Persevere or run?

[smotherb]

I heard some good advice for you. If indeed you are giving her no money, do not get her pregnant, and ride the ride--if you wish. However, if you are looking for a real relationship, find a women with less baggage--kids, exes, and sponsors; whew, you know that cannot end well.

[Kannikapor88]

Many of these thai women have more stories than a Nigerian business-man (con-artist) - get the he11 out of there ...

[tassieman]

Again to all...many thanks...I have got the drift BIGTIME...I would like to mull it all over because I had a whole set of hopes etc based on this relationship and, yes, even a new baby and setting up a life either here in Australia or in Thailand. So, wondering pls how to close a thread? MP

[BigSkip]

You really can't be serious, after 2 wives???????? Don't walk, Run, Run fast.......... and don't look back, avoid the rush, I guess it always easier to see when you are not involed.

p.s. You just did close it, a big thanks is always appreciated

[CapeThai]

Fishy as hell

As others have said...don't give any money and just go along for the ride

Keep your eyes open..the full picture will start to form

They are unable to keep a lie going for ever...she will start giving away the facts along the way.

Also

If she is really rich...she would have been picked by thais long time ago...thai men are as mercenary as women

That means

1.She is not rich

2.She is out to defraud gullible farangs

Overall...proceed with caution..or even better...abort!

So there you have it, follow this advice as this OP's advise is as close and accurate as your conna get. Abort my friend, she's playing you and also quite clever at doing so..

[Guitar God]

The Mr. Max part I would look into further and I understand your feeling of some things not adding up but here are my comments:

She has not asked for any money and you haven't given her any.

She knows you're not loaded with cash.

She's mentioned that she owns land, property and saved some money ( the last bit I find hard to believe knowing Thai women).

She gets a paltry 5000฿ a month in widow's benefits.

My question is, if she is trying to scam you, what's in it for her?

If she out for money, why not go after some rich, western walking-ATM. Or ask you for a few baht for a dress or something?

My advice, spend a few days in close proximity with her. Rent a nice one room resort or hotel and stick within earshot and listen to her phone conversations. If you want proof about something, pick something relevant and give her a good reason. No good reason I could think why you'd need to see a chanote for land she bought before you met that will never be 1% yours even if you married her. Not worth the trouble asking why she gets 90 quid a month. If you have the name of her ex, for $25 you can do a records search and see if he's really dead. Don't bother with Thai PI's or lawyers, they're all vampires.

PM me for technical details on doing your own snooping.

[nidieunimaitre]

All I can say a very long story and was not going to finish it but I did and if I were you I would run run like in the movie foster gum you are 54 years old I think why would you want a 40 year old thai lady who has had a baby with a western man before , can you not read in to it she is a lier so run not as if you can't get a new one I have a very good looking thai lady sitting next to me here in Australia now and no bullshit she is 24 years old and I like her but I think with my big head not my little head , hop you work it out and the best of luck and I am older then you cheers

Dear george you say that you think with your big head not your little head that might be true but your big head is not very good at punctuation and should perhaps seek some help from your little head and also foster gum is not a movie foster's is a beer in a blue can and gum is a tree I believe and victoria bitter is also a beer but in a red can

[Kannikapor88]

Get out before she gets pregnant. This country has plenty of women, take another one.

with her "Brother" ...

[tonray]

"My GF and I have met up 3 times twice in Thailand and once in KL"

3 meetings and all this after only 3 meetings ? Seriously mate....you need to get out more

[manarak]

OP, I read everything.

In short: run !

[tassieman]

Hello BigSkip...not sure of protocol

>p.s. You just did close it, a big thanks is always appreciated

But yes BIG thanks to everyone...tbh, it hasn't been all that easy taking on board all the comments but I wrote in expecting as much in-your-face replies and the other cynical stuff also. Look, two weeks ago I was taken for one of the most incredible rides of my life through Isaan territory with my GF. For a week I got to see some beautiful (albeit parched countryside), drank a bit of the cheap brandy, met Mum and the boy, the Auntie and saw the village and even the older home in another village and was taken up into the hills to where the rubber plantation was supposedly and even where Dad was living there as a monk and my GF had built a Family 'temple' and just paid 20K baht merit for solar power etc etc.

It's a pretty compelling story and YES I have/had fallen for it. For me it's been all the little inconsistencies that have niggled away...I am basically a country guy and farmers are farmers anywhere...the fact that my GF didn't know the landholder on the adjacent plot (who we encountered on the access road) enroute to her holding, her supposed plantation, seemed really strange to me. Country folk know each other well in any part of the world as neighbours.

