people relaxing and letting their hair down while they are on holiday..as you quaintly put it.

Good manners and responsible behaviour are ( should be ) a given anywhere in the world.

Just because you flash your passport doesn't mean you should be granted carte blanche to be a pig!

Thats a stretch isn't it? 2 guys eating without shirts to a group of yobs telling me my wife is a whore???

Is there a world in which behaviour can be seen as a spectrum not as black or white? You polarism does you no favours. I was answering a particular point and that point only. Had the subject been about all inappropriate behaviour you would be justified in your little dig.

Stop picking arguments where there is none and seeing fault where it doesn't exist.

[Rorri]

BS post, I've seen plenty of young Thais wearing long shorts, no shirts, have seen many Thais totally ignoring "No Smoking" signs... What is wrong with the OP to target only Farang. Seems blind to the truth.

[Soutpeel]

I suspect the OP is just miffed because they never came over to offer him a cigarette and buy him a beer, and is jealous because all the Thai ladies where looking at the young guys with no shirts on and ignoring him

[Estrada]

Question: "Is it appropriate to tell a farang tourist that their behavior is inappropriate?"

Answer: No, as a smack in the face might offend!

[connda]

Any concept of "proper dress" has been changed by Western colonial influence and the influences of the West's dominate religion, i.e., Christianity. No sooner than the first missionaries show up that the dress of the locals must conform to Western rules of modesty. As those in power embraced Western traditions, their subordinates were eventually force to do the same.

So any concept of Thai modesty in dress is simply a reflection of the effect of imperial colonialism. Imperialist don't need to take the country over, all they need to do is change the culture.

So now we have puritanical farangs bringing their puritanical values over to a country that has been thoroughly Westernized, and then using the excuse that Thais are very modest and reserved in their manner of dress (which they were not prior to the creeping influence of Western colonialists and Christian missionaries) to justify your own sense of self-righteousness and shock over shirtless men. Thais are not the only thing amazing about Amazing Thailand.

And my the way OP. Keep it to yourself. You're not the morality police.

Edited May 16, 2014 by connda