Refused to pay for Thai gf's flight to Europe and now she's mad. Am I being unreasonable?

[Tomtomtom69]

hmmm, we're doing Europe in 6 months time, for 3 months.

I just paid the basic travel costs to the agent so far at AU6000.

This all works great for us...

• I pay.

• Missus tells all her Thai friends, sisters etc that she paid it all...

The point is that we are going no matter what - and wherever the money came from only matters to those HiSo's who want to keep thinking the dumb farang is poor, always poor, and missus is supporting him.

What are you talking about, no Thai thinks like this. To Thais "farangs" have money growing out of all the unpleasant parts of their bodies. Farangs are literally walking ATM machines and the vast majority of Thai girls, and all of their families expect the male farang to pay for her expenses, including overseas trips and the like.

[csabo]

The fact that you are mostly a 50/50 couple says she is not all bad. In fact, your doing better than most I think. The problem is her little temper tantrum. Talking it through and finding a compromise is the sign of maturity. Throwing around ultimatums is the sign of worse things to come. Call her bluff. Bon voyage.

[PhillyBoy]

If you invited her to go to Europe to visit you then pay the ticket for her. If she invited herself and you said "that would be great", pay the ticket. If you are a student....what are you doing with a Thai GF??? That is stupid!!!!

[Patsycat]

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The OP seems to have gone back to fantasyland so clearly his pikey earnings won't ever stretch to taking a woman to Europe the poor fool

Not all of us are so ugly they need to pay for pussy. It was her who wanted to Europe in the first place, not me inviting her. She's a traveler and that's the only continent she hasn't yet visited. I'd prefer to come to Thailand for my holidays anyway..

First of all, speaking as an American female, I do let the man pay... For just about everything. When we go to dinner, movies, and vacations. It's not because I'm a gold digger or don't have my own money, it's because that's the old fashioned way, and I'm not a submissive woman who caters to men. They can pursue and court ME until the day I'm married. Now this may be a Thai female you are talking about, but let's clear some things up. Men pay for women. Grow a pair and man up. Personally, there have been times that I've been dating a man who couldn't pay for trips, and because he was genuinely unable, I'd chip in financially, but honey please.... If this woman is coming to see YOU, be a man and get a part time job to pay for half at least. I'm what bizarro world would you expect a woman to pay her own way just to see you? Maybe if you were incapacitated in a hospital... Which you aren't. So get off your lazy bum and earn your share. Poor girl. Why would she date a little boy?

So you mean you are like a modern day prostitute? "Earn my share"? so she can have a fun trip to Europe she's always wanted? You do indeed sound like a prostitute.

Your comments about Western women are absolutely disgusting. You sound like a petulant little boy who is still hanging onto his mama's apron strings. Even your comments about your Thai girlfriend are horrible. I hope she drops your sorry ass and finds a man who treats her better than you do. And i hope she doesn't go to visit you in Europe - because she will certainly not enjoy herself at all.

And who's going to write the sponsor letter for her? I would guess your mama....

Where are you from in Europe? I think i can guess, where young men strut around like they own the world. And English is almost their second language.

Edited January 7, 2015 by Patsycat

[LuckyLew]

Not sure here.. i mean i also have shared cost with the gf. However a trip to Europe would be fun for you and if she is doing it just for you then why should she pay. You want her to visit Europe and such. I know that I always pay for tickets, its not her fault my family lives in Europe.

No it was actually her suggestion - she wants to come because she's always wanted to see Europe.

I wouldn't personally mind just coming to Thailand instead for the holidays, but of course a trip to Europe with her would be fun.

She is using her friends as comparisons, who have +10 year old farang boyfriends with big incomes who of course pay for their trips. However I'm still a student and living on a similar budget as herself, but in a country where most things are twice as expensive as in Thailand. And someone said about not getting paid for holidays.. it will be paid annual leave combined with public holidays for her so she is indeed getting paid.

