Where exactly do we stand in the Thai social scale - Buffalo

[kannot]

You got married on holiday?

Nah, 12 months after we first met. I was attracted to her moustache and hairy legs, shes had them both removed now...............I may have to seek a divorce as she keeps falling over

[konying]

I think you are. Aren't you the guy who don't like hookers? That is surly a product of being young and PC or some cult thing from your upbringing. I think you are brainwashed and that strikes me as forced.

Thailand unbrainwashes most men in a few years so stick around you may get your free will back.

My apologies if I got the wrong guy and you do like hookers like a normal male in Thailand and fit quite well into the social scheme of things here.

I've been here 7 years and I haven't been "unbrainwashed".

Look, I'm not getting into a big debate about prostitution - it's been done to death but suffice it to say that I can get tail without having to pay for it; so that's what I do.

Ok?

OK with me. How do you get them to leave? I have to pay them. You must have another secret.

I let dogs inside the house. Takes less than 1 min,

[lostoday]

I think you are. Aren't you the guy who don't like hookers? That is surly a product of being young and PC or some cult thing from your upbringing. I think you are brainwashed and that strikes me as forced.

Thailand unbrainwashes most men in a few years so stick around you may get your free will back.

My apologies if I got the wrong guy and you do like hookers like a normal male in Thailand and fit quite well into the social scheme of things here.

I've been here 7 years and I haven't been "unbrainwashed".

Look, I'm not getting into a big debate about prostitution - it's been done to death but suffice it to say that I can get tail without having to pay for it; so that's what I do.

Ok?

OK with me. How do you get them to leave? I have to pay them. You must have another secret.

I let dogs inside the house. Takes less than 1 min,

You have not this lady, I Just looked closer at the photo and I deleted it. But you can google , "cypress hill dogs thaivisa."

Edited July 26, 2015 by lostoday

[Neeranam]

I do wonder why with so many of you obviously dis-liking the people and country so much, why you are still here?

My Wife lives here I like my Wife, I dont like Thai people in general ,I dont like Thai culture at all ,I dont like Thai religion or any for that matter, I do like Thai countryside when its not full of the crap they throw everywhere.

hey Im being honest

So should I go home as i dont like the people/culture but do like the countryside?

Maybe if you did not have such a negative attitude, you would earn the respect of the people around you and your life would be better, or maybe just take your wife back to your country, or do you not like their either?

Yes, attitude is everything.

Why don't you like Thai people, apart from your wife?

[kannot]

I do wonder why with so many of you obviously dis-liking the people and country so much, why you are still here?

My Wife lives here I like my Wife, I dont like Thai people in general ,I dont like Thai culture at all ,I dont like Thai religion or any for that matter, I do like Thai countryside when its not full of the crap they throw everywhere.

hey Im being honest

So should I go home as i dont like the people/culture but do like the countryside?

Maybe if you did not have such a negative attitude, you would earn the respect of the people around you and your life would be better, or maybe just take your wife back to your country, or do you not like their either?

Yes, attitude is everything.

Why don't you like Thai people, apart from your wife?

Im Not t hat keen on her but she is hard working and honest, My dealings with them have for the most part not been good, but if you like you can tell me its my negative attitude that caused all this, when the motorcycle drove into me and then told the insurance guy my car was already damaged it was my negativity which caused him to say that, and after 1 hour he admitted he did it and it was just his bad luck that we stood our ground and argued not that he could just apologise and I would have let it go completely, when we bought some land and the neighbour decided to steal 5 rai with the estate agent in cahoots it was my negativity, after buying, the same neighbour then claimed the road on our land was his until we showed him the paperwork from the old owner ( too ill to attend) stating it was our road this involved the head of the village and a four hour meeting, the several builders i have had who ran away the last one decided he could go fishing in my lake as my fish which I gave them for free the day before now became his personal fishery ( down to my negativitiy) the last one kept saying he was coming soon for about 6 months to finish off the 1km of road after this did all construction myself, the neighbour who claimed I ran over his dog even though I hadnt been out all day ( cctv showed this) and that it was definitely me as " I drive too fast" later the story changed from a black car ( mine) to it was a white car after my wife had told him to not cause us problems, the same neighbour whom we obliged when he asked us to not let the neighbour who stole the land use our road as he had no access to his own land except thru ours he had also had land stolen by that guy but late when we asked him if he could water our trees for one day said "busy" ie all take no give.

