Thai wife has moved out.

[Lupatria]

My advice: grow up!

[Straight8]

It's too bad that Mom got in the way again, break free from her ( your Mom that is ), or Som nom naa rules apply..

and having said that, I wish you the best..a lot of us have good Thai women, but we have still ALL felt the lash, and it always stings..

learn from any errors in this relationship..learn well.

Yes very true. Lessons have been learned and I won't be making a similar mistake again!

She had a chance of moving out 18 months ago. We looked at apartments here in this part of the UK, the costs were too high with bills as well. Instead she carried on saving her money and blew £5000 on her parents house and farm, when we got back from the holiday, she had no money left...

Another case of what's hers is hers, what's your is her's and partially yours.

Reverse these roles, and you'll never have an issue with your thai wife/partner.

[JohnnyHK]

I don't think that his wife will have any problems getting picked by another man. Move on with your life and consider it a lesson learned, cheaper than a lot of people I know.

[ttthailand]

The OP needs to find a job and work on his other options when time permits, that's for sure !

I don't however agree with most of these posts that put 100 percent of the responsibility on the farang for all support. Marriage is two people pulling together not one dragging the other. She should pitch in and help when needed. If I had a wife or gf who only was with me for money she would be gone in a minute. In reality the OP is lucky to find out her true colors early. I had a cash flow problem once and didn't want to start cashing in my investments to solve a short term problem. My Gf at the time was upset because she wanted a new iPhone for her B-day. I told her it had to wait but she gave me the silent treatment. Needless to say that money hungry little bitch is gone.... Two months later cash flow problem resolved and money not a problem and investments not touched. Everyone can experience a bump in the road sometime. Some of these girls want it all Now Now Now .... But are not willing to do their share.

OP... find a job that pays the bills and work part time on your blog and other internet interests. Count you blessings that your wife is gone, one less weight to drag around. Good luck !

[Swiss1960]

The OP needs to find a job and work on his other options when time permits, that's for sure !

I don't however agree with most of these posts that put 100 percent of the responsibility on the farang for all support. Marriage is two people pulling together not one dragging the other. She should pitch in and help when needed. If I had a wife or gf who only was with me for money she would be gone in a minute. In reality the OP is lucky to find out her true colors early. I had a cash flow problem once and didn't want to start cashing in my investments to solve a short term problem. My Gf at the time was upset because she wanted a new iPhone for her B-day. I told her it had to wait but she gave me the silent treatment. Needless to say that money hungry little bitch is gone.... Two months later cash flow problem resolved and money not a problem and investments not touched. Everyone can experience a bump in the road sometime. Some of these girls want it all Now Now Now .... But are not willing to do their share.

OP... find a job that pays the bills and work part time on your blog and other internet interests. Count you blessings that your wife is gone, one less weight to drag around. Good luck !

If you would read before posting... the OP wrote "She got her 2 year FLR extension in May last year and carried on working as a cook at her job in a bistro restaurant after our holiday."

So his WIFE is the one earning money and the problem is the MOTHER and her 46y-old baby son... NOT the money..

[ttthailand]

The OP needs to find a job and work on his other options when time permits, that's for sure !

I don't however agree with most of these posts that put 100 percent of the responsibility on the farang for all support. Marriage is two people pulling together not one dragging the other. She should pitch in and help when needed. If I had a wife or gf who only was with me for money she would be gone in a minute. In reality the OP is lucky to find out her true colors early. I had a cash flow problem once and didn't want to start cashing in my investments to solve a short term problem. My Gf at the time was upset because she wanted a new iPhone for her B-day. I told her it had to wait but she gave me the silent treatment. Needless to say that money hungry little bitch is gone.... Two months later cash flow problem resolved and money not a problem and investments not touched. Everyone can experience a bump in the road sometime. Some of these girls want it all Now Now Now .... But are not willing to do their share.

OP... find a job that pays the bills and work part time on your blog and other internet interests. Count you blessings that your wife is gone, one less weight to drag around. Good luck !

If you would read before posting... the OP wrote "She got her 2 year FLR extension in May last year and carried on working as a cook at her job in a bistro restaurant after our holiday."

So his WIFE is the one earning money and the problem is the MOTHER and her 46y-old baby son... NOT the money..