Is she does not see and understand your current financial situation then tell her to stuff if

It will only get worse with time

You do not want to pay for her to come see you

and she does not want to pay to go see you

Seems like nether of you is willing to pay ... forget about it and move on

[tropo]

Whatever reason you came to Thailand, don't come again now that you do not want to support a girlfriend! Thailand is not the west so unless you do not want to support stay in the west! Love here starts and ends with money if you do not have the money do not start! If she wants a guy with no money like you she might as well stay home with her own kind.

No subtlety there, but spot on! You summed it up very well.

[tropo]

The fact that you are mostly a 50/50 couple says she is not all bad. In fact, your doing better than most I think. The problem is her little temper tantrum. Talking it through and finding a compromise is the sign of maturity. Throwing around ultimatums is the sign of worse things to come. Call her bluff. Bon voyage.

LOL. He's been "dating" her for 2 months. How long has he actually spent with her? It is far too early to stay things like that ("in fact, your doing better than most"). He hasn't even scratched the surface with this mysterious girl who has already travelled the world (except Europe), in her 20's and on a meager salary.

[Rhys]

Thinking with the right head?

[StreetCowboy]

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The OP seems to have gone back to fantasyland so clearly his pikey earnings won't ever stretch to taking a woman to Europe the poor fool

Not all of us are so ugly they need to pay for pussy. It was her who wanted to Europe in the first place, not me inviting her. She's a traveler and that's the only continent she hasn't yet visited. I'd prefer to come to Thailand for my holidays anyway..

First of all, speaking as an American female, I do let the man pay... For just about everything. When we go to dinner, movies, and vacations. It's not because I'm a gold digger or don't have my own money, it's because that's the old fashioned way, and I'm not a submissive woman who caters to men. They can pursue and court ME until the day I'm married. Now this may be a Thai female you are talking about, but let's clear some things up. Men pay for women. Grow a pair and man up. Personally, there have been times that I've been dating a man who couldn't pay for trips, and because he was genuinely unable, I'd chip in financially, but honey please.... If this woman is coming to see YOU, be a man and get a part time job to pay for half at least. I'm what bizarro world would you expect a woman to pay her own way just to see you? Maybe if you were incapacitated in a hospital... Which you aren't. So get off your lazy bum and earn your share. Poor girl. Why would she date a little boy?

So you mean you are like a modern day prostitute? "Earn my share"? so she can have a fun trip to Europe she's always wanted? You do indeed sound like a prostitute.

Your comments about Western women are absolutely disgusting. You sound like a petulant little boy who is still hanging onto his mama's apron strings. Even your comments about your Thai girlfriend are horrible. I hope she drops your sorry ass and finds a man who treats her better than you do. And i hope she doesn't go to visit you in Europe - because she will certainly not enjoy herself at all.

And who's going to write the sponsor letter for her? I would guess your mama....

Where are you from in Europe? I think i can guess, where young men strut around like they own the world. And English is almost their second language.

He's no' fi' Dundee

[canarysun]

Honestly, a ticket to Europe is the equivalent of a few months' salary for many Thais, and yes, even for ones with "good" office jobs in BKK. I know some very wealthy Thai business people who make trips around Asia, Europe and North America, usually a mixture of business and pleasure. But those people run their own companies (usually more than one). When students go abroad, it is usually on a scholarship or it is backed by the entire extended family unless the family is loaded.

Regular workers like an office worker in her 20s or 30s are still looking at pretty low salaries and just won't have the money. What is she making? Like 15-30 thousand baht a month or so? You would be surprised how low those salaries often are.

Get used to it.

In the " Seedy Soi " where i live nearly all of the Thais earn about 9,000 baht a month. ( not a bad wage for Thailand )

F.J x

[dao16]

Honestly, a ticket to Europe is the equivalent of a few months' salary for many Thais, and yes, even for ones with "good" office jobs in BKK. I know some very wealthy Thai business people who make trips around Asia, Europe and North America, usually a mixture of business and pleasure. But those people run their own companies (usually more than one). When students go abroad, it is usually on a scholarship or it is backed by the entire extended family unless the family is loaded.

Regular workers like an office worker in her 20s or 30s are still looking at pretty low salaries and just won't have the money. What is she making? Like 15-30 thousand baht a month or so? You would be surprised how low those salaries often are.

