Am I Just very Lucky or am I being set up ?

[Daniel Ingalls]

My advice is:..............keep your money separate from hers. Keep an eye on expenditures at stores,

Malls, markets. Pay half on everything. Full on what you use or consume......see how far this goes.

[louse1953]

Strikes me she's already spending his money. Has she not bought a car and rented a condo with the proviso that he is already paying half for both ?

A bit presumptious IMO. I smell a rat.

Me too, a big ba $ tard.

She bought a car with half his money? He's not there so it's in her name. He's already been dudded, and he may arrive to find he's already been ditched by her.

Instead of cynicism clouding your judgement before you put your "brain"into gear you would know that she put a downpayment on a car that he likes with her money,without his knowledge.Can put the car in his name after it is paid off.

[louse1953]

Sounds like she is setting the stage for the future draining of his wealth, ...... they are masters at worshipping the ground you walk on until they get their hands on your wallet, ...no joint bank account, ..do not buy anything together, ...only buy a condo if own a place to live and make sure it is only in your name. Protect yourself first, last and always.

I was the same, ...moderate savings, ..... ended up with nothing and alone. ... she was so respectful and caring at first, but as soon as the money was gone, .... Dr, Jeckle became Mr. Hyde!

Well mate,sorry to say,you never had enough money to start with and did not live within your means.The one word farangs have to learn is no.

[Starre]

Unfortunately all we can do on TV without knowing all the day to day details of how they are with each other, is generalize based on our experiences with Thai women.

I would say though, if this is your friend's first go around with a TG, he might not have had experience enough to know what to look for that will give away whether she's playing the long game or not. I would assume a lot of guys here on TV have been burnt before and know how to proceed when they're up to bat again. In your friend's case, I come down on the side of if it's too good to true, it usually is and I wouldn't be ordering the wedding invitations and getting myself into hock just yet. The long term, no problem, worship the ground marriages that are mentioned here are the exception not the rule IMHO - for every one that lives happily every after, 1000 get put through the ringer.

[kungpao]

He just needs to talk to her. Explain how he feels and ask her about what she feels. Get an interpreter if needed. Please don't ask here and take comments verbatim. It's between them to talk. Not them and the strangers here. Be direct and tell her if you feel uncomfortable with how fast she is moving and they things she is buying.

[KonaRain]

Sounds good .

Asian women in Hawaii, where I am,

Don't do such extraordinary things,

to make this union work,

Sounds good to me.

As stated, he'll know his financial barriers.

Sounds like a good woman..

Aloha, and good luck.

[spiritrace]

My Thai wife is very similar. It is called sharing the load. With the information given she sounds like a good woman.

[SOTIRIOS]

...he won't know what hit him......

...by then it will be too late....

[JohnnyJazz]

As long as your friend understand he is renting, not buying anything, it's ok. In a way it's better to pay off one's girlfriend's mortgage than the mortgage of a total stranger.

But he should not include the property as part as his retirement savings. As soon as he breaks up with the girlfriend, the property is gone. As long as it is well understood, I see no problem with the situation.

The only warning you friend should get is he must realize he is going out with a smart girl. Better remember that when will be tempted to cheat on her ;-)

Edited March 18, 2015 by JohnnyJazz

[Tony125]

My Thai wife is very similar. It is called sharing the load. With the information given she sounds like a good woman.

I second that statement ,my wife is the same sharing and loving. Family and I get along great. Seems like the girl is a good catch.

One question I have---if he's not as you say rich then how is he supporting himself staying over here for 6 months without working? At 45 years old he would not be retired unless he is rich and say owns his own company.

[Johnny S]

When the lease of condo run out she will ask him if they should buy a house - in her name of course since he cant own land .....

[DekWatGrant]

It seems to me that this woman truly cares about him. It's hard to know for sure without knowing her personally, but nice traditional Thai girls/women will, in fact, do everything they can to take care of their man and make them comfortable.

The only thing he would be missing out on, if things don't work out, are the car payments and half rents that he pays into. (And of course his time spent with her)

I think that he may just be influenced by what he's been reading, and getting a bit worried.

