Hiding ones broken broke tax owing divorced disgrace behind a love for THailand and hate home

[Smurkster]

I am 28 years old and just returned to the United States to live (at least 6 months) after spending the better half of five years in Thailand and Laos...What I am going talk about is MUCH more prevalent amongst expats in Thailand than in Laos.

I will get to meet a an individual who espouses great love for Thailand and how life and things are so much better over here than they are back home, I will get to know them and will find out later (usually through a 3rd party) they are either divorced, in tax exile, broke or a big alcoholic....they will talk about how life in the west sucks compared to Thailand and how everything just everything is better over there and if you point out a few things that you think might be better back home (USA, Canada, Europe, Australia you know "Falangland") they immediately accuse you of bashing Thailand and Thai People.....what are other peoples experience with people who exude an overzealous enthusiasm for Thailand?seems like a lot of the time they are hiding something.....it's like they have to love love love everything Thai to cover up how things didn't go so well back home...I'm not judging except that some of these guys can be nasty and cold (lots of them just don't like to like Americans either for stubborn reasons, yea yea, I know it aint perfect in USA either)

After being back in the western world, I don't know if I really want to go back to Thailand and live, I first thought it was a much better life...

I taught English for a few years it was fun but eventually realized that as a young guy, there is so much going on for me here (Its not even a woman issue at all, ok Thailand takes the cake with that one, but I'm married to a Thai girl so it was easy to get her over here). Good music scene, A LOT more education amongst people my age vs as back in Thailand...(I'm not judging I know the education system being crappy is not their fault).. Politcally, I'm not sure a place like Thailand is really much better than the USA I mean with Great Leader and all and the impending you know what.....

that being said, If I come back to Southeast Asia to live, I'm sticking to Laos...

Edited June 20, 2015 by Smurkster

[n210mp]

OK no problem Smurkster.

Your OP could be a great thread and when you sober up maybe you could elucidate on what the heck you are talking about because I personally think you have something of worth to say

Dont take my pee taking as a put down, some of my best stuff on here was whilst I was under the influence of a mild sensation of the Scottish ambre nectar

[weegee]

Congratulations son...you are now thinking like a mature adult at age 28yrs...

Make your own decisions in life....dont let others make them for you.

[Ghostnigel]

Because you are only 28, it's ok for you to think that way. You are young, so you have a different mind set to a large portion of foreigners living in Thailand.

A lot of people here tend to have ' been there, done that', lived a life in the west, and now want to start afresh in a new world, maybe to find a 'spark' to light a new fire in them, or just to chill out in later years. All have different reasons,

But for you, you are still to live your life. Maybe in 20 or 30 years back in America, you will want a change, most people here could live either in the west, or in Asia, they just chose one, or do both.

Good luck in where you chose, try not to think older than your years, it will come to you one day, like everyone else.

[MaeJoMTB]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Edited June 20, 2015 by MaeJoMTB

[CharlieH]

MOVED to Expat forum

[Smurkster]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

The worst part about the last part you wrote is that it's probably based on all the failed relationships you have seen in Thailand...I really can't blame you because a successful relationship between a falang and thai is an exception rather than the rule.....but usually there is usually an age discrepancy (not always) and quite often the woman are ex bar girls...

I met my wife when I was in the United States visiting from Thailand (she was on a J1 visa at the time, we were living in each others respective countries). We are the same age, she is well educated and comes from an incredible family...there are no guarantees in life but I'm willing to make that 5 year bet with you....

meanwhile, here's to summer in New England..!

[bannork]

Great alliteration OP,- I assume you are a closet homosexual with your double reference to broke and hide ( Broke Back Mountain) plus the divorced disgrace- presumably due to your sexual preferences-...... behind a love for TH- threw me for a bit until I realized it was an acronym for Thai homosexuals.

Don't worry Thailand's a very liberal country, you can even get a job in the cosmetic section of well known department stores.

[JOC]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

The worst part about the last part you wrote is that it's probably based on all the failed relationships you have seen in Thailand...I really can't blame you because a successful relationship between a falang and thai is an exception rather than the rule.....but usually there is usually an age discrepancy (not always) and quite often the woman are ex bar girls...

I met my wife when I was in the United States visiting from Thailand (she was on a J1 visa at the time, we were living in each others respective countries). We are the same age, she is well educated and comes from an incredible family...there are no guarantees in life but I'm willing to make that 5 year bet with you....

meanwhile, here's to summer in New England..!

<<The worst part about the last part you wrote is that it's probably based on all the failed relationships you have seen in Thailand...I really can't blame you because a successful relationship between a falang and thai is an exception rather than the rule.....but usually there is usually an age discrepancy (not always) and quite often the woman are ex bar girls...<<

Seriously please stay in the US!!

Thailand is a country where live and let live is one of the attractions!!

