This is , of course , a true story

I am not a massage fan. The once or twice I've experienced them I actually suffered pain

Every time it was in an Asian business setting where I was dragged off to a "spa"

There was once little 30kg beauty who made such a "crack" noise when she twisted my neck

I thought she had done me serious damage just from the sound. Have you ever been happy

to find you could wiggle your toes. I was.

Anyway

There I am in Chaweng. Drinking beer , shooting the breeze with a few.

"Massage" , says I , "no thank you , they scare and hurt me"

"You have to try an oil massage , it's not the same" one guy says.

Anyway

Many Changs later , I'm in this massage place and I pick a girl.

She's not the prettiest , she's just got the weakest looking arms.

I explain I want an oil massage , not the rough stuff.

Kit off , shower , belly down on the table and it starts.

Your man was right , it was not the same. This girl had the softest hands ever.

The problem came when she asked me to turn over.

She looked down and I looked down and I could see what she was looking at.

She made this very expressive , fingers curled hand gesture and said "you want"?

I sighed and said "yeah OK"

She left the room

She was gone 10 or 15 minutes

With the air-con I was chilly and the original problem had very much subsided.

Finally there's a tap on the door.

"YES!" I says

Door opens , girl pokes her head round and say "have you finished?"

Now should I have given her a tip?

For real!???

For real!???

Woul I lie to you ?

so, did you wank?

so, did you wank?

1) Do you normally ask perfect strangers such personal questions ?

2) No , if you read the post you wouldn't ask the question