Get used to it.

In the " Seedy Soi " where i live nearly all of the Thais earn about 9,000 baht a month. ( not a bad wage for Thailand )

F.J x

Yeah, definitely. I was quoting the 15,000 mark as a starter from the several Thais I know who have professional jobs based on degrees in BKK. A person with a university degree working in an admin type position getting 15,000 would have some trouble paying for a ticket to Europe.

Your 9,000 sum makes sense as well. I was being generous to make a point. The OP should consider this fact, though.

[Jaggg88]

I think the OP is looking for some sympathy , anyone know where it can be found?

Yes, the nearest bar girl

[Patsycat]

So, wee boy. How are you, on a student's money, going to take your girl to Europe.

There are men on here that have taken months and years of sadness and lots of love to do it. And very often there are children involved.

Your story, to those people seems silly now.

So, how can you bring this subject up and think that you can do it with a flick of your hand? Grow up. And never go to Fife.

It takes time, visas, etc. Especially to get over that bridge to Fife. Costs lots of money. But then you can show her the best land in the world.

I just read. And Scotland is wonnerful.

Edited January 7, 2015 by Patsycat

[MAJIC]

Oh come on guys, who pays is realistically going to be what kind of a budget someone is on. Everybody here isn't a old codger living with a guaranteed pension every month, a student living on a loan isn't going to be able to pay for everything. The girl has a job, so she can pay also. Who said the trip was for him, are you really going to imply that she wouldn't enjoy a trip to Europe? You gotta be kidding me. My vote says she pays her own way in this situation .

Agree' it doesn't sound like the OP is rolling in money,being a Student so it's time for joint cash on the table!

[fitfalang]

Ok just to make a few things clear:

-I am currently in Thailand but studying in Europe. I already have a job offer over here for a farang company, which I'm starting once I finish my studies.

-We both get about 30k/month,(grant+loan) plus I get a little extra from a part time job but most goes to living expenses in Europe + travel expenses to get to Thailand.

-I dont know why I wrote that she has visited most continents that was rubbish, I meant most countries of the Asian continent. Seeing Europe has been always her dream!

-Everything is already sorted for the visa

Now this problem is already sorted. We cancelled another trip, which was due to take place before her Europe trip, so she can now afford her ticket. She is fine with this now understanding that we earn almost the same but my living expenses are 3x higher in Europe.

Thanks for all the replies. It's nice to filter out a few smart people here on TV who realise that you don't have to pay for sex in Thailand in NORMAL relationships.

[SiamSuzi]

So a woman who expects a man to chip in on the expenses that it's going to cost for them to be able to see eachother is a prostitute in your opinion?!? I can't even continue a discussion with you because you are so clearly too daft to see beyond your own nose. I bet you don't do so well with the ladies, do you? Probably can only get a woman to stomach being around you if you actually do pay a prostitute. The girl isn't asking to be paid to see him, just for him to help with expenses! Duh! That's only fair! Why should she have to pay for everything?!! Gross!

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The OP seems to have gone back to fantasyland so clearly his pikey earnings won't ever stretch to taking a woman to Europe the poor fool

Not all of us are so ugly they need to pay for pussy. It was her who wanted to Europe in the first place, not me inviting her. She's a traveler and that's the only continent she hasn't yet visited. I'd prefer to come to Thailand for my holidays anyway..

First of all, speaking as an American female, I do let the man pay... For just about everything. When we go to dinner, movies, and vacations. It's not because I'm a gold digger or don't have my own money, it's because that's the old fashioned way, and I'm not a submissive woman who caters to men. They can pursue and court ME until the day I'm married. Now this may be a Thai female you are talking about, but let's clear some things up. Men pay for women. Grow a pair and man up. Personally, there have been times that I've been dating a man who couldn't pay for trips, and because he was genuinely unable, I'd chip in financially, but honey please.... If this woman is coming to see YOU, be a man and get a part time job to pay for half at least. I'm what bizarro world would you expect a woman to pay her own way just to see you? Maybe if you were incapacitated in a hospital... Which you aren't. So get off your lazy bum and earn your share. Poor girl. Why would she date a little boy?

