Short Term Monk for step son -party costs etc?

[Neeranam]

Bunch of people responding here with the proverbial "Thai wife taking the piss with falang husband" line of thought. I'd say the wife is probably not trying to cheat you out of money, she just wants a big party with big face to show. Consider the following:

Do Thai people spend this much if their kids are going to be monks for a short time?

If they are wealthy, yes they do. I'm sure there are plenty of well-to-do Thai families that spend far more. I've seen people spend more for less reason.

Is it typical to do that much, especially for a short-term?

I don't think so. Where I'm from "typical" is a pickup-truck ride through town blasting music along the way, and some drinking and partying, but its not usually extravagant. All the ones I've been to seemed "simple", but I don't usually run with a rich crowd. I've seen some people spend big cash on this.

Should you do it?

Your choice. I don't think you're a sucker if you do it, it really depends on your income level - and how much you care about letting your wife have face (or depriving her of such). Personally I wouldn't do it, but 100k is a non-trivial amount for me, so its not something I can throw away for "village prestige". However, if the cost is relatively trivial to you, then hey, let your wife have her party - have a good time, it'll probably be fun.

Once again, another guy that has totally missed the point. This has got nothing to do with the farang, this is a Thai family matter.

Is there anyone here prepared to admit that they paid for this event and didn't receive the donations?

What do you think the donations are for?

Has the penny dropped now?

.................................................................................................................

To address you directly, sir. The village really loves your type - you think you are buying admiration - you are buying scorn. You are the laughing stock of the village, trying to by village prestige. Even more so when the donations are carved up under your nose.

Do you think a Thai father would allow that?

Do you think a Thai father would allow that gross insult to stand?

Do you even think that anyone would try it against a Thai father?

Never - but they'll do it to you as your a clown farang. To make it even worse, you boast about it. I'm embarrassed for you.

Are you illiterate? Who are you responding to?

He does have a point. When one foreigners acts like a clown it makes it bad for the rest of us. Just because 100,000 k is nothing for someone doesn't mean they should give it and be laughed at.

[mania]

Once again, another guy that has totally missed the point.

This has got nothing to do with the farang, this is a Thai family matter.

Are you illiterate? Who are you responding to?

Don't waste your time your talking with this type

It would be easier to squeeze a camel thru the eye of a needle

It is obvious while some marry anywhere in the world & consider

their wife's family now a part of their own family

This one does not since they are a different nationalities with different customs

& therein lies the sad truth of many falang/Thai marriages here.

Feel sorry for their wives. These types marry below the waist but that is all.

PS: this has nothing to do with amounts spent I am addressing the zero's above comment only

things like this regardless of nationality of each partner is something to discuss between

husband & wife period.

Edited June 9, 2014 by mania

[Strangebrew]

Welcome to Bank of Farang ATM world Look it is only money you chose to marry a Thai woman this is what comes with it after you are a rich Farang just pay enjoy the party and move on.

[thailiketoo]

Welcome to Bank of Farang ATM world Look it is only money you chose to marry a Thai woman this is what comes with it after you are a rich Farang just pay enjoy the party and move on.

I'm sure you are speaking of your own experiences but you might want to say that. Something like IMHO or IME. Because, fellow, you are not speaking for me.

[Gandtee]

When my wife and I got married many moons ago it cost me the price of a family meal. My nephew became a monk a few weeks ago and once again it was a simple family and close friends occasion. This last weekend the local neighbours son became a monk and they had all the the trimmings. A pickup truck with the Boom box Ghetto blasters which rattled our windows, Karaoke through the night, until it petered out when the participants legs went wobbly.

In the end, these ceremonies are like some Western weddings, all about face. If you are not concerned with face, then don't fork out a lot of dosh,and accept being called a cheapskate. To pay out a lot of money is as my wife says "Like pounding the chillies and feeding it to the river". I suppose it all depends on the locality where you live. If a big do is the norm, it will be a bit difficult not to conform.

[Pattszero]

Bunch of people responding here with the proverbial "Thai wife taking the piss with falang husband" line of thought. I'd say the wife is probably not trying to cheat you out of money, she just wants a big party with big face to show. Consider the following:

Do Thai people spend this much if their kids are going to be monks for a short time?

