Help or not help?

[Somsrisonphimai]

A couple of weeks ago, I posted on my Facebook asking my friends about the school in my village and how many class and student are there. I want to motivate the students to go to school and be a good student, so I plan to give the top 3 students in each class a gift for the new year.

Ok, why my Facebook's post has to do with anything? Well, on my Facebook page, I have many friends that are from my village, Phimai, Korat. After my posting, one of the Facebook friends sent me a message telling me about the house where her children are living will be taken away if she does not pay down the loan interest by the end of the year. She said her boyfriend at the time was supposed to make monthly payment, but he never did make payments, so now the interest is kept piling up. She and her boyfriend are no longer together. Their children are with the grandma (boyfriend's mom) in the village that is farther away from my village. The grandma is taking care of their children. My Facebook friend has been supporting them.

She asked me if there is anything I could do to help her. The amount to pay the interest at the end of the year is 7,000baht. But, she will still owe the principle of 20,000bath and will need to make monthly interest payment of 800baht until she pays off the principle. She and her ex boyfriend took the loan from the finance company in Phimai. She said the money was to improve the house their children live in. She does not live with her children. She does have a job and have the apartment close to her job in the city. She said she is making about $500/month but has a lot of expenses such as rent, food, send the money to her children, etc. She is unable to save the money to pay off the interest because the notice came in such a short period of time.

I don't know how to handle this. She is not part of my family, although, I knew her since we were young as she used to live next to us, we were never really friend. I have seen her or spoken with her for years and years until she sent me a Facebook friend request a couple months ago.

I will feel bad and will regret it later if I don't help her especially if the story is true and I am able to help her. My family is not sure about the story because the house is not in the same village as ours, but I am tempting to help her.

What would you do if you were me? Should I not give the students the gifts and help this family pay off the loan so that they don't have to worry about their house will be taken away?

[CharlieH]

STOP, I believe this is a well known and worked scam ! I have seen this many many times. DONT fall for it.

If you believe it to be genuine, you have contacts here in Thailand, check it out first.

Its is also against forum rules to lobby members, so please do not suggest anyone "give" or support this.

Post removed:

22) Members are forbidden to ask for or accept donations, gifts or commissions from other members, any charities must contact support for approval before joining. before joining to be approved. http://www.thaivisa.com/contact

[CharlieH]

A post commenting on moderation has been removed.

[Bluetongue]

Well if I were you I would not give anything. At present then, no-one is living in the house and no-one is suffering, your money would only improve her bottom line not life for anyone. Just stick to your original plan which was a nice thought, I think Charlie may be right as well.

Edit to add, that interest rate works out to be 48% nice dosh for the finance co.

[Chonburiram]

Block her. Or even better... delete your fb account.

[Somsrisonphimai]

Block her. Or even better... delete your fb account.

I knew her. She is a few year younger than me. It is hard to think that she will be scamming me .

[Somsrisonphimai]

Well if I were you I would not give anything. At present then, no-one is living in the house and no-one is suffering, your money would only improve her bottom line not life for anyone. Just stick to your original plan which was a nice thought, I think Charlie may be right as well.

Edit to add, that interest rate works out to be 48% nice dosh for the finance co.

I remembered when I was in six grade, I got a present from my teacher because I was in the top 3 of the class. I was so happy to get it even it was just candies. I want to relive that moment to see the kids smile like I was. I think the students need recognition and motivation sometimes. So yes, I will still give the kids a present.

[starky]

Block her. Or even better... delete your fb account.

I knew her. She is a few year younger than me. It is hard to think that she will be scramming me .

I don't think it's her that's doing the scamming or scramming

[Somsrisonphimai]

Block her. Or even better... delete your fb account.

I knew her. She is a few year younger than me. It is hard to think that she will be scramming me .

I don't think it's her that's doing the scamming or scramming

What is it then?

[Chonburiram]

She is not your year, you where not friends, tell her she should ask her children father(s?) to take care. Block her. Stop trolling.

[sipi]

Oh come on Dear. There are some on this forum that will sell their soul to help, if required, I am one of them.

But....

Long yawn.........................................

[Crazy chef 1]

have to think about it it- let you know by tomorrow.

[daveAustin]

Never a borrower nor a lender be.