If he hadn't any questions about the strength of his relationship before, he shouldn't worry about it now just because of a few articles that he read online.

The fact of the matter is, Thailand has many women that try to lie, cheat, and steal their way into plush lives. That being said, all countries have these same women, and there is just enough risk for this almost anywhere you go.

The difference is, the calibre of men that come to Thailand, in majority, aren't the best, brightest and smartest of the lot. A lot of them meet girls in bars, have a drinking or drug problem, or are old men seeking very young girls relative to their age, and have not so squeaky clean pasts. These men, a lot of times, are the ones that get taken for a ride.

If your friend is a good, genuine person and has common sense, he should be fine. If he trusts his gut instincts, there shouldn't be a problem.

Now if there comes a time when he starts to feel that things aren't adding up, that's when he should consider a swift exodus, but so far she seems to be in it 100% and is only trying to make things work for them.

Hope this helps, and good luck to your friend!

[neeray]

She sounds like the 'real deal' but a bit presumptuous (doing things without consulting him first). But her intentions are probably sincere and geared to securing a future with him (and for herself).

Obviously, she does plan to rule the roost. Still, depending on his personality, that may be okay.

Best wishes to them for a real romance.

And I agree with a few others, there are some very good Thai women.

[northernphil]

Best to tread carefully and find your own way. Don't get too much advice from TV. Those that have been scammed by Thai ladies will say keep away ,those that have fared better like me will say go tor it but beware of " My buffalo him sick " " My koi carb dead , need 10,000B for new one ,I lub you big 'ansum man "

[Africanteacher]

i am his friend. I just turned 72, but i look 30!!! I take vitamins and walk every day!!! I listen to hip-hop music and can stay up to 8:30 p.m. some nights!!! But I am up at 4, drinking warm milk.

What a win! Play on, playa!

[Africanteacher]

i am his friend. I just turned 72, but i look 30!!! I take vitamins and walk every day!!! I listen to hip-hop music and can stay up to 8:30 p.m. some nights!!! But I am up at 4, drinking warm milk.

Brilliant! Play on, playa!

[CapeThai]

Their currently working to improve their communication skills and he's apparently going the study Thai and she English....

How can anyone possibly be in love with someone they can't satisfactorily communicate with ?

How can you even begin to think you are compatible when you cannot even discuss issues of importance ?

It's pathetic, your friend needs to move on and get a life.

He does have a full and great life. You on the other hand just gave the word pathetic a whole new meaning with your shitty comments. You should look into the mirror then you will see pathetic

[CapeThai]

All you cynical members STOP.

Not all Thai ladies marry farangs only for money.

I know i am married to one.

We share all expenses 50/50 she never asks for money. She has my cards pin numbers, due to my accident i cannot get to any ATM.

She always gives me ATM receipt.

Also after we first met, stayed together for 4 months ,i went back to UK, to work for 9 months.

Came back to Thailand to find our new home more than 70% complete (total shock) i was not aware it had been started.

Up to this point i was not asked for 1 baht, but was told now it is up to you to pay to finish our home.

Thank you for your input on this.

[Si Thea01]

Tell your friend to register on TV best thing he can do.

Then post a pic of the girl and her phone number so we can help out.

You're a very naughty boy.

[wandasloan]

Question is, whether it is fake or genuine love from her.

No one can answer this, only himself.

General question about Thai women from one man perspective doesn't make any sense or very little ...

Every one is unique, comes from different background, has different values, experience and million other things.

My advice. Forget about instructions and manuals ...

Good luck.

Excellent. I would only add that he won't "get drained of his money". That, too, like everything else - as you point out well - is up to him. It's his money, and he will decide what to do with it.

[thesetat2013]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

The condo and car is in her name and she's not asking him to share any of the down payments that came out of her pocket ( 175000 baht ) in total I think. All she ask of him is to pay the installments on the car as it is actually his and half of the rent on the condo.

I have been reading all that you wrote about this girl...... a couple of things to note.....

if she got a condo and a car then they are in her name.... She would need his passport to put them into his name..... So he does not own the car or the condo and she can do as she pleases after he has flipped the bill....

