Please please help

[fireroksy]

I've only just read this. I will now upset a lot of people. It reads like a scam. Very clever, lots of sad bits about babies dying, totally unnecessary if she (he?) simply wanted advice on what to do when stuck in Patong with no money.

See? I said I'd upset some people.

Was writing about it to somehow explain how I came to be in Phuket with no money. Did not expect people to belive me. What? Farang in Phuket, with no money? Is she an idiot?

Also a need to talk to someone.

Well, it's real and the babies, real.

Wanna meet I'll show ya my hospital paperwork.

S**t happens, do not wish the same on anyone.

If you have nothing good to say, waw paw anything at all. You never really know it all.

[stevenl]

I detect a varying level of English in the op's posts. I don't think scam but do think troll

[DLock]

I don't think scam or troll.

Just someone who had unrealistic expectations, made a few bad decisions and had a bit of bad luck and can't seem to get out of the spiral.

I don't mean to be harsh, but you must have known that your husband was always going to be a laborer and earning Burmese salary, and going to live in poverty in Burma was not the romantic happy ending you were expecting. Leaving Koh Tao was a mistake and now you are entering low season where more people are losing their jobs that getting them.

Wake up. You need to go where you can earn real money and not live in a one room condo barely surviving. What happens if you get sick again? What happens if you get pregnant? What happens if your husband loses his job and gets sent back to Burma?

You do not have an escape plan, let alone a plan for beyond today. Stop crying into your pillow, borrow some money and get out of here and find real work.

Hard time require hard decisions.

[fireroksy]

Of course everyone is skeptical when they read these kind of stories, but sometimes they are true and my heart goes out to these people, if true.

Before people assume all these stories are are a hoax, please do not judge and if you want or can help people in these situations, why don't you meet them in person and then pass judgement. If not, just remain silent.

There is a word-COMPASSION-please look up the definition for all you fortunate people and hope you are never in this situation.

Thank for a kind word.

At the moment I am reading some of the replies with tears on my face, and I thought that I could not cry any more.

[fireroksy]

I detect a varying level of English in the op's posts. I don't think scam but do think troll

Find a bit hard typing while sobbing, so sorry for not so perfect english. English is not my first or only language. At the time like this even thinking in a correct language for the situation is a little difficult.

[longstebe]

Don't you have family or close friends to comfort you?

[LivinginKata]

Could any harm come to you if you posted here your Thai bank and account number? I can't think how that could be bad, but I do not have a criminal mind. I think it somewhat irresponsible of you to dump a story like this on Costas, me, and the other good folk of TV. If several of us gave you the equivalent of a 6-pack of beer, it would make merit for us (I don't find monks particularly deserving) and help you climb out of a hole.Or perhaps someone here has a better idea. Maybe you register at the Red Cross and we give to them as intermediaries?

No way the forum rules allow the soliciting of money.

Forum rule 22) Members are forbidden to ask for or accept donations, gifts or commissions from other members, any charities must contact support for approval before joining to be approved. http://www.thaivisa.com/contact

If the OP posted bank account details then this entire topic would be removed.

So far the OP has stayed within the forum rules. Mods are monitoring closely.

[fireroksy]

I don't think scam or troll.

Just someone who had unrealistic expectations, made a few bad decisions and had a bit of bad luck and can't seem to get out of the spiral.

I don't mean to be harsh, but you must have known that your husband was always going to be a laborer and earning Burmese salary, and going to live in poverty in Burma was not the romantic happy ending you were expecting. Leaving Koh Tao was a mistake and now you are entering low season where more people are losing their jobs that getting them.

Wake up. You need to go where you can earn real money and not live in a one room condo barely surviving. What happens if you get sick again? What happens if you get pregnant? What happens if your husband loses his job and gets sent back to Burma?

You do not have an escape plan, let alone a plan for beyond today. Stop crying into your pillow, borrow some money and get out of here and find real work.

Hard time require hard decisions.

Thanks. DLock.

You are quite correct.

It was bad decision to leave Koh Tao, we have learned that the hard way.

We were not planning to get rich though.

We could happily live in our little house, which we have almost built in Burma. All we need is to survive couple of years here in Thailand, make a little money and we will be OK to come back to Burma, I'll be able to get a visa than.