If they are wealthy, yes they do. I'm sure there are plenty of well-to-do Thai families that spend far more. I've seen people spend more for less reason.

Is it typical to do that much, especially for a short-term?

I don't think so. Where I'm from "typical" is a pickup-truck ride through town blasting music along the way, and some drinking and partying, but its not usually extravagant. All the ones I've been to seemed "simple", but I don't usually run with a rich crowd. I've seen some people spend big cash on this.

Should you do it?

Your choice. I don't think you're a sucker if you do it, it really depends on your income level - and how much you care about letting your wife have face (or depriving her of such). Personally I wouldn't do it, but 100k is a non-trivial amount for me, so its not something I can throw away for "village prestige". However, if the cost is relatively trivial to you, then hey, let your wife have her party - have a good time, it'll probably be fun.

Once again, another guy that has totally missed the point. This has got nothing to do with the farang, this is a Thai family matter.

Is there anyone here prepared to admit that they paid for this event and didn't receive the donations?

What do you think the donations are for?

Has the penny dropped now?

.................................................................................................................

To address you directly, sir. The village really loves your type - you think you are buying admiration - you are buying scorn. You are the laughing stock of the village, trying to by village prestige. Even more so when the donations are carved up under your nose.

Do you think a Thai father would allow that?

Do you think a Thai father would allow that gross insult to stand?

Do you even think that anyone would try it against a Thai father?

Never - but they'll do it to you as your a clown farang. To make it even worse, you boast about it. I'm embarrassed for you.

Are you illiterate? Who are you responding to?

Directly to you. What are you, the white god that swoops in and sprays money around the little brown masses?

Wanna have a party? Here's 100K - it's nothing to me. Have you ever for a minute stopped to think what the Thais think of this? They think its absurd - to be so wasteful, a disgrace. All you are displaying is the oh so typical attitude of far too many white men in this country.

You think you can buy love, you think you can buy respect, you think you can buy "prestige."

The only thing you buy is contempt. The problem is - you're to busy playing the part of Harry-Big-Cigar you can't see the truth. Guys like you will never see the truth.

I'm sorry to have blown your ego so wide apart. You don't know Thailand.

................................................................................................

[robblok]

Bunch of people responding here with the proverbial "Thai wife taking the piss with falang husband" line of thought. I'd say the wife is probably not trying to cheat you out of money, she just wants a big party with big face to show. Consider the following:

Do Thai people spend this much if their kids are going to be monks for a short time?

If they are wealthy, yes they do. I'm sure there are plenty of well-to-do Thai families that spend far more. I've seen people spend more for less reason.

Is it typical to do that much, especially for a short-term?

I don't think so. Where I'm from "typical" is a pickup-truck ride through town blasting music along the way, and some drinking and partying, but its not usually extravagant. All the ones I've been to seemed "simple", but I don't usually run with a rich crowd. I've seen some people spend big cash on this.

Should you do it?

Your choice. I don't think you're a sucker if you do it, it really depends on your income level - and how much you care about letting your wife have face (or depriving her of such). Personally I wouldn't do it, but 100k is a non-trivial amount for me, so its not something I can throw away for "village prestige". However, if the cost is relatively trivial to you, then hey, let your wife have her party - have a good time, it'll probably be fun.

Once again, another guy that has totally missed the point. This has got nothing to do with the farang, this is a Thai family matter.

Is there anyone here prepared to admit that they paid for this event and didn't receive the donations?

What do you think the donations are for?

Has the penny dropped now?

.................................................................................................................

To address you directly, sir. The village really loves your type - you think you are buying admiration - you are buying scorn. You are the laughing stock of the village, trying to by village prestige. Even more so when the donations are carved up under your nose.

Do you think a Thai father would allow that?

Do you think a Thai father would allow that gross insult to stand?

Do you even think that anyone would try it against a Thai father?

Never - but they'll do it to you as your a clown farang. To make it even worse, you boast about it. I'm embarrassed for you.

Are you illiterate? Who are you responding to?

Directly to you. What are you, the white god that swoops in and sprays money around the little brown masses?

Wanna have a party? Here's 100K - it's nothing to me. Have you ever for a minute stopped to think what the Thais think of this? They think its absurd - to be so wasteful, a disgrace. All you are displaying is the oh so typical attitude of far too many white men in this country.

