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Expat = Not normal back home?


puukao

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I retired here for a cheaper, more relaxed, and spiritual way of life, and I found it. Thai women was a plus, because I like sex, but.. not the main reason for my happiness....until I found a not so common Thai woman..My wife. Now...she is the main reason why I will not leave Thailand. Definitely....I will be not "normal" back home.

Edited by Muzarella
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Came here for sun and sex, then found a family and a social network.

Nothing like that in Germany anymore, why should I go back to a country where I cannot and do not want to fit?

At the age of 67 they won't even allow me to work in Germany and make more money.

I would be crazy to go back.

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"..And Chiang Mai, you've never noticed that the number of expats you run into here seem to have more personality quirks and disorders than a similar cross-section of a population back home?" I thought that Gecko123 exhibited the most reasoned approach to the lucidity, or lack thereof, expressed in this topic. Then he comes up with this, which could be just a typical expression emanating from the reptilian brain. So, I had to go online and search for definitions and answers, such as, 'where is back home'? 'what is a standardized cross-section'? 'What is an 'ordered' personality'? How is it possible to evaluate a 'quirky' personality when we cannot even define 'personality'? If there exists a Universal Standardized test for personality disorders I failed to find it. Mea Culpa. I have to say that I am a 'victim' of the Casablanca Syndrome; from the Humphrey Bogart character who says, "..I came to Casablanca for the waters"- "there are no waters in Casablanca".- "I was misinformed"...I confess that I don't get on with ex-pats; perhaps it's because I don't drink beer-hate the crap. [insert derisive response here]. I came for the dental work six years ago and stayed long enough to become infected with the positive attributes of THAINESS. I am a city rat. having grown up in San Francisco and New York-I like the heat, noise and the funky ambience of Bangkok as well as TCDC-a gift from Thaksin; plus I grew tired of watching the slow death of a once interesting society-U.S.A. But, expats are boring. and IMO exhibit undeveloped interaction skills. When I first moved to Thailand I was puzzled by the lack of congenial response from people who resembled me...they looked the other way, with a blatantly guarded attitude. OTOH, to be fair to the narrative, here is a tip: To see a group of non-quirky expats take a trip to Suk22 and drop into the 'No Idea' cafe...friendly Westerners, and Brits will celebrate the tasty Bangers and Mash.

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I guess you'd be better stating what you mean by "normal". I for one would hate to be classified as "normal"; with a normal job, a normal wife, with normal kids. Looking at leafless trees during a winter that always reminded me of any post apocalyptic movie and shuffling to work through the slush wishing I could cut my toes off because they were so dam cold. If you give me the choice of a real life here or a drab existence back home then it's an easy decision to make. I've come to learn that most of the people who just want to enjoy the beauty of this tropical land and share their lives with their families are seldom seen propping up the bars or chasing a bit of skirt down the street. Thank you Puukao for reminding me where I am and of the fact that I am not "normal".

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is 'normality' not just a mathematical equasion? the average of all? who is nomal? the person seeking fullfillment and adventure and new experiences or the person sticking to one life, one job, one wife? there are (don't really know) 5 billion people on this tiny planet, who is to say who is 'normal.

we all have just a few seconds to make the most of the little life we have been given...

i will not be judged by anyone for being who i want to be.

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Well of course Ex Pats are different,otherwise they would be back in their own Countries growing boringly old visiting their Local Bar/Pub, dragging their Jack Russell Terrier behind them,which everyone dislikes having their ankles nipped by the little,aggressive Bastards.

So that's not a fitting end for a world adventurer,who is determined not to go down the road of Gas fires and Duffle coats,not to mention Aunties hand knitted Jumper for Xmas,so this is what you can look forward to,unless like some who suddenly realise having your own Bar stool at your local Bar/Pub for the best Part of 20 years doesn't cut it anymore either.

At this stage unbeknown to yourself you were never going to take the above route above into oblivion,because in reality you have much more courage than the average person.So once decided then comes months and months of working out,how to take early retirement?,look into finding out how to be a English Teacher?,A Bar owner?,or Capitalise all your assets?,and start seriously planning your escape and aquiring Visas?. During these months,which seems nothing else is occupying your thoughts,you will confide to family and friends,your plans for the future,now you will be told,you are mad and have no idea,what a terrible mistake you are making from those who have never been to Thailand,And Thailand is a third world Country and if you get sick you are as good as dead,and many stories about who had a friend at work who said his mate blah blah said..............sometimes these people can give serious doubts and cause for concern,when really they don't have your courage,so they need to cover up their own inadequacies!

