Keeping Thai Wife away from Western Thai Riff-Raff.

[50baht]

Most if not ALL Thai restaraunts and Massage places and cleaning crews are run by Thai's that do not work to code, laws, in the Western way in Northeast USA.

Many Illegal deductions,no overtime pay, constant help the "Thai ruk Tha"i bs., don't tell Western Overlords.....you will betray Thailand.

If they tell,... they lose jobs...or are threatened with deportation because they don't know better......

I Want to keep wife out of that KRAP. But want her to have THAI FRIENDS.

#1 Big Question: is there any Thai societies, groups that embraise Western ways in USA ? That don't cheat and steal maybe 3 or fourth generation Thai Americans ?

....I know, have wife graduate HARVARD FIRST ?.... then she can do what she wants?

....

[Lukecan]

Seems you're on a mission to change Thai genetics, good luck with that. LOL

[Soutpeel]

WOW that OP is so sad on so many levels

[Tonto21]

Have to say '50Baht'........ The say; 'you can take the girl out of Thailand but you can't ta,,,,bla bla bla...you know the rest.

No disrespect, but mate your wife is her own person, contrary to, (it would seem) popular opinion not all Thai women want to screw you over at the first chance, and not all are stupid.

If you want to know where your wife is going in life........Look at her past and how you meet each other..... That should put your mind to rest.

[simple1]

OP: The scenario you outline is the same in Australia and not unique to Thais, also applies to other immigrant communities.

As you infer the key is for your partner to gain some skills for main stream employment.

Many Thai partners quickly understand the potential negatives for primarily socialising within their own community.

To gain some insight do a search on 'queen bee' on ThaiVisa

[RasiMike]

i think there are options other than your wife finding employment/friendship within a Thai group.

After a couple of attempts at working and socialising with the local Thai ladies, families and their associates in my home country, she gave up and found a new group of non-Thai friends and a very good job for a large organisation. While we both wanted Thai associates in our transition from full time Thai life, we quickly found that most Thais that we met were best kept at (a very long) arm's length. My wife worked in two roles where Thais were the bosses and both times we confronted them for not paying properly....she made the decision not to work for Thais again and held out until the opportunity arose.

Unfortunately many Thai, (any nation) immigrants carry their Thainess (home country bias) with them instead of leaving it at the boarding gate. In doing so I think they limit their potential to grow and learn anything new. Of course, much of the blame could be laid at the feet of those that accompany them on that journey to new lives/experiences.

[Soutpeel]

Have to say '50Baht'........ The say; 'you can take the girl out of Thailand but you can't ta,,,,bla bla bla...you know the rest.

No disrespect, but mate your wife is her own person, contrary to, (it would seem) popular opinion not all Thai women want to screw you over at the first chance, and not all are stupid.

If you want to know where your wife is going in life........Look at her past and how you meet each other..... That should put your mind to rest.

He could of course just chain her to the bed and she is not allowed out in public unless escorted by a male farang member of his immediate family, of course he could consider making her wear a scarf over her head and face, so the other "natives" cant see she is Thai thereby limiting possible contact that way

[Soutpeel]

Unfortunately many Thai, (any nation) immigrants carry their Thainess (home country bias) with them instead of leaving it at the boarding gate. In doing so I think they limit their potential to grow and learn anything new. Of course, much of the blame could be laid at the feet of those that accompany them on that journey to new lives/experiences.

A bit like some of the "immigrants" on TV you mean ? your statement is quite profound and applies equally in Thailand among the "resident" farangs

[RasiMike]

Unfortunately many Thai, (any nation) immigrants carry their Thainess (home country bias) with them instead of leaving it at the boarding gate. In doing so I think they limit their potential to grow and learn anything new. Of course, much of the blame could be laid at the feet of those that accompany them on that journey to new lives/experiences.

A bit like some of the "immigrants" on TV you mean ? your statement is quite profound and applies equally in Thailand among the "resident" farangs

Insert country/bias, as/where/if required.

[Aussieroaming]

Define riff raff ... Are you really so far above them?

[samuibeachcomber]

Unfortunately many Thai, (any nation) immigrants carry their Thainess (home country bias) with them instead of leaving it at the boarding gate. In doing so I think they limit their potential to grow and learn anything new. Of course, much of the blame could be laid at the feet of those that accompany them on that journey to new lives/experiences.

A bit like some of the "immigrants" on TV you mean ? your statement is quite profound and applies equally in Thailand among the "resident" farangs

very true southpeel,however do i really want to become thai?...no of course not,am not into going backwards,but i do respect their belief's and culture,but i dont want to join it!

[Soutpeel]

Define riff raff ... Are you really so far above them?

what he is, is irrelevant in reality, its more of a case of what he believes he is

One suspects, the white trailer trash in the US, see themselves far above "immigrant natives"

but to others White trailer trash is just that riff raff...

