Stephen Fry fried in the media for marrying much younger man ... fair or not?

[Jingthing]

I figure this topic is of interest to some western gays in Thailand -- big age differences in gay relationships.

Media Obsesses Over Age Difference Between Stephen Fry and New Fiance

The 57-year-old actor confirmed the happy news of his upcoming nuptials on Twitter, and the media is focusing on the fact that Fry's partner is 30 years his junior.

http://www.advocate.com/politics/media/2015/01/06/media-obsesses-over-age-difference-between-stephen-fry-and-new-fiance

I can definitely see the attraction, both ways, but different kinds of attraction:

Now of course straight men are mocked as well for marrying much younger women but just as often they are admired and envied for being able to attract them usually with their money and/or status.

It's not exactly big news, now and throughout history, that men with wealth, fame, and status will often choose and "land" younger more sexually attractive mates.

It seems to me this case of Stephen Fry, 57, marrying Elliot Spencer who is 27 (not exactly 18 is he?) is attracting exaggerated criticism that is related to the gay aspect and thus rather unfair.

Judge for yourself. Apparently the world is doing that anyway, and harshly.

From my POV, I greatly admire Stephen Fry and while I never heard of his new husband before, he gives the look of intelligence so I'm guessing they probably do have something to talk about outside the bedroom.

____

Please note: After a voluntary absence, I have been "invited" back to the Thaivisa gay forum. If you happen to have anything to say about that, please do so by PM, not on the open forum. Not that I am seeking comments, just would prefer that they're private if any. Thank you.

Edited January 6, 2015 by Jingthing

[krisb]

Looks like they have their overnight bags packed there!

To me it looks like his son. He looks younger than 27, and he looks older than 57.

What makes you think that because he's gay it attracts special criticism??

[robertthebruce]

If they bring each other happiness, go for it...

It's there lives, they can do what they like.

I am happy for them..

All the best

[ignis]

Believe it was Michael Douglas said

"Age ain't nothing but a number!"

guess if they had been a couple 47 and 77 no-one what have batted an eye, not that 27 is that young anyway...

​all the best to them both and hope they make a go of it for many years to come, unlike some the the straights in large age differences there will not be kids

Edited January 7, 2015 by ignis

[SoiBiker]

Believe it was Michael Douglas said

"Age ain't nothing but a number!"

guess if they had been a couple 47 and 77 no-one what have batted an eye, not that 27 is that young anyway...]

​all the best to them both and hope they make a go of it for many years to come, unlike some the the straights in large age differences there will not be kids

Gay people start families too you know.

[Jingthing]

Looks like they have their overnight bags packed there!

To me it looks like his son. He looks younger than 27, and he looks older than 57.

What makes you think that because he's gay it attracts special criticism??

It is my impression that with gay couples like this the older man is called dirty names like "pedophile" more often than when the younger partner is a woman. Even more so of course when the age of the younger man is really just so called barely legal. But in this case it's pretty outrageous to call Fry a pedo -- 27, please.

http://www.advocate.com/politics/media/2015/01/06/media-obsesses-over-age-difference-between-stephen-fry-and-new-fiance

Comments on this post were overwhelmingly negative, with commenters noting that Fry looked like a “grandfather,” a “pedophile,” a “dirty old man,” and a “pervert.”

Many reactions on Twitter were also critical.

Edited January 7, 2015 by Jingthing

[ignis]

Believe it was Michael Douglas said

"Age ain't nothing but a number!"

guess if they had been a couple 47 and 77 no-one what have batted an eye, not that 27 is that young anyway...]

​all the best to them both and hope they make a go of it for many years to come, unlike some the the straights in large age differences there will not be kids

Gay people start families too you know.

Yes Sir Elton John and David have 2 young sons..

[Jingthing]

Gay married couples having kids or not isn't really the point of this thread. Lots of straight couples don't have kids and/or want kids.

[Thaddeus]

Being an avid follower of QI over the last decade and a bit, and all the other stuff that Mr Fry has done, I know he is an intelligent, witty and charming man on TV and has the air of someone like that in real life. I expect that he is very good company at all times.

Good luck to them, age ain't nothing but a number.

[KED]

love comes in many forms. some people only look for physical attration while others only look for financial secuirty - age is important to some while not to others - live and let live - consenting adults have the right to choose for themselves - best of luck to all in pursuits of romance, love and companionship.

[Jingthing]

More on the happy couple:

Judging couples based on their degree of similarity is never cute. In recent history, couples have been challenged for having too little or too much in common—attitudes now, correctly, seen as shameful. Given the sad, painful history of gay men unjustly being accused of pederasty and of “recruiting” youngsters into the lifestyle, it’s tough to take the smug, snide “jokes” about the couple’s age gap with the lightness with which they were no doubt intended.

It would be better if we could just settle on this sentiment, in this and future cases: Stephen Fry pulled a handsome young man, and Elliott Spencer snagged a successful, erudite partner. Mazel tov, fellas!

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2015/01/06/stephen_fry_and_elliott_spencer_s_engagement_raises_the_age_gap_romance.html?wpisrc=obinsite

OK, there's generally agreement here not to judge these guys, but the media snark fest continues.

Edited January 8, 2015 by Jingthing

[krisb]

More on the happy couple:

Judging couples based on their degree of similarity is never cute. In recent history, couples have been challenged for having too little or too much in common—attitudes now, correctly, seen as shameful. Given the sad, painful history of gay men unjustly being accused of pederasty and of “recruiting” youngsters into the lifestyle, it’s tough to take the smug, snide “jokes” about the couple’s age gap with the lightness with which they were no doubt intended.

It would be better if we could just settle on this sentiment, in this and future cases: Stephen Fry pulled a handsome young man, and Elliott Spencer snagged a successful, erudite partner. Mazel tov, fellas!

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2015/01/06/stephen_fry_and_elliott_spencer_s_engagement_raises_the_age_gap_romance.html?wpisrc=obinsite

OK, there's generally agreement here not to judge these guys, but the media snark fest continues.

Yeah that's the media for you, all systems normal.

So...the struggle continues?

[ExPratt]

Don't care, its their own business

[Roadman]

Looks like they have their overnight bags packed there!

To me it looks like his son. He looks younger than 27, and he looks older than 57.

What makes you think that because he's gay it attracts special criticism??

It is my impression that with gay couples like this the older man is called dirty names like "pedophile" more often than when the younger partner is a woman. Even more so of course when the age of the younger man is really just so called barely legal. But in this case it's pretty outrageous to call Fry a pedo -- 27, please.

http://www.advocate.com/politics/media/2015/01/06/media-obsesses-over-age-difference-between-stephen-fry-and-new-fiance

Comments on this post were overwhelmingly negative, with commenters noting that Fry looked like a grandfather, a pedophile, a dirty old man, and a pervert.
Many reactions on Twitter were also critical.

[/quote

Your impression may perhaps be swayed somewhat by the freedom of the sexual environment that prevails in Thailand JT, apart from I guess educated thai women with Falangs who cop disdain from the old school older thai males. Here in NZ Fry got off rather light compared to the constant social media barrage that is afforded to older Kiwi guys with young Asian wives. In my shoes happy to see other partnership types sharing the varying prejudice load. Would be more than happy to see the older western guys with the western young bimbos cop it more but that seems acceptable to western society. Prejudices and double standards prevail everywhere...one does not need to be gay.

Edited January 13, 2015 by Scott