Need help for game addicted/troubled teenager in Issan

[PattayaXpat]

My 12 year old brother in law is having problems and we're not sure where to turn for help.My wife and I are abroad and his Mother and Father honestly have no idea what to do. My wife has heard of rehabilitation/ therapy help but we honestly do not know where to start.

Last year we sent him to a boarding school but he only stayed when my wife was there to keep him inline and now has stopped going to school completely. He has ran away from home many times and is now stealing from his Mom and Dad. The most recent theft was serious, he took his mothers ATM card and drained their account. Not very smart of him, he was caught on video doing it and the police were notified. There may also be drugs involved but we honestly do not know.

The in laws are farmers and not really equipped to deal with this. If any one can help with a phone number or any other place to start I would really appreciate it.

Thanks

[Choonpon]

My husband once helped a parent to kick off the game addicted son. He suggested the parent to let the kid play games NON-STOP other than meals/toilet breaks. No need to study nor go to school nor do other stuff. The idea is to let him play to his fullest till he gets phobia of it. The rule is he must play nonstop.

After afew days the kid got so sick of playing games, he stopped totally and began studying.

[Choonpon]

If we keep forcing the kid to do something he doesn't want, the more he will rebel. Have a talk with the kid, ask him clearly what he wants to do. If he doesn't want to study, he must help his parents with farming. Let him choose.

[Mario2008]

The running away and stealing suggest this needs professional intervention. The local hospital might now some organisations where one can turn for help.

If not, I would perhaps call the paveena foundation and see if they can direct you to an organization in the neighborhood.

But I would act quickly. The longer it stays this way, the more problematic it will get.

[PattayaXpat]

The running away and stealing suggest this needs professional intervention. The local hospital might now some organisations where one can turn for help.

If not, I would perhaps call the paveena foundation and see if they can direct you to an organization in the neighborhood.

But I would act quickly. The longer it stays this way, the more problematic it will get.

I agree, He's 12 years old and he deserves a chance to straighten out his life before it's too late. He runs away and hangs out with a much older crowd who's influencing him in a wrong way. My wife is going try Paveena first. Thanks very much for the info, we would never have thought of them!

I found this contact info, I'll update later with what they say:

Address:

Pavena Foundation for Children and Women

1047 - 51 Pon Luang Complex

Soi AmpornPhan 12, Moo 7

Phaholythin Road, Klong Tanon, BangKhen

Bangkok 10220

Thailand

Contact Information

If calling from Thailand:

Tel: 972 5489 90

If calling from overseas:

Tel: +66 972 5489 90

Website: http://www.pavena.thai.com/emain.html

Email: [email protected]

Activities

Pavena Foundation for Children and Women - founded by Mrs. Pavena Hongsakul, Bangkok Member of Parliament - is a non-profit organization that was established to help children and women who are in need of help.

Objectives:

- To help children and women who have been abused by providing a suitable physical and mental rehabilitation program for victims

- To help children and women who are poor, unfortunate OR homeless, to be able to live normal lives

- To help to promote and develop new income opportunities for victims through skills training

- To promote Thai cultural activities throughout the world

[Mojomor]

The large regional hospital in Khon Kaen has some programs for addicted people. Mostly alcohol and drugs, but all these addictions are semi-related. They should be able to offer some advice. Good luck with the teenager ---- very difficult situation. Depending on his age also, his hormones may be driving him mental. The hormones are shooting in, changing him from a boy into a man, and he has no control over it. Teenage boys can run through a huge range of emotions in a very short space of time.

[krisb]

His parents being farmers has nothing to do with being equipped to deal with the problem.

The boy needs tough love. It's their child.

[PattayaXpat]

His parents being farmers has nothing to do with being equipped to deal with the problem.

The boy needs tough love. It's their child.

My wife started to look in to some of the options available and Mom and Pop want nothing to do with any of them. I agree with your comment and we're done trying to help..

[lucjoker]

12 y old and addicted on games ,drugs ,not afraid..... of nothing ....

watch out ...monster in the make !

Take his i-phone away and he is capable of shooting you .

Handcuffs needed, love is something he doesn't understand ,

love is for pussies and doesn't work on monsters in the make.

rip

[ronthai]

Just one of the thousands and thousands of lost kids in Thailand, due to parents/caretakers not caring.

When the real problems start, like now, the only solution is professional help in a closed facility.

Major problem later will be, that the kid will have to back to the same home situation, same bad friends who live there and family/caretakers who don't care.

