Reverse culture shock tips if you haven't lived in the U.S. for a really long time

[Jingthing]

To add, in my view a dominant part of American culture is a focus on the younger generation. Particularly in marketing and media. It was definitely that way when I was younger. I assume that's still going on and as I've been away for so long, I think the culture shock dealing with the particular peculiarities of this current younger generation will probably be more than for an older person who had stayed, seeing that influence develop more gradually.

This might be one of the bigger culture shocks in the USA, that old folks are basically invisible. You're no longer "special," just another old person taking up space. It's youth that's celebrated. Don't even think about hitting on a young female as you'll be labeled a dirty old man...or worse. But in your case, I'm sure you know that homophobia is still alive and well in the USA, especially in certain parts of the country.

Yes, I am very aware of the low regard for elders in American culture. Nothing new in that so not exactly a shock. It's worth noting of course, but I'm looking more here for things that have actually CHANGED in the last decade or so.

[NancyL]

I think that the same is true for all of us who have been living in LOS for some time, regardless of our country of origin.

In my case I have progressively observed changes in life in the UK which are definitely not for the better from my perspective on various trips back home since moving out here 8 years ago - to the extent that I now feel a complete stranger in my home country whenever I go there. And the prospect of having to readjust myself to UK culture were I to move back there permanently is one which, quite frankly, I dread.

I will be going back to the UK for the first time in 26 years in July. Looking at it as an adventure as it certainly won't be the country I left. Will only be there for a couple of weeks though.

Let us know how that works out. Really it would be like going to a new place as a tourist, wouldn't it? Or maybe returning to a place of your youth for a brief visit but knowing you didn't have to stay there. Most of us have done that and marveled at how small everything seems.

[Jingthing]

Interesting.

One thing I would NEVER consider is to move back to the same area as where I actually grew up.

That would be too weird and disturbing.

The USA is so big with so many choices of climate and local cultures, that to move to a region you haven't been to before is just a little bit like moving to a new country. But no visa needed if you're American, of course.

[fireplay]

Oh and tv!!! Wowowow series are sooo good! Everything is dvr and on demand the cable sat channels are insane!!! You will love american TV!! I AM CURRENTLy banging through ray donovan...soooo good...and true detective 1st season was amazing!!!! Tv shows today in the west have gotten so edgy and smart and dark and complicated and weird and funny...even american commercials are all slick and catchy and well produced....

you are aware that all of those shows can be streamed form thailand for free right?

Yea well setting up streaming with thailands shit internet and coding some sleek kodi interface is not the same as kicking back to the American tv experience.

ALL i meant was the comparison to MY tv experience in Thailand....which is crap....3 year old shit series on universal channel...some more extremely lame and limited american programming and bad movies sprinkled through absolutely awful thai programmimg and 10 channels of soccer and cricket.

Wheres the dvr tech! Wheres the nba play offs!!!!

Sorry but the lame work arounds to access the program is NOTHING compared to the american tv experience....

[Jingthing]

I don't think you get the wink wink nod nod. The American (etc.) t.v. experience is a FEATURE of living in Thailand vs. the USA.

Edited April 19, 2016 by Jingthing

[lannarebirth]

I don't think you get the wink wink nod nod. The American (etc.) t.v. experience is a FEATURE of living in Thailand vs. the USA.

The best part about returning to the states is access to fantastic libraries just about anywhere you go. I never cared for those e-book readers when I lived in Thailand so that was a happy change.

[taxout]

But if you're talking about changes, libraries in the U.S. are no longer quiet places for reading a book but social centers for kids running about, the homeless to escape the weather, the phoneless to access the web and so on. They no longer teach librarians how to say "Shhh."

[fireplay]

I don't think you get the wink wink nod nod. The American (etc.) t.v. experience is a FEATURE of living in Thailand vs. the USA.

I mean I watched the entire 5 seasons of breaking bad in 4 or 5 days in thailand if that is what you are winkin about...

Ya global media....oozing from the States....

[geriatrickid]

Looks like many people are living a hand to mouth existence. Sad, but at least they were able to live their fantasy for a period of time before reality came calling.

The real culture shock for some will be the inability to exploit those who are uneducated and impoverished. The opportunity to boss around people and to run roughshod over those who are incapable of asserting themselves, will be missed by some people. Just ask this fellow. Do you think he could have someone cart him around in Austin, or Bath, or Munchen, like this? This image represents far too many male westerners in SE Asia.

[grumpyoldman]

Looks like many people are living a hand to mouth existence. Sad, but at least they were able to live their fantasy for a period of time before reality came calling.

The real culture shock for some will be the inability to exploit those who are uneducated and impoverished. The opportunity to boss around people and to run roughshod over those who are incapable of asserting themselves, will be missed by some people. Just ask this fellow. Do you think he could have someone cart him around in Austin, or Bath, or Munchen, like this? This image represents far too many male westerners in SE Asia.