[Beetlejuice]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Always good to look on the optimistic side.

I have been married to my Thai wife for 32 years and have many farang friends both in Thailand and abroad who have been married to Thai women for well over 20 years, have families and extremely settled and happy with their lives.

You and some others like you may have been unlucky, but as a whole, men only get the women they deserve. I can assure you that what you say does not represent a great many of us.

My advice to the OP is; always use common sense, never get into things over his head, be patience and work hard for a secure and positive future.

The OP is still a very young man and seems to be trying to find a direction in his life. Wishing him and his wife prosperity for the future.

[krisb]

Why Laos?

What makes it better than Thailand iyo ?

I will say I'm really keen to visit Laos myself one day soon. Never heard any bad reports about the place so far.

[fey]

I admit to not reading all of your ramble,,,

But will comment anyhow.

You need to realize that thailand is a magnet for people with problems, financially and especially personal and psych stuff including relationships. It's also a common first destination to run to because it's easy, safe etc. which tends to intensify this stuff when people first arrive.

Once you figure this out you can stop analyzing expats you meet there. It's simply not worth your time other then an amusing hobby.

[n210mp]

I admit to not reading all of your ramble,,,

But will comment anyhow.

You need to realize that thailand is a magnet for people with problems, financially and especially personal and psych stuff including relationships. It's also a common first destination to run to because it's easy, safe etc. which tends to intensify this stuff when people first arrive.

Once you figure this out you can stop analyzing expats you meet there. It's simply not worth your time other then an amusing hobby.

Yes I tend to agree but "people in general" have problems, dont they, wherever they live or holiday?

This s not unique to Thailand, maybe they are just more under the microscope here and there "problems" much more apparent, especially when they post on here!

[n210mp]

Great alliteration OP,- I assume you are a closet homosexual with your double reference to broke and hide ( Broke Back Mountain) plus the divorced disgrace- presumably due to your sexual preferences-...... behind a love for TH- threw me for a bit until I realized it was an acronym for Thai homosexuals.

Don't worry Thailand's a very liberal country, you can even get a job in the cosmetic section of well known department stores.

What a wonderfully perceptive and remarkable post bannock, just hope that its not true because then I would have to admit to being totally naive and out of sync with the world or at least the world of the "much younger" like Smurkster 55555

For those, me included who coudnt remember what the word "aliteration" meant I looked it up and here is the meaning

1. "Alliteration is a stylistic literary device identified by the repeated sound of the first consonant in a series of multiple words, or the repetition of the same sounds or of the same kinds of sounds at the beginning of words or in stressed syllables of a phrase."
2. Alliteration - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Edited June 21, 2015 by n210mp

[Naam]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

exceptions prove the rule!

[johnnybgood]

Great alliteration OP,- I assume you are a closet homosexual with your double reference to broke and hide ( Broke Back Mountain) plus the divorced disgrace- presumably due to your sexual preferences-...... behind a love for TH- threw me for a bit until I realized it was an acronym for Thai homosexuals.

Don't worry Thailand's a very liberal country, you can even get a job in the cosmetic section of well known department stores.

Ah..... the cut 'n' thrust of the English language......

What a gift to the world.

[Muzarella]

At 28, Asia is a great place to live and work if you have degrree and expertise valuable for Asian companies, if not..... you will have to get a teaching position without not much hope for your future. Teaching is a wonderful work and very rewarding if you REALLY love it, but never will be a money maker if that is what you are looking for, and in ANY country.

If making money is your main intention, you ONLY will do it, in ANY country, working by yourself, taking risk and challenges. At your age, that is what can put people in the right path to sucess...A job?..never...specially if you do not like it.

[sirineou]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Not inevitable, possible maybe, but not even probable,

Plenty of Happily married Farang/Thai couples in the west, I know many, me being one.

So not inevitable

As for the rest of the OP, Many different "farangs" here , from many different backgrounds .with different personalities, please don't take your limited exposure , and apply it to all those that you have never met.

Your situation is not the only one

[Smurkster]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Not inevitable, possible maybe, but not even probable,

Plenty of Happily married Farang/Thai couples in the west, I know many, me being one.

So not inevitable

As for the rest of the OP, Many different "farangs" here , from many different backgrounds .with different personalities, please don't take your limited exposure , and apply it to all those that you have never met.

Your situation is not the only one

Good words.. though I have seen the not so good in people, I have also made some friendships that started when I first started living in Thailand/Laos that are still thriving today with both falang and natives...so thank you for reminding me of the good....

[Smurkster]

Why Laos?

What makes it better than Thailand iyo ?

I will say I'm really keen to visit Laos myself one day soon. Never heard any bad reports about the place so far.

my love for Lao is very multi faceted and personal (not in the way that I DON't want to explain exactly more like I can't). I think a lot of it for me boils down to it being a lot smaller, a lot more traditional (though that is changing) and even that much more "easy going" than LOS...