And if your read correctly she spent all of the money she earned on her family. I not see her as pitching in ! She also is the one who did not want to fly alone so he had to leave his job which he later lost due to her ....

Edited March 11, 2015 by ttthailand

[Straight8]

If you come to Thailand don't make the mistake to live with her parents ;-)

Or anywhere within 1,000km from her parents.

[Straight8]

did anyone check out his site ?

http://thetravellingphase.com/about-me/

scroll down a bit and you will see his wife, still call it his wife ... she looks nice

might be that she found a new rich man in that restaurant where she works ...

She is very nice and not many like her around, however they are all nice, at first. You don't really know what anyone is like until you have lived with them, nice can end up being a nightmare whatever your circumstances. Sadly it's impossible to make some women happy, if you gave some of them the hope diamond they would complain about how heavy it was!

yes, there are those who never get enough... BUT BUT BUT...

here we have a mommy boy who NEVER stood up against the mother when she criticized his wife... there is the mommy boy who does not work and dreams about a carreer... there is mommy boy who let's his wife leave without going after her, calling her... and thinks that a LINE message should make her run back... there is mommy boy who does not intervene when mamma changes the locks to the house and does NOTHING to better his situation in order to save his marriage...

so SHE is much better off without him!!!

Yeah right.. and I bet the OP's wife was lilly white in all this. It takes two to tango and I would bet my bottom baht the wife is more to blame in this midday drama.

The fact is, the OP was just a means to an end, and even moving out in their own place was not going to save this marriage.

She worked, fixed the parents home as always intended, probably gave them just as much in baht as well, while I bet had she had no intention to contribute to paying bills, rent etc in the UK with the OP, and now she just wants out. He is an ATM runnning dry and is now after the next sucker.

It's as simple as that, but hey I could always be wrong!!

[lucifer666]

Sorry folks, had to add to the original OP

Yes, my Thai wife makes "stinky" food also. ( Are you stupid), This is the PERFECT time that we Farangs can go to the bar, until the smell clears, Mai Pen Rai

[CapeThai]

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An update. She is not allowed back in to my parents house as their are really upset that she did even say goodbye to them. The front door locks have been changed today because did not give the front door key back.

I did send her a message this morning on Line to meet up for lunch, she read the message and has not replied. I have had enough of her now with this behavior and may consider informing the Home Office about her current situation as she is legally not allowed to stay in the UK any longer.

All she has to do to secure her stay in the UK is to mention the words "abuse and threats" evidenced by changed door locks!

Much free legal advise is available to to abused and mistreated women who are locked out of their homes.

Bet she will have fun taking you to the cleaners !

He has nothing to take...

[Schillaci]

I do feel sorry for you OP and hope things work out. My Mrs and I did it tough when settling back in the west too. We both had second jobs. I was cleaning cinemas and she did home delivery jobs to make ends meet. Been there done that.

It shouldnt be a case of her money or your money. You're married. Spending so much money on a bouse in isaan when you're short of a quid is madness. In a normal balanced relationship you would sit down, work out where the money is going and make compromises if need be. If she isnt willing to do that then shes in it for herself and it's never going to work.

[roath]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

An update. She is not allowed back in to my parents house as their are really upset that she did even say goodbye to them. The front door locks have been changed today because did not give the front door key back.

I did send her a message this morning on Line to meet up for lunch, she read the message and has not replied. I have had enough of her now with this behavior and may consider informing the Home Office about her current situation as she is legally not allowed to stay in the UK any longer.

All she has to do to secure her stay in the UK is to mention the words "abuse and threats" evidenced by changed door locks!

Much free legal advise is available to to abused and mistreated women who are locked out of their homes.

Bet she will have fun taking you to the cleaners !

That isnt correct mate. you need a lot more than that including police report etc

after she says "he slapped me around" its all over for him, she has him by the short hairs & is about to jump to the first floor. police report ? have you been under a rock the last few years? momma should of locked him out also, :-)

Actually mate, the last couple of years I was practising law including dealing with DV cases involving immigration issues. So I suspect my knowledge of the law is a little better than other rock dwellers...

[Vallon66]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

An update. She is not allowed back in to my parents house as their are really upset that she did even say goodbye to them. The front door locks have been changed today because did not give the front door key back.

