I explained my difficulties with the concept of sin sod, our cultural values in NZ, the idea of paying for a wife is like buying a slave,

Yes, sin sod is a very foreign concept to us westerners and it is challenging to get Thai people to accept that there is in fact another side in the relationship. One that has equal rights.

Apologies for abridging your post.

I met a very well to do lady, 36 year old accountant, degree, family large (very) large landowners etc, etc and all that.

They knew all about me, job and what I had in Thailand.

Called to a meeting by her late mother, sister to be (As I found) interrogated.

Before she (GF) could come live with me, had to set wedding date. There and then..... <deleted>???

Asked how much Sin Sod I would pay??

Told if cannot set date, had to leave "Guarantee" of my sincerity?? Translated as 4,000,000 bhat. <deleted>

I can understand Thai and can speak enough correctly that people know exactly what I mean.

1) Told them they were impolite to summon me under these conditions.

2) Told them that they should speak to my older Thai friends on negotiations, not me directly about Sin Sod.

3) Told them I am not Thai so will only do 50% what Thai fiancée/groom would do. My girlfriend family had to do 50% farang.

That meant, they want me pay Sin Sod same as Thai, okay I do. But family do same farang, pay for wedding.

Let me just say, things got out of hand amongst some of the eldery Thais. Lots of Jai Lon, nid noi Jai yen yen

I went back the hotel alone, starting packing, about to leave when the GF and father. (Who I rarely seen) turned up.

Now this guy was minted, very well off off.

As it turned out very sensible.

His daughter done the translating.

He said no wedding, no sin sod. All he wanted were me to take care his daughter. Thai people hear many bad things about Farangs.

He said if we marry I need to pay, no exceptions (Face)

He said Sin Sod..... he would give his daughter, money and gold. Handed over, he would keep. (His money anyway)

Told them I could do that.

We were together for about a year. Sadly she did not like where I had built my home in the country, (She city girl)

She piled more and more pressure put on me to build a home on land her father had given her, but every time we went meet her family, the atmosphere around her aunts were Arctic. I never felt comfortable, relaxed let alone welcomed

Her father, non drinker, non smoker was relaxed, always done his best to me. The women??

But Bangkok suburbs were not for me. We separated amicably, I took care of her face when she went home. Also being old I had died??

You my good friend need to understand and use the word "No" and your feet. Get out of there you are a piece of paer going down the rapids

I told them i was going to give them the cash but the gold i HAVE to give the gold. Its so important to them. Im thinking of buying a steel ingot and just paint it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold-filled_jewelry

Apologies for abridging your post.

I met a very well to do lady, 36 year old accountant, degree, family large (very) large landowners etc, etc and all that.

They knew all about me, job and what I had in Thailand.

<snip>

Thanks tmd5855 I really enjoyed reading that ...

.

I explained my difficulties with the concept of sin sod, our cultural values in NZ, the idea of paying for a wife is like buying a slave,

Yes, sin sod is a very foreign concept to us westerners and it is challenging to get Thai people to accept that there is in fact another side in the relationship. One that has equal rights.

Apologies for abridging your post.

I met a very well to do lady, 36 year old accountant, degree, family large (very) large landowners etc, etc and all that.

They knew all about me, job and what I had in Thailand.

Called to a meeting by her late mother, sister to be (As I found) interrogated.

Before she (GF) could come live with me, had to set wedding date. There and then..... <deleted>???

Asked how much Sin Sod I would pay??

Told if cannot set date, had to leave "Guarantee" of my sincerity?? Translated as 4,000,000 bhat. <deleted>

I can understand Thai and can speak enough correctly that people know exactly what I mean.

1) Told them they were impolite to summon me under these conditions.

2) Told them that they should speak to my older Thai friends on negotiations, not me directly about Sin Sod.

3) Told them I am not Thai so will only do 50% what Thai fiancée/groom would do. My girlfriend family had to do 50% farang.

That meant, they want me pay Sin Sod same as Thai, okay I do. But family do same farang, pay for wedding.

