is Thailand a good place to find true love?

[BaldPlumber]

In my experience of reading TVF forums, the only way for true love to flourish in Thailand for a farang is to follow a few simple rules:-

1. Be the most naive person in the western world in that you have never heard of Thailand's world class reputation of having the most yo-yo knickered ladies per capita, bar none.

2. Never be tempted to go to a bar. In fact, steer clear of alcohol all together. All thai ladies like a fun, sober guy.

3. Always dress smartly. You will be admired far and wide if you dress in a shirt, trousers, leather shoes and socks and best of all, a tie, in 37°C temperatures. Pour scorn over the uneducated slobs wearing t-shirts and shorts, they know nothing and are an embarrassment to all and sundry.

4. Try to come here reluctantly at the insistence of your blue chip company. As a specialist in your field and respected by your peers you will find your complete lack of knowledge about culture, language and every single aspect of life over here to be absolutely no hindrance to meeting a hiso thai in no time at all. Best to skip over the reasons for why you were mysteriously single in your homeland though.

5. Once you have hit the jackpot and met the hiso thai lady of your dreams and believe me, this will not take long, don't make the amateur mistake of failing to constantly remind everyone that you are not and never have been a sexpat. If necessary, inform people you possess a degree as this is a very, very rare achievement.

6. Finally, never be tempted to post photos of your wife on the internet. Whether posing halfway up a tree or proudly standing in front of her Honda Wave you may find you lose some of the credibility you should have accrued by observing the previous 5 points.

Edited May 1, 2016 by BaldPlumber

[quandow]

Wow! Haven't seen this topic for at LEAST a couple of months!

[n210mp]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

To be totally honest the biggest problem that I have with the light of my life is "COMMUNICATION' or the lack of it.

Yes you can get bye and we do and have done for the last ten years or so but it is painful not being able to get into the detail in a discussion about , well anything!

Body language being 80% of communication means that there is not a major problem in the normal things of daily life but to have a deep and meaningful talk about the pros and cons of anything is very very hard work and after a while you lose the interest in trying to communicate on any meaningful level.

But apart from not being able to have that deep type of debate or discussion is the least of any problems that we have.

In any event after ten years of marriage I find that being able to communicate at a deeper level is just not needed any more because we are able to communicate with that sixth sense that you develop if you love each other enough.

On finding your "true love" in Pattaya

just need a bit of luck really, Most of the men I know have met their wives, partners out of a bar and this means nothing.

Most of the girls apart from those who are bad and I think that these are in a very small minority would and have made excellent partners/ wives.

What I question in those cases where the girl is reported as a "bad un" is what part the farang husband made in making her a bad un!

The quality of those marrying a bar girl and then treating her as a piece of crap is not so often mentioned or documented in these pages.

At then end of the day its all down to luck

Good luck

[simon43]

I speak good Thai, read and write as well. That helps me to converse well in Thai language with women from all levels of society, education etc.

After many years living in Thailand and meeting many Thai women, I find close to 100% of them have nothing between their ears And that is the same for Thai men...

It is not their fault that they don't know the capital city of Venezuela, or have knowledge about world politics. The ruling classes in Thailand and the educational system have gone a long way (for generations) to ensure that the vast majority of Thais are 'isolated' from information that we take for granted, (unless they go abroad for study/work).

Happily, social media is changing all that and it is becoming much harder to keep the ignorant 'ignorant'.

Sadly, there also seem to be many Thais who are not interested in learning about anything outside of their Thai bubble.

My most intellectual and stimulating conversations are with myself

[chicowoodduck]

The dream is over....love yourself and be happy you found a good match.....??

[1FinickyOne]

You are in a place where girls go to make a living, not seek out true love...

This is sort of like going to a library to look for ladies who do not enjoy reading... no?

I live out in the coutnry-side and there are many great ladies who would love to find a decent boyfriend... but finding real love, true love, takes time.. if you were to have met someone on your first day, after 2 months, you would still barely know her...

ps - if you do meet someone, don't forget to check out the family.

[Muzarella]

The big mistake most foreigners do meeting Thai women is that most do not speak same language, and most meet on the Internet or bars. The funny fact about that, is that there are more nice women looking to meet foreigners in better environments, like shows, art galleries, and temples, ...most over 40, and some business owner, or successful professional, some even very rich, and very beautiful. Facebook is a place to make nice Thai friends too. I understand that tourist are looking for fast and easy encounters, but...to getting married or having a serious relationship..it is another thing.