The other neighbour who asked us for help when the land stealing neighbour accused him of illegally cutting down his trees, this involved half a day speaking with our lawyers and then taking the neighbour to the police station to tell the police the law and after this all was dropped, he too couldnt water our trees for one day.

The time Robinsons lost a bag they had been given to fix which had sentimental value and they didnt do anything for 6 months include returning calls and finally offered my Wife 1000 baht to spend in their store on a few ( crappy) selected bags, Thats just the stuff i can remember off the top of my head. Most just waste time and arent serious but one day who knows?

Now have I met some decent Thais?????????? yes 3-4 including my Wife in 9 years, probably my negativity. My view 7-10 are tosssers ie 70% are being supported by the 30% of decent Thais.

Many I find are lazy.selfish, careless etc Thats what i see.

Ok so maybe you think Im some sort ( hey maybe you dont think you know) of git, but then theres the time when the village water kept going off, i went to the head of the village and said how much is a new water pump..... 40k he said, ok ill pay right now so everyone can have water all the time...........no cant do that have to ask the villagers, have to vote, turns out they dont care about the water they want a new road BUT only up to their own house, the fact the roads that are down have more holes than road doesnt bother them..self self self thats what I see. Anyway it would take at least two months to decide about this water pump so I said forget it, drilled myself two deep water wells 85 metres deep end of problem.

I bought tarmac and filled most of the holes myself after watching one of the local girls crash off her bike on the corner of the road and picking her up and her bloody legs.

Dont mention family, I have little to do with them, the only words I heard was "how much money he got", Wife has one Sister and Brother who are ok the rest are vile, even to each other and theres 10 of them.

Apart from that, nothing really.

Im not really a "people person"

[Jimbolai]

I wince at how Westerners fail to anticipate the likelihood of situations like this developing when they decide to buy into a local family in return for shagging one of the younger female members.

The OP's not a buffalo; more of a cash cow

Sorry, but being a farang doesn't guarantee respect anymore and it never should have in the first place

Since the locals got internet and social media - a hell of a lot more of them know exactly what old Western men marrying younger women are all about . . . thank God

Last time I checked, Asian men do the same.

If they have any real money they will have a wife, concubine, their daughters age. They know how to keep control of the money though and that is what respect is all about.

Falang has to be simile to 'legally' marry a young girl and expect respect.

5555555 all emoticons apply to that senile Falang

no no no I am not bozo!

[MauiSteveBKK]

Thai people have no "social manners" compared to USA and other EU countries.

This is the single, hardest thing for me to learn and understand.

Now on Maui with my Thai wife of 4 months via a K1 VISA, I have had to teach her to be social.

I've taught her to say:

Please

Thank You.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to see you again.

How are you today?

Have a nice day.

Shake hands

Hug close friends.

ETC.

Virtually everything.

We spend months in Thailand, and I've slowly taught her family to be more "social".

Hug. Say "Hello".

It does not come natural to Thai.

I believe.

Lower your Expectation Bar.

Teach them to be social to some of your standards.

Enjoy Thai social standards and stay inside.

Enjoy Thailand.

[Shiver]

I've had different experiences. Though I'm single now, the last gf told me how her family used to give her lots of ear ache telling her to take care of me better as I'd been there for them. They were always very polite and it was the girl who failed and she knew it. I couldn't ask for better people (family side), and was never treated like a buffalo. Other experiences with other families weren't as good, but I prefer to refer to the better ones.

Edited July 26, 2015 by Shiver

[rocketboybkk]

My immediate family drove up to our house: younger sister, her oldest daughter, and her youngest son.

My wife says, "Come out and say hello."

So I come out, walk up to them, look at each of them in the eye: No one will even make eye contact with me. The youngest son yammers with himself; The oldest daughter won't even look in my direction, too busy picking buger out of her nose; and my wife and her sister are too busily engaged in "CONVERSATION" to even notice that I'm standing two feet from them attempting to say hello and acknowledge their visit.

I stand, I stand, I'm ignored. And then internally I finally say, "<deleted> it!" Also I'm thinking two things:

Number 1. Is this just because I'm a farang, an outsider, someone with status in Thailand between a Cow and Dog; or us this

Number 2. Thai culture degenerating to the point where younger people no longer respect elders.

Now. In my own view, I probably have the status of a Buffalo, which is ironic because I believe that the Thai Buffalo is one of the most important animals in Thailand, and probably one most worthy of immense respect. The average Thai will never understand that: just a f**king Buffalo.