I did send her a message this morning on Line to meet up for lunch, she read the message and has not replied. I have had enough of her now with this behavior and may consider informing the Home Office about her current situation as she is legally not allowed to stay in the UK any longer.

All she has to do to secure her stay in the UK is to mention the words "abuse and threats" evidenced by changed door locks!

Much free legal advise is available to to abused and mistreated women who are locked out of their homes.

Bet she will have fun taking you to the cleaners !

It's not her home, it's my parents house. She has moved all of her things out of the house and she has not given a forwarding address. She can take me to the cleaners if she wishes, but she will receive nothing as I have nothing som nam na

[lucky11]

Tough situation .Yes.

Biggest problem mate. YOUR MOTHER.

You are married to your wife, time for your mother but out ,shut up.

How many maraiges have been f....d up, because of interfering mothers? i will tell you too many!!

Don't forget. it is his mother's house so telling her to shut up does seem a bit rash!!

[roath]

I do feel sorry for you OP and hope things work out. My Mrs and I did it tough when settling back in the west too. We both had second jobs. I was cleaning cinemas and she did home delivery jobs to make ends meet. Been there done that.

It shouldnt be a case of her money or your money. You're married. Spending so much money on a bouse in isaan when you're short of a quid is madness. In a normal balanced relationship you would sit down, work out where the money is going and make compromises if need be. If she isnt willing to do that then shes in it for herself and it's never going to work.

Maybe she ia making the most of her time in the UK by sending money home on the basis that that is where she sees her future i.e. not in the UK. Read into that what you will

[NoshowJones]

What does FLR stand for?

[dragonfly94]

further leave to remain i fink

[NoshowJones]

You take the time to write such a long OP, but do not have the time to write the words for FLR.

[Vallon66]

Thai women can be a huge pain.. No doubt. BUT....

let's see. You took your wife to your home country where she was out of her element,you had no job, no place to live and no money...So you shacked up and sponged off mommy and daddy.. Well ok if you're under 22 yrs. old that's barely tolerable.

Your parents or at least your ,mother whined about the smell of her cooking , .And if she complained about that it's certain your mother complained about ALOT more Which I am sure made your wife lose face, be embarassed and feel extremey unwelcome.. GOOD JOB Mom!And you never said a word because like you said, ''it;s not my house''.What a protective husband. So she left you and your mommy. What woman would'nt.

. And then you BRAG about how she can sue you if she wants because you have nothing. Well see here's the thing ,,since you don't have a pot to urinate in in or a window to throw it out of you have no business assuming the role of a husband. MEN get married children and mommas boys sponge off thier parents.

Then you claim how you are '' bettering yourself''.with blogs... What a joke, How about trying to grow some guts get a job and support your wife instead of mama lay your jammies out at night.Grow up.

. Thank GOD you have no children who knows how you'd handle that.

She's a very pretty girl..Looks like a decent one as well..

Bottom line was your woman was looking for a man she could look up to and respect and got a childish mommas boy instead. No wonder she left you.

Like to see her sue you...oh wait that's right, your broke..

[Vallon66]

Tough situation .Yes.

Biggest problem mate. YOUR MOTHER.

You are married to your wife, time for your mother but out ,shut up.

How many maraiges have been f....d up, because of interfering mothers?

I agree but if he had been a man to begin with , the mother would'nt have been an issue if he had been self reliant , mature, would've had some self respect and had his OWN HOME to take his wife to.Instead being a loser.

Edited March 11, 2015 by Vallon66

[bigguy]

After reading on and on, you seem to get more bitter and act like a spoiled Mama's Boy. Which it appears from reading all this crap you are a Mama's Boy, and a Dreamer, not a man that stands up for his wife, and sits at mum's house on the computer all day thinking your going to strick it rich. I don't blame your wife at all, i would have walked out on your arse long ago..

As they say, "MAN UP",,, if you love her, which appears from your writings you don't, get any job you can find,, swallow your pride, if you have any, and show her your trying.

[Vallon66]

After reading on and on, you seem to get more bitter and act like a spoiled Mama's Boy. Which it appears from reading all this crap you are a Mama's Boy, and a Dreamer, not a man that stands up for his wife, and sits at mum's house on the computer all day thinking your going to strick it rich. I don't blame your wife at all, i would have walked out on your arse long ago..