Anyway. In my personal experience, I think that Thai women are very good companion and wives, when good understanding exist. Love is wonderful, but sometimes just a fantasy. Convenience always will prevail..but not necessarily means just money.

Edited May 2, 2016 by Muzarella

[al007]

Try HuaHin quieter and more upmarket, I met my wife there nine yrs ago, so far so good, I know have a beautiful house in Issan

Be realistic financial security for them is very important, I also believe there is a strong element of business in the relationship, and thats OK;there is also a lot of love from both sides

We have a large age gap 30 yrs, this is fourth wife, I have never been happier, never been so well looked after, never been so loved, and so far so good, of course I make sure I am worth more alive than dead to her

In any just for today all very very good, and I watch for the cracks

[al007]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

To be totally honest the biggest problem that I have with the light of my life is "COMMUNICATION' or the lack of it.

Yes you can get bye and we do and have done for the last ten years or so but it is painful not being able to get into the detail in a discussion about , well anything!

Body language being 80% of communication means that there is not a major problem in the normal things of daily life but to have a deep and meaningful talk about the pros and cons of anything is very very hard work and after a while you lose the interest in trying to communicate on any meaningful level.

But apart from not being able to have that deep type of debate or discussion is the least of any problems that we have.

In any event after ten years of marriage I find that being able to communicate at a deeper level is just not needed any more because we are able to communicate with that sixth sense that you develop if you love each other enough.

On finding your "true love" in Pattaya

just need a bit of luck really, Most of the men I know have met their wives, partners out of a bar and this means nothing.

Most of the girls apart from those who are bad and I think that these are in a very small minority would and have made excellent partners/ wives.

What I question in those cases where the girl is reported as a "bad un" is what part the farang husband made in making her a bad un!

The quality of those marrying a bar girl and then treating her as a piece of crap is not so often mentioned or documented in these pages.

At then end of the day its all down to luck

Good luck

May I suggest if we leave it to luck nothing will happen, we can make and influence our luck by what we do, yes we all need luck

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Try HuaHin quieter and more upmarket, I met my wife there nine yrs ago, so far so good, I know have a beautiful house in Issan

Be realistic financial security for them is very important, I also believe there is a strong element of business in the relationship, and thats OK;there is also a lot of love from both sides

We have a large age gap 30 yrs, this is fourth wife, I have never been happier, never been so well looked after, never been so loved, and so far so good, of course I make sure I am worth more alive than dead to her

In any just for today all very very good, and I watch for the cracks

OP is looking for true love

[1FinickyOne]

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

And yet you are often critical of guys who do for their wives, what your wife does for you...

[catman20]

I found true love in a small village when I least expected it. It was just my lucky day.

[Emster23]

Pattaya is not Thailand, imo. It is a state of mind, and even if girl has office job there, they still can pick up "infection" of Pattaya values.

Learn Thai... If someone from outer Slobovia came to your home country and then complained couldn't find love (or speak language) you'd advise to learn local lingo I reckon.

[catman20]

Realky ??? I wonder if your wife feels the same way about you ???

[1FinickyOne]

I agree I need to get out from Patthaya to find a good girl

the point is , I would like to ask to those who have a thai partner: can you have a good communication with your partner?

What language do you speak with her?

I like to talk a lot with my partner and with a thai lady I wonder: can I have a great talk with my fiancee beyond the basic "what you eat" "where you go"?

I would have either to learn thai very well or have the lady learning english to a certain degree

Having good communication with a partner takes time. If you want that to happen in your own language with a lady who has very similar values and ways of functioning, then maybe you are best off looking in your own country. I have friends who decided on exactly that course and I think might be happier for it.

I think part of the fun of having a partner from another culture is that there will be challenges much of which is due to different language and culture. If you do not think of that as an enjoyable challenge, then maybe finding a Thai lady is not for you.

[giddyup]

theguyfromanotherforum

You guys are hilarious simply because you live in a massive denial bubble.

No, she is not a hi-so Chinese, what a bunch of nonsense. She is a regular Thai woman with a job.

And what is this "free" stuff you speak of? It's not free, I am just being treated like an equal she married.

Let me see, this is from your own post,

Living in her house. Free

Health Insurance. Free

I million Baht Sinsod. Free

400,000 Baht Marriage Extension. Free

She must be a very well heeled young lady to outlay all this money for you, and yet has to buy the cheapest seats on the train to Hua Hin.

