I am "old" fashion or what?

[HooHaa]

if you had not married down, you would not have this issue.

you made your choice.

[wanderluster]

easy solution,, next time she complains about not having all the same things as the other gold diggers, she her to the door and or soi 6 in pattaya.. just be prepared if she goes out it... at least then you will know one way or the other if its you or just the money.. i tell my gf i can find a new lady in about 10 min... and she knows it....

[Nemesis7]

you are not old fashioned. and its so sad but many Thai women do look for farangs for high life.

In love should there be any comparison of wealth that others have?

its hard to find true love here.

[cmrichsw]

Tell your wife Sorry you picked the wrong foreigner.

Single forever.

Signed 1 time only

[dave_boo]

if you had not married down, you would not have this issue.

you made your choice.

What is 'down'...?

I took it to mean a lower class...

[HooHaa]

if you had not married down, you would not have this issue.

you made your choice.

What is 'down'...?

I took it to mean a lower class...

indeed, trans am as usual is being obtuse. the meaning is quite clear.

[northernphil]

Not all Thai women are this way.

Most women want some things from a relationship, particularly a marriage.

It is traditional that men provide for the family and the woman cares for the home and family.

In 'more traditional' cultures this is true more often, as much because the culture is traditional and less varied, but equally as much because the women are not as educated and do not have/not see options of their own (for whatever reason).

Being clear about what you want from a partner is a good thing to have in a marriage. Accepting your partner's shortcomings is equally as important.

What do you tell a wife with 2 black eyes?

Nothin' you told her twice already

What do you tell a wife with 2 black eyes?

Nothin' you told her twice already ...................... Thats my laugh for the day....Thanks

Mine too, But I won't tell the wife , after trying to explain the joke twice or more times it might lead to ............me getting a kick in the plums.

[paddyjoe41]

When my wife went out with 2 black eyes,her friend said who gave you 2 black eyes,she told them you dont get them given to you,you have to fight for them.

[paddyjoe41]

When my wife went out with 2 black eyes,her friend said who gave you 2 black eyes,she told them you dont get them given to you,you have to fight for them.

[northernphil]

On a serious note. My wife a few years ago would say " What is mine is mine what is yours is ours ". Now every 2 or 3 months she wins some dosh on the State Rottely and even gives me a 1000B as she is so well made up. You would think she had won the ................... which of course she had DUH !

[Straight8]

OP, there you go, all the answers in about 30 replies.

If you don't take control, you will be just like those stupid farangs, maybe even worse depending how high on the chain your wife wants to get.

Saddest part about these kind of stories is that it just gets worse. Dopes traveling miles to a foriegn country to be effed over!!!

We don't call it amazing Thailand for nothing.

[Bignose]

IMHO age may not necessarily be that important, if there is an affection and respect with some common understanding then you have every chance of success.

I fear the contributors who stress the need to "quarantine" your wife from the more vocal friends are spot on, I have listened to many. many females talk about what they have, what they have been given, and what they will get in the future. While I can't vouch for 100% accuracy I have found it's mostly 75% BS, I believe as ex working girls there is a need to justify their lives and to exaggerate their status. I don't think it's a specifically Thai trait as I have witnessed it with other nationalities, while not wanting to generalize too much I think it's just a female trait!

Keep her away from the more vocal friends, sit her down and explain the facts of life to her, that you are happy with her and providing for her but that you both have other options should one be unhappy...

While it may be difficult, show her that a new life either on you're own or with someone else is not something you are afraid of, that should help her re prioritize what she wants (or thinks what she wants)

[Rockhopper]

You need to read "Thailand Fever." Thai women equate love differently than Westerners.

[paddyjoe41]

I think basically we are all here for similar things,a decent woman if possible,live happy and to our budget,love may come and then it may not,but if you have one thats ok,then dont change things,just do things as you would normally,ok we all have to give a little,but thats about it.We must not forget that we did not spend 10 years courting her,so when she says she loves you just take it with a pinch of salt,if you dont change she will either stay or go,if she stays then DONT CHANGE.If she goes,well lets face it,you werent long finding her in the first place,so another should be no problem.

[nithisa78]

To argue with the wife is foolish and old fashioned.

We had a similar situation, though the Mrs. felt badly and she lives like a Queen. Well behaved.

The short of it is after a lifetime, she is seeing these people how they are and one by one, good bye, have a nice day. My husband good man.

You can't upgrade your life in five minutes and the process isn't always pleasing. Just worth it.

[faraday]

Whether or not equating material wealth to prostitution is correct, I wouldn't have used that word. It has obviously upset her.

You need to explain that money & love are not directly proportional, & even though those friends of her may appear happy, ask her if she thinks they truly are.

Also, try explaining to her what my signature means.

[kennypowers]

You need to read "Thailand Fever." Thai women equate love differently than Westerners.

You mean the ex Thai-Lao bar girls that book is based around. You can't make generalisations like that. Period.

[nithisa78]

Whether or not equating material wealth to prostitution is correct, I wouldn't have used that word. It has obviously upset her.

You need to explain that money & love are not directly proportional, & even though those friends of her may appear happy, ask her if she thinks they truly are.

Also, try explaining to her what my signature means.

What you say is good. However, I've seen they have to see for themselves more than be told. Once I shut up, things smooth out very quickly.

I've been managing people since I'm 4 yoa. In pre school. They called it show and tell, not tell and show.

[stopthegreed]

All Thai women, and before anyone says it. YES all of them, I can just hear some of you now. Well Im 100% sure my wife is not like that. I have news for you. SHE IS They are interested in one thing only, Money....and the material things it buys. End Of !!!

