She Went Stateside

[little mary sunshine]

Only one side voiced here...I would like to hear Her side.

Sounds like she was sick of your sh.. And started a life

On her own.... Good for her!!

[CapeThai]

If you built / paid for house in Thailand you can dismantle it

Yeah, and have a yard sale on used building materials !! This should keep you occupied for a while taking your mind off things ???

[Bardeh]

So are you just living alone in her house, in the middle of nowhere in Thailand? Sounds to me like it's time to move on - she might have used you for a Green Card, but she's working to provide a better life for her kids and letting you stay in her house. It sounds like the relationship is over, so why not move out of the village and look for a fresh start elsewhere? It doesn't sound like you have anything to lose.

[CrummyJuggler]

He has no money. There or here. Green card is all he offered. She is the one working, trying to improve things. Good for her.

[fred Kubasa]

Almost sounds as tough you are unhappy when you should be throwing a party ! What to do in a country

that every verile male would kill for ? Visit a few Go-GOs, invite a girl, 2 or 3 to stay over every so often and the house ? Sell it, burn it down, or just leave it & rent a nice condo

[IAMHERE]

See a lawyer about how to protect your retirement payout. You do not want her taking a share of what you worked a lifetime for.

[Liquorice]

Used as a pawn, now treated like a prawn.

She wants a better life for herself and her girls and it sounds like you couldn't/wouldn't offer that.

[smotherb]

Would it not be possible that you stay with her in the States?

Not Ever.

It appears she got from you what she wanted and has set about a plan for her life without you. You are far luckier than many others, at least it's over and she supports herself--or does she?

[Gonsalviz]

You stated she said she wanted to work in the states for a while to pay for her kids. And she is doing exactly what she said she would. Now you're complaining?

Dude, it's you that is the problem.

Your wife is an excellent role model. Working. Trying to give her children a better life in the US.

While it sounds to readers here you would just prefer to sit around doing nothing in Thailand. Let me ask, is your "friend" that you share a house with male or female? If you cared about your wife you would be living with her especially since she supported you previously.

It seems you just want someone here to agree with you to justify your actions. I'm guessing your wife would be better off to kick you to the curb and take the house.

Did you read the entire post?

[Gonsalviz]

Only one side voiced here...I would like to hear Her side.

Sounds like she was sick of your sh.. And started a life

On her own.... Good for her!!

And you would be wrong.

[Gonsalviz]

He has no money. There or here. Green card is all he offered. She is the one working, trying to improve things. Good for her.

Yeah, I'm buying another house with the money I don't have.

[Mudcrab]

He has no money. There or here. Green card is all he offered. She is the one working, trying to improve things. Good for her.

Yeah, I'm buying another house with the money I don't have.

Could be a few more hassles coming your way.... have you got the retirement extension covered?

Edited September 8, 2015 by Mudcrab

[slipperylobster]

Two different dreams....

You either love her..or you don't. And vice-versa. I will tell you this...I made a mistake with my first wife. We had the American dream, and plenty of cash, houses and cars. Somehow, retiring overseas and playing with the girls seemed more important. It is actually, nothing but smoke. Nothing replaces love and caring for each other, and building a life worth living. I gave it up for the street life....and almost succumbed to it. Now on my second chance, and figure another 3 years before I get back what I once had. Different strokes for different folks....done my run, lost and almost died (several times). Now enjoying what I should have done twenty years ago.

Think about what you want to throw away, and measure it against what you may gain in the process. It might not be worth it.....or then again....maybe it is, for you. I say only that it is easy to just go with the alcohol, and forget everything....and that does not work for me.

[SOTIRIOS]

....sorry to hear buddy.....

....used and abused....

...and perfect for her......she gets everything...even the house that you repaired..

...you should consider putting a lien on it and having it sold at auction to recoup some losses,,,

...like I have told many guys here........and from my own personal experience....

...these skanks are all about 'pretend'....

...what they do is all well-thought out.....premeditated.....we are just the gullible, trusting patsies....

....blinded by higher ideals....

....(this government should put legislation in place to put a stop to these scams)

...wonder if you can contact immigration in the U.S. as well......

...but waiting 3 years....wow...you were really hoping she 'would come around'......

...sorry buddy...scum like that know nothing about love...it is all about calculation.....greed...gain...and ultimately their retirement....

...as for 'us'....once they get what they were after....we are just to disappear.....

...should have left her in the dirt that you found her in....

[glegolo]

Big age gap between you (retirement) and her?

Yes of course age-gap!! All of us sees it but the OP. She is probably in her prime, and OP is on his last third in life. Completely different aspects and expectations in life of course!!