He needs professional help and after that REMOVED from his current home, away from all the bad/non-caring people.

Goodluck with the kid, you will need it.

[dotpoom]

PattayaExpat.................I really sympathize with the dilemma that family have to face and congratulate you for having the concern you have for them. Having that type of support in itself goes an enormous way towards helping the family and the addict (if that be the case) but, it has been my experience that not a lot can be achieved until the person concerned actually seeks help , possibly after reaching a "rock bottom".

While it is of great assistance to be willing to help ...it is also advisable to make sure one does not fall into the trap of "enabling" the person to continue on their destructive path by sorting out all their problems and troubles before they reach out for said help.

I suppose it could be best summed up by saying that while we do not want to be an "enabler", at the same time, make it clear that we are always willing to be of help when the time arrives please God and that we can be relied upon.to be there for them.

Surprisingly enough.......you will discover that by having the concern you have and are available to help if called upon ....It is YOU who will reap the benefit.

[Grindting]

Is there no kind of youth army or boot camp In Thailand you can throw them into?

[garyinhuahin]

Sounds very severe. I hope best for all.

I have a less-advanced case on my hands, a 9 year-old. Not yet a physical danger. I've got him in Patravadi School as a boarding student. He seems to love it and the teachers give good reports. But on weekends, he comes home and reverts to a pattern of whining and hostility towards his mother that is quite trying and gets worse if he's allowed any video (cartoons) or game time. Only partial success keeping him 'dry' while home. Currently have a houseguest who unfortunately, indulges him.

[HOOD Robin]

12 y old and addicted on games ,drugs ,not afraid..... of nothing ....

watch out ...monster in the make !

Take his i-phone away and he is capable of shooting you .

Handcuffs needed, love is something he doesn't understand ,

love is for pussies and doesn't work on monsters in the make.

rip

Couldnt say it better....

[macka17]

We need to bring back discipline. in home and school and in public.

Yrs ago when we were kids (in the 40's and 50's) we had the cane and strap at school. Local copper did his rounds. and if you did wrong he let you know first time.

Clip round ear the second.

Third time. He took you home to dad (if you had one) and if dad didn't give you a thrashing in front of him. His belt came off and he gave you one.

People had respect for elders, the law . And mainly responded to discipline (There's always a few bad ones.)

None of that hurt us apart for a while after the application of.

and it did us ALL a lot of good.

Over than that. there were the courts.

with The Birch. Cat 'o nine tails and hanging. according to offences.

All well applied and used when called for.

It should be brought back again.

the children of today. (A lot of) mainly in the less financial areas.

NEED to be taught respect and responsibility for your own actions.

Maybe then they'll get out of where they are and make a life for themselves.

But nothing will happen till discipline and responsibility's start..

It's not "normally" the kid himself. more the environment (sometimes it's the kid and adult)

I come from a major war zone in North East England industrial areas. during the second world war.

Been in prison and done you don't want to know what by 17 yrs.

Saw where I was going. so went in the English Army in the '50's ?(Extreme discipline then some)

spent nearly half my time there in the cells\guardroom

Came out and over the yrs became a human being.

Which I wasn't much of when young believe me.

You HAVE to be taken away from your environment Totally. and given REAL disipline.

24hrs a day.

Till you realise inside what you are becoming. and then WANT to change it.

Then it'll happen.

If a person doesn't WANT to change.

Throw them in the garbage heap. That's where they'll end up putting themselves anyway.

Just walk away from them and save Yourself a lot of pain.

I've seen a lot of good. and a lot of bad . Some REAL (killing) bad. Stay away from them whether they are 50 yrs old. or 12\15 yrs old.

Age doesn't make much difference if your real bad. You just are. and should be put down.

It's funny. but financial areas do make a lot of difference.

We had nothing and those who are still alive where I came from. are still broke and living off the government.

Have done all their lives mostly.

Out of those environments, As I did.

Get ahead. inteligence and financially.

Make all the difference.

My kids LIKED school and went forward from there. One. 50yrs retired. Second owns acompany worth several Million AUD's. third manages a company.

5 of my Granddaughters are working in mines earning over $135k AUD a yr each.

Education (wanting it) and a bit of self respect makes all the difference.

Get that kid out of where he is. and try him first.

If he don't change. Drop him back in there and find the ones that WANT help.

Help the ones that want. don't bother with the losers and ones that don't.