The idea that the family does not want sin sod is good.... this shows the family is not pushing her to marry him for money..... However, even though this was the case with my Thai family when i married i still had to show sin sid for the wedding ceremony with which was placed quietly under my bed after the wedding.....

All in all I would say he has found a good woman.... Only time will tell for sure but he should never let his heart empty his wallet.... The simple fact that she bought all this without discussing it with him in advance has me thinking this is how his future will be.... Her buying things she thinks is good without talking about it before hand and agreeing to it... This should be addressed seriously before he considers a life with her.....He should clarify what exactly taking care of family means to her and to her parents also..... If it means sending them 20,000 baht a month to live then he will be poor to raise his own family with her..... If it means helping when needed and helping for medical then this is different and he can plan for those things.....

i have met some women who had foreigners for 6-9 years and left them because they would not send or give more money to help the family live the high-so life they were getting used to.... they just wanted him to send more money....

Her family is going to be an incredible influence to all she does in the future... So he needs to make things clear what he is willing and unwilling to do and she needs to agree.... He should also judge her feelings to doing things that maybe her family is against..... just in case a situation comes up (which probably will) that they dont understand or agree to and that he will have a problem from...

You can PM me if you like for more if you like.... My situation with the woman and the family is about the same as his..

[CapeThai]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

The condo and car is in her name and she's not asking him to share any of the down payments that came out of her pocket ( 175000 baht ) in total I think. All she ask of him is to pay the installments on the car as it is actually his and half of the rent on the condo.

How is the car 'his' if it is in her name?

On the surface of it, everything looks good.

What I may worry about is if he arrives here and she presents him with a request to pay back a chunk of her expenditures.

He actually has nothing in his name, she has all receipts and he is very vulnerable. A simple difference of opinion and he could be out on his ear... she will have set herself up quite nicely.

I hope everything works out for him, but perhaps a brake on the spending so that they can 'do it together' would be an idea.

Well, he asked her on Friday how much he must transfer for his part in the car and condo but she refused to accept any money from him towards the deposit on the car and condo.... Says it would be nice if he can only pay half the condo rent and the car installment

Knowing him, I thing the man feels a bit bad about her spending so much money as he's not the type of person to take advantage of people's generosity.

[manarak]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

She's been living with her family until now. That usually means they have lots of influence on her. She'll probably listen to them more than she'll listen to her new husband.

I'd take a close look at her family to predict any problems. What her family does is more important than what they say.

He mentioned she paid 3 months in advance for the condo out of her own pocket and paid the down payment of 130000 baht on the car out of her pocket and is not asking this money back.... This is one of the reasons the man is slightly worried about the whole thing.

Good points in the above posts.

My opinion about this is that it's all good - I would be worried about "crazy love", i.e. if the woman has issues with excessive enthousiasm about the relationship, excessive sentimentality. Sweet at first, she might very well turn out to be a possessive, paranoid, jealous nutjob. I say "might".

OP's friend should consider this risk and plan an escape route to be able to run and disappear completely if she turns out to be a nutjob.

The basics are keeping his money and his passport out of her reach.

Edited March 18, 2015 by manarak

[windas]

If I'm correct, when they marry, her debt will become his debt. The more debt she incurrs, etc etc. . .

[CapeThai]

She rented the condo in her name? She bought a car in her name on her credit? If that's true it doesn't sound too bad as he can walk. If it's all in his name and his credit, I'd get worried. In addition to money there can be big problems getting her out of a condo that's in his name. Same with getting anything for the car other than payments.

Cheers.

The condo and car is in her name and she's not asking him to share any of the down payments that came out of her pocket ( 175000 baht ) in total I think. All she ask of him is to pay the installments on the car as it is actually his and half of the rent on the condo.

I have been reading all that you wrote about this girl...... a couple of things to note.....

if she got a condo and a car then they are in her name.... She would need his passport to put them into his name..... So he does not own the car or the condo and she can do as she pleases after he has flipped the bill....

The idea that the family does not want sin sod is good.... this shows the family is not pushing her to marry him for money..... However, even though this was the case with my Thai family when i married i still had to show sin sid for the wedding ceremony with which was placed quietly under my bed after the wedding.....