So, it's all been about trying to join the dots. I think I have done that. BIG thanks again and happy for no more good advice now....it's starting to hurt MP

[faraday]

"My GF and I have met up 3 times twice in Thailand and once in KL"

3 meetings and all this after only 3 meetings ? Seriously mate....you need to get out more

Hmmm I didn't take that on board; & the OP teaches Pro Writing.

I suspect very strongly, that this is all part of a book he's writing, & he needs some ideas.

Nobody could be so gullible & have such a detailed story, after spending so little time with her.

[KIWIBATCH]

Run...brother...run......

[tassieman]

Hi faraday....leally (sic):

V interesting The paranoia deepens:

This Is something my GF wrote this afternoon to me on our Skype chat:

"You come to my life because you want to writing story maybe I think"

now you write this,

"Hmmm I didn't take that on board; & the OP teaches Pro Writing.

I suspect very strongly, that this is all part of a book he's writing, & he needs some ideas.

Nobody could be so gullible & have such a detailed story, after spending so little time with her."

I fell in love with Ms. Y. Don't quite know what to say. We have been in touch since late-2013. I wanted to meet her then (Dec 2013) but she said her grandmum had passed away...I felt reservations also because I was in a pretty unstable state of mind and so I actively urged her to find someone younger because I detected that having a baby was a priority for her and I was over that etc etc. We started communicating again in later 2014 and we met up in Dec 2014 and in KL in March/April 2015 and then again last month.

The "story" is happening as I tell it and all I came to TV for was to try and get some more experienced POVs on the situation. I've had enough to bring reality home.I was thinking about a new life in Thailand where my super and some teaching might make for a post-work life option. I am not writing a book on this because, my friend, three weeks ago, I was hustling through the streets of BKK to a hotel to try and keep mind together.

anyway, I have had a bit too much of the red tonight and starting to lose it...thank you anyway. MP

[aboctok]

Don't give her any money, don't believe anything she says, use her house in BK, avoid rural areas, enjoy the ride.

When you're 50+ it's the only sensible way to treat women.

PS. If I were playing the game, it would be with someone in her 30s.

Avoid rural areas. lol

[SGX]

Sounds complicated . I would run . get out while you still can , forget getting her pregnant , maybe she already pregnant.

How do you know your not 1 of 10 western guys servicing her and the property is not from another sucker.

Its cheaper get a sexy young girl and pay her to leave.

Check her knees when you see her..

[1FinickyOne]

Couldn't read it all but did not see where the "up" side is… I think if you have to ask, then forget it. More than plenty of red flags..

[ba ba]

have a look at the kid if there is no falang in him run,have a little play not to long then , run anyhow matie

[slipperylobster]

As the doctor once told me, when I complained about my arm hurting every time I lifted it up.

"If it does not feel good...then don't do that."

You are on one end of the line, and that woman is holding the fishing pole.

I know tons of women in Udon...and most of them have tens of Rai. Land was given to them by parents 20 years ago....when it cost almost nothing. Trouble is...all those land owners have long since mortgaged the property. On top of that.......they are in deep kimchi with Loan Sharks. It goes on and on. All the women I know have several men online...but love only young thai men. Its for business.

[ToS2014]

Remember what Forest Gump said? "I just felt like running". Perhaps you should feel the same. Many, many, many more fish in the sea of smiles that are perhaps not as slippery.

[faraday]

Ok Tassie....no Paranoia here mate.

But you have a low post count & there are trolls everywhere & so (it seems) I made an incorrect presumption, about your situation.

She does seem to be a bit dodgy, & what she says is over complicated. Be careful.

As for the Max guy....alarm bells are ringing, & deep down I think you do know he's a wrong 'un.

If you do break with her, then change all your passwords, & make sure you exit from her on good terms.

There are plenty of decent, kind & trustworthy ladies in thailand.

Good luck.

[arunsakda]

I think an important point to remember is it is better to not do anything in Thailand you wouldn't do in your own country. When I was younger I could not give a rip but I was lucky. Others not so lucky Asked a guy once If you was back in Scunthorpe would you cruise West Street and pick up a random slag? Oh, no. No, absolutely, that would be, well those ones are on drugs and all that...

Then you come to Thailand and immediately shack up with the lowest of the low type of Issan whores. Trust her just because they speak English. She wants a house, or an investment in a business? Are you freaking mental? Do you know how stupid that sounds?

[SGX]

.....FURY: WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME!!!!???? I CAN'T BE WITH A MAN WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME!!!!

Says it all. It won't get better if you get married.

IMO, whether you stay together or not, do NOT get married, and why the frack did you agree to have a baby with someone you barely know? If she is pregnant you'd better hope for a miscarriage, or at the least have a paternity test.

If you do stay together, be prepared to leave when the demands for money start or you'll, IMO, be a pauper before you know it.

