Does your GF show an interest in YOU and who you are?

[hellohello123]

One thing ive noticed is that, when I have a relationship with Thai women, no matter how much they like or dont like you.  They never ask questions about you.

 

Sure, some of you are going to say "maybe you are just a boring old sod" or "maybe she just wasnt into you" which could be true,

 

assuming non bar girls, or language barriers, I cant say I recall any girl ever asking me a question more personal then, how was your day???

 

They never ask about the details of my job, my family, my hobbies,

 

Sure im a chatty guy, and probably tell her who I am, and naturally I ask lots of questions relating to schooling, hobbies, friends, work, social group, favourite foods etc. etc.

 

And this relates to even girls who are clearly very attracted to me overall, and seems to be common regardless of whether its a first date or 100th date, younger, older, educated, non educated, hiso, midso.

 

Whats you guys experience,

 

for the record, im 34, and the ladies ive had contact with are between 25-35

 

is it a cultural thing, or am I just that damn boring

[smokie36]

You're socialising with the wrong women....simple as that.

[Costas2008]

No, my girl friend doesn't, but my wife does.

[pgrahmm]

I had quite a few interested in aspects of my life........one said "I'd like to know more about the man I'm falling in love with" - never saw her again,,,,,but I am on the quiet side - so sometimes - and this is a guess....if you let your qualities show through instead of drink/words/brag/swagger/volume  more meaningful conversations can take place and be heard above the static of me/myself & I......

 

It's possible - yes you are that damn boring - it's also possible you're too damn loud in other ways that drown out the other possibilities......let them be curious and be yourself.......it also makes a difference with the type of crowd/people you associate with - maybe they never get beyond the superficial levels of existence.....including yourself....maybe broaden your horizons and people......

 

You don't want to be so transparent that you are not interesting - and you don't want to say anything you can't back up.....the world is already full of fools - it's a weeding/filtering process both ways.......don't let it all hang out/and don't let it all stay inside - it sounds like of you stay with what you like to do you will continue to founder - get outside your comfort zone - just a little.......

 

Of course you are in your thirties - they probably think they already know/have you read......surprise them......intellect/humor & good manners are always appreciated.....

[bowerboy]

Yes I have observed what the OP has written about for sure.

 

OP I agree 100%....they seem completely uninterested.

 

Not sure why that is but certainly it is an annoying trait....probably something to do with the education and being taught never to ask questions and essentially not wanting to know becuase they have never been taught to want to know.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Talking about the past is hard, when you are both trying to forget it.
Best just to talk about what you are doing now, and what you want to do in the next few weeks.
(I'm assuming most of are over 30 and actually have a past to forget)

[GuestHouse]

Perhaps they've realised, most of what expats in Thailand say about themselves has no connection to reality.

[ATF]

Would you tell all your problems and hang ups to a Playboy model and expect her to listen to your *^&&%^%&^

 

I don't think so? Tell your mother instead.

[A1Str8]

If she didn't show interest in me i wouldn't be with her.

[Brit_Doggie]

My gf asks about my ex wife and if i want to be with her (no fudging way) she did me a big favour for making me divorce her,also asks ? about my family and of course money back in the uk,which  the latter i never respond,most important for her is do i butterfly her when i don't go to the shop to help her sell, but hey i'm retired right so why would i need to work for nothing bc she knows i give it to her anyway and that gives her the little independencerequired be it little atm,but it keeps her smiling.

And it sure is a quiet life with her not nagging me or watching thai tv which i absolutely refuse to watch.

 

[puukao]

Her English will have to get better and/or my Thai must improve.  Every conversation for the last 3 years has been, "Do you like Thailand?"  "Are you from NYC?"  "Do you like Thai food?"  

 

maybe it's a cipher and some sort of existentialist experiment.   my thai vocabulary is only about 100 words....must continue studies!!!!  

[Johnniey]

My wife of 24 year never asks me about work apart from did you have a good day.

[Morakot]

They never ask about the details

 

 

 

This is a classic cross-cultural dilemma and a common misperception.

 

Assuming your partners are not complete numbties, a lot can be lost through the different modes of communications.

 

Most people in Southeast Asian do actually ask a lot of things, but on many occasions this take a more indirect form of communication. It makes it appear --to the unaccustomed "Western" ear-- that no questions are ever uttered.

 

 

Would you mind sharing what your cultural/ ethical background is? 

[seaviewlove]

You are not super star. That's why.

[pgrahmm]

Another possibility ..... you're in your 30'$.......no prospect for long time anything beyond the current situation unless you want to stay as a broke school teacher.... with the wrong crowd.... .beyond immediate $$$$$$$$$ there is no reason for long term interest in you......you might be worthy of genuine long term interest - just not from their point of view/wants/needs/or desires.....hope you find what you need..... .needs and wants seem to get confused around here.....