We did not belive that it's impossible.

Otherwise, I'll have to kiss my husband goodbye and in back to UK, where I have absolutely nothing. 0.

Who said that a woman on the street will with not even appropriate closing for the season will be offered a good job? By the time I reach UK, it will be only me with nothing but a suitcase of summer wear. In this economy? I have already sold everything and at my age I can not even sell myself.

[fireroksy]

Could any harm come to you if you posted here your Thai bank and account number? I can't think how that could be bad, but I do not have a criminal mind. I think it somewhat irresponsible of you to dump a story like this on Costas, me, and the other good folk of TV. If several of us gave you the equivalent of a 6-pack of beer, it would make merit for us (I don't find monks particularly deserving) and help you climb out of a hole.Or perhaps someone here has a better idea. Maybe you register at the Red Cross and we give to them as intermediaries?

No way the forum rules allow the soliciting of money.

Forum rule 22) Members are forbidden to ask for or accept donations, gifts or commissions from other members, any charities must contact support for approval before joining to be approved. http://www.thaivisa.com/contact

If the OP posted bank account details then this entire topic would be removed.

So far the OP has stayed within the forum rules. Mods are monitoring closely.

I would not even dream to ask for money.

All I was hopping for is advise and support, just like every one on TV.

Seems that my situation is to hard to believe.

I should have simply asked for a job.

Don't think that would work either.

[fireroksy]

Thanks a lot to all who has replied to my post. Let it be kind replies or not so.

Gives me some good perspective on my situation.

It is only sad that we all live in a world full of distrust and people who have no time to look around and care even if a little bit. Unfortunately, I do totally understand why.

I am still hopping for some useful advise on here.

Please do not post if you have nothing good to say. My problem is real, I am real.

Will be looking at the replies tomorrow, when with Internet.

Still have some hope.

[Seligne2]

I detect a varying level of English in the op's posts. I don't think scam but do think troll

I am beginning to be convinced that stevenl is right. I imagine 2 gap year students in a drama-writing course collaborating.

[SeanPhuket]

Otherwise, I'll have to kiss my husband goodbye and in back to UK, where I have absolutely nothing. 0.

Who said that a woman on the street will with not even appropriate closing for the season will be offered a good job? By the time I reach UK, it will be only me with nothing but a suitcase of summer wear. In this economy? I have already sold everything and at my age I can not even sell myself.

I was almost believing this until I read the above. "In the economy"

London is booming with jobs and particularly more if you speak with an Eastern European accent. Why else is 1 in 3 in London a foreigner? Ok, yes many enjoy a benefit lifestyle but the huge majority are working hard.

Now if there is any truth in this; go back there and work. I've a wife and two kids here, and if things are slow for me here I have to go. I don't like it as leaving my kids crying children at the airport rips out your soul, but sometimes there isn't a choice! Have food and a decent life with education for the kids, or live in poverty. It's a small price to pay. Maybe this year I may have to go again.

Don't get destroyed by self doubt and pity, yes life is hard for us all sometimes but be strong. Get out there and make the decision... Go and make your life better!

[FireMedic]

I see a great deal of difference in spelling and grammar between the OP and the follow ups. Good luck to you all.

[beechbum]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Otherwise, I'll have to kiss my husband goodbye and in back to UK, where I have absolutely nothing. 0.
Who said that a woman on the street will with not even appropriate closing for the season will be offered a good job? By the time I reach UK, it will be only me with nothing but a suitcase of summer wear. In this economy? I have already sold everything and at my age I can not even sell myself.

I was almost believing this until I read the above. "In the economy"

London is booming with jobs and particularly more if you speak with an Eastern European accent. Why else is 1 in 3 in London a foreigner? Ok, yes many enjoy a benefit lifestyle but the huge majority are working hard.

Now if there is any truth in this; go back there and work. I've a wife and two kids here, and if things are slow for me here I have to go. I don't like it as leaving my kids crying children at the airport rips out your soul, but sometimes there isn't a choice! Have food and a decent life with education for the kids, or live in poverty. It's a small price to pay. Maybe this year I may have to go again.

