willyumiii Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 In a recent thread about what Thai women do not like in a man, a Thai woman mentioned that Thai women do not like it when a farang "shouts". I asked her why it is so bad if a farang raises his voice if he is angry or worried about some sort of danger when it is perfectly acceptable for Thai people ( it seem mostly women) here in Issan to shout at each other from across the room, the street or even when standing a few meters apart while having a normal, calm conversation. I work in an office with Thais and they are constantly yelling across the room to each other rather than walking a few paces and tlking at a civil level of conversation. It is very distracting and makes work difficult. One more relates thought... When we met, it would bother my Thai wife if I got up set and raised my voice. Now she thinks it is a good thing. She says " When farang gets mad, he yells. Five minutes later he is not mad anymore. It is good. When Thai is mad they say nothing and stay mad forever...that is bad!" Any thoughts on why it's o.k. for a Thai to yell for no reason and not good for a farang to yell for a good reason? If Thai,, please do not shout when you reply! 555 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saakura Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I too work in an office in downtown bangkok with lots of thai colleagues. There is a constant chatter and laughter among the secretaries and other local staff. Just like girls anywhere. But nobody is yelling all day. And some local colleagues have several times remarked about westerners being so loud in restaurants, airplanes etc. Maybe it is just how you see each other? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 "Any thoughts on why it's o.k. for a Thai to yell for no reason and not good for a farang to yell for a good reason?" They got the house and car, now they looking for excuses to get rid. (Not to mention the Thai guy will not only shout but probably, punch, slap and kick) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaipod Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I have two maids next door and they speak very loud every day, When on their phones they are yelling into it.The workers in the soi are yelling at each other a couple of meters apart when walking in and out. Been here a long time and still can't figure it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Yelling/shouting (i.e., losing one's temper) is not the same as simply talking loud. I think the point is that getting angry (for no good reason) is a sign of mental weakness and should be avoided. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sayonarax Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I have two maids next door and they speak very loud every day, When on their phones they are yelling into it.The workers in the soi are yelling at each other a couple of meters apart when walking in and out. Been here a long time and still can't figure it out. Tell'em off. My neighbors maid wouldn't crack the window without my permission in fear of being told off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurnell Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 My mother in law has the loudest voice I have ever heard. By some distance. She uses the same volume whether talking to someone in the same room or in the next village. Truly awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sayonarax Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Yelling/shouting (i.e., losing one's temper) is not the same as simply talking loud. I think the point is that getting angry (for no good reason) is a sign of mental weakness and should be avoided. Alright Dr.Phil, we should count backwards from 10 right? People get angry when you annoy them to a point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somchaismith Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 My mother in law has the loudest voice I have ever heard. By some distance. She uses the same volume whether talking to someone in the same room or in the next village. Truly awful. Grounds for a divorce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Yelling/shouting (i.e., losing one's temper) is not the same as simply talking loud. I think the point is that getting angry (for no good reason) is a sign of mental weakness and should be avoided. Alright Dr.Phil, we should count backwards from 10 right? People get angry when you annoy them to a point. No, there are people who get angry very easily, over silly things, and allow themselves to lose emotional control (i.e., lose their temper). And then there are others who may be just as annoyed and angry, but don't allow themselves to go ballistic over seemingly little things. Perhaps it has to do with maturity or emotional intelligence. A better example: Young children can get angry over little things and throw a tantrum. With adults, perhaps not a good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Thai women are this way.... Farang men are that way..... all the same no individual differences..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toknarok Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 When you've got a line of people (usually women) a hundred meters long planting or reaping rice you need a powerful voice to be able to gossip with the person farthest away from you at the end of the line. Such a pity that many forget that when they have left the paddy field you don't really have to speak at that volume any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazy chef 1 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Thai women are this way.... Farang men are that way..... all the same no individual differences..... Thai women are this way.... Farang men are that way..... i think now we got it right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) Check out this Thai woman. Edit to add; she may not be all Thai. Maybe a luk kreung? Edited September 26, 2014 by thailiketoo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Some people just like the sound of their own voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Check