You will also find that you have suddenly aquired eccentricity status which was never mentioned before,over the many years they knew you!

Yes you are Different/Not Normal back home because,against the odds you had the courage to do it,and I sincerely hope it worked out for everyone one of you,you deserve it!

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Well of course Ex Pats are different,otherwise they would be back in their own Countries growing boringly old visiting their Local Bar/Pub, dragging their Jack Russell Terrier behind them,which everyone dislikes having their ankles nipped by the little,aggressive Bastards.

So that's not a fitting end for a world adventurer,who is determined not to go down the road of Gas fires and Duffle coats,not to mention Aunties hand knitted Jumper for Xmas,so this is what you can look forward to,unless like some who suddenly realise having your own Bar stool at your local Bar/Pub for the best Part of 20 years doesn't cut it anymore either.

At this stage unbeknown to yourself you were never going to take the above route above into oblivion,because in reality you have much more courage than the average person.So once decided then comes months and months of working out,how to take early retirement?,look into finding out how to be a English Teacher?,A Bar owner?,or Capitalise all your assets?,and start seriously planning your escape and aquiring Visas?. During these months,which seems nothing else is occupying your thoughts,you will confide to family and friends,your plans for the future,now you will be told,you are mad and have no idea,what a terrible mistake you are making from those who have never been to Thailand,And Thailand is a third world Country and if you get sick you are as good as dead,and many stories about who had a friend at work who said his mate blah blah said..............sometimes these people can give serious doubts and cause for concern,when really they don't have your courage,so they need to cover up their own inadequacies!

You will also find that you have suddenly aquired eccentricity status which was never mentioned before,over the many years they knew you!

Yes you are Different/Not Normal back home because,against the odds you had the courage to do it,and I sincerely hope it worked out for everyone one of you,you deserve it!

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is 'normality' not just a mathematical equasion? the average of all? who is nomal? the person seeking fullfillment and adventure and new experiences or the person sticking to one life, one job, one wife? there are (don't really know) 5 billion people on this tiny planet, who is to say who is 'normal.

we all have just a few seconds to make the most of the little life we have been given...

i will not be judged by anyone for being who i want to be.

Don't be so sure. This can happen faster than you think, even if you are a banker and IT professional. Any idiot can denounce you as being "abnormal" - and then the proof (of what? ) is up to you.

Can you see the trap?

Edited by micmichd
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When I came home to England after going overland to 15 counties in 15 weeks , finally working up in the North West of Oz in 1971 my old job was waiting for me. Some of the same folk were there still talking about television and football. There world was the same . I still say if after over 10 years in LoS I went back to my local in Plymouth on quiz night I would get " 'ello Phil ,not seen you lately where yer bin ? "

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is 'normality' not just a mathematical equasion? the average of all? who is nomal? the person seeking fullfillment and adventure and new experiences or the person sticking to one life, one job, one wife? there are (don't really know) 5 billion people on this tiny planet, who is to say who is 'normal.

we all have just a few seconds to make the most of the little life we have been given...

i will not be judged by anyone for being who i want to be.

Don't be so sure. This can happen faster than you think, even if you are a banker and IT professional. Any idiot can denounce you as being "abnormal" - and then the proof (of what? ) is up to you.

Can you see the trap?

no, actually, i can't! thought my post had little or no 'sureness' in it for starters. to tell you the truth, i think your reply makes no sense at all. receiving judgement by peers is entirely different from accepting it. as in: i don't give a s..t what people think of me...

living my life - every day!

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Rather than sitting in home country waiting to die, more fun to be here and wonder how they will kill you: traffic, some jerk loses face & stabs or shoots you (alone or with friends), improper electrical installation, etc etc.

"We're all normal and want our freedom" -favorite line from Marat/Sade.

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University education

career and regular employment

wife and kids

regular social activities ie golf, tennis, gardening club, etc.

Upwardly mobile

remain in one place long enough to be established part of community

not doing things I care not to talk about

University education

Never went as I joined the RAF as a boy of 15 1/2

career and regular employment

I had about 4 or 5 careers over 50 years

wife and kids

2 marriages, 1 divorce, 1 son from each marriage

regular social activities ie golf, tennis, gardening club, etc.

