I am trying to understand Thai logic

[Berkshire]

I will tell you this.

I will absolutely refuse to be with a girl that sends money home even if it is not my money. Does not matter if the girl is good or bad. This is not a I am better than you statement, it is simply for the fact that her family will always be he more important and I will come last. I just want to be in a normal relationship. Find a gal who's family is set. Not rich, but they have pension, some land (preferably that was there for a few generations), steady income from palm and rubber and you won't have to worry about this crap.

BTW, smoking and drinking is not an attribute of a bad girl. They come in many varieties. Most bad girls do take very good care of themselves.

I can never understand this sort of attitude. So you want a girl who doesn't care much for her parents, even if they're living in dirt huts and eating grass every day, you won't respect her if she tries to help them out? What you want is a totally selfish winch. I've got news for you. A girl like this will only have one person on her priority list and it still won't be you.

Just curious, if you want a girl who thinks the same as you, why not look in your home country?

You seem to have missed a major point, tgfaf said, "Find a gal who's family is set. Not rich, but they have pension, some land (preferably that was there for a few generations), steady income from palm and rubber and you won't have to worry about this crap."

Where do you read he wants, " . . . a girl who doesn't care much for her parents, even if they're living in dirt huts and eating grass every day . . ."?

Let's face it, most Thai girls who are interested in farangs are not going to be financially well-off. If she was, what interest would she have in a farang? But even if she was financially independent, I find that pretty much every Thai female I've ever met wants to help out their parents financially, even if the parents don't need it. And he would deny her this small gesture? Give to charity instead? Not cool in my book.

Now he says that he prefers women about his own age, which is reasonable. He'll have a much better shot at finding someone who won't be financially dependent on him. But the question remains: if that's what he's looking for, wouldn't it be much easier and "logical" to find someone in his home country, someone who shares his values and beliefs? It's clear that he doesn't want to answer that question, and I'm fine with that.

[willyumiii]

The OP is not trying to understand Thai logic.

He is looking for support and reinforcement for his decision to ignore and disrespect Thai culture.

He states that the girls parents come first and he refuses to be last.....

That means everyone else in her life comes before him.

With his attitude, I understand if she puts him last in her life.

I bet there are a lot of good people that fall between her parents status and his way down there in the basement.

Find a place and culture where parents don't matter.

Maybe an orphanage?

*** I put my entire life on hold to take care of my mother's needs in her last 3 years of life and did it again later to take care of my father for the last 7 years of his life.

There were other options.

I chose to repay the love and support they gave to me my entire life.

Decades later I am still confident I made the right choice.

I am not Thai.

Love and respect of parents is a worldwide concept for non selfish people.

Edited January 5, 2015 by willyumiii

[Berkshire]

The OP is not trying to understand Thai logic.

He is looking for support and reinforcement for his decision to ignore and disrespect Thai culture.

He states that the girls parents come first and he refuses to be last.....

That means everyone else in her life comes before him.

With his attitude, I understand if she puts him last in her life.

I bet there are a lot of good people that fall between her parents status and his way down there in the basement.

Find a place and culture where parents don't matter.

Maybe an orphanage?

*** I put my entire life on hold to take care of my mother's needs in her last 3 years of life and did it again later to take care of my father for the last 7 years of his life.

There were other options.

I chose to repay the love and support they gave to me my entire life.

Decades later I am still confident I made the right choice.

I am not Thai.

Love and respect of parents is a worldwide concept for non selfish people.

Wow, Willy, well said. Rock on.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Let's face it, most Thai girls who are interested in farangs are not going to be financially well-off. If she was, what interest would she have in a farang? But even if she was financially independent, I find that pretty much every Thai female I've ever met wants to help out their parents financially, even if the parents don't need it. And he would deny her this small gesture? Give to charity instead? Not cool in my book.

