The Mai Ben Rai Up to You problem

[laolover88]

Not about language. Not funny gossip either.

As you know there are a number of ways both these things can be said

Interesting fracas in the household this morning.

I am snoozing. Said last night: If you are hungry we'll go out and buy some breakfast in the morning

About 07.30 I hear the gate opened and the motorbike gone

Children 13 and 15

No driving licence. no insurance, no helmet.

I am a bit "upset"

Wife: Children free to do what they want. All Thai people free to do what they want.

Me: Not free to kill themselves if it can be avoided

Wife: They free. Up to them

Me: What if they kill someone else?

Wife: Never mind. Accident happen. Need to learn. Up to Them

And my wife is a Chula graduate!!

[Lamkyong]

graduate in what i ask ??obviously not common sense

[JHolmesJr]

Seems all is not well in the house of lao.

[Lex Talionis]

Buddhist fatalism. Has nothing to do with degrees or education. Weren't you one of those guys fleeing the nanny state back home?

[1FinickyOne]

If you lived in a small village, you would be upset every day... The only thing worse than the 9 and 10 yr olds driving is the drunk teenagers... as well as drunk adults who should know better...

This one is not up to you, [or me either] sorry. All I can do is scrape them up and visit them in the hospital.

[Merylhighground]

And my wife is a Chula graduate!!

[sipi]

Mai Bpen Rai takes care of everything including the avoidable and tragedy.

The idea is to stack the odds in your favor by doing the right thing.

Unfortunately doing the right thing sometimes doesn't work.

Mai Bpen Rai.

[pedro01]

Buddhist fatalism. Has nothing to do with degrees or education. Weren't you one of those guys fleeing the nanny state back home?

I dont think it's anything to do with religion.

My wife is buddhist but will only use the bike to go to the local market 1 or 2 kms away. Everyone has to wear a helmet and only adults are allowed to ride.

Our eldest is 14 and the only 2 wheels he's allowed to ride is his mountain bike.

In any balanced relationship, issues like this are discussed and rules agreed.

The OPs issue is nothing to do with "mai pen rai" but more to do with the fact his wife and her children don't respect him.

[BritManToo]

If you own the m/c, up to you who uses it.

If your children, up to you as dad.

If not, not your business.

Her kids, her m/c her business.

If you don't like it, just leave.

How easy is that?

Edited April 10, 2016 by BritManToo

[siamcrut]

If you own the m/c, up to you who uses it.

If your children, up to you as dad.

If not, not your business.

Her kids, her m/c her business.

If you don't like it, just leave.

How easy is that?

Exactly!

[sipi]

I had to google "Chula graduate"

Mai Bpen Rai.

[BangkokKen]

And this is how, every year we are the second most dangerous roads country in the world.

Children DONT need to learn by having an accident. That is why parents are here for, to explain. It's called education.

[slipperylobster]

graduate in what i ask ??obviously not common sense

degrees are handed out like candy here, as long as you pay.

[sipi]

I really like the idea of "Mai Bpen Rai", it does make a great conversation stopper.

A bit like "Who gives a fark"

"I just won lotto" Mai Bpen Rai.

"Jesus died for your sins" Mai Bpen Rai.

"The world is ending" Mai Bpen Rai.

[jvs]

Yesterday i hurt my hand while doing some woodwork,lots of blood and hurt like hell!I just stayed away from Ann until the bleeding stopped and put on a band aid from my

secret stash in the workshop.

When she saw it she was upset as usual and told me to wear gloves and be very careful next time.She gave me the hospital and go see the doctor talk but i told her i cleaned the wound very well and i do not need to take any antibiotics.

Today the wound looks clean and no sign of infection at all,Ann told me again to wear gloves from now on(she really cares about me) and not to do any work today

Then i told her maybe next time she goes to the market she should wear a helmet,her answer wait for it!!!!! WHY?

MY answer,mai pben rai.I rest my case.

[rodcourt49]

Yesterday i hurt my hand while doing some woodwork,lots of blood and hurt like hell!I just stayed away from Ann until the bleeding stopped and put on a band aid from my

secret stash in the workshop.

When she saw it she was upset as usual and told me to wear gloves and be very careful next time.She gave me the hospital and go see the doctor talk but i told her i cleaned the wound very well and i do not need to take any antibiotics.

Today the wound looks clean and no sign of infection at all,Ann told me again to wear gloves from now on(she really cares about me) and not to do any work today

Then i told her maybe next time she goes to the market she should wear a helmet,her answer wait for it!!!!! WHY?

MY answer,mai pben rai.I rest my case.

...give her one of your band aids..stick on her head..i can see the irony in that!

[totally thaied up]

My partner's brother is 15 and lives out in the Village. He is as dumb as a buffalo, wags school when he can, and I can see grand things evolving from him like becoming the Village drunk. He cannot spell even the Thai alphabet yet. We have tried everything and even paid to put him in an excellent school for six months but he just acted up so bad, we had to remove him from the school due to the request from teachers due to the fights he started most days. We then placed him in a Temple as a novice to see if it would help. Ten weeks later he was at home as the Monks could not handle him.

We have told him countless times not to ride Mammas motorcycle. We also told Mamma, he was not to ride any of the motorcycles. Three weeks ago, we get a call from the police as he had been in an accident. The police brought the bike home; it was smashed up, and he had a lot of gravel rash but was alive. We were in Chiang Mai, and my partner went boom! She drove out to the Village, went just apeshit at her brother as he was supposed to be at the school that day, not cruising around with his friends on the motorcycle. She grabbed him by the ear I was told and dragged him kicking and screaming to the local temple and told her Uncle that is a Monk for him to live there for the next week cleaning the Temple grounds.