Not too much to blame really....Congratulations to find a lady that at least are more than willing to work and pay for her childrens schools.

Glegolo

[Rimmer]

An inflammatory post has been removed

[dotpoom]

Would it not be possible that you stay with her in the States?

Not Ever.

In light of your answer above I don't understand your question...."What to do about this"....seems you have it all sorted out and moved on already?

Edited September 8, 2015 by dotpoom

[fitnesspm]

Lol... A better life for her girls??? Lol...

As we all know, westernised women are a nightmare. The west has gone to shit!

[elgordo38]

If , at the end stage of her plan. Will she decide to divorce and get half of everything you own in the States? I hope not.

First stop social services for money free legal aid and then go after half of what you own. Of course any money social services advances her they want back from you.

[timendres]

You need to get on top of this and execute a divorce as soon as possible.

When you obtained the green card for your wife (actually, when you obtained the first visa for her to come to the US), you signed a contract with the federal government stating that you would be responsible for her. This has many implications, none of them are good for you. At the very least, if she ever draws any assistance from the government, they can send you the bill for that. There are many much worse possibilities...

Get ahold of a lawyer and nip this in the bud.

[duckmandon]

Would it not be possible that you stay with her in the States?

Not Ever.

Sorry I don't know much about staying in US but don't they have laws regarding marriage. How can she stay when you live here. What happens if you decide to get a divorce, not saying that is the case, but does she have to leave if she is not a citizen & you are no longer married. Good luck with all. Enjoy your new found freedom.

[timendres]

Just curious . . since you obtained her U.S. visa, you guaranteed her financially. I hope you understand that divorce does relieve you of that guarantee. The only release from that guarantee, is if she becomes a U.S. citizen or your death.

Oh, right. I forgot that divorce does not dissolve this contract. I am not even sure if her getting remarried will dissolve it. When I applied for the fiance visa, my lawyer spent an hour going over this guarantee and making sure I understood what it meant. I did not until the marriage went south. Fortunately for me, it happened here in TH. My wife was here in Thailand long enough that the green card expired, and with it the contract.

[stephenterry]

So what's the point of the OP? You're now leading separate lives as clearly the relationship is over, at least for her. Just walk away, but seek help in preserving your retirement nest-egg in the event of divorce.

[sead]

Well. I hope she makes good money from her shop. You cant force her to stay in Thailand because probably she is thinking for her kids school and gets ok paid in her business. If shes atractive and have her own business then she probably have some guys interested in her. You can wait and divorce her later or simply understand that it is what it is. Try to wait and after 1 year tell her to sign the house in your name or you will demand half of her succesfull business etc. Then sell the house and welcome to Pattaya..

Gl in your life because we dont have much time over to start new relations all the time.

[Ulic]

Sounds like she will be paying you alimony if you get divorced in California. I am sure you can

work out a buyout of the house in Thailand with this hanging over her head.

[HughJass]

There is an old Victorian saying for keeping women in line," keep them bare foot and pregnant"

" keep them bare foot and pregnant"...and chained to the kitchen sink

i think is the full saying

[TheFishman1]

And so like what else is New?

[amykat]

I'd put some time into thinking about how she is handling her taxes and how you should start to file "separately". Owning a business or being self-employed gives a person a lot of motivation (especially when you come from a place like Thailand) and ability to just not pay what one should.

Filing separately isn't enough to protect you, but it is a step. Also, due to the immigration situation, you may have more liability than you would if you just married an American and they cheated on their taxes ...I don't know that answer.

And then if she gets in any debt ...credit cards, medical bills, etc

You could end up in a lot of trouble and then you two can change places. She can run back to Thailand with all the money she saved up by paying no bills or taxes, live in the free house you gave her, while you go back to the US to work off your debt to the IRS and whatever else!!

[Tony125]

He has no money. There or here. Green card is all he offered. She is the one working, trying to improve things. Good for her.

Yeah, I'm buying another house with the money I don't have.

Seems like your being sarcastic with that remark but why would you even think of buying another house? Rent a condo, house or apartment and enjoy your freedom and the rest of your life. If you don't care about the present house your in and you do care for the girls ( you said you bought it for them) then leave it for them and move on. No reason to try and be vindictive and try to cancell her green card as what has she done but tried going to USA and provide a better life for her kids (many oportunites for education and jobs, marriage vs Thailand) and you don't wish to go back there. So enjoy your new found freedom and get on with living.

[chrisinth]

There is an old Victorian saying for keeping women in line," keep them bare foot and pregnant"

and in the kitchen.................