You think you can buy love, you think you can buy respect, you think you can buy "prestige."

The only thing you buy is contempt. The problem is - you're to busy playing the part of Harry-Big-Cigar you can't see the truth. Guys like you will never see the truth.

I'm sorry to have blown your ego so wide apart. You don't know Thailand.

................................................................................................

I think your wrong here he said NON-trivial, so its not something I can throw away

His words.. I am Dutch so its not my first language but I think he means its not a little bit of money for him.

[Pattszero]

Okay, I misread it. I apologize and thank you for pointing that out to me.

@Bobo42, Please accept my apologies. Totally my mistake.

[smotherb]

Only USD$3k for a party for your step-son, don't be such a cheap skate

[kandi]

Bunch of people responding here with the proverbial "Thai wife taking the piss with falang husband" line of thought. I'd say the wife is probably not trying to cheat you out of money, she just wants a big party with big face to show. Consider the following:

Do Thai people spend this much if their kids are going to be monks for a short time?

If they are wealthy, yes they do. I'm sure there are plenty of well-to-do Thai families that spend far more. I've seen people spend more for less reason.

Is it typical to do that much, especially for a short-term?

I don't think so. Where I'm from "typical" is a pickup-truck ride through town blasting music along the way, and some drinking and partying, but its not usually extravagant. All the ones I've been to seemed "simple", but I don't usually run with a rich crowd. I've seen some people spend big cash on this.

Should you do it?

Your choice. I don't think you're a sucker if you do it, it really depends on your income level - and how much you care about letting your wife have face (or depriving her of such). Personally I wouldn't do it, but 100k is a non-trivial amount for me, so its not something I can throw away for "village prestige". However, if the cost is relatively trivial to you, then hey, let your wife have her party - have a good time, it'll probably be fun.

Once again, another guy that has totally missed the point. This has got nothing to do with the farang, this is a Thai family matter.

Is there anyone here prepared to admit that they paid for this event and didn't receive the donations?

What do you think the donations are for?

Has the penny dropped now?

.................................................................................................................

To address you directly, sir. The village really loves your type - you think you are buying admiration - you are buying scorn. You are the laughing stock of the village, trying to by village prestige. Even more so when the donations are carved up under your nose.

Do you think a Thai father would allow that?

Do you think a Thai father would allow that gross insult to stand?

Do you even think that anyone would try it against a Thai father?

Never - but they'll do it to you as your a clown farang. To make it even worse, you boast about it. I'm embarrassed for you.

Are you illiterate? Who are you responding to?

Directly to you. What are you, the white god that swoops in and sprays money around the little brown masses?

Wanna have a party? Here's 100K - it's nothing to me. Have you ever for a minute stopped to think what the Thais think of this? They think its absurd - to be so wasteful, a disgrace. All you are displaying is the oh so typical attitude of far too many white men in this country.

You think you can buy love, you think you can buy respect, you think you can buy "prestige."

The only thing you buy is contempt. The problem is - you're to busy playing the part of Harry-Big-Cigar you can't see the truth. Guys like you will never see the truth.

I'm sorry to have blown your ego so wide apart. You don't know Thailand.

................................................................................................

Did we read the same post? In my opinion, bobo42's reply was among the most balanced and fair responds in this thread. Where exactly did he say 100k is "nothing to me"? He said the opposite, he said "100k is a non-trivial amount for me". Maybe you should look up words you don't know before you attack someone like that.

Apart from that, I don't think Thais would "think it's absurd" when somebody spends that amount of money for such a minor occasion. I personally do think it's a waste, yeah, but the longer I live here, the more I experience that it's the exact opposite, that Thais even look up to people who spend these ridiculous amounts. The feeling of intemperance towards spending money doesn't really exist here as it does in the west.

Edit: Just saw your edit. Disregard my post then.

Edited June 9, 2014 by kandi

[Colabamumbai]

Only thing I've seen is when the 'monk to be' is driven around the village in the back of a pickup truck, and music blares from it.

Everyone joins in like a mor lum, and the 'mtb' throws handfuls of 1 baht coins wrapped up individually to the people following. He also throws little lollies to them.

It's really cool to watch, especially for someone like me who just holidays in the village. Very very Thai.