Don't get destroyed by self doubt and pity, yes life is hard for us all sometimes but be strong. Get out there and make the decision... Go and make your life better!

She says she's more than willing to meet up and verify her situation,

[fireroksy]

Thanks, Beecham.

[fireroksy]

I see a great deal of difference in spelling and grammar between the OP and the follow ups. Good luck to you all.

I was hopping for some support, not a spellchecker. Thank you.

[fireroksy]

Otherwise, I'll have to kiss my husband goodbye and in back to UK, where I have absolutely nothing. 0.

Who said that a woman on the street will with not even appropriate closing for the season will be offered a good job? By the time I reach UK, it will be only me with nothing but a suitcase of summer wear. In this economy? I have already sold everything and at my age I can not even sell myself.

I was almost believing this until I read the above. "In the economy"

London is booming with jobs and particularly more if you speak with an Eastern European accent. Why else is 1 in 3 in London a foreigner? Ok, yes many enjoy a benefit lifestyle but the huge majority are working hard.

Now if there is any truth in this; go back there and work. I've a wife and two kids here, and if things are slow for me here I have to go. I don't like it as leaving my kids crying children at the airport rips out your soul, but sometimes there isn't a choice! Have food and a decent life with education for the kids, or live in poverty. It's a small price to pay. Maybe this year I may have to go again.

Don't get destroyed by self doubt and pity, yes life is hard for us all sometimes but be strong. Get out there and make the decision... Go and make your life better!

Thanks for your support.

Just been to UK last November to renew my passport.

Things seemed much worse than they were before I left 2years ago.

I lived in Wales and know no one in London.

I still had some personal possessions to sell. The best I could get is blanket on the floor of my friends shop front, for which I was grateful, although very cold with no shower and toilet. Everyone I knew, were poorer than before and could do but a little to help. This time round I have nothing left to sell or give in return for the favours. Not even warm clothing to wear.

I do not belive that I'll be able to just go there again and survive this time, forget about getting employment and earn enough money to be reunited with my husband.

Unless you may suggest somewhere I can get employed immediately of the plane.

[fireroksy]

Of course everyone is skeptical when they read these kind of stories, but sometimes they are true and my heart goes out to these people, if true.

Before people assume all these stories are are a hoax, please do not judge and if you want or can help people in these situations, why don't you meet them in person and then pass judgement. If not, just remain silent.

There is a word-COMPASSION-please look up the definition for all you fortunate people and hope you are never in this situation.

Thank you for understanding.

For most, my sad story seemed to be an entertainment.

Well, at least it served some kind of purpose.

Thanks again for sticking up for me.

[manly100]

mmmm, time for a new man?

[FrankBlunt]

Just read this for the first time. Saying "sh*t happens" and blaming the situation on bad luck is boll*cks! &lt;deleted&gt;, you're 39 years old and have ended up in this situation after acting like a love-struck 15 year old runaway. Sure, people can't help who they fall in love with but it seems you have just proceeded to make subsequent big life decisions with your head in the clouds and without any proper planning or thought of future consequences. I mean, getting pregnant in your situation- &lt;deleted&gt; were you thinking of???

Stop bemoaning your situation and get a grip; temporarily leave your bloke in Phuket (sounds like he'll be ok) and get yourself back to the UK. Get yourself checked out medically and find work. Don't look for a quick fix.

Yes, I know it's difficult to make the first move without any money but it does seem like there are some people on here who would like to help so swallow your pride, accept their offers of help and use their money wisely. You can always pay them back in the future if it make you feel better.

[fireroksy]

Just read this for the first time. Saying "sh*t happens" and blaming the situation on bad luck is boll*cks! <deleted>, you're 39 years old and have ended up in this situation after acting like a love-struck 15 year old runaway. Sure, people can't help who they fall in love with but it seems you have just proceeded to make subsequent big life decisions with your head in the clouds and without any proper planning or thought of future consequences. I mean, getting pregnant in your situation- <deleted> were you thinking of???

Stop bemoaning your situation and get a grip; temporarily leave your bloke in Phuket (sounds like he'll be ok) and get yourself back to the UK. Get yourself checked out medically and find work. Don't look for a quick fix.

