Wipe Or Spray?

[raro]

...good that I came across this thread after breakfast...

[Kerryd]

...good that I came across this thread after breakfast...

Read the whole thread ? It is almost amazing how detailed some people get.

[Gazza]

I use the spray 'n' shake method. Spray the ol' chocolate starfish of any unwanted Clingons and then I 'Shake that Booty".

Wiping? No thanks. I said goodbye to skidmarks long ago.

For periodic cleaning of the bum gun I use one of those specialised brushes with a long handle for greater control, an angled head to access all areas and twisted bristles to remove unwanted waste from any cavity. Not sure the technical name for it. I just call it 'My Wife's Toothbrush'. Seems to work better after an argument for some reason.

[chuchok]

I use the spray 'n' shake method. Spray the ol' chocolate starfish of any unwanted Clingons and then I 'Shake that Booty".

Wiping? No thanks. I said goodbye to skidmarks long ago.

For periodic cleaning of the bum gun I use one of those specialised brushes with a long handle for greater control, an angled head to access all areas and twisted bristles to remove unwanted waste from any cavity. Not sure the technical name for it. I just call it 'My Wife's Toothbrush'. Seems to work better after an argument for some reason.

[ronw]

the real questionto ask yourself is this :If you has some <deleted> on your face, would you just wipe it away with paper?

NO CONTEST!

[raro]

...good that I came across this thread after breakfast...

Read the whole thread ? It is almost amazing how detailed some people get.

TV never ceases to amaze me...no....some posts I stopped reading after the opening line...you guys are sick!

[PeaceBlondie]

Nah, we're not sick to mention a daily habit of the entire human race, or how not to resemble somebody who just fell into a cesspool.

I've learned a lot about such procedures, just reading this topic, after living in LOS for three years.

I never even tried the water method until trapped into it. I made it a daily noon ritual, taking the opportunity to change clothes. I still can't do it fully clothed. I mean, water water everywhere and not a drop to drink!

Surely we were all properly trained for the toilet by mothers who taught us the best they knew how. Since then, the world has moved on, Mother doesn't teach us any more, and our anatomy is larger and differently shaped in that area.

I used only paper for the first 61 years, and I just assumed it was doing the job. Now I know better (no more tracks in my underwear). Not all bowel movements are created equal. Between contstipation and diarrhea, there's a lot of variety. That stuff goes everywhere. Sometimes the bum gun with high pressure doesn't get everything off of glazed porcelain.

Yes, my fingertips were far more handy than I ever imagined.

If I had to use squat toilets, I'd practice squatting. In the USA, I noticed my Asian neighbors can squat at the front door eating noodles for an hour. My knees get shaky after 30 seconds.

My method is to wipe with paper, squirt with water, use my fingers, squirt again, and then wipe dry using paper. And then get dressed again.

[tutsiwarrior]

has anyone mentioned the thread from 3 years ago?.

[Norrad]

Definately wipe. I can't get used to that whole spray thing. Still holding on to some reminders of home

[mbkudu]

Anyone whos still wipes their ass with toilet paper is barbaric and still living in the dark ages.

[Kerryd]

All you bum-gun fans owe me !

Someone has to come clean up the mess in my hong naam now !

Tried the spray. Planned ahead of time and went in nekked as the day I was hatched. Wasn't keen on sticking fingers (or bum guns) in places nature didn't intend them to be.

Bum gun is set on "punch holes through brick walls" pressure. Can't reduce it.

Read the bit about front-to-back or back-to-front. Went with the front-to-back option, so as to not risk certain valued parts of my anatomy.

Naturally, the spray hit the sensitive areas, blasting away everything but skin (maybe a little skin as well). But then the spray hit the back of the toilet and ricocheted. I jumped about 3 feet straight up when the stream hit my back and started splashing around the toilet. This of course resulted in water and............other stuff............getting sprayed around the bathroom.

In the end, I still had to wipe, just to make sure I got it all. But that was after the 30 minute shower to make sure I didn't have any of the "other stuff" clinging to me.

Now the rest of the hong naam needs a thorough cleaning and sanitizing. Which of you bum-gun fans is going to come over and take care of that for me ?