Now he says that he prefers women about his own age, which is reasonable. He'll have a much better shot at finding someone who won't be financially dependent on him. But the question remains: if that's what he's looking for, wouldn't it be much easier and "logical" to find someone in his home country, someone who shares his values and beliefs? It's clear that he doesn't want to answer that question, and I'm fine with that.

Are trolling?

Every Thai female wants to help their parents financially?

I am not very experienced with Thai women as most Pattaya regulars here. As a matter of fact I only had 2. One was living in Canada and her parents were paying for her school. She helped them jack $ with money and was actually getting monthly allowance. She was in her early 20's while I was pushing 40. Now, let me tell you that I am neither rich or good looking, but she just wanted to be with a white guy to brag. So it was not about money it was about her ego.

This gf (soon to be wife) is about 10 times poorer than her parents. I still do not understand why does she need to send them money?

What is the point of your post?

As for me why I don't get a woman from my country the answer is simple. Thai women are prettier and there are many to choose from.

I mean.... what do you want me to say?

[Berkshire]

As for me why I don't get a woman from my country the answer is simple. Thai women are prettier and there are many to choose from.

I mean.... what do you want me to say?

Ok, I get it. Thai women are more accessible. That's all you had to say.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

As for me why I don't get a woman from my country the answer is simple. Thai women are prettier and there are many to choose from.

I mean.... what do you want me to say?

Ok, I get it. Thai women are more accessible. That's all you had to say.

Sure.

So what?

[benalibina]

The OP is not trying to understand Thai logic.

He is looking for support and reinforcement for his decision to ignore and disrespect Thai culture.

He states that the girls parents come first and he refuses to be last.....

That means everyone else in her life comes before him.

With his attitude, I understand if she puts him last in her life.

I bet there are a lot of good people that fall between her parents status and his way down there in the basement.

Find a place and culture where parents don't matter.

Maybe an orphanage?

*** I put my entire life on hold to take care of my mother's needs in her last 3 years of life and did it again later to take care of my father for the last 7 years of his life.

There were other options.

I chose to repay the love and support they gave to me my entire life.

Decades later I am still confident I made the right choice.

I am not Thai.

Love and respect of parents is a worldwide concept for non selfish people.

How well intented your post is, and very commendable, there is a difference between willing to take care ones parents and MUST take care ones parents. In our societies we, as individuals, have a choice to take care our parents or not. Usually in case when we need to do it, it is primarily emotionally or fysically. Overhere it is more conditioning. Usually the one who is in a relationship with a foreigner, financially dependent mostly of him, is the one who gets the most pressure from her peers to support mummy or daddy and the others in the family. Manipulation. But lucklily....many foreigners end up with the most responsible sibling of the whole

family.......this is the reality, apart from the ones marrying into well educated middle/upper class families...which seems the standard by reading on this forum.

[rocketboybkk]

In Thai its ALL about the present.... No thought for the future. Just give up

Agreed

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[sundrenched]

There's nothing wrong with searching for and marrying a girl of the same or at least stable economic class compared with your own. I wouldn't want to marry a poor girl as well with a large extended family as well. You become the patron in that case and believe me you will get saddled with 100% of the economic responsibilities. This is a huge burden for any man to take on.

A million time +1. I'm not a callous person but I like an easy life and have a good instinct for keeping it that way. If I meet a local of a similar level I would date in the West, great. If not, Thailand's a great place to be single, and reading threads like this reminds me I can do without the headache. Edited January 5, 2015 by sundrenched

[KonaRain]

Every Asian in Hawaii..and U.S. sends $$ to their families.

They helped get them there.

Europeans do also...

I'm trying to help You..?

[Bakeman]

I am trying to understand Thai logic

One word............... DON'T

[Aussieroaming]

Maybe you should just carry on with your life and wife and not worry about the way your in-laws manage their finances. This isnt meant as an insult, i just mean get on with life and let them do their thing

[smotherb]

I will tell you this.