out this Thai woman. Edit to add; she may not be all Thai. Maybe a luk kreung? Man, that was totally crazy. I don't believe that was in Thailand, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thailiketoo Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Check out this Thai woman. Edit to add; she may not be all Thai. Maybe a luk kreung? Man, that was totally crazy. I don't believe that was in Thailand, though. Maybe not. Do you mean to say there other countries where people shout, yell and speak loud ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Check out this Thai woman. Edit to add; she may not be all Thai. Maybe a luk kreung? Man, that was totally crazy. I don't believe that was in Thailand, though. Maybe not. Do you mean to say there other countries where people shout, yell and speak loud ? Aaaaah, see your point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Banzai99 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Check out this Thai woman. Edit to add; she may not be all Thai. Maybe a luk kreung? Man, that was totally crazy. I don't believe that was in Thailand, though. Maybe not. Do you mean to say there other countries where people shout, yell and speak loud ? YESSSSSSS !!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussieroaming Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Loud talk is fine..load aggressive tone is not cool for locals. Vietnamese always scream when they talk and it isn't perceived as aggressive. I have worked in Asia for years and have found the following. It is fine for an asian to get the shits with an asian and go off..however when a farang does it it's a total no no. Firstly they assume we are aggressive and secondly they feel farangs are employed because they are highly skilled and therefore should show control more. I've also seen very strong asian women in the workforce just roll over and say fark all when asian male colleagues do no work or act in deck headed fashion. Unfortunately there is an element of social conditioning in Asia, where the girls are nervous of farangs and accept whatever crap asian men throw at them. In fact Vietnamese women are without doubt the hardest workers in Vietnam but it's the men who shout and carry on. My wife hates it if I shout or show anger..she feels I should express it in a calm manner. I Try but it's hard not show my emotion sometimes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 (edited) try going to Italy, Or Spain. they always look as if they are aggressive, its just there mannerism. nothing in it, its how you perceive talking loud, maybe the person is deaf, people who have hearing problems talk louder than normal people. Edited September 26, 2014 by Thongkorn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottocus Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 You should being in a lift in HK with a bunch or local female colleagues. Ear plugs definitely recommended. I don't know how anyone understands each other as they all yell at each other at the same time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
55Jay Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 I have two maids next door and they speak very loud every day, When on their phones they are yelling into it.The workers in the soi are yelling at each other a couple of meters apart when walking in and out. Been here a long time and still can't figure it out. Loud talking into the phone - must be a long distance call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 its not the volume thats the problem. thais are uncomfortable with public displays of anger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 its not the volume thats the problem. thais are uncomfortable with public displays of anger. I have had more Thai men display anger to me than any other nationality. usually when they try and rip me off, like taxi drivers, but when you speak a little Thai back they come down, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Yelling/shouting (i.e., losing one's temper) is not the same as simply talking loud. I think the point is that getting angry (for no good reason) is a sign of mental weakness and should be avoided. I wouldn't say all Thais are mentally weak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 My mother in law has the loudest voice I have ever heard. By some distance. She uses the same volume whether talking to someone in the same room or in the next village. Truly awful.Have you considered divorce? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 its not the volume thats the problem. thais are uncomfortable with public displays of anger.Agreed, but it doesn't mean they're not angry. They'll suppress it by default and over time will just explode if pushed too far... such as being turned politely down by a female which would give some males grounds for rape and murder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveAustin Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 Op, at least your wife now understands the value in letting rip on occasion as opposed to bottling up (like above). And why is it ok for Thais to shout and not farangs? Because we are 'guests'. We should NOT complain or be heard because there is nothing to complain about (from their perspective) in this culture. Also the respect angle - much like it is ok for a Thai kid to wear a pair of shorts with the Star & Stripes on, but by golly see if your kid gets away with wearing the Thai flag on their arse! In reflection, I always find things seem less stressful if you picture yourself, not necessarily in a menagerie, but sort of in a giant playground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AYJAYDEE Posted September 27, 2014 Share Posted September 27, 2014 its not the volume thats the problem. thais are uncomfortable with public displays of anger. I have had more Thai men display anger to me than any other nationality. usually when they try and rip me off, like taxi drivers, but when you speak a little Thai back they come down, never had any driver try and rip me off in 25 years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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