opalred Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 we sometimes dont understand there thinking on many things my wife of many years every morning buys cakes and things to put on her shrine in backyard for past relations in new lives i have chickens and quail and fish in backyard and nightfall when i feed them i also feed from her shrine the cakes and food to the animals i have never told wife where food on shrine goes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 MOVED to Expat forum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
96tehtarp Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 She most likely knows that you are doing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mauGR1 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 She most likely knows that you are doing that. Agree... And as far as i know , there is nothing wrong with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzarella Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) Better to stop doing that, and not tell your wife about. If she found out that you are doing that you will get in BIG trouble. Food for merits can be consumed after retired by her, but not by other people. If animal feeds from that food on the shrine is OK, but not given by people. Will be considered non respectful by religious people, and by your wife if she is too. Superstitions runs high in Buddhist religious people. Any "bad luck" can be related with what happens with the merits. Edited May 25, 2015 by Muzarella Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirineou Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 my wife puts food in the shrine, and then the neighbors chickens come and eat it, I think the neighbors chickens are possessed by the spirits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) wow! opalred - you are doing 'something' relating to her culture - that she hasn't earlier on ordered you to do/or touch!!! so, I see it as a damned if you don't - damned if you do, situation. Either one day she'll either confront you - but it will be at a much later date when you least expect it!, or you could simply ask her one day - "what time can I take it away" for her. ( this will at least settle the question as to whether you are even allow to touch it - period!! ) She may, as already suggested by some, already know what you have been doing, and is being kind (if that's possible? ) to not make you lose face - as she would expect if was her in your place, as an unknowing farang. Glad it's you, not me in your situation, as mine would have bitten my head off by now... Edited May 25, 2015 by tifino Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharlieH Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Personally, I see it as a total lack of respect for your wife and her beliefs. The fact that you do it in a sly manner makes it even worse ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendejo Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Sounds like leaving cookies and milk out for Santa, and in the morning the kids wake up and find the empty glass and empty plate. If your wife doesn't know what you're doing, what does she think becomes of the offerings no longer there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longstebe Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Cakes? What happened to the usual bananas and the red coloured drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asdecas Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Thai spirits are particularly fond on 'nam daeng' when they can get it, I find. In times of paucity, 'nam kaeow' will do, but be aware that it is a very poor substitute, and likely to lead to some ructions in the 'other world'. As for cakes and other confections, the 'people over there' have sweet tooths just as we do, and are as prone to overfeeding and its associated ailments as we are in the lower world. Best therefore to see that not too much cake is offered at once, but rather be sparing and vary their diet with some roughage from time to time. Next week - how to ensure a harmonious and happy spirit house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronthai Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Cakes? What happened to the usual bananas and the red coloured drink. It's paid for with farang money. Therefore it can be more expensive Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneday Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Just keep doing it. If she ever finds out then plead ignorance and it will pass, but from that moment on you can't do it anymore so keep being sneaky. I'm with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bushdoctor Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Perhaps suggest to your wife that the spirits might enjoy a couple of Chang beers from time to time. It will give you something to do while you're feeding the fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msealey Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 In Buddhism, does anyone know how many merits you need to get for a distinction? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdanielmcev Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Tread carefully Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Every religion has irrational aspects, from an outsiders point-of-view. Every religion. If the OP's wife were to disrespect his religion (assuming he has one), how would he feel? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
northernphil Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 my wife puts food in the shrine, and then the neighbors chickens come and eat it, I think the neighbors chickens are possessed by the spirits. The way some of my neighbours sing at night I think they are possessed by evil spirits, mainly laokao based. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nemesis7 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 There is nothing wrong in showing little respect Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kannot Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Try explaining to her its all nonsense..............yeah right, still stuck in the mindset of the caveman, why do I have to respect stupidity? because they'll kill me if I don't, some respect eh . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 What my wife does in her religious practice, is to me .. a sacred thing between her, and her God.I do not need to understand it... I only need to respect it.Although those cakes seem "wasted" to you ... they are not ... in her religion.Perhaps you could just smile, leave the cakes where they are for a while .. and see what she says.She DOES realize they disappear, and may think animals come at night and eat them .. which would make her happy.She would not be happy to know you have interfered in her Merit and Boon. It would be like taking flowers from a grave, "Such a waste, I will feed them to my ducks .." and not expecting the person who put them there to be offended.My question is, if those cakes are there in the morning, what does she do with them when she puts the new Merit out?Leave it all there for a while, and get the answer to that question. It would be funny if she said "I feed them to the chickens." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tchooptip Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 There is nothing wrong in showing little respect Unfortunately this very notion of respect is slowly but surely disappearing in the western world ...IMHO at least (not about OP but generally speaking) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lvr181 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 my wife puts food in the shrine, and then the neighbors chickens come and eat it, I think the neighbors chickens are possessed by the spirits. The chickens get Sang Som also? Wow. Is this how the old saying "pi**ed as a chook" came from? (my bold, above) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asheron Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 What my wife does in her religious practice, is to me .. a sacred thing between her, and her God. I do not need to understand it... I only need to respect it. Although those cakes seem "wasted" to you ... they are not ... in her religion. Perhaps you could just smile, leave the cakes where they are for a while .. and see what she says. She DOES realize they disappear, and may think animals come at night and eat them .. which would make her happy. She would not be happy to know you have interfered in her Merit and Boon. It would be like taking flowers from a grave, "Such a waste, I will feed them to my ducks .." and not expecting the person who put them there to be offended. My question is, if those cakes are there in the morning, what does she do with them when she puts the new Merit out? Leave it all there for a while, and get the answer to that question. It would be funny if she said "I feed them to the chickens." Very good points. Especially the flowers in the cemetery example. Why do people do that? The dead are dead, they don't care!! Well, people have their beliefs, don't they. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because. good news ... those people do not care what you think. you must be a delight to have a cup of tea with. not judgin' ... just sayin' 555 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gecko123 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Opaired: If the wife catches you, just tell her you were concerned she was overfeeding the dearly departed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Asheron Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because. good news ... those people do not care what you think. you must be a delight to have a cup of tea with. not judgin' ... just sayin' 555 Even better news is that i wouldn't care that they didn't care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razzler1973 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Do the fish like the cakes?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Maybe i'm a "militant atheist" but if you allow "pink unicorns" to rule your life then so be it but you shouldn't expect other people to care about your "pink unicorns" and really accept that they will make fun of you because of your "pink unicorns". And least of all should you expect people to "respect" your "pink unicorns" just because. good news ... those people do not care what you think. you must be a delight to have a cup of tea with. not judgin' ... just sayin' 555 Even better news is that i wouldn't care that they didn't care So you absolutely do not care, but go out of your way to talk about other people's business and just keep posting. Thou does protest too loudly, me thinks! You see, I am an atheist, most people do not know that. It is not my place to judge others if they believe in the Tooth Fairy, God .. or whatever. To me, the "radical atheists" are just as annoying as any bible thumper, perhaps more so, for they are thumping the "I do not believe!!" bible. Can you see how silly that sounds? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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