I will absolutely refuse to be with a girl that sends money home even if it is not my money. Does not matter if the girl is good or bad. This is not a I am better than you statement, it is simply for the fact that her family will always be he more important and I will come last. I just want to be in a normal relationship. Find a gal who's family is set. Not rich, but they have pension, some land (preferably that was there for a few generations), steady income from palm and rubber and you won't have to worry about this crap.

BTW, smoking and drinking is not an attribute of a bad girl. They come in many varieties. Most bad girls do take very good care of themselves.

I can never understand this sort of attitude. So you want a girl who doesn't care much for her parents, even if they're living in dirt huts and eating grass every day, you won't respect her if she tries to help them out? What you want is a totally selfish winch. I've got news for you. A girl like this will only have one person on her priority list and it still won't be you.

Just curious, if you want a girl who thinks the same as you, why not look in your home country?

You seem to have missed a major point, tgfaf said, "Find a gal who's family is set. Not rich, but they have pension, some land (preferably that was there for a few generations), steady income from palm and rubber and you won't have to worry about this crap."

Where do you read he wants, " . . . a girl who doesn't care much for her parents, even if they're living in dirt huts and eating grass every day . . ."?

Let's face it, most Thai girls who are interested in farangs are not going to be financially well-off. If she was, what interest would she have in a farang? But even if she was financially independent, I find that pretty much every Thai female I've ever met wants to help out their parents financially, even if the parents don't need it. And he would deny her this small gesture? Give to charity instead? Not cool in my book.

Now he says that he prefers women about his own age, which is reasonable. He'll have a much better shot at finding someone who won't be financially dependent on him. But the question remains: if that's what he's looking for, wouldn't it be much easier and "logical" to find someone in his home country, someone who shares his values and beliefs? It's clear that he doesn't want to answer that question, and I'm fine with that.

I don't agree. I have had a Thai gf who was wealthy and not interested in my money and I know other farangs who have similar relationships. I believe many Thai girls are farang-curious and if they met a farang who was not a sexpat or a drunk, there might be a relationship. It's the farangs who choose the poor girls who sell their bodies; perhaps because those girls are too easy to get for just a few baht.

The collectivist penchant to support family is worldwide, not just Thailand. It is their cultural security. A relationship between differing cultures is in more need of compromise than a relationship of only racial difference. However, if your actions cannot convince your lover to put you above others--which seems to be a widespread farang problem--most farangs simply buy their way into the relationship as an ATM.

It may be easier, but it would not be logical, for me to choose a Western woman; I prefer Asian women and living in Asia. So your statements; although they may be problematic for many farangs, simply make no sense to me.

[AYJAYDEE]

I will tell you this.

I will absolutely refuse to be with a girl that sends money home even if it is not my money. Does not matter if the girl is good or bad. This is not a I am better than you statement, it is simply for the fact that her family will always be he more important and I will come last. I just want to be in a normal relationship. Find a gal who's family is set. Not rich, but they have pension, some land (preferably that was there for a few generations), steady income from palm and rubber and you won't have to worry about this crap.

BTW, smoking and drinking is not an attribute of a bad girl. They come in many varieties. Most bad girls do take very good care of themselves.

I can never understand this sort of attitude. So you want a girl who doesn't care much for her parents, even if they're living in dirt huts and eating grass every day, you won't respect her if she tries to help them out? What you want is a totally selfish winch. I've got news for you. A girl like this will only have one person on her priority list and it still won't be you.

Just curious, if you want a girl who thinks the same as you, why not look in your home country?

You seem to have missed a major point, tgfaf said, "Find a gal who's family is set. Not rich, but they have pension, some land (preferably that was there for a few generations), steady income from palm and rubber and you won't have to worry about this crap."

Where do you read he wants, " . . . a girl who doesn't care much for her parents, even if they're living in dirt huts and eating grass every day . . ."?