Yes, I know it's difficult to make the first move without any money but it does seem like there are some people on here who would like to help so swallow your pride, accept their offers of help and use their money wisely. You can always pay them back in the future if it make you feel better.

Thanks a lot for your support and suggestion.

[amykat]

I would start thinking long and hard about who has the most to gain, and who has the most to lose, within this relationship. For the answer, look at how one person had a low paying job, and nothing else. How the other person had an okay job (for here) and "enough money to buy land, build a house and settle down",plus citizenship to one of the best countries in the world and he had a passport to one of the poorest and most screwed up (currently) countries in the world.

Now, you have nothing, not even a job ...you are out of all your savings, and even out of your back up supplies at home, sold anything you could ...and HE has, lets say, the same job back, got a nice visit home to his family, and I would guess 90% of your money, in his name, in land and house, that now benefits him and his family forever.

Now you are reduced to living like a third world, illegal alien in a poor country. He improved his life by coming to Thailand. He improved it more by hooking up with you. YOU might continue to improve his life, by offering him a better passport, sending him money (that was stupid to suggest you leave, get a job in the UK, and then send him money ...for WHAT?), having a baby for him, and who knows what else. Or he expects that no matter where you are, you will make much more then he will and share that with him and his family.

I would think he was quite stupid to get you to quit your job, except that your money did NOT disappear did it? He didn't suggest you go travel around, party, enjoy life, until the money ran out, did he?

On the face of it, HE doesn't seem to make bad decisions for HIS life. I'm sure he is still looking forward to all the things you are going to do for him later. But he is probably incapable of making any decisions that are good for you, as compared to what you could do on your own, without that influence.

Of course he is going to "talk and be so positive" to you or whatever exactly you said. You are being manipulated. Now your self esteem is getting low and you are probably depressed and feel that you can't move on from this. You probably can't even think straight and need some help. I think money isn't exactly the help you need, as you will just continue down this path with this man.

I think you should look for Western people who can help you, like you would in the UK, if you were in an abusive relationship, and needed to escape the guy, would have no money and no things, need some counseling and time to get your brain working again, and then help to get a job and set up in life.

Except there isn't anything here (that I know of) set up for that?? But maybe some of the nice missionary family's could help you? There are a LOT of them in Chiang Mai and they seem to want to help women and children in bad situations ...they have housing, work, money, some of them claim the do counseling. I think you need a break and an environment where you can get your head together, get your self-esteem working again, and then get home and do the rest.

There are definitely plenty of families, living off church money, "here to help" who seem like they would be a decent start, and maybe your only good choice, or if you can get into some kind of program like that, in the UK, get sent directly there ...I don't know. You seriously, are probably depressed and that is medical condition that you could need treatment for, and maybe you really are abused but haven't said it yet, or haven't realized it yet? I think you would have to directly contact people like this and see what could happen. Or maybe some other posters on TV know people who could offer you help like that?

(And I'm not saying you need "the church" ...I am an atheist myself, but I think they have services available for people in need, and you are in that kind of need ...in my opinion, and they shouldn't NOT help you, just because you aren't Thai or Burmese or a Hill Tribe woman.)

Anyway, I think the FIRST step is to really start thinking of yourself as, NOT with this guy ...you might just feel a huge load lifted from that realization ...if you can realize it.

I think many posters on here were hesitant to say "leave the guy", but I am pretty sure, that is what they think. I believe your problems won't improve, until this changes. You will just be using your resources (which includes selling everything, asking family and friends for help, asking strangers, even getting a new job) and it will somehow end up in one disaster after another, and his life slowly (or quickly) getting better and better.

I hope you feel better and get in a good position soon!! Hope I didn't hurt your feelings!!

[Mrjlh]

Isn't there a new British Consulate Female Person in Phuket? Might try contacting her and seeing if they can offer help.

[hansgruber]

Isn't there a new British Consulate Female Person in Phuket? Might try contacting her and seeing if they can offer help.

Consulates aren't here to help with poor life choices.

[LivinginKata]

Isn't there a new British Consulate Female Person in Phuket? Might try contacting her and seeing if they can offer help.