So you mean you are like a modern day prostitute? "Earn my share"? so she can have a fun trip to Europe she's always wanted? You do indeed sound like a prostitute.

[SiamSuzi]

So a woman who expects a man to chip in on the expenses that it's going to cost for them to be able to see eachother is a prostitute in your opinion?!? I can't even continue a discussion with you because you are so clearly too daft to see beyond your own nose. I bet you don't do so well with the ladies, do you? Probably can only get a woman to stomach being around you if you actually do pay a prostitute. The girl isn't asking to be paid to see him, just for him to help with expenses! Duh! That's only fair! Why should she have to pay for everything?!! Gross!

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

The OP seems to have gone back to fantasyland so clearly his pikey earnings won't ever stretch to taking a woman to Europe the poor fool

Not all of us are so ugly they need to pay for pussy. It was her who wanted to Europe in the first place, not me inviting her. She's a traveler and that's the only continent she hasn't yet visited. I'd prefer to come to Thailand for my holidays anyway..

First of all, speaking as an American female, I do let the man pay... For just about everything. When we go to dinner, movies, and vacations. It's not because I'm a gold digger or don't have my own money, it's because that's the old fashioned way, and I'm not a submissive woman who caters to men. They can pursue and court ME until the day I'm married. Now this may be a Thai female you are talking about, but let's clear some things up. Men pay for women. Grow a pair and man up. Personally, there have been times that I've been dating a man who couldn't pay for trips, and because he was genuinely unable, I'd chip in financially, but honey please.... If this woman is coming to see YOU, be a man and get a part time job to pay for half at least. I'm what bizarro world would you expect a woman to pay her own way just to see you? Maybe if you were incapacitated in a hospital... Which you aren't. So get off your lazy bum and earn your share. Poor girl. Why would she date a little boy?

So you mean you are like a modern day prostitute? "Earn my share"? so she can have a fun trip to Europe she's always wanted? You do indeed sound like a prostitute.

[fitfalang]

So a woman who expects a man to chip in on the expenses that it's going to cost for them to be able to see eachother is a prostitute in your opinion?!? I can't even continue a discussion with you because you are so clearly too daft to see beyond your own nose. I bet you don't do so well with the ladies, do you? Probably can only get a woman to stomach being around you if you actually do pay a prostitute. The girl isn't asking to be paid to see him, just for him to help with expenses! Duh! That's only fair! Why should she have to pay for everything?!! Gross!

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

The OP seems to have gone back to fantasyland so clearly his pikey earnings won't ever stretch to taking a woman to Europe the poor fool

Not all of us are so ugly they need to pay for pussy. It was her who wanted to Europe in the first place, not me inviting her. She's a traveler and that's the only continent she hasn't yet visited. I'd prefer to come to Thailand for my holidays anyway..

First of all, speaking as an American female, I do let the man pay... For just about everything. When we go to dinner, movies, and vacations. It's not because I'm a gold digger or don't have my own money, it's because that's the old fashioned way, and I'm not a submissive woman who caters to men. They can pursue and court ME until the day I'm married. Now this may be a Thai female you are talking about, but let's clear some things up. Men pay for women. Grow a pair and man up. Personally, there have been times that I've been dating a man who couldn't pay for trips, and because he was genuinely unable, I'd chip in financially, but honey please.... If this woman is coming to see YOU, be a man and get a part time job to pay for half at least. I'm what bizarro world would you expect a woman to pay her own way just to see you? Maybe if you were incapacitated in a hospital... Which you aren't. So get off your lazy bum and earn your share. Poor girl. Why would she date a little boy?

So you mean you are like a modern day prostitute? "Earn my share"? so she can have a fun trip to Europe she's always wanted? You do indeed sound like a prostitute.

No Suzi, I am not saying that.

I am saying that a woman who expects a man to pay for everything in 2015 without chipping in, is a modern day prostitute. With your traditional values, I expect you would be then ready to take care of the kids, clean cook and do laundry too?