Fatso.jpg

I find this post very strange. Not my case at all having worked here the last ten years, happy with my Thai colleagues as they with I without the "ability to exploit those who are uneducated and impoverished".

Looking to assert myself in a new avenue and as far as the fellow in the cart, he's in some kind of parade no? In my hometown they recently had a Patriots Day Parade and yes, I had some friends being carted around in fancy cars.

I see this post as sort of a stereotype, read something similar off the Sukumvitnow website where they listed every type of male foreigner and no, we all don't fall into these types of categories. Not at all. Love my life here but feel time to move on.

[Gary A]

My dear old mother, RIP, loved Arby's roast beef sandwiches. That was the first shock I got. I thought there was a mistake on my bill. There was no mistake. My second shock was a visit to the supermarket to get some goodies and a couple good steaks. My mother heated her big old house with a fuel oil furnace. A monthly $400 dollar heating bill definitely got my attention. Old people like it warm in their houses. I went to a JC Penny store to buy some clothes that actually fit. I caused a big commotion that required the store manager. I tried to pay with cash and no one knew how to accept cash. They wanted me to get a JC Penny credit card. I explained that I lived in Thailand and a credit card would be useless in Thailand. The manager finally worked it out and I used cash. Mother had an electrical problem and called the local electrician. I choked at his estimate and went to the local hardware to buy a circuit breaker, wire and outlets. I called my brother and together we did the job. I think old people are targets for over charging. The surprising thing was that my mother thought the estimate was reasonable. Thankfully my brother is also retired and mowed her lawn when needed. With the prices being so high, I can understand why the workmen need to charge big prices. It was just a shock for me.

[Jingthing]

Yes. Higher prices for some things. Always unpleasant. Frankly that's more apt for a pro and con list for repatriation than this topic.

[lannarebirth]

Ok, here's one. Everyone is disabled. Handicapped parking places have gone from being a couple near the door to the nearest 30% of the parking lot nearest the door. Homeless people all over the major cities, what with the hipsters displacing everyone. They're really pretty unbearable, the hipsters that is, and I'm lucky I don't live in a major city.

[lannarebirth]

A personal annoyance I've noticed is prevalent now, is that people are always telling you what you "need" to do for them. These will invariably be persons and agencies that you have contacted to do something for you, often paying them to do so. "I'm going to need you to stand over here". "I'm going to need you to come back on Tuesday." Drives me up a wall.

[Gary A]

Someone mentioned great TV. I didn't find it that way at all. The MANY commercials made me crazy. It's a good thing that my sister had a collection of DVD movies. Of course my mother had no Internet. I ended up with a prepaid SIM card from AT&T. That was crazy expensive too. After so many years here, I'm used to Thailand, warts and all. I intend to live out my days right here unless for some reason the government makes that impossible.

My son offered to build me a house on his West Virginia acreage. I love that area out in the boonies but I would have a problem with the winter weather. At least I have an emergency option for my old age.

[55Jay]

Looks like many people are living a hand to mouth existence. Sad, but at least they were able to live their fantasy for a period of time before reality came calling.

The real culture shock for some will be the inability to exploit those who are uneducated and impoverished. The opportunity to boss around people and to run roughshod over those who are incapable of asserting themselves, will be missed by some people. Just ask this fellow. Do you think he could have someone cart him around in Austin, or Bath, or Munchen, like this? This image represents far too many male westerners in SE Asia.

How would you feel about white people schlepping other white people around San Diego, California in a pedi-cab?

[Jingthing]

A personal annoyance I've noticed is prevalent now, is that people are always telling you what you "need" to do for them. These will invariably be persons and agencies that you have contacted to do something for you, often paying them to do so. "I'm going to need you to stand over here". "I'm going to need you to come back on Tuesday." Drives me up a wall.

That does sound very annoying. May need to up the BP meds to deal with that kind of stuff.

[KarenBravo]

US TV is bordering on un-watchable due to the commercial breaks. Then they re-run the last five minutes of the program after the commercial break; five minutes that you've already seen.

It makes you want to hit something.

[grumpyoldman]

Looks like many people are living a hand to mouth existence. Sad, but at least they were able to live their fantasy for a period of time before reality came calling.

The real culture shock for some will be the inability to exploit those who are uneducated and impoverished. The opportunity to boss around people and to run roughshod over those who are incapable of asserting themselves, will be missed by some people. Just ask this fellow. Do you think he could have someone cart him around in Austin, or Bath, or Munchen, like this? This image represents far too many male westerners in SE Asia.