Let's face it, most Thai girls who are interested in farangs are not going to be financially well-off. If she was, what interest would she have in a farang? But even if she was financially independent, I find that pretty much every Thai female I've ever met wants to help out their parents financially, even if the parents don't need it. And he would deny her this small gesture? Give to charity instead? Not cool in my book.

Now he says that he prefers women about his own age, which is reasonable. He'll have a much better shot at finding someone who won't be financially dependent on him. But the question remains: if that's what he's looking for, wouldn't it be much easier and "logical" to find someone in his home country, someone who shares his values and beliefs? It's clear that he doesn't want to answer that question, and I'm fine with that.

just because someone lives in the same country as you does not mean they will share your values. interests? perhaps. beliefs? maybe.

[Berkshire]

Let's face it, most Thai girls who are interested in farangs are not going to be financially well-off. If she was, what interest would she have in a farang? But even if she was financially independent, I find that pretty much every Thai female I've ever met wants to help out their parents financially, even if the parents don't need it. And he would deny her this small gesture? Give to charity instead? Not cool in my book.

Now he says that he prefers women about his own age, which is reasonable. He'll have a much better shot at finding someone who won't be financially dependent on him. But the question remains: if that's what he's looking for, wouldn't it be much easier and "logical" to find someone in his home country, someone who shares his values and beliefs? It's clear that he doesn't want to answer that question, and I'm fine with that.

I don't agree. I have had a Thai gf who was wealthy and not interested in my money and I know other farangs who have similar relationships. I believe many Thai girls are farang-curious and if they met a farang who was not a sexpat or a drunk, there might be a relationship. It's the farangs who choose the poor girls who sell their bodies; perhaps because those girls are too easy to get for just a few baht.

The collectivist penchant to support family is worldwide, not just Thailand. It is their cultural security. A relationship between differing cultures is in more need of compromise than a relationship of only racial difference. However, if your actions cannot convince your lover to put you above others--which seems to be a widespread farang problem--most farangs simply buy their way into the relationship as an ATM.

It may be easier, but it would not be logical, for me to choose a Western woman; I prefer Asian women and living in Asia. So your statements; although they may be problematic for many farangs, simply make no sense to me.

You guys are constantly bringing up exceptions to the rule. Do you think this is true in the majority of cases? I don't dispute that what you say is true in your case, but in most cases, I stand by my comments. Most "normal" Thai girls just want a normal relationship with a guy they can communicate with perfectly (i.e., in Thai). And without "the stigma." I've met many Thai women who are interested in farangs, but when you get down to the reasons, finances is typically at the core of the relationship.

Now if one can speak Thai, it changes everything. It really does.

[Berkshire]

just because someone lives in the same country as you does not mean they will share your values. interests? perhaps. beliefs? maybe.

Well of course this is true. But the chances are better, wouldn't you say? And why do farangs in Thailand typically seek out other farangs for companionship/friendship? Certainly not just for the language compatibility.

[AYJAYDEE]

just because someone lives in the same country as you does not mean they will share your values. interests? perhaps. beliefs? maybe.

Well of course this is true. But the chances are better, wouldn't you say? And why do farangs in Thailand typically seek out other farangs for companionship/friendship? Certainly not just for the language compatibility.

no i wouldnt. and they seek each other out because of shared INTERESTS not values.

[AYJAYDEE]

Let's face it, most Thai girls who are interested in farangs are not going to be financially well-off. If she was, what interest would she have in a farang? But even if she was financially independent, I find that pretty much every Thai female I've ever met wants to help out their parents financially, even if the parents don't need it. And he would deny her this small gesture? Give to charity instead? Not cool in my book.

Now he says that he prefers women about his own age, which is reasonable. He'll have a much better shot at finding someone who won't be financially dependent on him. But the question remains: if that's what he's looking for, wouldn't it be much easier and "logical" to find someone in his home country, someone who shares his values and beliefs? It's clear that he doesn't want to answer that question, and I'm fine with that.

