Refused to pay for Thai gf's flight to Europe and now she's mad. Am I being unreasonable?

[fitfalang]

My girlfriend has been planning a trip to Europe with me for a while. She was under some impression that I was going to pay for her flight for some reason, to which I told her that she can pay it herself. Now she is mad and telling me she's not coming then.

I am by no means wealthy, just a student living on a student loan. She has a good office job by Thai standards and earns roughly the same amount as me (loan vs her salary). We are around the same age, she is a little older than me.

It's not only the fact that I'm actually not able to pay for her flight, but the principle that I don't want a girlfriend that needs my financial support. I'm pretty strict with this as reading TV for years has taught me to always be careful with Thai girls who ask for your money.

Normally we split everything 50/50 though, she is normally not of the type who expects for the man to pay for everything.

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

[mrtoad]

Welcome to the real world.

Take her for a slap up 99 baht breakfast and tell her she can keep the change of a hundred.

[ATF]

mrtoad, on 06 Jan 2015 - 13:09, said:

Welcome to the real world.

Take her for a slap up 99 baht breakfast and tell her she can keep the change of a hundred.

I think it'll more like a cold can of baked beans in his bedsit.

[robblok]

Not sure here.. i mean i also have shared cost with the gf. However a trip to Europe would be fun for you and if she is doing it just for you then why should she pay. You want her to visit Europe and such. I know that I always pay for tickets, its not her fault my family lives in Europe.

[Donnie Brasco]

How much are we talking about here ? . . . . . . than a thousand dollars ?

Borrow it from her.

If she behaves herself on the trip pay her back in dribs and drabs.

Pants.

[fey]

best response in these cases speaking from experience is to politely decline the offer unless the inviter offers to pay or makes it clear the trip is free.

advice goes for other things as well like fancy dinners, throwing parties and such.

[DLock]

"My girlfriend has been planning a trip to Europe with me for a while."

I think you statement is misleading, and it is you that perhaps suggested or even invited that she come to Europe with you...hence why she was under the impression.

After all, it's your decision if you want her to come to Europe with you...not hers. So, you opening comment is false.

Yes, you are unreasonable...and get used to having to provide some financial support if you want a Thai girlfriend.

Buy the ticket.

[djayz]

It depends on how much you like her and if youu really want her to meet your family and friends back in Europe. If this is the case, then you could pay for her flight.

[Soutpeel]

Well I guess the OP will be paying for services rendered so she can pay for flight then or someone will

I could suggest a romantic dinner of mamma noodles and fresh black truffle washed down with a vintage klong water

[AYJAYDEE]

well neither one of you thinks its worth paying for the ticket so leave it at that. obviously you guys cant afford it.

[mrtoad]

I think the OP is looking for some sympathy , anyone know where it can be found?

[MrTee]

cough up - it'll be fun for her and you ..

YOLO

[ATF]

She's not getting paid when she's on holiday with you. How much is the barfine?

[DLock]

I think the OP is looking for some sympathy , anyone know where it can be found?

Yes, between syphilis and and sycophant in the dictionary.

[lannarebirth]

Count yourself lucky on your 50/50 arrangements so far. In that spirit pay for 50% of her ticket. Are you so young that you don't know how fortunate you are?

Thais that aren't otherwise wealthy don't fly off to Europe on a whim.

[transam]

You farang "millionaire", YOU PAY............. ..................

[mrtoad]

She's not getting paid when she's on holiday with you. How much is the barfine?

99 baht?

[DLock]

She's not getting paid when she's on holiday with you. How much is the barfine?

99 baht?

..and on Mondays 69 baht.

[inzman]

Oh come on guys, who pays is realistically going to be what kind of a budget someone is on. Everybody here isn't a old codger living with a guaranteed pension every month, a student living on a loan isn't going to be able to pay for everything. The girl has a job, so she can pay also. Who said the trip was for him, are you really going to imply that she wouldn't enjoy a trip to Europe? You gotta be kidding me. My vote says she pays her own way in this situation .