All in all I would say he has found a good woman.... Only time will tell for sure but he should never let his heart empty his wallet.... The simple fact that she bought all this without discussing it with him in advance has me thinking this is how his future will be.... Her buying things she thinks is good without talking about it before hand and agreeing to it... This should be addressed seriously before he considers a life with her.....He should clarify what exactly taking care of family means to her and to her parents also..... If it means sending them 20,000 baht a month to live then he will be poor to raise his own family with her..... If it means helping when needed and helping for medical then this is different and he can plan for those things.....

i have met some women who had foreigners for 6-9 years and left them because they would not send or give more money to help the family live the high-so life they were getting used to.... they just wanted him to send more money....

Her family is going to be an incredible influence to all she does in the future... So he needs to make things clear what he is willing and unwilling to do and she needs to agree.... He should also judge her feelings to doing things that maybe her family is against..... just in case a situation comes up (which probably will) that they dont understand or agree to and that he will have a problem from...

You can PM me if you like for more if you like.... My situation with the woman and the family is about the same as his..

Thanks mate. I don't have insight of every little details of their affairs but they did talk about renting a condo together and him buying a affordable used second hand car as he for some reason simply refuses to get in taxi or on a motorbike with a Thai driving.

His point is being she makes all this happen within 4 days and only difference to what they agreed on is the New Car and new model she went and bought. He says he wanted to spend 250000 baht on a used affordable car he found in Pattaya but she reckoning the place flooded some years ago and the car will only be problems...thus buying a new one and she paid 130000 down on the car with her own money and he using the original 250000 baht to do the monthly payment on it.

Many is out bashing him here but I don't see him loosing any money should their relationship go sour...in fact just the other way around. But as I mentioned before I see them having a lot of respect for each other and from what I can see these two are really alike. They even call themselves the Terrible Twins..

[PLW]

I think you are lucky and need to see this through. This woman has skills and is lucky to get 40 year old. She sees a future with your friend.

[CMBob]

In the OP's first post, he said: "He's an old friend of mine from back home and I think it's not place to advise him on any of this." Presuming you're not his guardian or he has no particular problem in making his own decisions, I agree with that statement entirely.

As for then posting a summary of the relationship on a message board and asking others (who don't know either your friend or his girlfriend) to then analyze your old friend's relationship with his girlfriend, I simply am amazed. I'd only recommend wishing your friend well and then strictly following the good advice noted above that you gave yourself.

[transam]

i am his friend. I just turned 72, but i look 30!!! I take vitamins and walk every day!!! I listen to hip-hop music and can stay up to 8:30 p.m. some nights!!! But I am up at 4, drinking warm milk.

Hmmmmmmmmm, you listen to Hip Hop............I am out of this thread........... ...........

[ToddinChonburi]

This is really something he is going to have to play by ear we say, one day, one week at a time. Yes there are some very good Thai women but you really need to proceed with caution. No need to rush to get married if she is a good girl she will wait. Date for 2 years it is amazing how much you get to know about a women in that time. She has a good side and a bad side, you really need to find out if you can tolerate her bad side. what ever that is. During this 2 years you will learn about her family, her friends and all the wonderful things you have in common. Likes and dislikes.

To many Farangs rush into marriage end up divorced and have nothing. You have to remember all Thai's think we are rich and that is no bullshit !!!

I have learned so much by just dating and asking ? Honestly this place is like a candy store, sooner or later you will get tired of buying Milkyway's and you will grave for a Snickers.

Saying that I will also say you could be very happy the rest of your life with this lady, only time will tell.

I will also add she is 32 and has no children and never married ? What is wrong with her ? Seriously Why has she not been snached up by a Thai ?

These ? will all be answered with time and you will find out maybe something you do not like very much.

Go to her home, look around. Is there Farang homes she sees a lot of ?

Does she have friends married to Farang's ?

I do not want to scare your friend but sometimes you need someone to pull your head out of your ass.

I am always here to help.

[louse1953]

If I'm correct, when they marry, her debt will become his debt. The more debt she incurrs, etc etc. . .

why farangs rush to get married is a mystery to me.If you want to live in"sin"Thailand is the most unjudgemental to do it.