[mrtoad]

Sounds exceptionaly dodgy

[sdanielmcev]

Depends a lot if you have the disposable cash, or not. Also the wherewithal to say no next time. Maybe give her some, not all, and see how it goes. I like to help, not do it for them.

[CharlieH]

sarcastic rant removed

[Morakot]

What would you do if you were me?

Very good question, but difficult to say what would be the "right" answer.

If you give your FB "friend" the money --without finding out more about her specific circumstance-- it may be wasted and you might be taken advantage off. If you find out more, it will be generally harder to say "No" to her, as you may raise her hope.

You've indicated that you have the money spare and that you're happy to help. That's great! One way to look at this is, what could achieve the greatest "utility". Your donation could potentially inspire three young people to escape the shackles of social deprivation in the long run; it may nudging them towards helping themselves to be better students and may contribute to a better future for them. This is opposite to giving for relieving immediate hardship that tends to more certain, but is often short-lived and possibly creates dependencies.

Best of luck!

[TooPoopedToPop]

Buy the motivational gifts for the students.

Only help members of your family or very close friends with money loans.

[apetley]

If you really want to help her ask for the name of the finance company and account details so you can pay off the interest directly.

If she's genuine she will have the details.

[Sharp]

Even if it's true after the dept is cleared another loan will be taken out for sure.... Drop it in my opinion...

[nooption]

Show compassion and give all you can. Thats what buddha would say. Not all thai people are scammers. Think of the children.

A goodheart woman will not turn her back on a chilhood friend.

[Somsrisonphimai]

If you really want to help her ask for the name of the finance company and account details so you can pay off the interest directly.

If she's genuine she will have the details.

I have not even thought of it. I will request that from her. Thank you so much for this idea.

[geronimo]

Those who are not compassionate ought not to heap scorn on those that are!

[wooloomooloo]

OP, if you are going to help, you should certainly ensure that the debt is genuine before proceeding any further.

If the debt is genuine then pay the amount that you are willing to donate directly to the finance company.

I would also add conditions to the donation in so much that your childhood friend provides monthly evidence of making the principal repayments to the finance company. You could also offer advice on managing her finances and decide whether she is able to afford the remaining instalments.

Can you visit her personally at her home before making your decision?

If she doesn't continue to make regular principal repayments then your donation will have been for nothing and she will only defer the problem until a later date.

Long-term constructive support will be more fulfilling than just making a donation.

[arminbkk]

From the OP:

"She is not part of my family, although, I knew her since we were young as she used to live next to us, we were never really friend. I have seen her or spoken with her for years and years until she sent me a Facebook friend request a couple months ago."

For that reason I would not.

[Somsrisonphimai]

Wanted to share the story and situation of another person going through. Not really looking for anything else except an honest opinion. It is not what the forum is about? Share your thought and idea of the information?

[arminbkk]

OP, from you OP I understand that your 'long lost friend' has an ex boyfriend, with whom she has kids, correct?

Why does the ex boyfriend get away so easily with not paying, or at least contributing, for the house for his kids?

Does your 'friend' still chase him for that?

Just curious.

[Somsrisonphimai]

OP, if you are going to help, you should certainly ensure that the debt is genuine before proceeding any further.

If the debt is genuine then pay the amount that you are willing to donate directly to the finance company.

I would also add conditions to the donation in so much that your childhood friend provides monthly evidence of making the principal repayments to the finance company. You could also offer advice on managing her finances and decide whether she is able to afford the remaining instalments.

Can you visit her personally at her home before making your decision?

If she doesn't continue to make regular principal repayments then your donation will have been for nothing and she will only defer the problem until a later date.

Long-term constructive support will be more fulfilling than just making a donation.

I don't really need a hassle. I could pay for the whole loan and be done with it. The principle behind it that is what got me. People say when you give gift to other people, you should not care what happen to it. I put money away for the students' gift and happy and look forward to it. But why am I feeling uneasy to help this girl?

[kannot]

Give her the money, you will feel good she will feel good and she can then move onto the next "friend"

Too many bone idle scamming scum in Thailand, as I said leeching off the "good" is something they excel in here.

[wooloomooloo]

Like I said, can you visit the lady in question prior to making your decision?

You have obviously had your conscience pricked by this former friend or you wouldn't be asking the question.