[pigeonjake]

i no its an old pun, very old pun ,

 

but my wife must be different as she does ask me about my work, have i had a good day,

we talk about my life before thailand and my children in england, she speaks to them on skype and my other family members and asks them questions,,

 

so she is either different or very nosy ,,

[farang000999]

Another possibility ..... you're in your 30'$.......no prospect for long time anything beyond the current situation unless you want to stay as a broke school teacher.... with the wrong crowd.... .beyond immediate $$$$$$$$$ there is no reason for long term interest in you......you might be worthy of genuine long term interest - just not from their point of view/wants/needs/or desires.....hope you find what you need..... .needs and wants seem to get confused around here.....

another offshore worker who thinks he is a philosopher?

 

[Davyro]

Just say 'when you know how many brothers I have'...........'give me a call' and move on 

[pgrahmm]

Another possibility ..... you're in your 30'$.......no prospect for long time anything beyond the current situation unless you want to stay as a broke school teacher.... with the wrong crowd.... .beyond immediate $$$$$$$$$ there is no reason for long term interest in you......you might be worthy of genuine long term interest - just not from their point of view/wants/needs/or desires.....hope you find what you need..... .needs and wants seem to get confused around here.....

another offshore worker who thinks he is a philosopher?
 

Nope...if you're referring to me - live here 24/7....if you're talking about the OP might be possible given his age and question.....is guessing at what offshore workers do when not working your specialty or need something to do with your hands or just bored in front of a keyboard......? I think the OP had a legit question - much better than yours.....

[WhamBam]

By some I have been asked about family, what it is like where I live. Wanted to see photos of England. Various stuff. By others, they do not seem that bothered. Up to them.

As long as I have them in my cave on my straw, I do not care ;)

[David48]

Does my partner show interest in me ... sure - 100%

 

Only the other day she yelled to me from outside (the Washing Machine is outside the house).

 

Honey?

 

  Yes Dear.

 

 

Is the Bum Gun working OK?

 

  Yes Dear.  Why do you ask?

 

 

Oh ... just that I'm washing your undies and there are skiddies ... more then usual

 

 

Now, that's a lady who cares about my person ...

.

 

[watcharacters]

.

 

 

 

 

 

Honestly I don't know why these relationship questions are even asked unless it's for the enjoyment of the members of this forum who love to bit at it.

 

 

I find the post unworthy of  reply.

[choochoo]

Yes I have observed what the OP has written about for sure.

 

OP I agree 100%....they seem completely uninterested.

 

Not sure why that is but certainly it is an annoying trait....probably something to do with the education and being taught never to ask questions and essentially not wanting to know becuase they have never been taught to want to know.

Its a trait of  bargirls.   They know only lies going to come back at them- they think why bother.

 

 

 

Flip side is one really shouldnt inquire about bargirls-you just going to hear things you better off not knowing.

 

 

 

And yes so many men call their bargirls their gf-thats the start of all trubbles.

[Cypress Hill]

OP should be relieved he's not like that bloke who needs a translator to speak to his wife.

 

Poor sod even said she has no interest in him whatsoever; won't learn English but I think she owns part of his business.

[thehelmsman]

 

Another possibility ..... you're in your 30'$.......no prospect for long time anything beyond the current situation unless you want to stay as a broke school teacher.... with the wrong crowd.... .beyond immediate $$$$$$$$$ there is no reason for long term interest in you......you might be worthy of genuine long term interest - just not from their point of view/wants/needs/or desires.....hope you find what you need..... .needs and wants seem to get confused around here.....

another offshore worker who thinks he is a philosopher?

 

 

 

Their's nothing wrong with being a broke teacher, take it easy

[mesquite]

OP, don't they ask you if you've eaten or not already?

[AlexRRR]

Yes I have observed what the OP has written about for sure.

 

OP I agree 100%....they seem completely uninterested.

 

Not sure why that is but certainly it is an annoying trait....probably something to do with the education and being taught never to ask questions and essentially not wanting to know becuase they have never been taught to want to know.

 

The only questions that does seem to come up is "have you had a thai gf before?"

 

The first two and one was for 5 years just seem to drift aimless in life with very few questions and not much focus on the future "up to you ka"

 

The third was some what more inquisitive but even then not the same as women back home, very focused and goal orientated ( and she made it happen), there never was "up to you ka" coming out of her mouth, she was a lot more enjoyable to be with, to bad i met her at a stage in life where i was winding down whilst she was zooming ahead.

[neverdie]

OP should be relieved he's not like that bloke who needs a translator to speak to his wife.
 
Poor sod even said she has no interest in him whatsoever; won't learn English but I think she owns part of his business.

OP,

Should be relieved that his log in name isn't 'Cypress Hill', talk about bitter and twisted.

Maybe the OP's GF is too scared to ask questions about his past, fearing that might set him off to ask about her past.

[Payboy]

It's good they don't ask. I'd have to kill them if I told them what I do.

[JLCrab]

Some of the philosophers on ThaiVisa make me think I am listening to one of Baba Ram Dass's old lectures on vinyl records.