Never bothered with that

Upwardly mobile

38 countries in 50 years

remain in one place long enough to be established part of community

I moved every 3 months to 4 years until now

not doing things I care not to talk about

I don't understand that part

2 marriages sounds exceedingly normal.

not doing things I care not to talk about

I don't understand that part

It means in common Yankee vernacular that it's none of your f^&&*ng business.

Thank you for the explanation. Now I understand and agree with you.

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I thought this was a failed thread, and dismissed it.....but it was another success!!!

I created so many "likes"

Oh, I do all my threads for fun.....of course we don't do the "path of the sheep".....we are independent, risk takers, seekers of culture!!!!!

Could you imagine a wife, 4 kids, 3 dogs, 1 cat, 2 fish, and the neighborhood BBQ with crazy Eddie and his "perfect" kids. All while your boss texts you at 9 p.m. on a Saturday and demands the report done by Monday!!!!

Could you imagine NOT seeing the world. NOT experiencing the craziness of Songkran, and NOT knowing what it's like not sleeping for a few days and trying to speak another language while you think about where you put your passport?

life is short.....live it.

Note: Finished a graduate degree in 2000. by 2006 I had enough. that was not the right path for me. 2010 first trip to the LOS. It took me one week to realize that smile wasn't what you thought it was......and that's a good thing. that's when you learn about people.

Edited by puukao
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Some basic issues need to be resolved.

First, what is an expat? Someone who worked in Bumsquat on Stafford and decided to move overseas to retire? Someone who works overseas? Some who spent their life working overseas? Anyone who lives somewhere other than his home country? Someone who no longer pats others or themselves?

Second, why would anyone want to be normal? Anybody can be normal, that is why they call it normal. Since you see expats as so weird, why would expect them to be normal?

Third, why should it be your concern what others do if it does not hurt you, hurt others, or break the local behavioral patterns--note I did not say laws; laws have to enforced to make them viable?

Fourth, what have you against the love for bars? I believe there are bars in more countries than there are not; and I’ll bet most people, not just expats, frequent bars. They are a social meeting place.

Fifth, what possibly could you have against young women, barring some gender orientation differences? I think most men find young women very attractive.

However, those last two would bring us back to normal, wouldn’t they?

Third, why should it be your concern what others do if it does not hurt you, hurt others, or break the local behavioral patterns--note I did not say laws; laws have to enforced to make them viable?

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I can help with part of that, or maybe, confuse the issue further:

"An expatriate (often shortened to expat) is a person temporarily or permanently residing in a country other than that of their citizenship". Per Wiki.

But then what separates a tourist from the above, duration perhaps? I reckon the definition is dependent on duration of stay and whether it is intended to be temporary of permanent, even if it later turns out not to be.

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Well of course Ex Pats are different,otherwise they would be back in their own Countries growing boringly old visiting their Local Bar/Pub, dragging their Jack Russell Terrier behind them,which everyone dislikes having their ankles nipped by the little,aggressive Bastards.

So that's not a fitting end for a world adventurer,who is determined not to go down the road of Gas fires and Duffle coats,not to mention Aunties hand knitted Jumper for Xmas,so this is what you can look forward to,unless like some who suddenly realise having your own Bar stool at your local Bar/Pub for the best Part of 20 years doesn't cut it anymore either.

At this stage unbeknown to yourself you were never going to take the above route above into oblivion,because in reality you have much more courage than the average person.So once decided then comes months and months of working out,how to take early retirement?,look into finding out how to be a English Teacher?,A Bar owner?,or Capitalise all your assets?,and start seriously planning your escape and aquiring Visas?. During these months,which seems nothing else is occupying your thoughts,you will confide to family and friends,your plans for the future,now you will be told,you are mad and have no idea,what a terrible mistake you are making from those who have never been to Thailand,And Thailand is a third world Country and if you get sick you are as good as dead,and many stories about who had a friend at work who said his mate blah blah said..............sometimes these people can give serious doubts and cause for concern,when really they don't have your courage,so they need to cover up their own inadequacies!

You will also find that you have suddenly aquired eccentricity status which was never mentioned before,over the many years they knew you!

Yes you are Different/Not Normal back home because,against the odds you had the courage to do it,and I sincerely hope it worked out for everyone one of you,you deserve it!

Stop picking on Jack Russell's! Mine followed me here and seems to be welcome everywhere we bring her. Though she does bite, but normally only hands and faces if she can jump that high!

There had to be one out there.

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