Edited May 2, 2016 by giddyup

[soalbundy]

Oh do stop it and grow up.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

theguyfromanotherforum

You guys are hilarious simply because you live in a massive denial bubble.

No, she is not a hi-so Chinese, what a bunch of nonsense. She is a regular Thai woman with a job.

And what is this "free" stuff you speak of? It's not free, I am just being treated like an equal she married.

Let me see, this is from your own post,

Living in her house. Free

Health Insurance. Free

I million Baht Sinsod. Free

400,000 Baht Marriage Extension. Free

She must be a very well heeled young lady to outlay all this money for you, and yet has to buy the cheapest seats on the train to Hua Hin.

Now that we established she is not a hiso Chinese, you slap yet another label on her.

She is not rich, she has a job. Let's try this again.... she has a job. A work. Where she gets paid for her time.

And what does a cheap train to hua hin have to do with anything?

Here's something else totally irrelevant.

It's a holiday today and we are spending another weekend at Millenium Hilton thanks to my endless supply of points and rewards. This is how I treat myself and her at least twice a month.

[Toscano]

Going to Pattaya to find Love was a mistake in the first place . My advice to men coming to Thailand to find a wife , is Never consider marrying a Bar Girl or holiday resort worker .

Practically All Thai women marry foreign men primarily for financial security . Once you have frequented Pattaya foreign men are somewhat " Tarred with the same brush " as bar girls .

There is a preponderance of pretty girls and women in Thailand ; Bar Girls of necessity have to be sexy ; but from my experience married 10yrs to a professional Thai lady , is that Thai women in general are old fashioned and conservative . Thai women tend to develop at a younger age , but may also lose their desire for sex early . If sex is a high priority and you like a city environment , you are better off to stay in Pattaya and pay for sex as you go with younger girls . There are really beautiful girls to be found in rural Thailand ; but for western men , life in rural Thailand is boring beyond belief . Unless you are working in Thailand , you must be too young to have a marriage or retirement visa . I advise men 50+ coming to live in Thailand to get a Retirement Visa , which will cause you far less anxiety at Immigration each year . Don't get married , but if you do a Thai style family wedding will suffice , no need for an Amphur official wedding . If things don't work out , you can pack your bags and leave . My wife and I had an Amphur wedding , just documentation at a local town by ourselves ; we didn't have a party , or tell anyone for several days . I didn't pay anything to the family , nor was it asked . I largely rebuilt , modernised and furnished my wife's house as a gentleman's residence .

[giddyup]

theguyfromanotherforum

You guys are hilarious simply because you live in a massive denial bubble.

No, she is not a hi-so Chinese, what a bunch of nonsense. She is a regular Thai woman with a job.

And what is this "free" stuff you speak of? It's not free, I am just being treated like an equal she married.

Let me see, this is from your own post,

Living in her house. Free

Health Insurance. Free

I million Baht Sinsod. Free

400,000 Baht Marriage Extension. Free

She must be a very well heeled young lady to outlay all this money for you, and yet has to buy the cheapest seats on the train to Hua Hin.

Now that we established she is not a hiso Chinese, you slap yet another label on her.

She is not rich, she has a job. Let's try this again.... she has a job. A work. Where she gets paid for her time.

And what does a cheap train to hua hin have to do with anything?

Here's something else totally irrelevant.

It's a holiday today and we are spending another weekend at Millenium Hilton thanks to my endless supply of points and rewards. This is how I treat myself and her at least twice a month.

You are full of it. Noticed you avoided answering the "free" stuff point. Honestly, don't bother responding, you just dig yourself a deeper hole. PS. I would call any Thai "well heeled" if she could afford to outlay 400,000 baht for your marriage extension.

Edited May 2, 2016 by giddyup

[Bernard Flint]

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

So you are skint?????

[Rykbanlor]

I speak good Thai, read and write as well. That helps me to converse well in Thai language with women from all levels of society, education etc.

After many years living in Thailand and meeting many Thai women, I find close to 100% of them have nothing between their ears And that is the same for Thai men...

It is not their fault that they don't know the capital city of Venezuela, or have knowledge about world politics. The ruling classes in Thailand and the educational system have gone a long way (for generations) to ensure that the vast majority of Thais are 'isolated' from information that we take for granted, (unless they go abroad for study/work).

Happily, social media is changing all that and it is becoming much harder to keep the ignorant 'ignorant'.

Sadly, there also seem to be many Thais who are not interested in learning about anything outside of their Thai bubble.