I don't agree. I have had a Thai gf who was wealthy and not interested in my money and I know other farangs who have similar relationships. I believe many Thai girls are farang-curious and if they met a farang who was not a sexpat or a drunk, there might be a relationship. It's the farangs who choose the poor girls who sell their bodies; perhaps because those girls are too easy to get for just a few baht.

The collectivist penchant to support family is worldwide, not just Thailand. It is their cultural security. A relationship between differing cultures is in more need of compromise than a relationship of only racial difference. However, if your actions cannot convince your lover to put you above others--which seems to be a widespread farang problem--most farangs simply buy their way into the relationship as an ATM.

It may be easier, but it would not be logical, for me to choose a Western woman; I prefer Asian women and living in Asia. So your statements; although they may be problematic for many farangs, simply make no sense to me.

You guys are constantly bringing up exceptions to the rule. Do you think this is true in the majority of cases? I don't dispute that what you say is true in your case, but in most cases, I stand by my comments. Most "normal" Thai girls just want a normal relationship with a guy they can communicate with perfectly (i.e., in Thai). And without "the stigma." I've met many Thai women who are interested in farangs, but when you get down to the reasons, finances is typically at the core of the relationship.

Now if one can speak Thai, it changes everything. It really does.

most thai women that I know married to farang chose them because they believed the odds of finding a faithful one were better

[AZBill]

From what I have seen Thais are notoriously bad with money. They are impulsive and are easily sold on just about anything. My wife was also this way and her family still is. Only after years of living in the US and learning the concept of a budget and the ramifications of exceeding it did my wife come around. Now she is very responsible and understands the value of a buck. Her family now frustrates her to no end on how they handle their own finances.

[smotherb]

Let's face it, most Thai girls who are interested in farangs are not going to be financially well-off. If she was, what interest would she have in a farang? But even if she was financially independent, I find that pretty much every Thai female I've ever met wants to help out their parents financially, even if the parents don't need it. And he would deny her this small gesture? Give to charity instead? Not cool in my book.

Now he says that he prefers women about his own age, which is reasonable. He'll have a much better shot at finding someone who won't be financially dependent on him. But the question remains: if that's what he's looking for, wouldn't it be much easier and "logical" to find someone in his home country, someone who shares his values and beliefs? It's clear that he doesn't want to answer that question, and I'm fine with that.

I don't agree. I have had a Thai gf who was wealthy and not interested in my money and I know other farangs who have similar relationships. I believe many Thai girls are farang-curious and if they met a farang who was not a sexpat or a drunk, there might be a relationship. It's the farangs who choose the poor girls who sell their bodies; perhaps because those girls are too easy to get for just a few baht.

The collectivist penchant to support family is worldwide, not just Thailand. It is their cultural security. A relationship between differing cultures is in more need of compromise than a relationship of only racial difference. However, if your actions cannot convince your lover to put you above others--which seems to be a widespread farang problem--most farangs simply buy their way into the relationship as an ATM.

It may be easier, but it would not be logical, for me to choose a Western woman; I prefer Asian women and living in Asia. So your statements; although they may be problematic for many farangs, simply make no sense to me.

You guys are constantly bringing up exceptions to the rule. Do you think this is true in the majority of cases? I don't dispute that what you say is true in your case, but in most cases, I stand by my comments. Most "normal" Thai girls just want a normal relationship with a guy they can communicate with perfectly (i.e., in Thai). And without "the stigma." I've met many Thai women who are interested in farangs, but when you get down to the reasons, finances is typically at the core of the relationship.

Now if one can speak Thai, it changes everything. It really does.

most thai women that I know married to farang chose them because they believed the odds of finding a faithful one were better

Bershire, you talk about exceptions, then you posit the exception, if you speak Thai? What if the girl speaks English? Exceptions are the rule my friend.

