Relationships in Thailand

[SoiBiker]

Seeing as this topic keeps popping up inappropriately elsewhere, lets have a proper chat about it. What are your experiences of forming or maintaining a relationship here? Is everything rosy in the land of smiles?

Personally, I've found it easier here than back home. Life is just that much less stressful that you have more time and energy to spend on each other, and less of the day to day hassles that can cause friction. Plus it helps that eating out is so much more affordable, so date night can be as often as you like!

How about the rest of you?

[MaeJoMTB]

I find it easier too.

Mostly because, Thai style, you don't have to spend any time with her at all.

You can just go out with your mates every day.

[SoiBiker]

My wife is one of my mates. If I go out drinking, she's often there too.

[Seizetheday]

Well don't eat out too much!!! If you are fat falang about 60 and you have a 25 year old girlfriend she is probably with you because you have a big..... pocket.

[CharlieH]

I find it works as there is no "fight" (real or under-current) for who is the boss or for "equality".

My wife is happy for me to take "the lead", she has clear responsibilities, as do I, and its those attitudes that work for us. Others may have a different "formula".

I pay the bills and take care of her, she takes care of me, and takes care of the Home.

And, we have fun "together".

[rogeroc]

It is very easy to meet a girl here and form a bond and a relationship using Online Dating, bars, massage, clubs etc as, i presume, are the common options to meet them. I have found that most of the girls are charming, polite, talkative, intuitive, clean and well dressed, similar sense of humour (certainly to the UK) and like to have fun. On top of that their expectations of you are not high. I still have friends here who i have known for 7 years or more, even though until very recently i was a tourist visiting 2 or 3 times per year. The relationships simply pick up were they left off. I have no experience of living with a girl here so cannot comment. For me the picture is a rosy one.

[rogeroc]

Mae JoeMTB

I find it easier too.

Mostly because, Thai style, you don't have to spend any time with her at all.

You can just go out with your mates every day.

You always make me smile. Keep it up !

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[thrilled]

When I dated beautiful women in the US they would cheat at the drop of A hat.I guess that's normal.

In Thailand the women that I have been with haven't even glanced at another man.

Maybe Thai women know when they have A good thing their not going to gamble on finding someone better.

[konying]

When I dated beautiful women in the US they would cheat at the drop of A hat.I guess that's normal.

In Thailand the women that I have been with haven't even glanced at another man.

Maybe Thai women know when they have A good thing their not going to gamble on finding someone better.

Or you too oblivious to the fact that she is cheating,

Unless you missed a publication about the rate of infidelity in Thailand

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/thailand-named-most-adulterous-country-world-1488513

[HLover]

When I dated beautiful women in the US they would cheat at the drop of A hat.I guess that's normal.

In Thailand the women that I have been with haven't even glanced at another man.

Maybe Thai women know when they have A good thing their not going to gamble on finding someone better.

It's because you are so handsome, a real lady killer.

[TuskegeeBen]

Different age (generation) groups of expats, have different value structures, and priorities. Its difficult for anyone to appropriately reply to your post, without knowing your particular farang demographics.

So, the best you can hope to get, are a boatload of variable opinions, from different TVF posters. Here's my take on the topic.

Thailand (the LOS) hosts some of the most beautiful live-in potential maids, on the planet. If you cannot proudly take your Thailady (gf) back home, to meet with your family, then you're well advised

to just continue paying the bar-fines, until you find that one. Rest assured, she's definitely out there to be found, if you're patient.

Personally, I would not get involved with any Thailady, who hasn't taken the initiative to get (1) @ least a High School Diploma, (2) a basic working knowledge of English,as a Second Language,

(3) a bonafide, income-tax paying job (even as a 7-11 storeclerk), (4) or she has created her own job, by starting her own shopkeeping business enterprise, when I first meet her.

Reason being: I am not Sir Lacelot! My children (back home) are 35+ years adults. My parenting days were completely finished in 1999. I am not interested in playing the Daddy role, anymore.

Granted, western women certainly do have their issues, but at least you can enjoy a post-coital chat with them, lasting longer than 60-second intervals. Again, Thai women can be quite sweet and nurturing,

compared to western women. However, Thai (Asian) women are very temperamental, with a penchant for frequent, multiple and sudden emotional mood swings, making them also very high-maintenance females.

Reference point: The higher the Thailady's educational (global consciousness) level, the lower will be your contribution to maintaining a (hopefully) progressive & productive relationship with her. Cheers,

[SoiBiker]

What a strange response.

A variety of opinions was what I was hoping for. As far as I can gather from your somewhat confusing post, you seem to have rather misunderstood the question.

[TuskegeeBen]

What a strange response.

A variety of opinions was what I was hoping for. As far as I can gather from your somewhat confusing post, you seem to have rather misunderstood the question.

Strange? Confusing? OK, Sorry you feel that way. Perhaps we just don't communicate from the same English language platform. I was of the impression that your question was academic. Thus my reply. My mistake! Cheers

[TuskegeeBen]

Well don't eat out too much!!! If you are fat falang about 60 and you have a 25 year old girlfriend she is probably with you because you have a big..... pocket.

