Why do Thais say not my business or your business

[Tonyguy]

Good morning thaivia community. I am interested in your experience on when Thais say "not my business or your business". When I try to discuss news about a tragic event I read about in Thailand my girlfriend is not keen about the discussion and finishes it with "not my business or your business" is this because Thais shy away from such discussions about tragedy or bad things happening to others?

[Dancealot]

I think what she really means to say is because you don't know all the facts about that tragic event it is useless to discuss it.

[MAJIC]

I believe it's because you are not Thai and they do not want you to know too much!

[RandomSand]

It's a common attitiude in Asia and it relates to not getting involved in others affairs. A form of karma.

The best way I can describe it is this: the sharp knife cuts through swifter. The muddled knife becomes a burden.

You don't understand why it would be considered getting into others affairs, and your gf thinks you're not very smart to ignorantly get involved with others affairs!

You're gf has good Asian morals. She's a keeper. You can learn from her... or you can decide you're smarter, your call...

Edited November 15, 2014 by RandomSand

[Tonyguy]

Thanks for the insights. Interesting insight from RandomSands. Yes your right she has many inner qualities, I am lucky to have her.

[robblok]

Not all Thais are the same my gf often discusses the news with me about the ko tao thing or other stuff. She has no problems with negative stuff about Thailanf. I know quite a few others that are the same.

Just read how many Thais discuss the ko tao police investigation.

So many examples of Thais discussing or reacting on the news that i cant say i agree with randomsand.

It might be common but just read the news about the garbage man and the rich lady that helps him.

[mariner16]

I think this discussion neatly encapsulates how Thailand, among other Asian nations, is changing. Depending on background and upbringing the traditional attitudes are still to be found but more and more younger Thais are reflecting their exposure to western, or should that be American, attitudes as portrayed on the various forms of media and ultimately the country will change with them.

[daoyai]

I think she is saying it is not a topic of interest to her, if she is intereted it will be "her business" and yours.

Edited November 15, 2014 by daoyai

[benalibina]

Those type of people dont care, they dont want to think, let alone talk, about it because it is not affecting them. IMO it has nothing to do with good Asian morals. If a subject is thai related and negative...those type of people....like some on this forum as well....just do not want to be confronted with...a negative....truth.....national pride...

[Briggsy]

By discussing an item in the news, your GF has to "switch on" 2 skills and also proffer opinions.

The skills are

1) Conversing regarding abstract principles such as a morality in a foreign language

2) Use critical thinking.

Both of the above involve mental effort for no gain.

Proffering opinions is dangerous as your opinions may lead to disagreement, again for no gain.

What your girlfriend is doing is closing down the discussion for the above 2 reasons, i.e. effort for no gain, potential conflict for no gain.

[Tonyguy]

People and cultures can be simply boxed as "these type of people" people are multifaceted and "these type" is close minded and judgemental. People are far more diverse than that.

Mariner16 make an interesting observation of a society in change and my girlfriend has that mix of traditional relief and western influence. Personally I find that fascinating in the Thais I meet and know.

[Fiddlesticks]

Probably reflects the gross apathy that exists in this nation. Is it any wonder why corruption is so pervasive? Perhaps if more Thai would take their heads out of the sand and take an active interest in the issues we may see some positive action to combat the problems of human trafficking, corruption, and senseless loss of life.

[Ace of Pop]

It sounds phoneticly like Mi Chi Tulac Con Coon . Roughly depending on area style, it "aint your buisiness ", and again ,generall you have annoyed a Thai too much if they say that to You.. .

[Somsrisonphimai]

To be blunt, what it does mean is more like "I have no opinion and I do not care to talk about it, so leave me alone."

[Tonyguy]

Thanks for your comment Somsrisonphsi helps my understanding

[Costas2008]

To be blunt, what it does mean is more like "I have no opinion and I do not care to talk about it, so leave me alone."

Thank you Somsrisonphimai, that was the best explanation.

My wife is in big trouble, next time I hear her saying that to me.

[hellohello123]

well at least she didnt say "its none of your business or you will lose FACE"

[Somsrisonphimai]

To be blunt, what it does mean is more like "I have no opinion and I do not care to talk about it, so leave me alone."

Thank you Somsrisonphimai, that was the best explanation.

My wife is in big trouble, next time I hear her saying that to me.

555, I bet your wife would say something like "Tirak, I really don't know what to say about this. I don't know these people. I feel bad for them but what else can I do?" No trouble for her, I am sure.

[harrry]

To be blunt, what it does mean is more like "I have no opinion and I do not care to talk about it, so leave me alone."

Thank you Somsrisonphimai, that was the best explanation.

