divorcing and soon to be ex wife wants me to pay 20k a month after kicking me out of our company.

[bkkheat]

Ok,

We had a company together and after I decided to leave for personal reasons, we have agreed to divorce which she then kicked me out of our company which I'm fine with.

She is asking me for 20K a month for our 4 year old daughter, she goes to a local Thai school which is 30k a semester plus books.

I offered her 10k per month plus 50% school fees and medical fees as I'm not employed yet and won't start a business until after the divorce goes through, but I said I will pay 100% of school fees and medical fees when I get my business up and running again.

I thought it was a fair deal, but she wants nothing less of 20k a month....So I said if she wants to take it to court, I will go for 5K a month plus 50% on school and medical.

Am I being reasonable? If she takes me to court on this, do you think she has a good shot at winning since I have no job at present?

[Bkungbank]

From my personal view, just do what ever you can best but your responsible been a father is forever, if really can't afford private school go to government school there are many famous government school here in Thailand,

She should understand that you don't have job now for few months she should bare as she is taking over the company that you and her setup together.

Out court settlement was better here in Thailand.

[harrry]

Divorce means you are entitled to 50% of assets...you own half of her share of the company. Is she forgetting that?

Court will not award anywhere near 10000 for the child. More like 3000 plus shared education costs.

Edited May 20, 2014 by harrry

[bkkheat]

I said she can have the company as I would like for her to continue making money as she will be looking after our daughter most of the time. A

I'm not battling for custody as I said as long as I can talk to her on the phone any day and see her once a week I'm fine as I think kids have a better bond with there mothers and she is a really good mother to her.

I just think 20k a month for 1 child is way too much, my brother is paying less than that for 2 kids in Australia.

But if she wants to take it to court, i will. But i will go for 5 K a month if she doesnt agree out of court for 10k... Although I will probably still.buy her clothes and thing.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Don't participate in anything she initiates.

No divorce, no custody, no giving away a business.

Just leave, then next year she will agree to whatever you want.

Her life will be on hold for up to 3 years, and during that time you have to pay, nothing.

Unless you are legally working in Thailand, Thai court can't make you pay anything at all, ever.

Edited May 20, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[harrry]

I said she can have the company as I would like for her to continue making money as she will be looking after our daughter most of the time. A

I'm not battling for custody as I said as long as I can talk to her on the phone any day and see her once a week I'm fine as I think kids have a better bond with there mothers and she is a really good mother to her.

I just think 20k a month for 1 child is way too much, my brother is paying less than that for 2 kids in Australia.

But if she wants to take it to court, i will. But i will go for 5 K a month if she doesnt agree out of court for 10k... Although I will probably still.buy her clothes and thing.

What you do about the share is your afair after the case but if I were you I would keep every bargaining chip up your sleve. She is not being nice with you. You do not have to be with her. Of course after she signs the agreement to give you half her assets including the company nothing stops you giving them back to her if you want to. Just remember it is not the kid that will benifit.

[bkkheat]

I don't want to wait on the divorce, I want it asap as myself and 2 other partners have just started a company but we agreed my name is not going on it until the divorce happens, just incase she wants to try claim some if it.

So I am legally unemployed at present with a education visa.

But I am just don't want to give her what she wants. 20K is outragous, especially if I pay for all school and medical fees.

I want to pay for the child, not her.

I just want to know what are her chances at winning in court asking for 20k a month? Any similar stories?

[bkkheat]

Sorry my auto spell check is making it hard to read my posts

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I just want to know what are her chances at winning in court asking for 20k a month? Any similar stories?

Nil, court will award 3000bht/month.

(and they don't enforce payment)

Edited May 20, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[inzman]

Spot on, an unemployed father will be asked to pay a minimum amount of approximately 3000 baht. This is Thailand, wages and expenses are low. She can ask for the moon, but won't get it, greedy I think.

[apiwan]

I want to pay for the child, not her.

I just want to know what are her chances at winning in court asking for 20k a month? Any similar stories?

Nobody will win. And almost certainly your daughter will lose big time.

You did say that being with mommy is better for her.

So if you believe mom is a good mom. And not a gambling . Sleep around alcoholic.