No idea how much that bit costs. I would imagine maybe 1000 baht of 1 baht coins, plus the pickup and loudspeaker hire.

That's about as much as I've seen, maybe you can compile a price list for us all and the process involved.

Don't forget the pics!

Good luck and congratulations to the new monk!

You can make food available at your house or another's, but becoming a short time monk is only for show anyway, then they go back to their old habits. Have been invited to many.....Just a show....

[smotherb]

Only USD$3k for a party for your step-son, don't be such a cheap skate

[Loles]

Many thanks krisb. My wife is suggesting around THB100k which I think is excess.

Band with dancing girls is approx THB12k.

I recall from our wedding there in 2009, it cost about THB40k for the party, and another THB40k for sin sod.

Many thanks

-Pete

Amigo, if you pay 100K for this big face party you are absolutely out of your minds.

I tell you why?

If there is not any farang in family they organize this around 4 - 10 000 B, not more at all.

But if they has a farang, NO LIMIT.

If you pay they want to drink minimum 100 Piper's if they pay enough the Blend286 whiskey or simple Thai whiskey from 7/11 shop.

This is the different only.

Edited June 9, 2014 by Loles

[David48]

Okay, I misread it. I apologize and thank you for pointing that out to me.

@Bobo42, Please accept my apologies. Totally my mistake.

I have to say, whether or not I agree with Pattszero ... I do admire a man who admits a mistake.

Pattszero ... on this ...

I'll buy the first round.

[David48]

... but becoming a short time monk is only for show anyway, then they go back to their old habits.

The OP is referring to a 'novice' Monk ... his Son.

He's not talking about an Adult, in his 20's entering Monkhood for a short time.

[bankei]

Some amazinly stupid replies above, I wonder if some of the posters have even been to Thailand.

Thai families can spend 100,000s of baht without a farang being involved. It can be done for very little, or even free but this is not common as it is an important event which serves social functions for the family and community - maybe similar to weddings in the west.

[bheard]

A friend of mine loaned 30,000b to a friend of hers, a ladyboy, to have a party prior to joining the monkhood, on the promise that it be paid back.

Apparently the person did pay it back later on.

I assumed it was just to be pissed up against a wall, what a waste. Just an Aussie thought . . .

[David48]

Some amazinly stupid replies above, I wonder if some of the posters have even been to Thailand.

Thai families can spend 100,000s of baht without a farang being involved. It can be done for very little, or even free but this is not common as it is an important event which serves social functions for the family and community - maybe similar to weddings in the west.

sorry bankei ... you get a -1 for that comment.

everyone has different experiences ... everyone lives in different areas.

open your mind to the fact that your experiences may not reflect the experiences of others.

that's what makes Thailand such an enjoyable and diverse experience ... everywhere is different.

some of the long termers have opened my mind to what happens in their 'particular neck of the woods'

instead of taking the piss out of the members here who have taken their time to reply ... how about espousing your personal experiences of being involved with a Novice Monk inauguration.

David48

.

[Thaddeus]

Only USD$3k for a party for your step-son, don't be such a cheap skate

Put it into perspective, would you blow a whole years worth of your income on a party?

[Pattszero]

Some amazinly stupid replies above, I wonder if some of the posters have even been to Thailand.

Thai families can spend 100,000s of baht without a farang being involved. It can be done for very little, or even free but this is not common as it is an important event which serves social functions for the family and community - maybe similar to weddings in the west.

I think you'll find the topic is how much the farang should pay for the party. The answer is zero - its a Thai family affair. Naturally you knew that.

[simon43]

I assumed it was just to be pissed up against a wall

Probably not if the ladyboy was post-op...

[rgs2001uk]

... but becoming a short time monk is only for show anyway, then they go back to their old habits.

The OP is referring to a 'novice' Monk ... his Son.

He's not talking about an Adult, in his 20's entering Monkhood for a short time.

Hi, can someone please assist me with clarifying what is involved with my Thai step son becoming a short term (approx 11 days) monk?

According to the OP thats exactly what he is talking about.

Anyway, last one I attended was arranged by the school (in Bkk) the nephew attends, all the boys in the class (about 15 of them) were all shipped off to some temple in Chonburi for about 3 weeks.