If two young people of similar ages decide to go travel together, it's perfectly normal for them to pay for their own expenses, unless the trip is a birthday present or something. Besides, I have already offered to pay for all her expenses once she is there. With your logic, could I expect her to chip in for my expenses when I come to visit her as well?

You are talking about me "earning my share" as if she is coming only to visit to sexually pleasure me, instead of the fact that she wants to travel in Europe. You are talking like if a woman comes to visits a man, its just for the mans pleasure instead of the fun of the trip for both.

This is why i used the word prostitute.

[AYJAYDEE]

No Suzi, I am not saying that.

I am saying that a woman who expects a man to pay for everything in 2015 without chipping in, is a modern day prostitute. With your traditional values, I expect you would be then ready to take care of the kids, clean cook and do laundry too?

If two young people of similar ages decide to go travel together, it's perfectly normal for them to pay for their own expenses, unless the trip is a birthday present or something. Besides, I have already offered to pay for all her expenses once she is there. With your logic, could I expect her to chip in for my expenses when I come to visit her as well?

You are talking about me "earning my share" as if she is coming only to visit to sexually pleasure me, instead of the fact that she wants to travel in Europe. You are talking like if a woman comes to visits a man, its just for the mans pleasure instead of the fun of the trip for both.

This is why i used the word prostitute.

you need a dictionary and a new girlfriend pal

Edited January 8, 2015 by AYJAYDEE

[Water Buffalo]

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. If you can, pay it.

My GF and I share everything 50/50, but i would still pay for a big thing like that. That's what men do.

[ATF]

fitfalang, on 08 Jan 2015 - 11:21, said:fitfalang, on 08 Jan 2015 - 11:21, said:

SiamSuzi, on 08 Jan 2015 - 10:10, said:SiamSuzi, on 08 Jan 2015 - 10:10, said:

So a woman who expects a man to chip in on the expenses that it's going to cost for them to be able to see eachother is a prostitute in your opinion?!? I can't even continue a discussion with you because you are so clearly too daft to see beyond your own nose. I bet you don't do so well with the ladies, do you? Probably can only get a woman to stomach being around you if you actually do pay a prostitute. The girl isn't asking to be paid to see him, just for him to help with expenses! Duh! That's only fair! Why should she have to pay for everything?!! Gross!

fitfalang, on 07 Jan 2015 - 09:35, said:fitfalang, on 07 Jan 2015 - 09:35, said:

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Not all of us are so ugly they need to pay for pussy. It was her who wanted to Europe in the first place, not me inviting her. She's a traveler and that's the only continent she hasn't yet visited. I'd prefer to come to Thailand for my holidays anyway..

SiamSuzi, on 07 Jan 2015 - 03:12, said:SiamSuzi, on 07 Jan 2015 - 03:12, said:

First of all, speaking as an American female, I do let the man pay... For just about everything. When we go to dinner, movies, and vacations. It's not because I'm a gold digger or don't have my own money, it's because that's the old fashioned way, and I'm not a submissive woman who caters to men. They can pursue and court ME until the day I'm married. Now this may be a Thai female you are talking about, but let's clear some things up. Men pay for women. Grow a pair and man up. Personally, there have been times that I've been dating a man who couldn't pay for trips, and because he was genuinely unable, I'd chip in financially, but honey please.... If this woman is coming to see YOU, be a man and get a part time job to pay for half at least. I'm what bizarro world would you expect a woman to pay her own way just to see you? Maybe if you were incapacitated in a hospital... Which you aren't. So get off your lazy bum and earn your share. Poor girl. Why would she date a little boy?

So you mean you are like a modern day prostitute? "Earn my share"? so she can have a fun trip to Europe she's always wanted? You do indeed sound like a prostitute.

No Suzi, I am not saying that.

I am saying that a woman who expects a man to pay for everything in 2015 without chipping in, is a modern day prostitute. With your traditional values, I expect you would be then ready to take care of the kids, clean cook and do laundry too?