Hope this reply doesn't come-off as being strange! It's not always about how deep your pockets are. There are actually some (rare) quite sincere Thai women, who will be with you, simply because they like you. You just need be a wise shopper

[JLCrab]

An above post suggested that, for a desirable relationship, at least for him, a Thailady should have a basic wording knowledge of English. Mine doesn't. There is a big age difference and, when we are out in public others might might assume what is generally assumed until they hear that all our conversation and banter is in Thai. So what's generally assumed ain't what's going down.

[seedy]

Post Hidden

If you know Enuf to reference a banned topic, you know the consequences.

Post again - win a holiday

[whaleboneman]

What a strange response.

A variety of opinions was what I was hoping for. As far as I can gather from your somewhat confusing post, you seem to have rather misunderstood the question.

Strange? Confusing? OK, Sorry you feel that way. Perhaps we just don't communicate from the same English language platform. I was of the impression that your question was academic. Thus my reply. My mistake! Cheers

I also think you missed the point. Perhaps you could read the OP again.

[overherebc]

Meet someone from your own social and economic background anywhere in the world and it makes things so much easier, preferably someone who speaks and understands your own language and customs.

Always worked for me in my last 27 relationships.

[1FinickyOne]

I find it easier here too.. maybe not so much pressure for men in that there is a surplus of available women and we are more in demand.

I very much like that my wife and I are both non-confrontational.

I also like what many complain about here - she feels a responsibility to take care of her parents. I think this is admirable and help where I can. I don't try and rate who comes first or anything like that. We have not encountered that proverbial if two people are drowning and you have one rope type of situation. Her family are nice people.

So, I have respect for my wife - and I find, what many people seem to forget here too, you get back what you give out. And I find that in so many of my dealings w/Thai people, but maybe that is another subject.

[villagefarang]

I must admit to misreading the intent of this topic initially. I had been thinking about friendships just before reading so I missed the relationship focus.

I don’t really have a past life to compare with except as a teenager in the West so I can't make any comparisons. I spent the first twenty fun filled years in Thailand as a single guy before encountering that magical confluence of me being ready and meeting the right girl.

Having lived here so long, having a life of my own and speaking Thai have made the transition from single to married surprisingly easy for me. After 18 years together we are still in love and still best friends. The balance between togetherness and independence has changed over the years as we age and our interests develop. Communication has never been a problem and our styles are very compatible even with a 20 year age difference.

So for me, everything is rosy in the land of smiles.

[atyclb]

be aware of the non hookers that hit you up for money even from a distance. some may get the benefit of the doubt but the outcome is typically "hasta la vista" goodbye baby

[StevieDee]

I find it works as there is no "fight" (real or under-current) for who is the boss or for "equality".

My wife is happy for me to take "the lead", she has clear responsibilities, as do I, and its those attitudes that work for us. Others may have a different "formula".

I pay the bills and take care of her, she takes care of me, and takes care of the Home.

And, we have fun "together".

Same here CharlieH, "ha sip/ha sip". I know my responsibilities to the household and family and the wife knows hers. They don't need to be written in stone, they just happen, and meeting in the middle is why we also have fun together. I think 'most', not all, but 'most' of the relationship issues can be attributed to age differences.

[1FinickyOne]

I agree with Village Farang and JL too - speaking thai language helps - but as VF said, things change and develop - we too have a nice balance of independence and can accept that we both don't always have the same interests. We do things together, function as a family together, but i get plenty of alone time and the peace and quiet I need.

We do not discuss our relationship - [sounds like a fight in the western World] we just have one. I think living in the village gives my wife lots of security and plenty of time to be with her large family. Sometimes we hang out together, sometimes don't see each other all day… we both have phones if anything comes up.

There are cultural differences. I find it interesting more than a detriment. Often a learning experience for me as in general, the middle class people in my home country don't seem half as happy as the poor people here.

I see people here criticize Thai people, Thai culture and then they seem to have problems with their wives too. It seems particularly odd as we are guests in their country - and it also seems that people who take the time to learn some of the traditional customs and language seem to get along better too.

[Stevemercer]

I don't know about others, but I've always found Asian ladies (black hair, smaller, darker) much prettier than Europeans (blonde, bigger, paler). I've always liked Asian attitudes and approaches to life. I know I am only generalising, but, for me, that is part of the attraction in Thai relationships.

Positives in relationships over here include Thai woman being very nurturing, loving and wanting to look after their man. A loving woman will fiercely protect your face against gossip and innuendo. She will respect your decisions for better or worse, and will not complain. Negatives can include unreasonable jealousy, inability to plan for the future, an inward looking view and personal vanity. It is sometimes like living with a teenager. The 'living in the moment' and enthusiasm for life can be so infectious, while the periodic tantrums can be a little tedious. In any case, a relationship with a Thai woman is never going to be boring.

[SoiBiker]

I'd just like to point out that I was referring to relationships in Thailand - not necessarily relationships with Thai people.