As I said in my post...this OP is sad on so many levels

[i claudius]

When my wife came to the UK she mixed with the same sort of people she did in Thailand,why would it change in the UK,?

[weegee]

Define riff raff ... Are you really so far above them?

You dont have to be too high to be above a snakes belly....

[Soutpeel]

Unfortunately many Thai, (any nation) immigrants carry their Thainess (home country bias) with them instead of leaving it at the boarding gate. In doing so I think they limit their potential to grow and learn anything new. Of course, much of the blame could be laid at the feet of those that accompany them on that journey to new lives/experiences.

A bit like some of the "immigrants" on TV you mean ? your statement is quite profound and applies equally in Thailand among the "resident" farangs

very true southpeel,however do i really want to become thai?...no of course not,am not into going backwards,but i do respect their belief's and culture,but i dont want to join it!

I personally don't, been here for a good few years and still a long way off being at one with my Thainess, just cant see myself in a Chang wife beater, big Buddha medallion, walking shorts and white socks with my sandal's, I really have no wish to "intergrate", but that doesn't mean I don't respect the culture and belief

[peptidebomber]

Embrace Western USA ways??

Does that include buying a gun and going on a shooting spree??

[Berkshire]

I worked with a Thai-American guy awhile back when I was living in the USA. A really good guy, proud of his Thai heritage. But he was probably more American than Thai. Well educated, married to a Chinese-American woman, great job, and well assimilated into American society. He said his Thai family didn't really mingle much with other Thais, mostly because there weren't many Thais where he lived. But he would have no problem associating with other Thais if given the opportunity...except for one particular demographic. He said the Thai women that American guys brought over were more often than not, a little suspect. These were the ones most likely to gossip day and night, obsessed with comparing the wealth of their farang husbands with other Thai women's hubby, if not outright cheat on their spouses. So OP, that would be the advice of one particular dude in the know.

[chrisandsu]

That's pretty much how it goes Berkshire . My wife came here 15 years ago for university , she has very few Thai friends ,2 at the most . She's from a middle class family so the only link she had to most Thais here was either ex bar girls or the super privalidged !! Both are a pain in the butt so needless to say she had very few Thai friends which I must say I'm happy about ! The further you keep them away from eachother the easy it is to assimilate and in the long run for your relationship it will be for the better .

[rgs2001uk]

The bottom line, it all starts in the selction process.

My mrs was vilified because she didnt want to spent all day playing cards and drinking whisky, she was even called a snob.

She couldnt believe what some farang had chosen as partners.

She said to me, I wouldnt associate with them in Thailand, why should I mingle with them here.

A Thai woman once said to me, only a low man would chose a low woman as his partner.

Another once said, we know what she is, why does she need to advetise it?

Cant be bothered typing any more, it would only be deleted.

[Thongkorn]

We have a few Thai women near Us, In the Uk, unfortunately, or fortunately, they gravitate towards each other, Its the luck of the Draw, we are lucky because all are good women , We take it in turns to host eating parties for them, As you probably know thai women never stop eating. None play cards , most are social drinkers and none are gamblers, they left there bad habits, if they had any behind, when they started a new life, hopefully your lady will have common sense and do like wise, dont over estimate them or underestimate them , they are not fools just stand back and let them sort it dont try and pick friends for her,

[Rocketsurgeon]

OK, so initial post not well written which feeds a stereotype of msil order bride husbands. He does have a point.

I also am concerned about the Thai we will bump into if we go back. Unlike the guys that find tbeir love on the Internets or some dicey business while on holiday #2, I have lots of time invested here snd in our relationship as well.

My wife is fully open to and I would encourage her to seek employment outside Thai businesses. She has the English skills, a restaurant is ok for a start but plenty of other better places also.

Thai temple may be source of good and ill. No idea how that might play out. Th

The immigrant experience is often plagued with ostentatiousness, bluster, exploitation, jealousy, bravado and false appearances.

Woe to a person like me who lived in Thailand, found a mate and brought her back "home'. The mail order bride with her car, gold, nice home and husband who has not a clue about her amd her culture will scorn us and will try to put all sorts of crap in the wifes head.

I've seen a bit of it here. Prostitutes and Internet lovers hook into guys and they holiday in "our" national park. The stories are non stop in the wifes ear - how the patsy is going to buy her a ............ of course, we smile unsure of who is using whom at that point but it is this poison the op discusses.

Returning to US, wife has lots of decent distant friends and friends of friends that Id be open to meeting, having social relationships with. My hunch is you need to stay clear of the bad elements which def incls Philipinas and Vietnamese.

My wife speaks decent English, university and will do exceedingly well in jobs for 9 bucks an hour to start. She need not some crap Chinese Thai to work her like a dog. Besides, being legal imo changes everything. Hope yours is same.

I see the best defense for such bs is ability to transcend the Thai ghetto so to speak. To have ability to function outside a circle of small, petty, self serving, ugly people.