Unfortunately you are far from the only farang to let his little head lead him.

In the psycho world of wisdom . The term WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME!!!!???? I CAN'T BE WITH A MAN WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME!!!!

This is echoed in reverse meaning " You shouldn't trust me as I cannot be trusted to be with just 1 person."

When they refer to Trust. This often means they are already guilty .

[joshstiles]

yeah go for it

absolutely stupid story with i hope an even more stupid ending

stupid gets what stupid does

yeah TVF...YOUR BEST PLACE FOR ALL SERIOUS ADVICE

[KhunSteven]

Run.

[Foxter]

The truth is, there are a lot of unanswered questions, which, are easy to answer.

Why is she not answering them? Its easy enough to show you a marriage certificate, to see a death certificate. £90 a week, does not seem right, see a link as to the UK pension rates, (http://www.which.co.uk/money/retirement/guides/state-pension-explained/widows-pension-and-bereavement-allowance/ )

If you gut is saying there is something wrong, go with your gut, if she refuses or declines to answer your , reasonable;e and simple requests, well, how can you start a relationship with someone who hides things from you, goodness know what else she hides from you. Blowing her top, when you ask pointed questions, is also a huge warning sign.

It's not worth it Tassieman, it makes no difference how much she says she owns, its what you see with your eyes and hear with your ears. She has other mens clothes there, chances are there is another man, she says she has money, but the house is not fully furnished. Proof is needed, and you have the proof in what she does not say.

My advice, say thank you, and go, find someone who you trust, and are not worried about, if you have so many questions, and she will not answer, and you have to resort to asking on the forum, well , you already know what you have to do, and the replies have confirmed that.

You have worked hard for your money and for your future, live it with someone how cares for you, not your cash.

I am getting married to a Thai lady, and asked her to sign a prenuptual, she said yes without a bat of an eyelid.

Good luck

[Foxter]

Trust is earned, she has done nothing to earn your trust.

If anything she has earned your suspicion, I doubt she would be as understanding if she came to your house and saw womens clothes in your wardrobe.

.....FURY: WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME!!!!???? I CAN'T BE WITH A MAN WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME!!!!

Says it all. It won't get better if you get married.

IMO, whether you stay together or not, do NOT get married, and why the frack did you agree to have a baby with someone you barely know? If she is pregnant you'd better hope for a miscarriage, or at the least have a paternity test.

If you do stay together, be prepared to leave when the demands for money start or you'll, IMO, be a pauper before you know it.

Unfortunately you are far from the only farang to let his little head lead him.

In the psycho world of wisdom . The term WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME!!!!???? I CAN'T BE WITH A MAN WHO DOESN'T TRUST ME!!!!

This is echoed in reverse meaning " You shouldn't trust me as I cannot be trusted to be with just 1 person."

When they refer to Trust. This often means they are already guilty .

[Foxter]

Spot On, Great advice

Ok Tassie....no Paranoia here mate.

But you have a low post count & there are trolls everywhere & so (it seems) I made an incorrect presumption, about your situation.

She does seem to be a bit dodgy, & what she says is over complicated. Be careful.

As for the Max guy....alarm bells are ringing, & deep down I think you do know he's a wrong 'un.

If you do break with her, then change all your passwords, & make sure you exit from her on good terms.

There are plenty of decent, kind & trustworthy ladies in thailand.

Good luck.

[Kondiao]

Run Away as fast as you can!

This was the only real response to the OP.

I have been in a couple weird relationships with women in Thailand, and before that here in the States, and in my experience they don't work them selves out - - love does not conquer all, things don't become clear....

What is the attraction? the hold that she has on you that is making you think about staying with the plan, despite everything? Is it your sense of loyalty? You are too old and wise already to go down for that. Is it a fascination with figuring out what the hell is really going on; of getting things sorted out and making everything right??

That will never happen. You are wandering in a minefield in a fog. It is not going to get clear. Go back to the place where you turned off from your life into hers. You must not be in her space again, not talk to her. Go to Australia, go to Pattaya, somewhere, change your passwords, get a new cell phone with new number.

[PHP87]

Run like a scalded Soi Dog.

If you want some closure and some answers, hire a PI but only if you can find one that won't rip you off. Most will.

Get out before you are tied to this woman forever if she has your child.

Lot of nice, honest Thai girls in Thailand.

Same in the Phils.

It doesn't sound like she is one of them.

Also, take a good look in the mirror as it sounds like you need to do some self-examination of why you have failed at 2 marriages and were ready, willing and able to so easily set yourself up for #3.

Sorry if I'm being brutally honest, but sometimes we all need to hear it from a 3rd party perspective or just look at it with a different set of eyes.

Good Luck.