[mrtoad]

She's not getting paid when she's on holiday with you. How much is the barfine?

99 baht?

..and on Mondays 69 baht.

Do you let her keep the change from a hundred?

[fitfalang]

Not sure here.. i mean i also have shared cost with the gf. However a trip to Europe would be fun for you and if she is doing it just for you then why should she pay. You want her to visit Europe and such. I know that I always pay for tickets, its not her fault my family lives in Europe.

No it was actually her suggestion - she wants to come because she's always wanted to see Europe.

I wouldn't personally mind just coming to Thailand instead for the holidays, but of course a trip to Europe with her would be fun.

She is using her friends as comparisons, who have +10 year old farang boyfriends with big incomes who of course pay for their trips. However I'm still a student and living on a similar budget as herself, but in a country where most things are twice as expensive as in Thailand. And someone said about not getting paid for holidays.. it will be paid annual leave combined with public holidays for her so she is indeed getting paid.

[neverdie]

How much are we talking about here ? . . . . . . than a thousand dollars ?

Borrow it from her.

If she behaves herself on the trip pay her back in dribs and drabs.

Pants.

Well said Donny.

Those courses you've been doing are really helping you !

I'd say the GF isn't feeling the love ATM.

[AYJAYDEE]

Oh come on guys, who pays is realistically going to be what kind of a budget someone is on. Everybody here isn't a old codger living with a guaranteed pension every month, a student living on a loan isn't going to be able to pay for everything. The girl has a job, so she can pay also. Who said the trip was for him, are you really going to imply that she wouldn't enjoy a trip to Europe? You gotta be kidding me. My vote says she pays her own way in this situation .

I wouldnt pay hard earned money to visit europe, especially if I was making a thai wage.

[Costas2008]

OP, stop being a cheap Charlie and pay the girls ticket.

Not only that but upgrade it to 1st class.........you can travel on economy.

Show her, what a loving husband you will become in the future.

As we all know, money is no object for us rich farangs.

[AYJAYDEE]

OP, stop being a cheap Charlie and pay the girls ticket.

Not only that but upgrade it to 1st class.........you can travel on economy.

Show her, what a loving husband you will become in the future.

As we all know, money is no object for us rich farangs.

then you pay it, he already told you he aint rich

[fitfalang]

OP-

Don't be so hard on yourself and for <deleted>'s sake man up and don't be such a sucker. She's your girlfriend not your wife or your family, she's got no claim to your cash. The facts are that you've got no leverage on her and frankly Thai women have a nasty habit of being theives and con artists. If you want to be a nice guy, you could offer to pay for 100% the meals and drinks in Europe (a significant expense). If she wont accept the terms, get a new girlfriend and count your blessing all the way to the bank.

Please dont be naive and think "she's different", please be careful and keep your money close.

gb33

Yeah thanks this is what I was thinking.

That's why I've been always careful with Thai girls and usually refuse to pay for for their shit - this is a good way to see what is their motivation to be with you in the first place. Works every time! The thing is I have only known this girl for a few months which is why im just being careful.

I don't want to invest any money on her before I can 100% trust her.

[krisb]

Pics always help us lot decide better.

You know, one pictures worth a thousand words.

[northernjohn]

As far as I can see there are many situations justifying one way or the other. Why it is a dispute is because you did not clarify the situation from the word go.

You should have said all I have is my student loan which is more than I need to live on in Thailand so I am going for a holiday in Europe. If you would like to go I can not afford the air fare for two. But if you could afford to buy your own ticket I would be more than happy to have you with me.

I am guessing with your attitude towards Thai women that is not how the whole plan developed.

[ATF]

krisb, on 06 Jan 2015 - 13:53, said:

Pics always help us lot decide better.

You know, one pictures worth a thousand words.

Good idea we'll wheel out the Slapper Meter.

[transam]

OP, why do YOU think many birds team up with a farang..?