If two young people of similar ages decide to go travel together, it's perfectly normal for them to pay for their own expenses, unless the trip is a birthday present or something. Besides, I have already offered to pay for all her expenses once she is there. With your logic, could I expect her to chip in for my expenses when I come to visit her as well?

You are talking about me "earning my share" as if she is coming only to visit to sexually pleasure me, instead of the fact that she wants to travel in Europe. You are talking like if a woman comes to visits a man, its just for the mans pleasure instead of the fun of the trip for both.

This is why i used the word prostitute.

Look Buddy I think you should ask your Mother for advice on this one. Obviously you never had a real Father figure. He would say "Treat her like a Lady".

[hellohello123]

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. If you can, pay it.

My GF and I share everything 50/50, but i would still pay for a big thing like that. That's what men do.

no offense, but how old are you? 50+ I assume?

that sort of mentality is not very common in the younger generation,

women have jobs and education these days, especailly in the western world

[AYJAYDEE]

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. If you can, pay it.

My GF and I share everything 50/50, but i would still pay for a big thing like that. That's what men do.

no offense, but how old are you? 50+ I assume?

that sort of mentality is not very common in the younger generation,

women have jobs and education these days, especailly in the western world

this thread isnt about western women. if he wants 50/50 he should hook up with a western woman.

[hellohello123]

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. If you can, pay it.

My GF and I share everything 50/50, but i would still pay for a big thing like that. That's what men do.

no offense, but how old are you? 50+ I assume?

that sort of mentality is not very common in the younger generation,

women have jobs and education these days, especailly in the western world

this thread isnt about western women. if he wants 50/50 he should hook up with a western woman.

well true good point. I wonder if he uses the same mentality back home? I doubt it though

[AYJAYDEE]

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. If you can, pay it.

My GF and I share everything 50/50, but i would still pay for a big thing like that. That's what men do.

no offense, but how old are you? 50+ I assume?

that sort of mentality is not very common in the younger generation,

women have jobs and education these days, especailly in the western world

this thread isnt about western women. if he wants 50/50 he should hook up with a western woman.

well true good point. I wonder if he uses the same mentality back home? I doubt it though

and by the same token, i hav yet to see one of these 50/50 hotshots doing 50% of the work around the home.

[transam]

[tropo]

Thanks for all the replies. It's nice to filter out a few smart people here on TV who realise that you don't have to pay for sex in Thailand in NORMAL relationships.

What is a normal relationship? Is there any such thing? If you're living in Thailand in a few decades from now when your girl is looking a little worse for wear (and you're no longer as handsome), your perspective will have changed.

[tropo]

No Suzi, I am not saying that.

I am saying that a woman who expects a man to pay for everything in 2015 without chipping in, is a modern day prostitute. With your traditional values, I expect you would be then ready to take care of the kids, clean cook and do laundry too?

You have an extremely narrow view of the world mate... and only from the perspective of some Western countries. The "traditional way" (man paying for everything) is alive and well all over the world even in 2015. It's that way in Thailand too. I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet.

[glegolo]

fitfalang

Posted 2015-01-06 13:08:33

My girlfriend has been planning a trip to Europe with me for a while. She was under some impression that I was going to pay for her flight for some reason, to which I told her that she can pay it herself. Now she is mad and telling me she's not coming then.

I am by no means wealthy, just a student living on a student loan. She has a good office job by Thai standards and earns roughly the same amount as me (loan vs her salary). We are around the same age, she is a little older than me.

It's not only the fact that I'm actually not able to pay for her flight, but the principle that I don't want a girlfriend that needs my financial support. I'm pretty strict with this as reading TV for years has taught me to always be careful with Thai girls who ask for your money.

Normally we split everything 50/50 though, she is normally not of the type who expects for the man to pay for everything.

What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think you having so little to offer,, are trying to play in the completely wrong division. You are championship-material trying to sneak in on premiere-leque-turf......

Get little bit older, get an income to speak about, and than start to play!!!!

Glegolo

[FrankOff]

"unreasonable"?........ "you pay everything"....if you think she is miffed now wait until you refuse to replace the family cow!!...please don't tell me you have already bought land and house.