I'm tired of the disrespect. I'm tired of being treated like a farm animal.

For my American and other "Farang" friends, Thai immigration now has moved to a smaller office. Folks who are 60,70, 80 or older are forced to stand outside in the sun. Right now, today, we had a nice balmy 82. Six weeks ago it was in the 100s. And we are suppose to stand outside, very few chairs are provided, and from a Thai forum that I subscribe to, the comment was made that after the foreigner were pushed outside, the smell was much better inside the office. That's what we deal with.

I personally believe that most consider me to be simply on the same status of Buffalo. I have supported my family with an income in excess of multiples of what Thais make, and I've spent a majority of my retirement funds taking care of my family.

And what is my equal here in Prateat Thai? A water buffalo. If you think I'm kidding, at the new Chiang Mai immigration offices, foreigners are forced outside to sit along side a corral of sheep and goats. Yep! That's the respect we have here in Thailand. Anyone who thinks I'm kidding just go the the Chiang Mai forum on this issue. NancyL did a wonderful job outlining the facts.

And I'm not sure how much longer I want to put up with this, Buffalo Kee. My wife knows this too.

Oh, don't think I speak, read and write Thai. All this went out to my family in written Thai tonight. This last week in the country has pissed me off beyond repair.

And I won't even respond to comments. Most of you people don't have a clue.

They don't give a monkeys about you

You now know this

Live with your wife & give nothing to her family

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[KOZMO]

All the shizer that you clever dicks rant on about are irrlelevent to the OP He is calling it as he sees it doesn't

matter if he is a victim or not

He is whinging and ranting cos the natives will not kow tow down to him thats all

Get used to it!!! An old man comes from america, europe etc. and marries or lives with a young thing. All she wants is to show how big a house she has a and the pick-up bought for her father.

You don't actually believe she loves you, do you??? She loves your wallet because it gives her status in whatever village or town she lives. Try picking a girl with an education and not a whore!!!!

I have been happily married to a Thai girl for 42 years. She did not come from a bar and as soon as we got to America she worked!! I was in the military and she worked more than me. when i retired

she kept on working till she developed Parkinsons at age 62. I have two sons who are Air Force Pilots. No matter where i was stationed she worked at least 5 days a week or sometimes 6 days. Now she is

sick and i will care for her forever. i will not drop her back off in Thailand and find a sweet young thing because now, the girls have no morals or ethics. also i still love my wife and will not forget all she has done for me!!!

i was lucky to find her!! GOOD LUCK NOW!!!

[sfbandung]

My wife's family are so respectful to me it is embarrassing. I provide for my wife and son of course but her parents have the farm and can take care of themselves very well. We have a Mu 7 that sits in the garage when we are away, which is most of the time as I live and work elsewhere. The old man won't drive it. When I tell my wife it would be better if someone actually used it, she says, "Dad said it isn't his car". Most Thais I know are very proud, there is the odd leech of course, but by and large they seem to like to fend for themselves.

As for the OP, things don't tend to change overnight. Things must have been like this for some time and if that is how it is I wouldn't tolerate it for one second. If that happened I'd tell my wife to make sure they never come back again. In fact she wouldn't tolerate it either. Tell them to get their act together or bugger off.

[lostoday]

Thai people have no "social manners" compared to USA and other EU countries.

This is the single, hardest thing for me to learn and understand.

Now on Maui with my Thai wife of 4 months via a K1 VISA, I have had to teach her to be social.

I've taught her to say:

Please

Thank You.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to see you again.

How are you today?

Have a nice day.

Shake hands

Hug close friends.

ETC.

Virtually everything.

We spend months in Thailand, and I've slowly taught her family to be more "social".

Hug. Say "Hello".

It does not come natural to Thai.

I believe.

Lower your Expectation Bar.

Teach them to be social to some of your standards.

Enjoy Thai social standards and stay inside.

Enjoy Thailand.

You should really say the Thai people you know. Because my wife and all of her family are genuine nice people who are nothing like you describe. Let me guess...... You didn't spend 10 years in Thailand nor speak Thai before courting and finding a wife.....

[nontabury]

Not all like living like backpackers

Yes but everyone has a choice as to how deep they allow those roots to run.

There's renting a condo and there's building a house on land bought in a woman's name

There's just having a casual girlfriend and there's getting married, breeding and pumping money into an extended family

No one's forced to do anything against their will

I think you are. Aren't you the guy who don't like hookers? That is surly a product of being young and PC or some cult thing from your upbringing. I think you are brainwashed and that strikes me as forced.