How would you feel about white people schlepping other white people around San Diego, California in a pedi-cab?

active-pedicab.jpg

They had those in Santa Barbara also (2001) going up and down State Street (the main drinking St.). Pretty handy when doing the bar hop thing.

[Jingthing]

Sorry to be a hall monitor here, but the bringing up of rickshaws was obviously a BAITING attempt to derail this topic into an irrelevant area. We've had plenty of threads over the years where people try to stereotype and insult expats as coming to Asia in a racist/white colonialist way to exploit the poor natives. NOTHING to do with this topic. Please go somewhere else with that kind of inflammatory garbage.

Of course some people took the bait. That's what people posting such diversions are hoping for.

That said, in the early hours of this thread it looked like this topic was destined to be a total DUD and/or trainwreck. It happens. When starting topics, you can't really predict whether there will be resonance or not.

INSTEAD, the response has rather surprised me and there have been many excellent ON TOPIC responses of real value here.

So THANK YOU for those QUALITY posts. Cheers.

Edited April 20, 2016 by Jingthing

[grumpyoldman]

My last post does bring up another culture shock thing and that's the sticker price of a drink at a bar.

Vegas you can find deals, a big beer on the street (it's 2 beers draft in a plastic cup) for 175thb - 5 bucks, but my rum and soda at a bar here in Phuket at 65thb - 1.90US is going to run 8 dollars and THEN a tip. Yes, say hello to 350thb drinks..........

[Jingthing]

My last post does bring up another culture shock thing and that's the sticker price of a drink at a bar.

Vegas you can find deals, a big beer on the street (it's 2 beers draft in a plastic cup) for 175thb - 5 bucks, but my rum and soda at a bar here in Phuket at 65thb - 1.90US is going to run 8 dollars and THEN a tip. Yes, say hello to 350thb drinks..........

Yes high prices are a recurring theme.

I got a taste of that on visits. Especially restaurants. OMG.

It's definitely a big factor on the CON list when I did my personal pro and con list for repatriation.

Of course, some things are cheaper in the U.S. but overall it's obviously more expensive to live a decent life in the U.S.A. and I have already factored in an overall lower quality of life, perhaps to an extreme level, but I will likely have a car, which I don't have in Thailand mainly because I don't want one or need one here.

[grumpyoldman]

My last post does bring up another culture shock thing and that's the sticker price of a drink at a bar.

Vegas you can find deals, a big beer on the street (it's 2 beers draft in a plastic cup) for 175thb - 5 bucks, but my rum and soda at a bar here in Phuket at 65thb - 1.90US is going to run 8 dollars and THEN a tip. Yes, say hello to 350thb drinks..........

Yes high prices are a recurring theme.

I got a taste of that on visits. Especially restaurants. OMG.

It's definitely a big factor on the CON list when I did my personal pro and con list for repatriation.

Of course, some things are cheaper in the U.S. but overall it's obviously more expensive to live a decent life in the U.S.A. and I have already factored in an overall lower quality of life, perhaps to an extreme level, but I will likely have a car, which I don't have in Thailand mainly because I don't want one or need one here.

You and I are on the same page Jingthing (very much like the Trump threads) but a PRO on your list is the cost of a vehicle. I've been 10 years + here without a car, like you, preferred, driving here drives me crazy, I like my motorcycle, but in looking at used vehicles in the U.S. 2000$US (70,200thb) gets you a whole lot of vehicle compared to here!

I'm looking at Toyota Camrys and Honda Accords with 130,000 miles on them, those engines go 250,000+ in overall good shape for under $2500US.

[Jingthing]

That's true and I don't think that's changed.

I think it's still the case that you can pick up a good running used car, perhaps something like 10 years old, for a very attractive price.

Maybe in a place like L.A. it would be embarrassing to have an "old" car, but how flash my car is doesn't concern me. People who would judge me by my car are people I will be happy to avoid.

Ideally, I would prefer to live in a desirable place in the U.S. where a car is not needed. But realistically, it will be much cheaper to own an older car with all it's expenses than to live in decent housing in such a place.

Edited April 20, 2016 by Jingthing

[kokesaat]

I live here on a bowl of noodle soup for lunch and I'm a happy camper. When in Texas, we'd hit up a Mexican restaurant for lunch and find a full plate of food in front of us. That's a mistake. Yes, the food is delicious......BUT, the aftereffects of eating so much! Even my bowl of noodle soup ordered in a Viet restaurant back in the US was too big for me.

If you don't have a weight problem, then no problem. If you do, then plan accordingly when you go out to eat.

As for all the commercials on American TV......most everyone I know has some sort of AT&T recording system with their cable. Our daughter records her favorite shows.....then watches them at her convenience......and can fffast forward through any commercials. And, if you're a netflix fan, no commercials to worry about there.

Be prepared for junk mail again......and robo calls. One of the joys of living here is getting probably much less than 100 pieces of mail in an entire year......and ZERO robo/advertising calls.