Alternatively, I could hire someone and send you the bill, after I've tacked on some extra for my discomfort and suffering.

In the meantime, I've restocked the supply of nice, clean, soft, reliable paper !

[tutsiwarrior]

to control the bum gun water pressure go down the local hardware store and buy a little valve same size (diameter) as the flex hose and install next to where the water pipe comes out of the wall (pipe diameter usually = flex hose diameter). In this way you can adjust valve position to give the desired trickle. I like a good blast to begin with and lower pressure to clean up with after. You can also close the valve when the equipment is not in use (positive isolation). This is to prevent the valve in the head of the squirter (the one that you activate when doing your business) from seeing line pressure on a continuous basis. The valve in the squirter head is in the nozzle arrangement and they wear out frequently necessitating frequent replacement.

sound advice from tutsiwarrior...bum gun engineer...

[Gazza]

Alternatively, I could hire someone and send you the bill, after I've tacked on some extra for my discomfort and suffering.

Around these here parts they call me 'The Bum Gun Kid from Kalasin' but I don't go around offerin' maself fur hire,sorry. Hope y'unnnerstand.

I rekkon I'll mebbe jes telegraph to one of ma pardners, 'Two Bum Gun Jake' or 'Red Ringo' and see iffen one of them could be a-helpin' you out. They're both mighty good at clearing up other peoples messes and they can shoot off the left leg of a shithouse fly at twenny yards. Yesirree

[tourleadersi]

Definately wipe. I can't get used to that whole spray thing. Still holding on to some reminders of home

I should imagine that would be the case if you aren't using a bum gun!

[Kerryd]

Definately wipe. I can't get used to that whole spray thing. Still holding on to some reminders of home

I should do that. Go back and set up my toilet like a rural Thai home (squatter out back with a cistern of water and a bowl). I can imagine the looks on the faces of my friends and neighbours the first time they used it, then suddenly realized there was no paper !

Where I grew up, we used to use an outhouse and pages from old catalogues (almost as bad as using waxed paper)

Cold as hel_l in the winter too. I remember many a time, hovering over the seat, trying not to make contact for fear of freezing to it.

That would be the big drawback though. Unless you could keep the water warm, it would freeze up solid in very short order (in the part of Canada I came from). Trying to "splash" a bowl of ice onto your butt could be painful, and even messier than using a bum gun !

Edited July 23, 2006 by Kerryd

[tourleadersi]

Definately wipe. I can't get used to that whole spray thing. Still holding on to some reminders of home

I should do that. Go back and set up my toilet like a rural Thai home (squatter out back with a cistern of water and a bowl). I can imagine the looks on the faces of my friends and neighbours the first time they used it, then suddenly realized there was no paper ! :woot:

Where I grew up, we used to use an outhouse and pages from old catalogues (almost as bad as using waxed paper)

Cold as hel_l in the winter too. I remember many a time, hovering over the seat, trying not to make contact for fear of freezing to it.

That would be the big drawback though. Unless you could keep the water warm, it would freeze up solid in very short order (in the part of Canada I came from). Trying to "splash" a bowl of ice onto your butt could be painful, and even messier than using a bum gun !

Not to mention icicles forming off of bits that weren't designed for that purpose!

How would you keep the splashed on water from freezing on the walk back from the outhouse to the homestead? Could end up with a couple of iced buns!

[Kerryd]

Not to mention icicles forming off of bits that weren't designed for that purpose!

How would you keep the splashed on water from freezing on the walk back from the outhouse to the homestead? Could end up with a couple of iced buns!

Would that be part of the reason that the technologically advanced western societies developed and use toilet paper, instead of bum guns ?

[tourleadersi]

Not to mention icicles forming off of bits that weren't designed for that purpose!

How would you keep the splashed on water from freezing on the walk back from the outhouse to the homestead? Could end up with a couple of iced buns!

Would that be part of the reason that the technologically advanced western societies developed and use toilet paper, instead of bum guns ?

Either that or using thistles and stinging nettles became just too ###### painful!

[mumbojumbo]

This thread has the wrong title. It shoud be Smear or Sanitize,