Let me just say, things got out of hand amongst some of the eldery Thais. Lots of Jai Lon, nid noi Jai yen yen

I went back the hotel alone, starting packing, about to leave when the GF and father. (Who I rarely seen) turned up.

Now this guy was minted, very well off off.

As it turned out very sensible.

His daughter done the translating.

He said no wedding, no sin sod. All he wanted were me to take care his daughter. Thai people hear many bad things about Farangs.

He said if we marry I need to pay, no exceptions (Face)

He said Sin Sod..... he would give his daughter, money and gold. Handed over, he would keep. (His money anyway)

Told them I could do that.

We were together for about a year. Sadly she did not like where I had built my home in the country, (She city girl)

She piled more and more pressure put on me to build a home on land her father had given her, but every time we went meet her family, the atmosphere around her aunts were Arctic. I never felt comfortable, relaxed let alone welcomed

Her father, non drinker, non smoker was relaxed, always done his best to me. The women??

But Bangkok suburbs were not for me. We separated amicably, I took care of her face when she went home. Also being old I had died??

You my good friend need to understand and use the word "No" and your feet. Get out of there you are a piece of paer going down the rapids

Enjoyable read. Confirms, again, something i started to realise a while ago. The female inlaws.

It would be fun to see their reaction of you reappearing in the neighborhood. Ghosts are alive...

Enjoyable read. Confirms, again, something i started to realise a while ago. The female inlaws.

It would be fun to see their reaction of you reappearing in the neighborhood. Ghosts are alive...

Her father paid one visit to our home, stayed a few nights, he is, I have to say a good man and father, more concerned about his daughter, who is the apple of his eye, than face same as his sisters.

Those future in-laws (Female) plotted against me. Whenever we arrived at the family, she were her usual bubbly self.

On leaving she had the world on her shoulders.

I knew I could never win. The pull of her family was strong. She did try her best, understood my stance, did not agree, but understood.

For that I take my hat off, bow my head, never speak bad or ill.

I think only her father knew where my house where. Often thought about contacting her. But we both changed our numbers, she changed her e-mail??

Have never thought of going back, let sleeping dogs lie.

So sometimes the split does not cost you, your house, your car or your bank.

You just have to remember the word "NO" can be useful

Typical woman, she has changed her mind, the sin sod is going to be 4.59 million

That was as much as we could get out of the bank without HER losing interest, she had another 500,000 on a term deposit, don't you just love thrifty Thai ladies.

Have spend the last 3 days driving around Ubon delivering invitations, been stopped twice at Police checkpoints, first one looked in the window, shouted "farang" in a very friendly tone and waved us on, later another asked for my driving licence but once he realised I actually had one seemed to lose interest, but my wife told him about the upcoming wedding and we then got another big smile and "happy happy" from him.

Only 12 hours 33 minutes until kick-off.

To tie in the above if it seems a little out of kilter ...

I married at the amphur in Feb 2014.

The Buddhist ceremony with 9 monks, her family and friends is on the 1st November.

There will be money SHOWN and half will be from me and half from my wife's own account.

The lucky amount will be 3,999,999

NO money will be PAID to her family, none was asked for and my share will be returned to me to do with as I wish.

To all the cynics on here, when will you realise it's all about FACE when you marry into a decent Thai family.

To tie in the above if it seems a little out of kilter ...

I married at the amphur in Feb 2014.

The Buddhist ceremony with 9 monks, her family and friends is on the 1st November.

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Really appreciate the vetting you do here David. It helps in keeping these threads transparent. Thanks.

Typical woman, she has changed her mind, the sin sod is going to be 4.59 million

That was as much as we could get out of the bank without HER losing interest, she had another 500,000 on a term deposit, don't you just love thrifty Thai ladies.

Have spend the last 3 days driving around Ubon delivering invitations, been stopped twice at Police checkpoints, first one looked in the window, shouted "farang" in a very friendly tone and waved us on, later another asked for my driving licence but once he realised I actually had one seemed to lose interest, but my wife told him about the upcoming wedding and we then got another big smile and "happy happy" from him.