Thailand unbrainwashes most men in a few years so stick around you may get your free will back.

I'm not interested in 'hookers', either. Nothing to do with age, being 'pc', or my upbringing. I just prefer sex with a partner who finds me attractive and sleeps with me by choice.

So! You live alone with your hand.

[samuibeachcomber]

I suspect it is a combination of you and the family you married into.

I think so too.I never have experienced this,only respect.

[lostoday]

I'm not interested in 'hookers', either. Nothing to do with age, being 'pc', or my upbringing. I just prefer sex with a partner who finds me attractive and sleeps with me by choice.

So! You live alone with your hand.

Mr. Biker I don't think you live alone nor do I think you live with a women. Which is cool and nothing wrong with that but it kind of throws a wrench into these discussions as the two sexes are different. I think that's not too big a leap for most people to admit - men are different from women.

[GlutinousMaximus]

In response to the OP's wailing and gnashing of teeth - I hear you! In no particular order, here are my thoughts:

Re your young 'disrespectful' relatives, try engaging with any person under 25 in farangland & getting more than a monosyllabic answer out of them.

Passivity is super-prevalent here. It's a low-risk approach to any kind of interaction because if you say and do nothing, little harm can befall you.There was another topic a while back where the OP was bemoaning the lack of conversation in Thailand - i.e. how hard it was to get one going (with Thais). That's been my experience too. Sure you can exchange a few pleasantries and a bit of light chit-chat, but beyond that forget about it (plus the language barrier doesn't help). No-one (in my experience) initiates an ongoing chat and if they do, any conversational gambits are pretty tired - e.g. 'can you eat spicy food?' I also don't see much of the easy-going socialising that you get in farangland where it's no big deal to chat to people at a barbecue or a party or wherever & you might even become casual friends with them. There's just generally a lot more social mixing going on (it seems to me) back home.Thais appear to keep more to their own small social and family groups. They have a saying here: "the more people you know, the more problems you'll have" - how very true!

A lot of the locals have lived quite sheltered lives with limited experience outside their immediate circle & may not even have travelled outside their home town.'Cosmopolitan' & 'urbane' are not adjectives I would typically use. That's not necessarily their fault - a lot of people here have to lead very constrained lives out of necessity. For 90% of the population, they may as well fly to the moon as hop on a plane and visit a foreign country as most farangs are able to do at will. As a result, they don't have a particularly wide frame of reference.

As a thought experiment, try imagining yourself in the bosom of your family back in the US or wherever and your daughter marries a man from a country you maybe turn your nose up a little bit at - are you going to welcome him with open arms to the family barbecues even if he splashes the cash? Furthermore, I believe a distaste for miscegenation is instictively ingrained in most cultures. In some respects however, Thais are fairly liberal on that score and farangs are tolerated reasonably well. Try marrying an orthodox Jewish or Sikh woman back in your own country for example - it ain't going to be popular with her fam-damily. Now with the advent of the internet and what with the rigours of living in feminised western countries driving them away, a lot of the beta males and misfits are turning their eyes towards the orient where there is a growing industry of 'mia farang' in Thailand ready to meet the demand. It all makes for a bit of a strange beast.

Looking the quality of the plane loads of (predominantly male) farangs that arrive in LOS with one thing on their minds, I can't say I really blame them for being cagey. I'm also wary of most other farangs I meet unless I'm introduced to them socially. I speak from experience here, one fellow Brit I bumped into in Big C proceeded immediately to tell me abut his extra-marital activities in the girlie bars, rounded off with the observation "it's better than w*nking isn't it?" - charmed I'm sure! Another Brit I met looked like he had recently had a stroke and it was only by the deft movement of my sandalled feet that I managed to avoid his dribble falling on them.

Thailand is not yet fully PC (and is some ways, thank goodness for that). By my estimation, it's stuck at a cultural outlook somewhere around where the UK was circa 1974, the era of 'It Ain't Half Hot Mum' and 'Til Death Do Us Part' (very un-PC programs with terrible racial sterotyping). You've only got to take a look around your nearest Big C - e.g. see the 'Black Man' branded mops openly on sale and/or the 'little Sambo' garden ornaments in plain view at any garden centre. It wasn't that long ago that 'Darlie' toothpaste was called something much worse. Farangs just don't fit into their (fairly rigid) social structures and instead lie somewhere on a comedic spectrum 'beyond the pale'.

