Right Girl - Right Family ... How do you know when you have found them?

[David48]

Right Girl - Right Family ... How do you know when you have found them?

Can you choose the right Girl, but get her Family wrong?

Is it important to get both parts of that equation correct?

I think I've been lucky ... our story.

BTW ... it's a long story, clumsy told ... so, if you want a short, snappy 'BarGirl did me wrong' thread ... turn the page now.

Most likely my Thai gf and I won't raise our Family in Thailand. We've been together for close on 4 years now and have 2 very young children together. So, I'm not about to invest a lot of capital into Thailand ... just buying what we need, not what we want.

Prior to the kids being born earlier this year, it was obvious that we needed a set of wheels ... so I ended up buying from an ex-member here his old car as he was off to the UK for medical reasons ... cost Bt50,000 Straight body, good paint (deco) but, as the months passed a few, well, more then a few, mechanical issues raised their ugly head.

But, through the help of my gf's Father, the issues, as they arose, were fixed cheaply, and the old girl kept plugging along.

My sister visited Thailand and met my partners parents for the first time and the Farm ... bit of a Culture shock, but she handled it well enough.

The day went well and come sundown, time to drop her back at the Train Station. So, the gf, the sister and the 2 boys crammed into the car for what was meant to be a 40 min drive.

Cruising along, just 5 mins from leaving the Farm, I heard a soft bump under the car ... thought maybe I'd run over a bit of an old retread piece off a tyre. Minutes later ... a really loud and sharp thump from under the car.

A look in the rear vision saw something rolling along the road. Brake, stop, safe park, hazard lights and a walk back up the busy to road to see if I could locate the issue.

A complete (Thai) stranger, God bless her, saw the part, had picked it up, walking back to me.

What had happened?

The water pump seized, the belt blew off (presumed to be the first 'soft' thump), that belt also ran the power steering AND the water pump ... big issues. That part was the pulley off the Water Pump.

Grabbed a taxi, sent my sister on her way and limped the car back to nearish to the Farm. It's a long, long access road into the Farm off the main road so, as soon as we cleared the traffic and was on the private road pulled over. No water pump ... the car has overheated and the steam, like a volcano, is spewing from under the bonnet.

Grab the infants out of the car, one throws up a little, the other cries a bit because he is hungry. Lassie gets on the phone, calls her Dad ... he'll shower and drive straight out to help.

Sun setting, mosquitoes descending, each of us with a young bub in our arms, crying or sick.

Does she start on with a rant about me being a Cheap Charlie, buying an old car ... 'Why can't I buy new?" 'Key Nok Falang'. No she catches my eye, gives me a big smile and a few minutes later we share a laugh about our misfortune.

It took 20 mins for the Farm Father to reach us.

A couple of passing Thais stopped out of curiosity for some, others offered assistance.

Her Dad knows one of the Thais ... he knows someone near by who is a mechanic, phone calls are made, mechanic on the way.

Her dad and I decide it's best for me not to be seen when the mechanic arrives so he lends me his Farm truck, his pride and joy to drive that Family back to the Farm where we live, he disappears of into the setting sun with the dead car.

Now, the Farm Father has lost his leg below his knee but can walk easily, but not long distances.

A few hours later he rocks up ... he's walked 3 kilometres to the Farm.

The car got fixed, cheaply.

I couldn't have done it without both the support of my Partner and her Family.

For their good humour and support, over this and many things ... I owe them a debt of gratitude.

So, can you choose the right Girl, but get her Family wrong?

Is it important to get both parts of that equation correct?

.

[bkkjames]

I married my wife cause I loved her - not her family.

[Seastallion]

From the title....you don't know in your head, you know in your heart.

From the OP...(nice story BTW, and yeah you got good inlaws)... call me a hopeless romantic but the chances of someone you are in love with having a really nasty family...well, she couldn't possibly share genes with that sort, surely? And if the family is not worth knowing, so be it, don't be close to them.

[Seastallion]

So....when you go back to OZ.....how much you selling the old bomb for?

[bino]

An only child with both parents deceased.

Perfect.

[kurnell]

Never get married. Ever. Best advise I can give any man

[96tehtarp]

Thanks for the great tale. What model is your old jalopy?

Yes it is important to get both parts right, girl and family. My family is a large extended one. It seems there was this old rich guy about 100 years ago around here. He bought about 1-2000 rai, and had many mia nois, and loads of children with all of them. Everyone around here is related through him. Many now get their wives and husbands from another Tamboon 60+ km away to avoid marrying second cousins etc.

In short it is possible to get the family wrong but rarely the entire family wrong. I've got some nasties and some gems in my extended family. Mechanics, builders, carpenters, police, every trade is represented.

[thehelmsman]

I guess if you'd had a new car, you wouldn't have had a story.

[zeichen]

Nice story. My father always told me to meet the girl friend's mother and if you like her then marry. He was set in the belief that girls become their mothers. Funny that out of his 3 wives his in laws hated him.

If living in Thailand, I think that having good in laws is very important as usually they play a very big role in people's life.

I do believe though that being a good son (inlaw) and husband is they key.

