To live and die in Thailand or not

[Sigurris]

This is a slightly different version of the many questions asked about living here.

A quick background. I have lived here 7 years, own a very nice home, have a good job that pays pretty well and a girlfriend. I have fiends and a life here. In the UK I have two grown up children who I love dearly.

On Monday my world was turned upside down. I got confirmation that I have 3-6 months left due to advanced inorperable pancreaic cancer. Although I will fight it I am also realstic enough to know that the projections ae propably accurate.

My kids want me ro return to the UK. I want to live a normal life for as long as possible. To return to the UK would fell to me like going home to die.

This is not a thread about the cost of medical care more an enquiry about what you would do in my situation (which is not a traolling one).

[CharlieH]

Sorry to hear your news.

You face some difficult times and decisions ahead and I give you my best wishes.

[happydude303]

Sorry to hear this , sometimes you got to follow you're heart.

[David48]

I was reading the thread, expecting a usual style of question ... where is the best place to live.

Then I read about your medical condition.

I said out loud ... oooohh shit

shit

****

****

Firstly because I like your previous postings and then I (selfishly) thought how would I feel if that was me ... then my thoughts returned to you.

What would I do?

If your domestic situation was good in Thailand, your Heart was here (in Thailand) I'd be inclined to ...

stay in Thailand

give up the work

Travel Thailand a bit

Invite the kids over from the UK for an extended holiday ... I'm sure they'd appreciate a break from the Autumn/Winter and the nice weather in Thailand is soon upon us.

Just trying to stand in your shoes and define what I'd want.

.

[Costas2008]

OP, I'm very sorry to hear about your medical condition.

I prey to God that you will be able to prolong your life more than the 3-6 months and enjoy more what you have and have achieved.

Answering your question, I would go back to the UK.

Not only because the kids are there, as mine are also, but you will be able to have a better treatment that can prolong your life.

My niece in Greece, 35yo was given 6 months to live with bone and lungs cancer.

4 years later she is still enjoying a normal life with her husband and daughter.

Have strenght and fight it with the support and love from your kids.

I wish you all the Best and hope to hear from you again in 4 - 5 years time, telling us how better you feel.

Edited November 6, 2014 by Costas2008

[robertthebruce]

Just read your post, and have been knocked for six, my heart goes out to you, with your sad news.

Such a difficult difficult question, but if it was me I would head back to England...

Your kids are there, and as Costas said, the Treatment will be better.

Where ever you choose, best of luck, and be positive, and hope the doctors have got it wrong..

Take care

[David48]

I wish you all the Best and hope to hear from you again in 4 - 5 years time, telling us how better you feel.

+100

.

[uptheos]

OP I tend to go along with Costas.

Your children are there and I'm sure they would like to spend time with you, as you say 'you love them dearly.

It's not my business regarding property or relationships here, you must make a decision on them.

I believe you will get better care back 'home' as the support structure's in place for such people as yourself are excellent.

Also, I would go there simply to have a second or even third opinion, I've seen too many mistakes here.

The thing that comes mostly to mind is pain control and I'm sorry to say that when it comes to this issue Thailand sucks.

In the UK you will certainly be kept as pain free as possible allowing you to go along peacefully.

You could have your girlfriend over on compassionate grounds, I believe the authorities are quite good with this sort of situation.

All the very best whatever you decide

[sipi]

For me, Thailand. But you will need to do what is best for you.

All the best.

[mrtoad]

Sigguris, I'm really sorry to hear that, and fully understand the dilemma that you have.

Ultimately, you have to do what is right for you and there are probably a few compromise option available for you and that means being able to spend time with all the people that you love - but also making sure that you stay in the place that you love. I always loved the movie Bucket List, because of the story.

Follow your heart.

I wish I could give you the answer, but you will work it out

A lot of us here will be rooting for you

[stavley]

All the best mate

[Gecko123]

Thailand for spiritual passage.

But if medical care, physical comfort, or family closure are compelling concerns, these should be weighed carefully as well.

Praying for your recovery.

[fey]

Go both places. where am i going to live (no pun intended) is not a valid question at this point.

i would quit the job, take the gf to meet the kids. . then take everyone for a tour of thailand. maybe rent out a nice seaside place for a week to exchange life experiences snd say goodbye.

then skies the limit. cash the retirement account and whip out the platinum card and go for as many meaningful experiences you can. whether it be travel, quiet time to find god, whatever. do things you were afraid to do while living (no pun intended).

i would not feel i had to live for others every second left, unless you really want that. i would say goodbye then go do my stuff. then return to where home is for the last hospital leg or when continued treatment is required. maybe bringing the gf to live with the kids and strengthen ties between all of you.

bon voyage!

Edited November 6, 2014 by CharlieH

[ericnoodeeka]

my best wishes to you dear member, sorry to hear about ur illness.

whatever you decide, i hope you have a great time and thxx for sharing with us what must be a very difficult time.

all the best to you.

[CharlieH]

Post edited for sensitivity.

[benalibina]

Think about your initial thoughts/feelings which came up after you heard the news. Follow those 1s because those are the deepest and most true feelings.

Best of luck with your fight and i pray for you that all will be well.

[Aussieroaming]

Mate...so sorry to hear such stark news. I pray for you, your family and friends that you enjoy the next period of your life.

In regards to your question....home is where the heart is, so I am sure that you will make a decision based upon your true inner feelings. Your friends and family will respect whatever choice you make, even if they don't necessarily agree.

All the best, live your remaining life to the fullest.

[MobileContent]

I would stay in Thailand and would figure out what insurance you have from your company and which hospitals are attached to the insurance.