[Jingthing]

Big portions?

Yeah, of course, but that's not a change.

In my experience at Viet restaurants, you often get a choice of size for Pho.

I don't think a "large" Pho is much of a problem ... most of the high meat fat is in the BROTH and if you watch Vietnamese they rarely eat all of the broth.

There is such thing as healthier Mexican ... very easy to get, the beans are not cooked in lard, and no need for cheese in many Mexican dishes.

I agree ... even before I left you could avoid commercials.

Junk mail? I'm sure. Not a change.

Robocalls ... yes I'm sure that's worse. But many more people don't have landlines and I wouldn't see the need for one unless a requirement with internet package. Is that a thing? Do people also get many robocalls on their mobiles?

Edited April 20, 2016 by Jingthing

[55Jay]

There's this trend among younger sets about living the "Thug Life". Perpetuated by the increasingly main stream hard core gangsta rap crowd, it's become the "thing" to emulate across racial and economic lines.

I noticed, moreso in California, that young people use a lot of popular jingles and cliches in conversation. Seems to be more wide-spread now with the internet, Faceplant and the 7/24 media churning out sound bytes for regurgitation by the masses.

Always had homeless people in San Diego, but they did seem more numerous. There's a current issue with younger, more aggressive homeless panhandlers hounding people and getting in their face. I didn't run across this in the areas of Florida we visited recently.

More of a state by state culture shock perhaps, but being from Ca. and having drifted into the atheist/indifferent lane in the past 10 years, I was taken aback with the in-your-face Jesus marketing in Florida. Driving up the Turnpike, there were billboards the size of 747s, that "He" was the solution to whatever ails you, and could also balance your check book. Realize it was probably always like that, but considered the christians could feel threatened by other rising religions and growth of atheist/indifference. A need to remain relevant, and compete for market share, could be driving a more aggressive campaign. Nobody bothered me while we were there, but I did feel like I was in the belly of the beast as churches were as numerous as 7-11s here.

[55Jay]

Sorry to be a hall monitor here, but the bringing up of rickshaws was obviously a BAITING attempt to derail this topic into an irrelevant area. We've had plenty of threads over the years where people try to stereotype and insult expats as coming to Asia in a racist/white colonialist way to exploit the poor natives. NOTHING to do with this topic. Please go somewhere else with that kind of inflammatory garbage.

Of course some people took the bait. That's what people posting such diversions are hoping for.

That said, in the early hours of this thread it looked like this topic was destined to be a total DUD and/or trainwreck. It happens. When starting topics, you can't really predict whether there will be resonance or not.

INSTEAD, the response has rather surprised me and there have been many excellent ON TOPIC responses of real value here.

So THANK YOU for those QUALITY posts. Cheers.

Sorry.

[Jingthing]

There's this trend among younger sets about living the "Thug Life". Perpetuated by the increasingly main stream hard core gangsta rap crowd, it's become the "thing" to emulate across racial and economic lines.

I noticed, moreso in California, that young people use a lot of popular jingles and cliches in conversation. Seems to be more wide-spread now with the internet, Faceplant and the 7/24 media churning out sound bytes for regurgitation by the masses.

Always had homeless people in San Diego, but they did seem more numerous. There's a current issue with younger, more aggressive homeless panhandlers hounding people and getting in their face. I didn't run across this in the areas of Florida we visited recently.

More of a state by state culture shock perhaps, but being from Ca. and having drifted into the atheist/indifferent lane in the past 10 years, I was taken aback with the in-your-face Jesus marketing in Florida. Driving up the Turnpike, there were billboards the size of 747s, that "He" was the solution to whatever ails you, and could also balance your check book. Realize it was probably always like that, but considered the christians could feel threatened by other rising religions and growth of atheist/indifference. A need to remain relevant, and compete for market share, could be driving a more aggressive campaign. Nobody bothered me while we were there, but I did feel like I was in the belly of the beast as churches were as numerous as 7-11s here.

Sure youth culture, slang, and trends are constantly changing and usually disturbing to many older people. Like I said probably easier if you see it coming on gradually rather than quick immersion.

Homeless people ... used to live in San Francisco ...

Yes I have lived in the South so I know about the Jesus in your face thing.

Florida is of course more South in the North but in the Central part I imagine it's still plenty South.

In Southern culture, you are expected to have a religious affiliation. It's typical to be asked what is your church. Being non-Christian is usually OK, but it is much less OK to not be affiliated with house of worship of some kind. Being openly atheist can really be a problem. I may just join a reform temple for the social part of it -- they're almost atheists anyway.

Edited April 20, 2016 by Jingthing

[taxout]

A very big change nobody has mentioned yet: Toody and Muldoon have retired.