It's THEIR choice..

Your life is what YOU make it.

Anybody can be a bum. That's Sooooo easy.

You have to work at being more.

[kingstonkid]

I have dealt with this with a grandson.

He wanted to hang out and play basketball and do stuff with his friends. the good news was no drugs.

Tried him living with me, tried changing schools tried therapy.

nothing worked. Final decision was that if he did not go to school then he had to get a job, if he wanted to smoke then he had to get money for them.

Eventually he lost 3 jobs, was cut off by me. When he reached 16 he was shown the door.

Unless he wants to change nothing will happen no matter what you do.

One thing that has worked with some kids is simply have the kid arrested. Have the police take him to jail. You have to explain to the police what you are doing and here it might require you to donate to the policeman's ball.

I had a friend who looked after him in jail.

Take him to a prison and show him where he is going.

it is not nice but it sometimes works. there are usually cons that have realized that they screwed up and are looking for a way out on good behavior.

Besides that unless you are going to be there 24 hours a day drop it an dtell your wife that there is no way that you can help if the parents do not wnat to take actin.

[Krataiboy]

There are child psychologists at government hospitals. Try and get the kid to talk to one. Until you know WHY he is behaving the way he does, it won't be possible to find a solution. An awful lot of kids who go off the rails simply feel they are not loved. Getting "tough" with him as some posters have suggested will simply validate these feelings if he has them.

[nglodnig]

Quite honestly, it has been shown time and time again that if you put an impressionable child in jail then the career criminals there will "educate" him and he will leave jail a professsional criminal. Lost for life.

Tough love. take the playstation or whatever away from him. NEVER leave money hanging around or give any opportunity to steal. Starve him of cash unless you know exactly what it's for - if it's for a bus ticket, insist on seeing the receipt.

Feed him - and give him his essentials, clothes, sanitary stuff, etc. If he needs money make him earn it through chores in the house - money is never given for free. A contradiction in terms I know from the "starve of cash" but it is a step towards adult responsibility in earning a living.

Good luck.

Been there. Two wonderful daughters and one wayward son.

[PattayaXpat]

Thank You for all the responses,

we're still working on the situation, but the parents don't agree with any of our suggestions. They have the final call, but the tough love goes both ways, if they don't want to try and fix the situation then they need to understand not to call us for help when it all goes bad...

We really just want the kid to turn out alright, there are many honest hard working field hands in Thailand, If that's how he turns out it'll be OK, he needs to stop the stealing and dishonest now!

[brianP]

My kid is into the GTA-V and it's all he will talk about. Now it's online and he goes ape daily. He is sucking the bandwidth from my own addiction- WORLD of TANKS.

The slowed down internet has made my game stats go down and now i get my tanks blown up often. We both are hopelessly addicted to our games and fight with the mom to keep playing.

I played WOT 6 months ago, just one game and i got hooked. Now i am down to a couple hours daily, but i get up in the middle of the night to play silently, and with the full bandwidth on weekends.

I suppose we both will get burned out but i see/feel the power these game addictions have on people. Gotta go and get my fix now.

[The Usual Suspect]

​I have a Thai nephew who was basically in the same boat as the OP's relative. The only difference is that my in laws saw early on where he was heading and took immediate steps to deal with it. They gave him three choices. Either he went to trade school (which we would all chip in to help with expenses) and maintained good attendance and grades or, he immediately started working daily on the family farm or, he had to leave, period. We all love the kid, but we also knew that if we let him continue the way he was it would only get worse. Luckily, the kid saw the writing on the wall and chose trade school (he never was crazy about farming). He had a bit of a rough start because it was a structured environment. Eventually he began to associate with some kids who had their heads screwed on right. So far, he is doing alright and his attitude is changing. He has a new circle of friends and only hangs out with a few of his old friends who are more responsible. He has a girlfriend now who is also in school and seems to be a good influence on him. He still has his moments, but we are hoping he will grow out of it. We are keeping our fingers crossed and hoping for the best.

[callaway]

Its simple. KICK HIS ASS until he learns the hard way. Worst thing ever to happen was this politically correct bullshit came into play and the kids have not received the discipline they need to keep them on the path if right. That is the reason for the bad manners, bad behaviour and the thought they can do anything. Discipline must be administered to teach people. Why do these little sh#ts in Phuket keep robbing and stabbing? Simply because they know there is no consequences for their actions. The cane across their ass and they would never behave like that again.