Why shouldn't mom get some of the 20 K ?

Your arguing over 150K = about under 3 K GBP per year

If she keeps the company and she's a good mom try 15K and school fees. Seems right .

But remember .she is still your daughter.

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Kangaroo29]

agree to 20k until you get what you want then reduce it by saying your buffalo is sick and needs doctor monthly. always let them think they win.

[travelerjim]

bkkheat,

Pardon me...

You already have some good replies posted above...very good advice!

Yet ....you keep on wanting us to tell you ....what you want to hear.

Follow the good advice ...or don't ask...

Do what you want to do...Up to You.

Good Luck,

tj

[bobo42]

My advice would be, do not enter into any agreement with her at all. Simply pay whatever you think is good for your daughter, on an as-needed basis, and keep a detailed record of whatever you give and what it was for. Your only possible problem with the courts is if your ex wife lies and accuses you of some wrong-doing. Gather as much evidence as possible to show that your relationship with your daughter is a healthy one, and that you are actively caring for her. Keep as much documentary, photographic or video evidence as possible - make sure you have something to show if your situation devolves into a he-said/she-said battle in court. The reality is, if she takes you to court for child support or custody, she would most likely be awarded little or no money, and joint custody with you - unless there are some other circumstances involved.

If you don't voluntarily surrender your joint marital assets, you are entitled to 50% of those, which could surely be used as a bargaining chip if you don't want them (but she does). I think it sounds like you are just letting her have her way with you, you don't need to. Just do nothing and wait for her next move, and keep documenting everything - every interaction with your wife or child, and any related matters.

[shirtless]

Look if she has her own income that you have helped create and you are quite happy to let her have all of this, she will be financially better off than you, so just let the divorce proceed and help your child by paying medical and some of the education dont let her bleed you, because she will given the chance if she is not happy with that let her go to court.

[I Like Thai]

I just want to know what are her chances at winning in court asking for 20k a month? Any similar stories?

Nil, court will award 3000bht/month.

(and they don't enforce payment)

and his child can eat grass i suppose.

[chickenslegs]

Approximately how much per month was it costing to raise your daughter before the marital problems occurred?

This would be the starting point for any negotiation, as it would not be fair for your daughter to suffer a substantial loss in her standard of living.

It would also be unfair to expect you to fund a substantial increase in her mother's standard of living.

Also, you can maybe consider setting up a fund for future expenses, such as college.

[elgordo38]

Sounds like falang founded company built it up to the point of profitability and then his Thai wife kicks him out and takes over the reins. Heard this sad story many times

[Bangel72]

It would be very unfortunate to put the child at the center of your separation, it is probably worth if it is not too complicated to sit down with a couple of lawyers and give you both a ballpark of what the marital asset split would be, they will also be able to give you a legal ballpark on child maintenance.

If you had sole guardianship of the child, how much do you think it would cost you?, You want to work, you probably need a part time baby sitter, you want to go for a beer at the weekend, there's that babysitter again, will you need to change your plan from the one bed bachelor pad to two beds, at that age they grow out of clothes every couple of months, these costs add up.

Both of these exercises are not really advising what you should do as that is a very personal decision between the two of you which would include emotions and best interests of the child, but it should ensure you both have a bit more realistic view of costs and if someone makes a compromise it is appreciated as a compromise, all parties may just come out of it doing the right thing.

[kingstonkid]

I know of very few Thai fathers that are paying much in support.

I think your biggest problem would be with immigration. If you are no longer working what are you on for a visa.

If she reports you what do you do?

As to your daughter i think you will find that she will be poisoned against you.

[harrry]

I would play as hardball as needed and give the minimum. I would then make some way of putting the balance of the money in some form (trusts are not allowed herre but you could have one in your own country) for your daughter to be paid for her universitiy at entrance and the balance to be recieved by her on succesful graduation.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I just want to know what are her chances at winning in court asking for 20k a month? Any similar stories?

Nil, court will award 3000bht/month.

(and they don't enforce payment)

and his child can eat grass i suppose.

