Do you think Thais are actully capable of Love, in the Western sense?

[laolover88]

A zillion words of nonsense have been written about Love. In daily life it pretty much comes down to a reciprocal interpersonal care, interest and concern for each other.

Obviously things like trust and honesty, sensitivity and awareness of feelings, an ability to talk about anything, disagreements without rancor, sex, children, economic mutuality and so on come into it. In the "West" most of this is centered on the couple. In Thailand you have to take into account both the close and extended family, many of whom expect an unconditional love and respect which extends far beyond their childrens' marriage.I have said I think my wife both passionate and violent but these attributes extend to her behavior with the whole extended family.Her obligation to love her family has been ingrained from birth. Because Thais are Thais I am not "her family", in spite of the years and children. In Europe she would be (and is) constrained by a set of acceptable behavior. Not so here! I am often reminded of the phrase "running amok"!!

It seems to me women here are so repressed and insecure while men are spoiled brats. Not a bash! But in my view not a good basis for "Love"..Attempts to understand! Views please!!

[NeverSure]

Do you think western women are actually capable of Love, in the Western sense?

[jeab1980]

"It seems to me women here are so repressed and insecure" I can not identify there. Very easy statement to make. As for your question yes is my answer love is love wether in Thailand or Europe. Love of husband is very diffrent from love of family can not compare both in one breath. So turn question round can European man really love and understand Thai lady???. We argue as mist couples do at start it was not good him culture talk about argument settle argument before bed. My culture not talk about it say nothing maybe all night so no more bad talking. Solution we found husband talks about it says what he feels (says not shouts or argue about aurgument) I listen but say nothing next day all OK kiss and cuddle. We all have to bend a little even more so if married into diffrent cultures.

[happynthailand]

not "NO" but Hell NO

[JaiLai]

No - for sure!!!

Even the ones that have been and still are in a long term relationship would think nothing of 'moving onto the next one' immediately if things went south, seen it happen......very strange.

It's all to do with being kept / supported / taken care of, as soon as that stops - game over, 20 year relationship forgotten about in a couple of days.

[oxo1947]

Honestly--you guys just want to lighten up a little, since I have been living here, I have found that Thai Women just love a farang with a sense of humour,

...........and apparently there's nothing more hilarious than having a few million baht in the bank.......................

[Bender]

yes absolutely! thai woman can love!

a thai couple ( both thai) is quite similar to a foreign couple( both foreigners) in terms of romance and relationship.

But in the other hand, a farang-thai couple is not about love, but more about ฿ and $.

[SoiBiker]

I think they are.

I'm not so sure about you.

[Bender]

I think they are.

I'm not so sure about you.

but but but she throws the first punch....

[Lannig]

By defintion, no.

Different culture, different way of loving.

And I'm not even thinking of the many things that can interfere with genuine feelings in a thai-farang couple. Such as money, of course.

[jeab1980]

You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking.

[bwpage3]

Foolish answers as always.

Ask yourself why you came to Thailand? Was is the floods? The drought? The corruption?

People that are always so negative are the ones that have no idea what a real relationship is whether western or in Thailand.

Is love 2 people caring for each other in the most spectacular way?

If it is maybe you are not doing your 50%?

If you are, you already know the answer to the ops post.

Of course love is possible.

When you have love and respect and treat any woman equally you can have love regardless of nationality.

I am amazed every day how much my wife is still in love with me, so I can tell you it is possible if you are doing the right things as a man.

[thai3]

well depends how much you are spending on them, they can't eat your love!

[Kaalle]

Haha guys come here and date girls way out of their league and who´s main focus is money and then precede to declare millions of Thai women are incapable of love.

Look outside the dating sites, the nightclubs, the bars etc etc. There are hordes of girls and women who have their own money and on top of that integrity and pride, they are looking for emotional stability in a relationship, not economic stability provided by a boyfriend/husband.

[Squeegee]

Yeah lots of excuses about money. Derogatory nonsense too.

One worth picking up on is culture... or how "they are from another culture."

I am not at all convinced by this. Human society develops out of cooperation. It's how cultures develop as people try to live and work together, social beings that they (most of the time) are. Therefore, it stands to reason that two social beings from two different cultures who are trying to live and work together are also able to develop.