[Asheron]

All the shizer that you clever dicks rant on about are irrlelevent to the OP He is calling it as he sees it doesn't

matter if he is a victim or not

He is whinging and ranting cos the natives will not kow tow down to him thats all

Get used to it!!! An old man comes from america, europe etc. and marries or lives with a young thing. All she wants is to show how big a house she has a and the pick-up bought for her father.

You don't actually believe she loves you, do you??? She loves your wallet because it gives her status in whatever village or town she lives. Try picking a girl with an education and not a whore!!!!

I have been happily married to a Thai girl for 42 years. She did not come from a bar and as soon as we got to America she worked!! I was in the military and she worked more than me. when i retired

she kept on working till she developed Parkinsons at age 62. I have two sons who are Air Force Pilots. No matter where i was stationed she worked at least 5 days a week or sometimes 6 days. Now she is

sick and i will care for her forever. i will not drop her back off in Thailand and find a sweet young thing because now, the girls have no morals or ethics. also i still love my wife and will not forget all she has done for me!!!

i was lucky to find her!! GOOD LUCK NOW!!!

If you want to be taken seriously stop calling other members wifes "whores". Even if she did (i have no idea and don't care) then what does it matter? I have in my short life met some really nasty bitches from "good nice families" but also met some really caring and deep down very nice women who used to work as "tourist guides".

[Soutpeel]

Yeah, Isaan is a real heaven with loads of highly educated women, lol

She used to work in China, we now have a farm in Isaan my choice I prefer the slower pace of life now.

Thats nice, many also work in Singapore, Bahrain and even UK

There are many who work in that rather large office block called Orchard Towers in Singapore

[StefanBBK]

I have never expirience anything like the OP describes. Treat people respectfully and usually same respect is extended back to you.

[sammygood]

you / we are not a buffalo, just a walking ATM

do you talk or wai your atm when you need money ?

[northernphil]

I would like to thank the OP and many of the comments as I now realise a few things. A coulpe of weeks ago TW's younger sister , "younger brudder and uncken " came to visit us out here in woop-woop. Not one word of English is spoken by any of them. They stayed one night I took them to Maesai to go shopping ,my wife handed over a lot of the folding stuff. I was glad to see them go. Why ? I felt as though my house was being taken over by small brown aliens. Ah But when I went to visit them and many more during Sonkran I had a great time . So through this post I realise it is me , not them at fault. Next time a few of the arboreals from Nan turn up I will buy a bottle of Leo they can share before I come back to my pc or local pub.

[SoiBiker]

I'm not interested in 'hookers', either. Nothing to do with age, being 'pc', or my upbringing. I just prefer sex with a partner who finds me attractive and sleeps with me by choice.

So! You live alone with your hand.

Mr. Biker I don't think you live alone nor do I think you live with a women. Which is cool and nothing wrong with that but it kind of throws a wrench into these discussions as the two sexes are different. I think that's not too big a leap for most people to admit - men are different from women.

Your assumptions are way off the mark - and your idea that anyone who doesn't use prostitutes must be gay is simply bizarre.

[watso63]

I for one take less notice than a buffalo of what they think, say and do and my skin is thicker too. Chillax, have the last laugh and tell them the ATM's empty???

[HooHaa]

when you marry what is essentially a peasant, why would peasant behavior surprise you?

but hey, its us without the clue

[BaldPlumber]

You keep referring to "your family" but really they aren't

[BaldPlumber]

You keep referring to "your family" but really they aren't

Oops, I'll try again.

You keep referring to them as "your family" but they really aren't are they, they're hers.

Maybe they just don't want anything to do with you and really, why should they?

[rocketboybkk]

you / we are not a buffalo, just a walking ATM

do you talk or wai your atm when you need money ?

Quite true but the horrible thing is is that a lot of men are but don't realise it.

They just keep giving & the people just keep thinking of things to ask for

I call them idiots!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[kannot]

when you marry what is essentially a peasant, why would peasant behavior surprise you?

but hey, its us without the clue

being a peasant does not necessarily make u a piece of shit, u think rich folk are all pleasant?

[mmh8]

personally I am in the scale of no scale, I am happy to be buffoon or hihghly respected , it is all same I am as happy to instigate loss of face in others and self, as a guava it makes no odds nor ends

[Sabaidee Mai]

Off topic Question, do you all shell out money for the family, do they not work?