[geronimo]

I also lucked out. My MIL is a real diamond, in the twenty years I've been married she has never asked me for anything. I gave a small sin sot (20k) as it was all I had but I made an oath that I would support my wife and any children we have (we have two boys aged 19 and 17).

I know many foreigners who have split with their wives because of family demands so I count myself lucky. Yes David, you are right, it isn't just the right woman. it's her family too.

[MJP]

Wrong wife, perfect family. I stuck around after the old bulldozer tracked off with a new operator because of the rest of the family. We have a great time!

[David48]

So....when you go back to OZ.....how much you selling the old bomb for?

I've sort of grown fond of the 'old bomb'.

We'll be keeping it for a few years yet as there are many stays planned for Thailand and the Farm, while close to Bangkok is quite remote, plus the access road is not suitable for Taxi's

For those interested ... It's a SEAT Cordoba. Basically a French body, hung over the VW Polo Chassis and engine.

The old man is a tough nut. Ex-Navy, had his lower leg blown off by an IED in southern Thailand.

Been chipping away to win the battle with him over the years ... now there is respect on both sides.

.

[Aussieroaming]

I'm happy with my a thai in-laws because they are non intrusive but friendly. I certainly don't hate going to visit or going out for a meal with them.

[Arkady]

I have to admit that my mother has been beastly to my Thai wife on occasions but the wife's parents have always been charming towards me. They are both starting to have health problems now and I willingly help out.

It's the luck of the draw and cuts all ways.

[ezzra]

When they don't want to borrow any money, come stay with you for months on ends,

and actually tells the daughter to love and respect you as a life partner and a husband,

than... your work is done...

[SOTIRIOS]

.....you never know....

...money does strange things to people....

...I wish you the best....for the childrens' sake especially....

[Rorri]

I find it strange the water pumped "seized" without warning, this throughs some doubt on your story. You would normally get weeks, if not months, of warning, the bearing makes a lot of noise. One thing about Thai "mechanics" many have no idea about belt tension, their way to adjust is to make it as tight as possible, this put to much pressure on any bearing resulting in premature wear.... but still giving considerable warning.

[keithkarmann]

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Thanks for the great tale. What model is your old jalopy?

Yes it is important to get both parts right, girl and family. My family is a large extended one. It seems there was this old rich guy about 100 years ago around here. He bought about 1-2000 rai, and had many mia nois, and loads of children with all of them. Everyone around here is related through him. Many now get their wives and husbands from another Tamboon 60+ km away to avoid marrying second cousins etc.

In short it is possible to get the family wrong but rarely the entire family wrong. I've got some nasties and some gems in my extended family. Mechanics, builders, carpenters, police, every trade is represented.

Sounds like my girlfriend's village, most of the girls look alike.Does the village need another not so rich Falang to have a lot of mia nois.

[samuibeachcomber]

Checking out the prospective MIL is very important,cos she will be the mirror image of your g/f in years to come.Also important will be the FIL.important to have a good bonding with him.This of course is true all over the world not just thailand.

[malt25]

I find it strange the water pumped "seized" without warning, this throughs some doubt on your story. You would normally get weeks, if not months, of warning, the bearing makes a lot of noise. One thing about Thai "mechanics" many have no idea about belt tension, their way to adjust is to make it as tight as possible, this put to much pressure on any bearing resulting in premature wear.... but still giving considerable warning.

Does this really have any relevance to the OP's subject matter ? There's always some Neville Nobody who has just got to find fault with every post. If you are so picky... try your nose.

Just sayin..... Mal.

[realenglish1]

Hey your lucky I have been with my lady for 7 years and get along very well with her family They make be feel very welcome all the time.

Very comfortable

I think its hard to find both but if you get it them appreciate it

[Cuddlycat]

Thanks for sharing a heartwarming story. It really makes my day.

You are lucky *_^

[samuibeachcomber]

To the OP...................Nice account of your thai family.Let me paint a completely opposite picture.Really a sad one.

I was very new to thailand,met a lady,after 2 years got married,after 2 years we separated.

During that 4 year period....FIL died of cancer age 66. stepmother hung herself,step daughter killed in a motorbike accident.One uncle shot and killed another uncle..

[Ronn68]

The truth is that we never know. It's always a gamble

[1FinickyOne]

This seems to be a story abt a wrong car… if you are going to be here only a short time, try renting, the car, not the Gf.

[catweazle]

Q: How do you know when you have found them?

A: When you are happy with her and all family-related matters and you still have money in your account after a couple of years.

[catweazle]

However... My best advise is to find a girl who lost her entire family in a plane or bus crash.

[monkey4u]

You know you have the right girl when after 1 month she still isn't asking for money

[firefox999uk]

Yes, I’m very lucky that I chose an absolutely smashing loving wife who has a very large happy family.

Got it right on both counts….Couldn’t wish for better.

Have a Nice Day.

Edited September 5, 2014 by firefox999uk

[HidyHo]

I find it strange the water pumped "seized" without warning, this throughs some doubt on your story. You would normally get weeks, if not months, of warning, the bearing makes a lot of noise. One thing about Thai "mechanics" many have no idea about belt tension, their way to adjust is to make it as tight as possible, this put to much pressure on any bearing resulting in premature wear.... but still giving considerable warning.

Really? This is what you got out of OP's post?