Both Motorcycles got loaded into the back of a red car and were brought back to Chiang Mai. Mamma is now using her cousins to take her to the market for food.

The brother has not yet come home. In this case, it was not Mai Bpen Rai as the brother almost killed himself and someone else in the process. A similar happening occurred in our Village about a year ago when a young 13-year-old killed a man walking on the road to a market. The guy was a cop, and the family ended up having to pay out a lot of money as the family had to give most their land to these people for compensation.

Mai Bpen Rai for somethings but then other times, it will just not work when it is serious.

Edited April 11, 2016 by totally thaied up

[Tchooptip]

Buddhist fatalism. Has nothing to do with degrees or education. Weren't you one of those guys fleeing the nanny state back home?

I dont think it's anything to do with religion.

My wife is buddhist but will only use the bike to go to the local market 1 or 2 kms away. Everyone has to wear a helmet and only adults are allowed to ride.

Our eldest is 14 and the only 2 wheels he's allowed to ride is his mountain bike.

In any balanced relationship, issues like this are discussed and rules agreed.

The OPs issue is nothing to do with "mai pen rai" but more to do with the fact his wife and her children don't respect him.

Of course

[mesterm]

Buddhist fatalism. Has nothing to do with degrees or education. Weren't you one of those guys fleeing the nanny state back home?

I dont think it's anything to do with religion.

My wife is buddhist but will only use the bike to go to the local market 1 or 2 kms away. Everyone has to wear a helmet and only adults are allowed to ride.

Our eldest is 14 and the only 2 wheels he's allowed to ride is his mountain bike.

In any balanced relationship, issues like this are discussed and rules agreed.

The OPs issue is nothing to do with "mai pen rai" but more to do with the fact his wife and her children don't respect him.

Of course

He should try more Thai husbandry techniques, perhaps.

[dick dasterdly]

Mai bpen rai from someone when I have to pay for a service still annoys the hell out of me!

Having made this clear to my plumber/odd job man and taxi driver has resulted in mixed results..

Taxi driver is great and always charges around the same price (albeit Phuket price) never mind how many places I drag him to whilst out. Odd job man v quickly increased his price to my over-generous payments when I was extremely grateful that he had turned up so quickly and done a good job.....

[manhood]

I dont accept form anyone to answer a question with: up to you!!!!!

also mai pen rai! Never accept it and get really angry and ask them if the have no opinion on something

so ask for what they like to drink and they say up to me: i order hot milk or some stuff like that!

so they learn to express what they want!

otherwise get shit!

[Oldkhwaay]

I dont accept form anyone to answer a question with: up to you!!!!!

also mai pen rai! Never accept it and get really angry and ask them if the have no opinion on something

so ask for what they like to drink and they say up to me: i order hot milk or some stuff like that!

so they learn to express what they want!

otherwise get shit!

[Oldkhwaay]

Brilliant. Next time she says "up to you" when I ask her what she wants to drink, I'll piss in a glass and gite it to her. Should cure her.

[BuriramDevelopers]

Good thing the wife is not the boss in my house....

[dick dasterdly]

I dont accept form anyone to answer a question with: up to you!!!!!

also mai pen rai! Never accept it and get really angry and ask them if the have no opinion on something

so ask for what they like to drink and they say up to me: i order hot milk or some stuff like that!

so they learn to express what they want!

otherwise get shit!

And as per my post above yours, sometimes it will result in the service provider realising that 'up to you' is an annoying reply to a Westerner, and they will treat you as fairly as they have previously or - other times they will just charge you well over the top as we haven't done what we should have done - and told them 'OK then, I'll pay you nothing'....

Mind you, try saying 'OK then, I'll pay you nothing' and I'll be all ears to hear the response.

[ChrisKC]

And this is how, every year we are the second most dangerous roads country in the world.

Children DONT need to learn by having an accident. That is why parents are here for, to explain. It's called education.

Education is fine but when it is refused then discipline has to be implemented.

Wearing seat belts, crash helmets, no use of mobile phones by car drivers in my presence is enforced. it is non-negotiable. Being assertive without aggression works. From the beginning my g/f and two young children we sometimes take out wear their seat belts in the car, EVERY time. In fact after only about three or times being reminded, even the 4 and 5 year olds now automatically put their belts on! When they are with their parents, they don't!!

"Mai Bpen rai" in very important matters is a bad attitude that I do not accept!

Edited April 11, 2016 by ChrisKC

[DrTuner]

Get them a 1200cc superbike. Mai bpen rai.

[TKDfella]

Had many instances with my ex Thai wife years ago but a very recent instance was with my 'new intended'. When I bought the m/c for a couple of years ago I thought she had a license (Yeah, I should have checked first). I was annoyed when I found out she hadn't got one. I said that if we were to get married she needs to get a license. 'it doesn't matter, up to her' was the type of response so I said 'okay, no marriage'. 'Why...what...' face drop etc. 'I don't want wife who breaks the law. Up to me.' She is making arrangement for (new) test training in our area. So sometimes fight fire with fire works. If she had refused I would have stuck to my decision and said 'Mai bpen rai.'

[Robm579]

If you lived in a small village, you would be upset every day... The only thing worse than the 9 and 10 yr olds driving is the drunk teenagers... as well as drunk adults who should know better...

This one is not up to you, [or me either] sorry. All I can do is scrape them up and visit them in the hospital.

I could not agree less .... It will be your problem when the bills arrive...

Repair bills

Hospital bills

Funeral bills

Compensation bills

Etc...

My way or the highway ...! (In this instance)

[Duncan Donut]

"Wife: All Thai people free to do what they want."

Seems you married a Yellow hi so-and-so........