Only 12 hours 33 minutes until kick-off.

Typical woman, she has changed her mind, the sin sod is going to be 4.59 million

Would love to know what type of woman you have to pay 4.6 million baht sin sot for.

driving around Ubon

Is that the farang or Thai price, 4.6 million, puuuuleeeeze, gimme a break, must be the dumb farang ai kwai Issan/lao price,

Heck even uni graduates in Bkk dont cost more than 300k baht.

Dont worry you still have 12 hrs and 33 minutes to call it off, chock dee na krap, you will need it.

There will be money SHOWN and half will be from me and half from my wife's own account.

The lucky amount will be 3,999,999

NO money will be PAID to her family, none was asked for and my share will be returned to me to do with as I wish.

Not paying a satang for her or her family, kindly read my previous posts.

I will be paying for today's ceremony and the party, that is my decision, however her mum and uncle have paid the upfront costs.

My wife and I will settle the bills after the event.

We didn't need to hire a venue as my wife owns the apartment block where we are having the event and today is the second anniversary of it's opening and also my wife's birthday.

As for the change in amount, she decided to clear out all of HER accounts to make it another lucky number ending in 9.

As I said before, it's all about FACE.

PS. We have 3 rooms free out of the 20 for rent, nice location in Warin Chamrap, please feel free to contact me for details, I would love one of you cynics to come and help fund our future !

You must be a fairly old man to be going along with that kinda cash. Cant see a young farlang doing any of that.

crickets, I am still working at the age of 55, but I have been very lucky to have been employed in a job I love for the last 28 years and it pays very well.

Just Google "nats air traffic controller salary" , I don't work at Heathrow or Swanwick, but my salary is not far short of the maximum quoted.

so y u marrying a isan girl?

what her age? 25? lol.

choochoo, if that was directed at me, yes, I am married to an Isaan lady.

She was 43 yesterday on our wedding day.

My wife owns more property and land than I do, she works at Siriraj Hospital in Bangkok and was very comfortably off before she met me.

We married because we love each other, pure and simple.

Dont you get worried about someone running off with all that cash?

Congratulations fats. it's a pity we have to put up with this rgsblahblah &lt;deleted&gt; trying to tell us how wrong and stupid we are. A sour loser for sure. Happiness is here if you find the right girl, and it appears that he attracts something that upsets him. Maybe a third gender or some such.

Any way, losers aside, best wishes mate.

crickets, the cash was a worry.

It had to be moved physically between 2 banks in Bangkok because my wife did not want to pay a transfer or withdrawal fee at SCB.

We did that ourselves last week, a quick 50m dash from SCB to TMB.

We then went to Central in Ubon, moved it 20m from TMB to my mother-in-law's account at Krungsri (not her branch)

We arranged with her own branch to withdraw the cash the day before the wedding, and as they knew it was sin sod, we got it in brand new notes.

It spend the night with my wife's uncle and an11mm pistol.

The wedding was all done by 2pm and it went back to Krungsri under armed escort from the local police (uncle's friends), who accepted a small donation for their help.

Dont you get worried about someone running off with all that cash?

sounds as FAT married a NUTTER with money.......................lol. sorry.. id be a nutter with that cash out in the open too.

so did you find out how your girl got her money. She own the hospital.................lol.

So you work as air controller IN thailand? long distance never works.

No offense but why would you want into a family like that. Police connections? They know you have money? I be worried ShItLesS everyday.

Escorting farang money...........................PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

choochoo, have you been on the ale all day ?

You obviously have a relationship with a completely different part of Thailand to me and by the sounds of it, several large chips on your shoulders.

As for the long distance, I plan to take my pension early next year, we can drawdown up to 100% and can continue to work, hopefully part time for me, so I can come for 6 months a year.

If NATS won't go for that, I'll just retire.

My wife enjoyed her visit to the UK in August this year, so she will be back at least once a year too.

In the year and a bit I have known my wife and her family, not once have I been asked for a satang, no unexpected visits from the BIB or any intimidation of any kind.