As they say, "MAN UP",,, if you love her, which appears from your writings you don't, get any job you can find,, swallow your pride, if you have any, and show her your trying.

bigguy EXACTLY RIGHT! I could'nt agree more.. His whining is annoying, even more so than his excuses. She did what any woman would do,.

[Vallon66]

Tough situation .Yes.

Biggest problem mate. YOUR MOTHER.

You are married to your wife, time for your mother but out ,shut up.

How many maraiges have been f....d up, because of interfering mothers? i will tell you too many!!

Don't forget. it is his mother's house so telling her to shut up does seem a bit rash!!

Well he sholud'nt have dragged her there TO BEGIN WITH.!!!!

[Vallon66]

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An update. She is not allowed back in to my parents house as their are really upset that she did even say goodbye to them. The front door locks have been changed today because did not give the front door key back.

I did send her a message this morning on Line to meet up for lunch, she read the message and has not replied. I have had enough of her now with this behavior and may consider informing the Home Office about her current situation as she is legally not allowed to stay in the UK any longer.

All she has to do to secure her stay in the UK is to mention the words "abuse and threats" evidenced by changed door locks!

Much free legal advise is available to to abused and mistreated women who are locked out of their homes.

Bet she will have fun taking you to the cleaners !

It's not her home, it's my parents house. She has moved all of her things out of the house and she has not given a forwarding address. She can take me to the cleaners if she wishes, but she will receive nothing as I have nothing som nam na

Wow! What a mature answer esp. for a twelve year old. Espesially the sticking your tongue out caption.

Really just validares your childish and infantile personality . And mate braggging about being destitute is nothing to be proud of. But if you're feeling down I'm sure your mom will make you a nice glass of hot cocoa.Run along now.

Edited March 11, 2015 by Vallon66

[bluebluewater]

You are 46 and you are living at home with your mother??

That pretty much answers everything for me.

Cheers!

[BKKSnowBird]

This is a tough crowd.

[mango66]

looks likes a MAMA looser ?

He is only 46 !

and he starts to learn and thinking !

With this age 50 ! you have done your live !!

with over 50 - you will not make big steps any more;

On your story - you sitting in home with Mama and computer !!

You have your wife !!

[elgordo38]

Tough situation .Yes.

Biggest problem mate. YOUR MOTHER.

You are married to your wife, time for your mother but out ,shut up.

How many maraiges have been f....d up, because of interfering mothers? i will tell you too many!!

How can you tell your mother to butt out when your living in her house. This boy cannot afford a wife much less afford himself. Sounds like a bit of a dreamer to me. Have your cake and eat it type.

[Tony125]

I don't know if the UK has similar rules but to bring a wife over to USA we have to sign an afffadit of support saying that the hiusband is resonsible for his wife's support for 2 years---she doesn't have to work. She could claim trafficing as she was working, paying rent and he has no visable means of suport. She definately could stay claiming fraud as he did not support her and was locked out from the house. She could even use the comments made on this site to prove that the mother locked her out of house and fought with her about cooking ect.

You don't seem able to provide for a wife and your blog ,( I sometimes do for Tripadvisor and I am in the top 15% of read blogs ) is not providing you with income to support yourself. Thats why your living at home to be taken care of by your parents (at 46yo ?) She will move on and be fine but you yourself said "she can't take anything because I don't have anything! " Thats a sorry state of affairs for a 46 yo guy, what girl , Brit or Thai would want to be with a guy who has nothing and she would have to work to support while at this stage of his life is still trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life and how to make money.

[Docno]

Phone your wife - don't use Line. Tell her that you feel bad about the situation and want to make it better. Tell her how important she is in your life. Apologise for anything you truly believe you could have handled better. Then suggest a meeting again. When you meet, let her do the talking... you ask the questions. Ask her, example, what she wants for you as a couple. Listen. Listen carefully. Then you're into negotiations...

I highly recommend the book, Getting to Yes, by two Harvard psychologists, Ury and Fisher. You don't have time to read the whole thing, so here's a summary: http://www.wikisummaries.org/Getting_to_Yes. At least look at it to get yourself in the right mindset - not to do battle, but to find a resolution that works for you and your wife.

Good luck.