My wife is in big trouble, next time I hear her saying that to me.

555, I bet your wife would say something like "Tirak, I really don't know what to say about this. I don't know these people. I feel bad for them but what else can I do?" No trouble for her, I am sure.

So Costas when you see your wife digging a duck pond and ask her why and she says "Not your bussiness." you had better not believe her.

Edited November 16, 2014 by harrry

[A1Str8]

That's odd since thais love to get involved in other people's affairs. Even they know that just don't want to admit it. So hearing it's not my business from a thai is strange. It is abnormal. Take her to see the doctor.

[HeijoshinCool]

Some of the above answers are close, but no cigars.

When Thais interrupt your bringing up a topic with, "not our business," or, "not our problem," it is a reluctance to pass judgement on others.

A fine attribute, to be sure. But it also complicates avoiding, through rational discussion, getting into the same/similar situation down the road.

[pomchop]

By discussing an item in the news, your GF has to "switch on" 2 skills and also proffer opinions.

The skills are

1) Conversing regarding abstract principles such as a morality in a foreign language

2) Use critical thinking.

Both of the above involve mental effort for no gain.

Proffering opinions is dangerous as your opinions may lead to disagreement, again for no gain.

What your girlfriend is doing is closing down the discussion for the above 2 reasons, i.e. effort for no gain, potential conflict for no gain.

Seems she might be onto something.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Usually they say "not my mother or father", if you can't speak Thai

mai chai paw, mai chai mare, if you can speak Thai.

If they have a greater understanding of English, they will explain the concept,

I don't care about people who,

1. aren't related to me.

2. aren't known to me.

and depending on the person,

3. aren't Thai

Once I was speaking to a gf about an earthquake killing xxx people in India, the reply, not my mother father.

Edited November 16, 2014 by AnotherOneAmerican

[h90]

Not all Thais are the same my gf often discusses the news with me about the ko tao thing or other stuff. She has no problems with negative stuff about Thailanf. I know quite a few others that are the same.

Just read how many Thais discuss the ko tao police investigation.

So many examples of Thais discussing or reacting on the news that i cant say i agree with randomsand.

It might be common but just read the news about the garbage man and the rich lady that helps him.

The best example is: there are plenty newspapers in Thailand and beside news they publish opinions....So there must be enough people who are interested in it.

[willyumiii]

Some of the above answers are close, but no cigars.

When Thais interrupt your bringing up a topic with, "not our business," or, "not our problem," it is a reluctance to pass judgement on others.

A fine attribute, to be sure. But it also complicates avoiding, through rational discussion, getting into the same/similar situation down the road.

All of these explanations about not wanting to pass judgement or get involved in the affairs of others baffle me!

Thai people love to gossip about everyone and everything!

Very judgmental and eager to get involved.

I once read that it is a waste of time to learn to speak Thai because the only things Thais talk about are food and gossip.

Now that I understand the language better....I agree!

Ever had an intellectual conversation with a Thai?

Maybe it is just the intellectual topics they do not want to discuss???? 555

[HeijoshinCool]

Some of the above answers are close, but no cigars.

When Thais interrupt your bringing up a topic with, "not our business," or, "not our problem," it is a reluctance to pass judgement on others.

A fine attribute, to be sure. But it also complicates avoiding, through rational discussion, getting into the same/similar situation down the road.

All of these explanations about not wanting to pass judgement or get involved in the affairs of others baffle me!

Thai people love to gossip about everyone and everything!

Very judgmental and eager to get involved.

I once read that it is a waste of time to learn to speak Thai because the only things Thais talk about are food and gossip.

Now that I understand the language better....I agree!

Ever had an intellectual conversation with a Thai?

Maybe it is just the intellectual topics they do not want to discuss???? 555

.

I wasn't referring to all Thais, just the decent ones, like my wife. Rural Thais are usually as you describe.

Yes, I have had an intellectual conversation with a Thai, but they are rare in the general populace.

[bina]

anotherone american has hit it;

provincial thais are very nosey in things that are in their own village; gossip is fun. anything else is usually not seen as interseting, there is no point in getting interested in it, there is no benefit in it, and you cant do anything about it so why bother.

hubby is the same. i show him some road that got washed away in a large town half an hour from here: his answer is along the lines of 'mai son jai' (dont pay attention). howver, the latest news among the local thais living 10 mintues away is big big news (in trouble with an employer) since they are the closest thing to 'family' here for him. so yes,

not my father et al is the answer.

[ATF]

I think Sherlock Holmes coined it in one of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's books.

"My brain has a limited capacity therefore why would I choose to fill parts of it with information that is of absolute no use to me."