Consulates aren't here to help with poor life choices.

And there is no British female consulate in Phuket. And to be honest the British embassy or consulates offer virtually no assistance, they are far to busy saving money by reducing the poor service in Phuket to no service. Read about UK citizens from the burned out Ao Nang ferry trying to get temporary UK passports.

[KarenBravo]

Isn't there a new British Consulate Female Person in Phuket? Might try contacting her and seeing if they can offer help.

There is a new female Australian honorary consul.

[Squeegee]

Build a house in the Burmese jungle and then what, 39 year old woman? Not much call for hospitality, out there. And getting pregnant, not once but twice, in the midst of all these troubles?

I fear donating money to help you would be like giving cash to a homeless alcoholic.

Stop blubbering. All this "Can't type when I'm in tears" stuff doesn't make you come across any better than the rest of your decision making. Oh but the economy and lack of support/resources back home? Back home are such things as safety nets: social services, charities and... civilised ways and means - all of which you are rejecting with excuses just because you know you won't walk into a job as soon as you land. That's life and you need to make it happen, not blubbing into a pillow or trying to cling to your fantasy, clutching at straws just to stay in Asia.

You've been deeply naive, possibly deluded, and you need to go home as numerous posters have already told you.

I've made some poor decisions in my life too, and I know it can be hard to get out of the hole one digs for oneself, and quite likely very grim to live with as well: your husband can join you later once you've got a bedsit and a shelf-stacking job, if that's what it takes.

No amount of hugs or sympathy can help you now. Help yourself by being strong enough to swallow the necessary medicine. A poor decision maker's first step towards getting their life in order is to admit responsibility for one's actions, rather than putting a slew of troubles down to "bad luck". Then you need to face grim prospects and a tough time but if you can do that things... will... get... better.

Or carry on dreaming until reality hits even harder.

Jeeze, 39 years old, making babies and hoping to get a crappy job in Phuket with a husband who can only earn 400thb a day. From the very beginning of your story and along every step of the way... what the hell are you thinking?!

Note that's not 'what were you thinking' but 'what are you thinking' because your attitude in this thread shows you've learned nothing from these experiences, rather you prefer to cry into a pillow and reject the support you can get back home.

When you step off the plane go straight to the Citizen's Advice Bureau - they will have the info and contacts you need to start rebuilding your life. Put your name on the list for a council flat, being technically homeless you'll hopefully get fast-tracked, although I would advise sticking with a cheap bedsit so you don't have to worry about Council Tax. Then take any job you can and In 12 months you'll already have money behind you and can start the process to get your husband over. That will be better for him because he can make far better money in your country than he can in Asia, thus you both will be richer and he can send more to his extended family.

Positive, not this crappy crying stuff. And stop the fantasy lifestyle dreams and pregnancies: you know what condoms are, use 'em. If hubby's need to produce offspring is more important than all this then there's your real answer as to what kind of a man you've got.

Edited April 16, 2015 by Squeegee

[Sealbash]

Scam. The reasons for this opinion are: 1). Nobody in or from Myanmar calls their country "Burma". 2). Myanmar immigration is like a sieve. They do not check anything at any time. 3). You can not buy land in Myanmar. 4). Food poisoning does not last 7 months. 5). 4 months validity left in passport and can not apply for a new one? 6). Internal travel in Myanmar is NOT expensive. 7). It is not difficult for communications into Myanmar. Like every other country, everyone has a cell phone pasted to their ears. 8). As stated, the standard of living for many in Myanmar is quite low. But I know of no one who sleeps with mice crawling over them. Yes, I am living in Myanmar, and have been for some time, with frequent travel around the country and internationally.

But, a good story for those who wish to believe it.

Edit: One more - embassies are not located in the capital.

Edited April 16, 2015 by Sealbash

[Squeegee]

I also think this could be fake. "Crying as I type" sounds like something out of a spam/phishing email.

And the nonsense about using the internet costs as much as a beer or meal in a restaurant

[beechbum]

<script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script>

Isn't there a new British Consulate Female Person in Phuket? Might try contacting her and seeing if they can offer help.

There is a new female Australian honorary consul.

Who's a Canadian..whats up with that, anyone know?