The human anatomy comes first, not culture: it dictates that we are also emotional beings when it pumps a chemical into our blood stream and we go into fight or flight mode... that's survival from the days long before there was any "culture", as of course is the same for procreation.

No, sir, if she loves him then she loves him as a woman loves a man, and if he can't see that I feel sorry for his wife.

[samsensam]

Do you think western women are actually capable of Love, in the Western sense?

absolutely. my parents had a long and loving marriage, my brother and male friends are all in long term, happy loving marriages.

i dont get where this western women bashing comes from, though i suspect it's because certain males who have had unsuccessful relationships and seek to blame the other party.

i have many educated, professional and basically wonderful female friends in the west

[Squeegee]

i suspect it's because certain males who have had unsuccessful relationships and seek to blame the other party

Thai, Westerner. Martian, sheep. A bad workman always blames his tools.

[Rhys]

OK...which way does a rooster drop its eggs?

[AZBill]

They will if you're worth loving. Just sayin........

[slipperylobster]

Mine literally smothers me with love.

I have to chase her away, sometimes.

Really! She is very traditional about marriage.

I tend to take advantage, and sometimes I get impatient, but we are a good couple.

If they love you, you will definitely know. If you are not sure...then watch out.

I would not want it any other way. The answer is, there are still a few good ones.

[geronimo]

Buddhists try to remain emotionally detached, so no, I doubt it.

[nausea]

Depends how you define "Love". You could say that "Love" is a primeval human emotion that defies logic. So, in that sense, all women are capable of the same love regardless of culture. Of course, most relationships are not based on that kind of love, so cultural, financial, and other considerations, come into play. Others might even say that love is an illusion, a perpetually unstable relationship where you never quite get what you're seeking. But what do I know?

[Blackheart]

Looks like a lot of people here rushed into a loveless relationship.

Many people grab the first thai woman and marry way to quickly, no love really to begin with.

Then they wonder why things go pear shaped after the honey moon period.

Take your time and have a long relationship before marriage, spend time examining every inch of the closet for hidden skeletons.

Common sense is hard to find in a new relationship when things are shining bright, marry after the lights dim and she still shows you feelings.

[laolover88]

​I should try and elaborate a bit!. I believe my wife does love me and loves the children. But her love is circumscribed by her family: mother, father elder brother her love for whom is based more on duty than spontaneous emotion. Her love for the children is constrained by her determination to control them otherwise they will not learn to became good Thais and a requirement that they are subservient to her. I raise the children in a "European" way and she says that is not helping them to be "strong"! We used to have squabbles about the fact that I picked them up too much. And, of course, she subscribes to the simple belief that a husband looks after his wife economically and that is the basis of love. Marriage has been looked at as an economic or political arrangement for centuries in many places, so you can't complain about that. What I have found slightly unsettling over a couple of decades, and not just in my family, is the sense that personal relationships mirror that patronage/patronized relationship in the wider society.

Realised I cannot spell actually!!

[Stradavarius37]

What an asinine thread

[Dagnabbit]

Foolish answers as always.

Ask yourself why you came to Thailand? Was is the floods? The drought? The corruption?

People that are always so negative are the ones that have no idea what a real relationship is whether western or in Thailand.

Is love 2 people caring for each other in the most spectacular way?

If it is maybe you are not doing your 50%?

If you are, you already know the answer to the ops post.

Of course love is possible.

When you have love and respect and treat any woman equally you can have love regardless of nationality.

I am amazed every day how much my wife is still in love with me, so I can tell you it is possible if you are doing the right things as a man.

I agree.

For those saying no - do you not realize that already shows you disrespect them. That you are the reason you arent getting any love?

[GuestHouse]

Perhaps its a point missed on expats who have cut ties with their own families back home, but this idea of love extending to parents and siblings, the extended familiy responsibilites and caring for the wider family is alive and well in British society.

If it is something you missed out on or walked away from do not conclude it does not exist.

[petermik]

You all have a money obsession. Every time it comes to money you must all be very shallow or very not good looking.

I,m very good looking,ask any bargirl

[Blackheart]

Two thais marry, they have no cash, obviously love is the case.

A woman marries you and believes money is the backbone of the relationship,well that is a woman raised with little moral values that will show in other aspects of her behaviour.

If marriage was not rushed this would have all become apparent before you married her

[kannot]

What an asinine thread

Good job weve got your reply so we can realise that then