I could on and on.. but you can PM if you ever would like some ideas should you visit..

[krisb]

Why Laos?

What makes it better than Thailand iyo ?

I will say I'm really keen to visit Laos myself one day soon. Never heard any bad reports about the place so far.

my love for Lao is very multi faceted and personal (not in the way that I DON't want to explain exactly more like I can't). I think a lot of it for me boils down to it being a lot smaller, a lot more traditional (though that is changing) and even that much more "easy going" than LOS...

I could on and on.. but you can PM if you ever would like some ideas should you visit..

No need for a pm, why not start a thread? Things I like about Laos.

That way others can add to it also. Be an interesting read.

[krisb]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Not inevitable, possible maybe, but not even probable,

Plenty of Happily married Farang/Thai couples in the west, I know many, me being one.

So not inevitable

As for the rest of the OP, Many different "farangs" here , from many different backgrounds .with different personalities, please don't take your limited exposure , and apply it to all those that you have never met.

Your situation is not the only one

Good words.. though I have seen the not so good in people, I have also made some friendships that started when I first started living in Thailand/Laos that are still thriving today with both falang and natives...so thank you for reminding me of the good....

You'll meet jerks wherever you go in the world. Ignore them and move on to find the decent ones. Of the expats I know living in Thailand, all good.

[kannot]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Im not.......whats the prize? oh hang on I already won with the Wife right

[Crazy chef 1]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Not inevitable, possible maybe, but not even probable,

Plenty of Happily married Farang/Thai couples in the west, I know many, me being one.

So not inevitable

As for the rest of the OP, Many different "farangs" here , from many different backgrounds .with different personalities, please don't take your limited exposure , and apply it to all those that you have never met.

Your situation is not the only one

Good words.. though I have seen the not so good in people, I have also made some friendships that started when I first started living in Thailand/Laos that are still thriving today with both falang and natives...so thank you for reminding me of the good....

in Laos the mama noodles being cheaper-the preferred nutrition for young teachers...just the free wifi isn't available so often...

[fey]

I admit to not reading all of your ramble,,,

But will comment anyhow.

You need to realize that thailand is a magnet for people with problems, financially and especially personal and psych stuff including relationships. It's also a common first destination to run to because it's easy, safe etc. which tends to intensify this stuff when people first arrive.

Once you figure this out you can stop analyzing expats you meet there. It's simply not worth your time other then an amusing hobby.

Yes I tend to agree but "people in general" have problems, dont they, wherever they live or holiday?

This s not unique to Thailand, maybe they are just more under the microscope here and there "problems" much more apparent, especially when they post on here!

It's people who's lives have problems.

Specifically, thailand attracts those who need prostitutes because they are either not successful, young or mentally put together enough to get laid regularly in their home countries without paying for it.

You do the math.

[mogandave]

I can't speak the the rest of the world, but it seems much easier to laid in the U.S. than in Thailand.

[JLCrab]

I admit to not reading all of your ramble,,,

But will comment anyhow.

You need to realize that thailand is a magnet for people with problems, financially and especially personal and psych stuff including relationships. It's also a common first destination to run to because it's easy, safe etc. which tends to intensify this stuff when people first arrive.

Once you figure this out you can stop analyzing expats you meet there. It's simply not worth your time other then an amusing hobby.

So?

[chrisinth]

OP, would have to agree that at 28yo, as a school teacher in Thailand (or Laos) it would be a daunting task to settle in either country.

But...................

As you are already married to a Thai, I would advise that you discuss your situation with the better half otherwise, where ever you decide to settle you may end up as on of the disgruntled divorcees that you have observed, making excuses for failed relationships........................

Marriage isn't religious anymore, it is a partnership for as long as both of you are together.

[chrisinth]

Who isn't divorced?

If you get married, it's gonna happen.

(Unless one of you is lucky enough to die first)

Post again in 5 years, and you'll be telling us how she took you for everything you had in the USA, and how you wished you'd never moved back there. It's inevitable!

Always good to look on the optimistic side.

I have been married to my Thai wife for 32 years and have many farang friends both in Thailand and abroad who have been married to Thai women for well over 20 years, have families and extremely settled and happy with their lives.

You and some others like you may have been unlucky, but as a whole, men only get the women they deserve. I can assure you that what you say does not represent a great many of us.

My advice to the OP is; always use common sense, never get into things over his head, be patience and work hard for a secure and positive future.

The OP is still a very young man and seems to be trying to find a direction in his life. Wishing him and his wife prosperity for the future.

BJ, being a pup, and only being married for half the time you have been, I would agree on all your points above..............

[ExPratt]

I'm Divorced , with Medals , ( Sole custody of both my Anglo Thai kids) Been with the "Latest" Missus for 10 Years