My most intellectual and stimulating conversations are with myself

I also speak pretty fluently and read and write Thai. Had 2 serious relationships here with pretty well to do girls, with good English and a reasonable amount of westernisation to them, dated some chicks with limited English. Even those with good English, plus my good Thai skills, didn't really work out for me personally because of the remaining cultural and language barriers. I am now in a relationship with a lovely Australian lady and we have a certain banter and ease, and can talk about anything, to an extent I never could with Thai girls.

To put it succinctly, I am glad I don't have to spend the rest of my life explaining my jokes and only having deep conversations with friends. This is just me, other people seem to make it work.

[Phaeton]

My experience after one year.

The dating sites, TF and TC: I met some very good girls there. A few were office workers that had been at their work for over five years, i.e. Not pros.

Many people suggest snapchat for meeting girls. I haven't tried that. In the states it really was a "hookup" app. But I think it has evolved from that, and now a lot of people use it for dating.

I lived my entire year in Bkk. I speak only 30-50 words of Thai. I never met a girl on the street-meaning at a restaurant, or shop or mall. And I don't go to bars to meet girls.

My new plan is I have moved to the countryside. Many here on the forum suggest learning the language.

One thing about the countryside is I am more "active" not just sitting in a Bkk condo. So like others have suggested to you, I am living a life, and if someone happens into it, great.

Remember that finding a girl in your home country, a good girl, interesting, pretty, good natured, is very very difficult too.

I see here that many of the pretty girls, have been "taken" by the time they are 25 or 30. Normal.

I think any way to increase your "circle of friends" may help. I have a thought that if I met a person who was a local, and who saw I was a good guy. Perhaps he/she would think about girls in their life who need a man. If you pursue this somehow, the only suggestion I would make there is to have the friend show you a picture/data before any contact is initiated. Several times, over the past year, friends I know connected me on the LINE App with girls who were not my type (for example they had children).

For sure my perception of Pattaya is that the girls are mostly pros. I might be wrong. But I think better for you to get out of there.

[atyclb]

A decent Thai lady is not genuinely interested with you because you came to Thailand to have sex.

I am also 42, been with my wife for 3 years and never paid a single baht for anything, even the wedding.

I hope that answers your question.

She supports you and pays for everything. Really?

Ok, I will gladly go through this again... because it;s so much fun.

No. I pay for outings. That's my thanks to her for.....

Living rent free in her house.

Supplying me with free health insurance.

Putting 1 million for sinsod.

Her parents taking care of the wedding.

Depositing 400k in my bank account for marriage extension....

So you do pay more than "a single baht" then? Someone who has to come on this forum and brag about all the supposed "free" stuff, just doesn't ring true. Let me guess, the lady is a hi-so Chinese supermodel who also happens to be a member of Mensa.

perception and interpretation is in the eye of the beholder, subjective. i didnt perceive any bragging whatsoever. why cant a person say what is true. its almost like political correctness on tv forum means we must not write something that may be true as it can cause others to feel sleighted and insecure or even insulted.

with tons of expats it is more than likely some will have found situations like the poster described. rather than feel sleighted or even jealous why not look at it it and learn from it?

[goonnerone]

I found true love in a small village when I least expected it. It was just my lucky day.

I agree you cant find true love its not a bloody set of car keys, true love finds you or just matures.. I have been with my Thai partner for coming on 11 years now and yes there are times that I would just like to wring her neck but I would not swap her for all the gold in the world.

[goonnerone]

if your looking you shall never find, True love is not a set of car keys you have lost and are looking for its something that happens and hits you out of the blue, true love takes time, take understanding.

[atyclb]

familiarity with the language is a double edged sword. its great for day to day living and getting things done. at least you dont waste time of getting people to translate but you lose time since even in their native language the ineptitude is a huge issue.

the ability to send receive sms and internet chat messages smooths things and opens doors though you will find usually the outside the box high function people have good english ability.

agree with other posters that the % say japan cognitive ability people is staggeringly low. must realize not the peoples fault because society, nationalism. non critical thinking education will do that.

i have some thai friends that are super high function but i think they represent a tiny tiny % of society.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

i think we had this same topic a few weeks ago.It might even be by the same OP.f he didnt get it then,with all the advice he was given.He 'aint' gonna get it now.This might even be a troll post..........

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

I largely rebuilt , modernised and furnished my wife's house as a gentleman's residence .

You mean, you remodeled to have an indoor toilet???

[CharlieH]

"You cant hurry love....no, you'll just have to wait".....cue for a song......