I have an elderly Aunt, living in our old village, to whom I give 3,000bht a month to live on. (Yes, I'm sponsoring a Thai lady)

She is looked on by most of the village as wealthy, 3k is plenty to live on in rural Thailand, assuming accomodation already provided.

[PattayaPhom]

Local Thai school 30k semester, even EP programme is less. Already taking you for a ride

[Ulic]

You are being more than fare. But I would ask for joint custody, up to you.

[sirchai]

Ok,
We had a company together and after I decided to leave for personal reasons, we have agreed to divorce which she then kicked me out of our company which I'm fine with.

Forget the company, as it's already past.. Doesn't really matter, if she kicked you out, or you went by your own. The fact that you wrote it was both of your's company, seems to be the answer.Then, I'd assume you'd spent some money as well. Tell her to give you all back.

She is asking me for 20K a month for our 4 year old daughter, she goes to a local Thai school which is 30k a semester plus books.

One semester is only from middle of May to end of September. She could ask for a million baht, but you're the one with the power, also called money, or cash. 10 K a month under these circumstances will be more than enough, as she seems to still have "her?" business..

I offered her 10k per month plus 50% school fees and medical fees as I'm not employed yet and won't start a business until after the divorce goes through, but I said I will pay 100% of school fees and medical fees when I get my business up and running again.

There're no medical fees, they got their insurance with full coverage. Don't believe in lies, please.

Just give her 10 K/month, no 50 % of anything else. and let her know that you've got the better lawyer, in this case. from a TVF member.. ( I can get you a decent, honest and cheap one and hook you u with him).Had the same problem with another foreigner, using that lawyer and she had less money a month, the foreigner was offering her.

I thought it was a fair deal, but she wants nothing less of 20k a month....So I said if she wants to take it to court, I will go for 5K a month plus 50% on school and medical.

If you've got nothing to hide, you won't have anything to loose. But maybe your Ex.....

Am I being reasonable? If she takes me to court on this, do you think she has a good shot at winning since I have no job at present?

You're the jobless foreigner, and she's the business woman. Guess who'll walk out with a big smile in HIS face?

Please don't argue in front of your child, because kids are innocent. Do all to give her the best lesson she ever had. If you need the lawyer's address and phone number, please page me.

A piece of cake.Good lick from lower northeast! Cheers-

Edited May 20, 2014 by sirchai

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Local Thai school 30k semester, even EP programme is less. Already taking you for a ride

I missed that one, just paid the fees for my niece (high school year 4), less than 10K for clothes, shoes, books, extras.

That's for the year, maybe a couple of k next term.

60K is way over the top for a government school.

[kurnell]

I can only dream of paying only 20k per month

[Pralaad]

At the end of the day, it is not what she wants but what you can afford.

It is also your child, so personally since she is not willing to be reasonable, pay 100% school fees, get medical insurance for your daughter, agree to buy her clothing or anything else daughter needs. give wife nothing,ZERO.

If there are some unexpected costs relating to your daughter, tell your wife to either notify you in advance so you can pay directly to seller.supplier or have proper official invoice.

[thamteak]

Send her two things:

1) A photocopy of an airline ticket in your name leaving from BKK.

2) A fair offer for your monthly payments and entitlements - Full fees paid for her schooling at a local Thai school, health insurance, and 100b p/d.

Edited May 20, 2014 by thamteak

[Sandman77]

I don't know anything about the Thai law, but when you have no income

What a Lawer can do nothing,can he take saving money from Thai bank I don't know!

I can only tell a similar story a good friend married with Thai wife in the eu 25 year , In meantime she leave him for long time got game addicted ,

He took here over with 3 children after he married she she tell I have 3 children before married was only one !

Usually money addicted proberbly paranoia thaiwife , he told me are organized in groups with other this woman together , knows the laws in detail better then the husband itself

Often have there own lawyer!

Here in Thailand , I not would spend your money to a court that proberbly not help!

Ask your dauther where she want stay ,when she want go with you

Maybe you leave Thailand I think it's better ,before you have bad luck same my friend!

After he sale his house and land, and not share the money she Smashed him the tooths!,since this happen I never hear something from my friend anymore phone closed connection lost but I never will forget the good time we have together over years!

Good luck!