Ajaydee, most farang-Thai relationships I know, and the majority I read about here on TV, the Thai girl is overly jealous and thinks the farang will always be the playboy. With the apparent never-ending supply of willing Thai girl playmates, I see their point.

[AYJAYDEE]

Bershire, you talk about exceptions, then you posit the exception, if you speak Thai? What if the girl speaks English? Exceptions are the rule my friend.

Ajaydee, most farang-Thai relationships I know, and the majority I read about here on TV, the Thai girl is overly jealous and thinks the farang will always be the playboy. With the apparent never-ending supply of willing Thai girl playmates, I see their point.

never believe anything u read on TV and you dont know the women i know.

[IMA_FARANG]

I don't mean to be impolite to the OP, but you are not trying to understand "Thai logic".

What you are really trying to do is to fit the actions of certain Thai individuals you know into your pre-conceived and learned cultural behavior patterns.

That is not unusual, all human beings have a learned pattern of behavior from their youth and culture that they regard as "normal behavior".

They use this preconceived "normal behavior" as a pattern ..... a "measuring rod"......... to judge the actions of others against their preconceived cultural norm.

It will probably shock you to know that as much as you think the Thai people you are judging are being "illogical: (I,e, their actions do not meet your preconceived cultural pattern) those Thais (*who have their own preconceived cultural pattern) also regard your actions as "illogical".

[smotherb]

Bershire, you talk about exceptions, then you posit the exception, if you speak Thai? What if the girl speaks English? Exceptions are the rule my friend.

Ajaydee, most farang-Thai relationships I know, and the majority I read about here on TV, the Thai girl is overly jealous and thinks the farang will always be the playboy. With the apparent never-ending supply of willing Thai girl playmates, I see their point.

never believe anything u read on TV and you dont know the women i know.

While I tend to agree with your first statement, we may never know about the second

[AYJAYDEE]

Bershire, you talk about exceptions, then you posit the exception, if you speak Thai? What if the girl speaks English? Exceptions are the rule my friend.

Ajaydee, most farang-Thai relationships I know, and the majority I read about here on TV, the Thai girl is overly jealous and thinks the farang will always be the playboy. With the apparent never-ending supply of willing Thai girl playmates, I see their point.

never believe anything u read on TV and you dont know the women i know.

While I tend to agree with your first statement, we may never know about the second

you may not

[northernjohn]

The best way I can understand Thai logic is by using my western logic to understand this little jewel I picked up

"Farongs live to work and Thais work to live." Now that does not apply to the retired or every one but it does in my opinion apply to the majority of un retired people.

[northernjohn]

I am trying to understand the logic behind some of the replies...............never mind the Thais.

thai bashing needs no logic

Neither does racism, religion, political affiliation, superiority complexes, personal relationships, or posting on TV. So, why bother? Most people are so logically challenged they cannot draw a logical conclusion. They simply bleat the last agreeable words they hear.

Well logically based decisions are great if you live by them it will be a boring life. Some times you just got to get out and live on the wild side.

[45slap]

Thai sons do not support their parents generally speaking. The women do.

[Banzai99]

Thai sons do not support their parents generally speaking. The women do.

Absolute rubbish, people like you have zero experience.

[Banzai99]

I have to snicker at Farangs talking about Thai this and Thai that....

They all choose to live here, they all have a choice to leave, but they don't leave, they choose to live in Thailand and whinge and whine....living the dream ? ( Crazy or what ? )

And of course you have the others, the ones that don't live in Thailand but are experts on all things Thai...yes, you know who you are... You're worse of all. You know nothing, but proclaim to be experts from thousands of miles away, pathetic.

[Banzai99]

If Thai Bashing was NOT allowed in the Forum rules.....

oh, hang on . it's a rule , it isn't allowed, so why is it so prevalent on this forum when the rules clearly state that it's an against the rules ?

Edited January 12, 2015 by Banzai99