The helpful uncle is actually a maths teacher, so no sinister connections, his two (very pleasant) policemen friends seemed to be happy with a free meal and an easy day.

As for my wife's money, I know exactly where it came from in the past, completely legitimate, but not board business.

She doesn't own the hospital, but does own her apartment block here in Ubon

So if you are ever up this way you are welcome to come and see how hard-working Thais really live their lives.

Several of my wife's old classmates are pharmacists and nurses, so we will be able to get you help when you go into shock, LOL

As a few of you are now making personal remarks, the thread is getting off-topic, so this will be my last reply, I will shut up and and get on with my happy married life.

So you just pulled out 4.6 million baht from your banks to pay a sin sot in Isan ..."We arranged with her own branch to withdraw the cash the day before the wedding, and as they knew it was sin sod, we got it in brand new notes."

Cheers mate, now it's all over Ubon that farang are now paying up to 5 million baht to marry Isan gals.

crickets, the cash was a worry.

It had to be moved physically between 2 banks in Bangkok because my wife did not want to pay a transfer or withdrawal fee at SCB.

We did that ourselves last week, a quick 50m dash from SCB to TMB.

We then went to Central in Ubon, moved it 20m from TMB to my mother-in-law's account at Krungsri (not her branch)

We arranged with her own branch to withdraw the cash the day before the wedding, and as they knew it was sin sod, we got it in brand new notes.

It spend the night with my wife's uncle and an11mm pistol.

The wedding was all done by 2pm and it went back to Krungsri under armed escort from the local police (uncle's friends), who accepted a small donation for their help.

This bit did make me smile ...

"It had to be moved physically between 2 banks in Bangkok because my wife did not want to pay a transfer or withdrawal fee at SCB."

Wouldn't pay the Bank, but happy to pay the Cops

"and it went back to Krungsri under armed escort from the local police (uncle's friends), who accepted a small donation for their help."

...

Back on topic

Sin Sod returned in full

Cost of the wedding 75% defrayed by "gifts" in envelopes

^^ Photos .. or it never happened ...

OH ... not the SinSot, I couldn't give a rats ... the wedding.

Specific sub-set of photos being of those available Lassies of legal age up to 35 (ish)

Sorry, just about all her friends are married !

she has to be a sturgen untouched by human hands.

i'm together with my (southern) wife for over 25 years and married for 13 years.

The subject of SinSot was never discussed or asked for. (even my wife thinks it is getting old fashion)

When we started our business we split the investment in 2, meaning that i put op half of the money en her father the other half.

As we are doing reasonable well and my father in law (single parent) was getting old we build a separate house for him in our garden so we can take care of him.

I believe that it normal to take care of your older parents whenever possible and he is more then happy and support us in every way possible,

But i would have to think twice if i was asked to pay SinSot as i have to work hard for my money and don't want them to see me as a walking ATM machine.

Don't pay it and see how much she values you !

This subject is banned...................

Issan and sin sot! and guy wants it back...........................hahahaha.

If i were the guy i would go out of my way to tell the parent to keep it. Then go fall aslepp and when i wake up run the hell away from that familee.......................lol.

5555

Actually its "a poor family in Isaan".

Does one get the feeling this is that start of the end??

So much support from everyone.....really looking foward to the wedding now:

So is she and her family, oh so much!!!

At least you both have that in common.

Oh no, don't get me wrong I'm not married. I'm just saying that I've heard plenty of horror stories about marrying Isaan chicks to scare me off that. And ya know, all bar girls come from that area...speaks volumes about that region and what they'd do for money. I ain't that fat yet but working on it good sir!

Good to hear that you are not prejudiced.

not PC and not pretending to be. I've been to bars most those girls hail from Isaan. Also, from my understanding most families outside of Isaan will refund most or all the sinsod...in Isaan not the case.

So yes, I would date a chick from there n have fun but unless she's truly exceptional I doubt it would turn into marriage.

I believe you would only consider marrying any girl if she is exceptional. And yes, it may be one from Isaan....