If you work at a larger company you should be fine in terms of getting the best possible treatment at private hospitals,If you have a nice house sell it off

I had ALL (Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia) in 2004 and survived it in Thailand. I was advised to go back to Germany but I refused as I have been staying in Thailand to long. I am aware you have grown up kids in Europe but you could send them in to Thailand and sponsor them a great trip to Thailand.

I am not sure how long you have been with you GF but think about her too. She has been in your life and if you two had a genuine relationship why not die in her arms.

Any way I am sorry to hear about your situation and I feel for you.

[slipperylobster]

You may dream of certain people. I would think those are the ones you would want to be with.

[pigeonjake]

theres allways one,,, it was him who used the word idiot,!!!!!!!

ive nothing to add to what others have said,

its all down to were you feel most at ease,

your children are old enough to come here to you and spend quality time with you here, you could take them round thailand showing them just why you came here in the first place,

my heart goes out to you, one of our loy krathong candles will be lit for you tonight, i can do without mine,

god and budda bless you

jake

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Bad luck that!

Stay with your gf, give the kids a plane ticket to come and visit.

It won't be much fun in someone else's home, and without your gf.

Edited November 6, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[CharlieH]

Insensitive and moronic post removed

If you cant be supportive and show the appropriate sensitivity then DONT post on this thread, any further posts showing insensitivity or just plain stupid remarks will be removed without notice.

[WhamBam]

Several years ago a good friend of mine discovered he had multiple cancerous tumours in the brain. He was given 3 months to live and survived for 6 months. He did what HE wanted, not what his family wanted. His idea was to keep his lifestyle as normal as possible and asked myself and one other friend if we could help him try achieve this. We said yes.

He did suffer a lot in the end yet he lived his life to the full with friends as best he could. It took a lot of dedication from two of us to help him achieve this and to treat him as normal as possible, but that is what friends are for.

My point being - seriously consider what you want to do and if there is someone who is willing to help in this. It is hard work emotionally for those helping and you need to be sure they can cope. Be that here in Thailand or back in the U.K.

Sincerest condolences from one who watched a very good friend die too young.

[oldgent]

I take it you are speaking about yourself. how would you feel if you had been given that horrible news

God Bless you Sigurris. I,m afraid I can not answer your question. but this might sound morbid,

ask yourself this do I want to have a Burial or Cremation.

[trainman34014]

So sorry to hear your news and hope your fight for a longer survival is successful.

I don't think any of us knows how we would react in a situation like this but i like to think if it happened to me i would want to end my days where i feel most settled and comfortable. For me personally that would be right here in Thailand even though i have five grown up children back in England and eleven Grandchildren too. There is nothing to stop family coming to visit us here, apart perhaps from money restrictions, but is it realistic for ones offspring to expect us to uproot and move back next to them just because we may be ill or facing an early demise ? Our Son's and Daughter's have known all along that we have moved here to settle and that one day we will die, be it in the short or long term, so i would say it is unreasonable of them to expect us to up sticks and destroy our comfortable life in a place where we would foresee our own end, be it sooner or later.

Whatever you decide i wish you well.

[n210mp]

Hello Siguris

I hope and pray that you will get some peace of mind if not a remission and i hope that my post is of some help to you in what must be very upsetting situation.

Dont know where you are but if my wife and I can be of any assistance then please PM

Just some thoughts

"A quick background. I have lived here 7 years, own a very nice home, have a good job that pays pretty well and a girlfriend. I have fiends and a life here. In the UK I have two grown up children who I love dearly."

You do give much info on the relationship with your girlfriend, whether your relationship has been a long and loving one or you recently met her, in other words the depth of the relationship with her would be a deciding factor if i were in your boots

"On Monday my world was turned upside down. I got confirmation that I have 3-6 months left due to advanced inorperable pancreaic cancer. Although I will fight it I am also realstic enough to know that the projections ae propably accurate."

Not too sure about the Hospital system in this Country where they seem to diagnose for profit rather than cure but surely you would want to establish beyond doubt your condition and maybe a trip to the UK hospitals together with your girlfriend would be a good idea especially when and where you could get confirmation of your condition and the amount of quality time that you may have or may not have left.

"My kids want me ro return to the UK. I want to live a normal life for as long as possible. To return to the UK would fell to me like going home to die."

I feel that you must keep your mind tracking on the positive and accept that you are going to have some negative and depressive thoughts, one of them being "going back to the UK to die"

The fact is that you would be going to the UK for more than one reason, to confirm your condition at the excellent cancer hospitals there and also to see your children.

Hope and pray that will make the right choices

[cooked]

Thie isn't a question that Thaivisa can answer. Every one has different needs. Myself, I dream that I may stay here until the end. It is the palliative care bit that worries me. Good luck with your decision, which only you can make.

[JingerBen]

Die at home.

If the UK is your home, then return there.

If Thailand is your home, then remain here.

[Robby nz]

The reason I am here now is because when an old friend of mine was in his last weeks at a hospice with an incurable cancer he said to me "You never know what life will bring, if there is something you want to do, do it now"

That was when I decided to get out and Thailand is the place I ended up and will be, barring accident on the way, where my life finishes.

I can only echo my friends words to you, do what you want to do, don't worry about leaving things for others make the most of the time you have left, what you want to do and where you want to do is up to you.

The best any of us can wish for is a pain free passing in the arms of someone who loves us.

[smokie36]

A guy I know is 69 and just foregone his throat cancer treatment to go off to Thailand for six months.

He's solvent and remains reasonably fit.

He knows perfectly well what he is doing.....a tough choice but one he has made....and you have to admire him for it.

I wish you all the best OP and hope you get much longer than your prognosis suggests.

My grandfather was given six months Max in 1976 and jogged along until 2004.