Everything arranged and organised by the school, the night before there was a 100 baht per head buffet, must have been at least 300+ people there.

When we married I mentioned to the mrs, you take care of your side of the family and their religious needs, I will take care of my side of the family and their needs, has worked for us.

I am not a buddist and apart from funerals etc, I dont visit temples.

Neither the mrs or I feel the need to curry favour, or buy face, status or respect from the locals.

Wait til X-mas comes along then ask your mrs to tell her family you are having a whip round to buy presents for your important cultural needs, see what the answer will be.

As a side note, there is no spirit house in the front garden,there was no tam bun baan, there is no budda room in the house, there are no altars on the wall and there are no pictures on display on the walls

The wife doesnt even wear an amulet round her neck.

[pramaprow]

'...amazed the foreigner is paying for it.'

In spades...(this from a monk)...

[tomth]

@

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[smotherb]

Only USD$3k for a party for your step-son, don't be such a cheap skate

Put it into perspective, would you blow a whole years worth of your income on a party?

Obviously, not if it were his yearly income. However, my remark was just to stir the pot. I would not have paid sin sod for a woman with child.

[mickjn]

Last one I went to there was defiantly more than 100 people,cost the family about 5000 baht

[glcdc]

What would Davie Jones do?? He would have piles of cocaine booze strippers and tons of dope...don't monkey around here do the right thing..if you love him you'll get things in order and not worry aboout the cost seriously what is 200,000-300,000 baht anyway in the grand scheme o things..money comes and money goes don't worry just have a good time sabai sabai..

[Thaddeus]

Only USD$3k for a party for your step-son, don't be such a cheap skate

Put it into perspective, would you blow a whole years worth of your income on a party?

Obviously, not if it were his yearly income. However, my remark was just to stir the pot. I would not have paid sin sod for a woman with child.

"my remark was just to stir the pot."

Obviously.

[David48]

... but becoming a short time monk is only for show anyway, then they go back to their old habits.

The OP is referring to a 'novice' Monk ... his Son.

He's not talking about an Adult, in his 20's entering Monkhood for a short time.

Hi, can someone please assist me with clarifying what is involved with my Thai step son becoming a short term (approx 11 days) monk?

According to the OP thats exactly what he is talking about.

rgs2001uk ... mate, I can understand what you went onto say ... but my inference was different and my bad if I didn't get the message clearly across.

From the quoted colabamumbai's post above, his inference was that a Man enters Monkhood to learn a new lifestyle. He maybe have been a criminal before and hoping to emerge a new man, but often slips back into old bad habits.

So, I was just trying to highlight that we are talking about a Boy (who I presume to be uncorrupted) and not a Man who may have been currupted and looking for turning his life around.

.

[bobo42]

Okay, I misread it. I apologize and thank you for pointing that out to me.

@Bobo42, Please accept my apologies. Totally my mistake.

OK, I'll accept your apology for reading my post wrong, good on you for that.

I have to say though, that I think you've got some issues, I would ask you to consider the following.

What if 100k was indeed a trivial amount to me? What if my monthly income was upwards of a million or so, and blowing 100k over a weekend was a casual occurrence for my family? Why would it be "wrong" to throw away 100k party in this case? And I don't mean morally wrong, or wrong for raising my kids - I mean violating the standards of my community.

I have personally seen parties thrown (for this and other occasions) in my home town, by local Thais, that I'm pretty sure cost in excess of 100k. The Thai families that do so are happy to boast about the extravagance and expense of the occasion. So were I their financial peers, would they all look down upon me for doing the same? Why would scorn be heaped upon me for doing so?

Consider the situation that maybe there are plenty of foreigners who are fairly well-off financially and so are their wives. Sure they are not nearly as common as the "foreign pensioner meets dirt-poor bargirl" stories, but there are plenty of situations that don't fall under that umbrella. I believe you have quite a few hangups and misconceptions about Thai-foreigner relationships, and its not a healthy attitude to hold onto. I would hope that you would think on this a bit.

Again, I do appreciate the apology, and I don't wish to come off as unforgiving. But I believe you owed me the apology even if I had written it the way you read it. I ask only that you think on it and consider the source of your own feelings that gave rise to the points you made in your previous posts. If you'd like to discuss in a civil manner, I'll look for your next post.