[boonchu]

I have been married to a Thai lady for 30 years, we worked together in Australia and built up a great business which we sold and now have retired living in Thai 6-8 months and the rest in Australia.

Despite a few battles over the years we still have a loving relationship and enjoy each others company and our children's company when back in Australia.Living here in Thailand is certainly less stressful and much more relaxed. We go Australia when it gets too hot here.

[pgrahmm]

I think a big part of finding the "right" one is how you match up on all levels.....This takes time and luck.....If something is not agreeing with your moral/emotional/comfort/"life" compass/bank and you have to make allowances/concessions in the things you believe are right/extremely important for you - for any woman things are usually not going to work.....

Thai women want to be loved, comfortable with their man, equally treated with respect, they want to feel secure , and feel valued - the same simple needs every woman wants from her man.....However → like everywhere some women are just not good wife material/prospects....Women that are are making their money in a lazy way are not going to be industrious about anything except taking your money....

My wife just happens to be Thai....Fortunately - but not by accident - we match up in most every way from our outlooks on living to our personalities - both strong but understated.....Not once have I ever put her down nor she me.....We get along completely with healthy laughter...She's in her 40s I'm in my 60s and that age spacing works.....

I see guys 60ish steering around 18-20 somethings - or - being steered around by 18-20 somethings = usually not a wise choice....

The old saw on here is that Uni educated hard working professional women are fictional and to be scoffed at....Not so - my wife is University educated, was earning 5-7x's what the Thais are making, had her own car and bank credit lines ....My ILs are farm people - great people that have never asked for anything - except that I treat their daughter well & I have been treated with love, warmth, and respect....

We share and talk about everything right down to sports...Truly enjoying our time with each other.....

I think a lot comes down to luck.....But also "finishing schools"

also play a part....A university is a good one.....Setting up a food stand and/or working is another.

For some it's bars and massage parlors......

It's a choice of where to look...and where your value system "bank" leads you.....

Thailand is full of good, strong, beautiful (inside and out) women that could be great partners and many on here - and in my life's experience have found them.....But it takes time to look/seek/weed them out.....

If someone is here limited time the options and chances diminish decidedly.....

[villagefarang]

One thing which strikes me about relationships in Thailand is how dogmatic many posters are about what one ‘must’ do and their eagerness to tell others what to do and how to do it. From my point of view much of what is said has little to do with Thailand. What is being expressed often emanates from the scars and baggage of some past life and failed relationships.

Compatibility is not a simple mathematical formula. We don’t all need or want the same things, so what works for one person may not work for someone else. Also, what works today may not work tomorrow, so in my opinion it helps if you have truly open channels of communication. Then again some people will do anything to avoid communication, including marrying someone they cannot talk with.

[theonetrueaussie]

I am only 32 so probably half the age of most people on this forum but I hated dating in thai, Same with all my friends. Relationships had virtually no chance of succeeding unless you are willing to take care for entire family forever limiting your own options. I also love the line about thai wives being incredibly faithful from some of the previous posters here, The amount of times myself and other friends were propositioned by these apparently faithful wives even out at restaurants when their partners left for the loo for a few minutes.....

If you want a simple life and someone who will take care of you as long as you have money then thai girls are fine. If you want are looking for someone who you can work hard with and make a great life together then it is insanely hard to find someone seeing as thai qualifications are worthless anywhere outside thailand, Getting her a visa for many western countries in a long tedius process and basically the having to take care of her entire family financialy leaves you less well off. For younger blokes thailand is probably the worst place to look for a relationship!!

[HampiK]

I am only 32 so probably half the age of most people on this forum but I hated dating in thai, Same with all my friends. Relationships had virtually no chance of succeeding unless you are willing to take care for entire family forever limiting your own options. I also love the line about thai wives being incredibly faithful from some of the previous posters here, The amount of times myself and other friends were propositioned by these apparently faithful wives even out at restaurants when their partners left for the loo for a few minutes.....

If you want a simple life and someone who will take care of you as long as you have money then thai girls are fine. If you want are looking for someone who you can work hard with and make a great life together then it is insanely hard to find someone seeing as thai qualifications are worthless anywhere outside thailand, Getting her a visa for many western countries in a long tedius process and basically the having to take care of her entire family financialy leaves you less well off. For younger blokes thailand is probably the worst place to look for a relationship!!

I have a wife now, and never had to help her family. Of course she sometimes give some small money or pay something for her younger sister. I think if you found a gf with a similar education as yourself, then this is not that big problem anymore.

I also know quite a lot of thai women and most of them (not all) not expect their bf to support their families. Thailand is changing as well. My wife is 7 years younger than me and she think in many points similar as myself.

When i see a 70 year old man with a 20 year old girl... then I would say about 95% of the time it's not love (expect you count the love to money and sexy girl). But even with this age gap, there are some real love possible... maybe less than 5%

At the moment we still live outside of thailand for about 10 months per year, because it's easier to make money. As soon we have enough money for retirement we will move to thailand.

Farangland is easier for make money

Thailand is easier for relax

That is my opinion.