I have seen so many times, as soon as the husband dies, the house gets sold, and they move away with their Thai boyfriend. In some circumstances he doesnt even have to die. Oh Darling Im going to visit my Mum for a few days, BULLSHIT.

My advice to any Farang is stay alone. When you want a bit of company pay for it, as little as possible. You will save yourself a lot of heartache and loads of cash.

[brucegoniners]

You're absolutely right!

Fortunately my wife isn't like that.

We're far from wealthy, but she's happy with what she has.

[stopthegreed]

Not all Thai women are this way.

Most women want some things from a relationship, particularly a marriage.

It is traditional that men provide for the family and the woman cares for the home and family.

In 'more traditional' cultures this is true more often, as much because the culture is traditional and less varied, but equally as much because the women are not as educated and do not have/not see options of their own (for whatever reason).

Being clear about what you want from a partner is a good thing to have in a marriage. Accepting your partner's shortcomings is equally as important.

What do you tell a wife with 2 black eyes?

Nothin' you told her twice already

Yes your right the husband provides for the family, he buys washing machines, and fridges, and has a nice home. But are they happy with that?? NO, they want gold, a car IN THEIR NAME. Its not about the family with these women, its about what they have personally. Keep your money in your pocket, a wedding ring, thats it...Car and everything else in your own name.

[coulson]

''She said that Thai women expect benefits in a marriage, and men needs to give "benefits" in exchange of having women in bed and taking care of its needs. That if ....farang women give sex and care for free, I need to look for farang woman and not getting married with a Thai''

I can understand there is a relationship between providing and reaping the benefits, in any relationship of any culture, but your wife sounds like she's reading you the riot act off the back of a business deal, never mind where she's getting the ideas. Did she have the same friends when you first met?

I do admire her brass nuts calling all farang women cheap sluts 555.....because they don't do it in exchange for money!!!

I'm immediately off to get to know my girlfriends buddies better.........then I think I'll tell her our engagement is going to be 5 - 10 years.

[thailandforumaddict]

Find a wife with a job, she will have friends who also work for money and do not just open their legs to get it...

[wwest5829]

Hmmm, rather than running on with the cultural nuances (pecking order), or other dissertations (you're welcome) I will just say that was serious issue #1 when entering the long term relationship. Bottom line, this is the way it is, if you can accept this, then share my life. If you cannot accept this, well, I wish you well. We have not had to revisit this issue.

[HooHaa]

I think basically we are all here for similar things,a decent woman if possible,live happy and to our budget,love may come and then it may not,but if you have one thats ok,then dont change things,just do things as you would normally,ok we all have to give a little,but thats about it.We must not forget that we did not spend 10 years courting her,so when she says she loves you just take it with a pinch of salt,if you dont change she will either stay or go,if she stays then DONT CHANGE.If she goes,well lets face it,you werent long finding her in the first place,so another should be no problem.

i think it is pretty sad to have to travel around the world to meet a woman.

if that is the primary reason for most on here being in thailand, it is no wonder that so many get taken to the cleaners.

this fear of being alone seems to drive men to make matches in desperation and that can never end well.

[bbbbooboo]

Stupid IS what stupid DOES?

[Baerboxer]

While living in the US, my wife met quite a few married Thai women over the years, and nearly all wanted to know 3 things: How much does your husband make?, How much did your house cost?, and How much does your husband give you each month?.

Fortunately, my wife subscribes to the western "none of your business" attitude when it comes to these things, and quickly distanced herself from these women after blowing off their questions. In her mind, it was much better to have just a couple of good, close, decent female Thai friends, than a horde of materialistic hangers-on. She really handled those situations well.

Same experience with Thai women in the UK Dr.D.

The pushiest were the ex-bar girl whores. All about money with them. How much husband earn, what he give you for spending, show jewels watches designer handbags he buy you, has he bought you house in Thailand etc etc etc. They were very noticeable at the social events as they always drank a lot, some smoked and they liked to play cards and pick at other women, their husband's and children. Of course they lied about what they received, always had to inflate things.

The ladies that hadn't worked in the sex trade were different. They were not so jealous but like shopping together and chatting. One thing that was odd was that they liked comparing their sex lives. How many times a week, what you did etc. One or two were worried about not satisfying husband or husband playing away. They thought if the husband was happy with sex life he'd show it buy spoiling them. Their mentality towards things material was childish like that.

A few, mostly the ex-whores deliberately looked for replacement husbands - usually targeting younger, better off single males. There was a group of Thai women who used to go out on the booze once a week. They would come to a nightclub where I worked and new that I new them and their husbands, albeit on nodding basis. They were on the pull and couldn't care less about who saw them.

Remember this is the country of face above all. Your wife wants all the others to be jealous of her - not scoff behind her, which they don't really hide too much with the barbed comments.

[neeray]

This has been a good thread. TVF members shone on this one with some pretty level headed input.

[hellohello123]

I would reply

"Well, if it is really about benefits for the man like sex. Then just be aware that if your sexual performance drops or I suddenly decide that you arent satisfactory or my tastes change, I will divert my finds and resources to someone that i decide is good enough for me! So you had better be aware of that"

[chilli42]

I wish I had a dollar for each time I was subjected to the lies told me by farangs about how rich they are. Money and lies go hand in hand. In regard to Thai culture, it has always had a heavy dose of "face" and "show" where one-up-manship is the game they are out to win. This is not to say all Thais play that game. Just like all farangs don't play that game. To be sure though, many do. Sadly your wife seems to losing this game and is turning resentful as a result - despite the likelihood that at least half of what she hears are lies. If she does not get new freinds or you don't open the purse strings then you may end up on the rocks. Having said that, finding a new wife will certainly lead you to being a happier man ... so cheer up and enjoy the ride ... better times are ahead.