My wife has already visited 13 states, well traveled intlly.

She is of solid character, if I thought shed buckle under the bs Id never go back.

One thing she has in me over the mailorder dudes is that I've bern here so very long. I know her customs, culture and csn accommodate that in our relationship. We eat together, share everything, she knoed my family well and I hers.

The bad apples often don't care, do as they please. They ate on a mission to get as much money and get out asap.

But if your eating habits, food, holidays, goals in life, activities, etc... are not in sync. If the marriage is all about what you are giving her, not much of a marrriage then eh? My cousin milfy trophy wife married some old fat guy. Its ridiculous.

I'm 15 yrs older but try and stay slim. We are active and share a lifestyle. If thays not you, you've already got problems.

For myself, Id never mail order Thai bride. Id pack my kit as soon as I could and move to Japan.

PS never ever ever get involved with Asian woman who gambles. Its a sign of low class behavior and will be ruinous to your marriage somehow. Guaranteed

[Saastrajaa]

If someone is a thug, they will find and hang out with other thugs from their country, wherever they may be in the world. This cannot be changed or controlled. This fact is exactly where Pattaya is full of Brit, Dutch, Arab, Nigerian, Russian, etc. gangs.

[Thongkorn]

These threads make me laugh , Sex tourists goes to the biggest brothel in one of the most corrupt Countries in the world, Finds a woman, and wants to take her home and keep them away from big bad people in their own Country, Look up the word trust on google.

[Beetlejuice]

I met my Thai wife in the United States over 32 years ago. She was a rep for a then well known Thai cosmetics company that she gave up after we were married.

It seems that the OP does not trust the loyalties and good judgements of his Thai wife, perhaps concerned that she will be led astray. My wife met many of her Thai friends abroad at the Thai Temples, both in the States and in London. Although I had a good career and earning big bucks at the time, my wife still wanted some independence and took a part time waitress job at a Thai restaurant so she could earn a bit of money for herself and also for the companionship of other Thai people. In fact 3 of her Thai friends she met at the Thai Temple at Wimbledon in London recommended her the job and worked with her.

No worries, because she was not the type to be irresponsible and also very choosy with who she associated with. Most of her Thai friends were married to farangs and we all became friends as married couples mostly on the same levels. In fact letting my Thai wife do her own thing became beneficial, because we met and made some great lifelong friends and even becoming god parents to their children and vice versa.

My point being that one has to let go and cannot completely lay down ground rules and restrictions on their married partners. If the OP has doubts about his wife not being 100% trust worthy, then he shouldn`t be married and as the wise man says; men only get the women they deserve.

[JakeSully]

Only 2 things you can do..

1. support her without her needing to work (she won't need to be "friends" with everyone, will prefer the "friends on facebook").

2. If you're convinced she's listening to others.. make a will, that she doesn't get a dime incase something happens to you...

Assuming you were smart enough to get the prenup made in the first place!..

[NickJ]

I knew a guy who's Thai wife could not wait to go back to the States with him. He took her once....it was the dead of the mid-western winter. She never wanted to go back.

I feel sorry for the guys that battle to get the wife over to live. Spend months dealing with all the hassles. Then learn that you have a very real chance of losing her because of her getting invovled with all the thai-vultures that play the face game.

Happens unless you can foot the bill and keep up with Jones/Somchais

[Tai777]

Maybe keep her away from the west completely.

Uneducated people get influenced by others easily.

[slipperylobster]

Not all women that farangs meet in Thailand are hookers.

I bet his wife was legit..and he wants to keep her that way.

Unfortunately, his wife will be in the minority.

good luck. It is the guys with hooker wives that are going to suffer...they do not assimilate well, and may tend to flock to their own familiar territority...when in country.

[ttthailand]

My Thai gf (sweet girl who works good job and going to university) and I went to meet a good friend of mine who was on holiday from England. He had hooked up on his last visit with a bar girl in Pattaya and had found the same one again. The 4 of us went out for an evening and afterwards my gf told me that his bar girl friend was real sh1t. The hooker was asking my gf how much I gave her and when she said nothing the hooker was saying she should find new guy. Also was bragging about banging three guys in one night at bar and being able to make 100,000 baht a month. That was the first time my gf had encounter a real hooker and said she never wanted to meet one again. This girl acted real sweet and spoke nice but was a real back stabber and liar. She even asked my gf if she wanted to work at her bar... Crazy !

These bar girls try to bring others down to their level every chance they get. Thai trash !

Never take your gf anywhere where she can not avoid low class Thai girls. Stay within your own class of people and let the bar girls hang with the bar girls.

[huawei]

If you fear someone mixing with a certain group, almost certainly they came from that group originally, otherwise why be worried....also so many seem to have no employment skills yet they are too good to mix with what are perceived to be "lower" types, the mind boggles really..