To farang men who married Thai women...

[Ron19]

I don't have one complaint about my wife of 26 years,

she will be 66 next week and would pass for early fifties.

This is after spending 30 odd years or so working in rice 

paddies and later some time on building sites.

[smotherb]

On 7/24/2018 at 1:38 PM, Lacessit said:

My GF is 51, and a lot better in bed than most 25 year olds.

May I ask how is it you know how good in bed most 25 year olds are?

 

While I too have a wife past my formally preferred shelf-life, I am constantly amazed and appreciative. Pursuing her was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I guess love does have  something to do with sex after all.

[smotherb]

On 7/24/2018 at 4:00 PM, BritManToo said:

I'm happy with that.

I'll take the 25-year-olds, you can keep your 51-year-old gf.

I was always more impressed by a spontaneous reaction rather than a practiced move. However, some 25 year olds may have more hours on the clock than some much older. 

[melvinmelvin]

On 7/24/2018 at 8:38 AM, Lacessit said:

My GF is 51, and a lot better in bed than most 25 year olds.

 

thumbs up

 

best lays, by far, I have ever had in LoS was with a 54 year old lass,

she beats any 20-25 years old hands down

 

[manjara]

Been married for 16 years now, 3 kids (2 mine), several properties, land in the village up north. 

My friends keep waiting on the next installment of my life, it's like a soap opera! My kids ask me why I stay with her! 

And yet I still can't pull the trigger and we sometimes have a good time together!

The latest one was her paying 300k to a builder in advance (!?) To do some work on the house ! Of course he spent all the money on women and booze and his team quit cos he didn't pay them! Just the latest in a series of unfortunate incidents! Nowadays I just sigh and wonder how rich I would have been if I married one with a brain! Lol

[billd766]

5 hours ago, manjara said:

Been married for 16 years now, 3 kids (2 mine), several properties, land in the village up north. 

My friends keep waiting on the next installment of my life, it's like a soap opera! My kids ask me why I stay with her! 

And yet I still can't pull the trigger and we sometimes have a good time together!

The latest one was her paying 300k to a builder in advance (!?) To do some work on the house ! Of course he spent all the money on women and booze and his team quit cos he didn't pay them! Just the latest in a series of unfortunate incidents! Nowadays I just sigh and wonder how rich I would have been if I married one with a brain! Lol

 

I am a bit luckier than that as my wife paid the builder stage by stage usually in arrears. She also went with him when he was buying the stuff to make sure that we weren't ripped off.

 

Now if she could only remember how she did that when she spends the monthly money I would be happy.

[JaiLai]

On 7/24/2018 at 1:38 AM, BritManToo said:

Maybe and maybe not,

The arguments are mostly beyond posters in this forum as they can't speak Thai.

 

But,

Thai language rules say you never address a human being without using a correct preceding 'honorific'.

For example, when speaking to a Thai, you would politely call them Kon Thai, Nong Thai, etc. Shouting, "Hey Thai" would be an insult as you have just indicated their status in life was non-human, in effect, an animal.

So a Thai calling you 'farang' would be an insult, as they should correctly address you as 'Kon farang' (or Pee, Nong, Lung, Baa, etc.)

Same with all Thai people, If a guy is named Somchai

Pee Somchai, Nong Somchai, Lung Somchai, all correct age relative titles to add before a name, calling anyone direct by name is impolite.

 

Mostly when addressing friends there's no need for all that palava.

 

I'd say it's for more formal situations or meeting people for the 1st time etc / offices / authourities etc.

 

Certainly not required in my experience amongst friends.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, JaiLai said:

Mostly when addressing friends there's no need for all that palava.

1

You call your friends 'farang'?

[JaiLai]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

You call your friends 'farang'?

no, i call them Steve or Bob, do you?

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, JaiLai said:

no, i call them Steve or Bob, do you?

Most of my pals and neighbours call me 'pee' or 'lung', a few female (university) students call me 'daddy'

I don't mix much with foreigners.

Edited August 9, 2018 by BritManToo

[JaiLai]

11 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Most of my pals and neighbours call me 'pee' or 'lung', a few female students call me 'daddy'

I don't mix much with foreigners.

Female students call you 'daddy'.......hmmm

[billd766]

9 hours ago, JaiLai said:

Female students call you 'daddy'.......hmmm

 

Most of the neighbours kids around here call me Daddy too. They range fro about 2 to 14 years old.

[spidermike007]

Not for a nanosecond. I was very fortunate. I found a really exceptional woman. Smart, funny, light hearted, affectionate, independent, clever (she is exceptionally good at thinking on her feet), down to earth, very supportive, kind, and alot of fun to be around. We have been together for over 12 very good years. It was 8.5 years before I proposed to her and 9 years before we got married. Though this is an extreme example, I highly recommend taking your time. 

 

I think the number one mistake alot of guys make here is moving too fast. The number two mistake is giving up too much control.

 

The biggest part of the problem here, is the extreme emasculation that is taking place in the West. Most men, in the US, Europe, and Oz, are no longer real men, when it comes to dealing with their women. Their women have made their lives so difficult, and alot of women have gotten so far away from their innate femininity, and have become dominant, and super controlling, and men just go along with it. Most men have become so hungry for love, or emotionally desperate for some kindness, and TLC. And most are so desirous of being around a real woman, who knows how to act like a woman, and manifest the dignity, within femininity. So, it is easy for the con artists, to take advantage of emotionally wounded men, who seem to be willing to do anything to regain a semblance of normality in their lives, with a decent woman. 

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, or The bottom line is this. Take your time getting to know a woman here, or anywhere. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. The ladies are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. An environment like this allows us to do so. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. Remember,  we left the West behind! Start making the decisions, and stop saying "honey what do you want?". "What will make you happy?" "Where do you want to eat?" I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take if she is a big baby, who only looks like a real woman, but in reality is a 13 year old, or if she is a con artist, if she is only in it for the money, those realizations will manifest themselves over time. Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most of these guys. Be like Bond. be a real man. Man up. Do yourself proud. 

 

As far as the intellectual stimulation aspect of marrying a Thai woman goes:

 

Granted, even though she is very smart, I do not get much intellectual stimulation from the relationship. But, I get so much else. And in all of the relationships I was ever in with really smart women, who I got intellectual stimulation from, there was also so much grief to contend with. Such combative women. So much competition. Yikes. Thrilled to death to have left all of that behind. 

When I was only in this relationship for a year or so, I had dinner with a very sharp American friend. I asked him about that. He laughed. He said, when you feel the need for intellectual stimulation, call me. We can hook up for the meal, and break down the origins of the cosmos. Do not fret. That same brain that gives you that stimulation, also tends to give you so much grief, it is not worth it, on any level. Get over it. Enjoy all of the other qualities, that make your day so delightful and fulfilling. Great advice, that I have followed to this day. 

 

 

And lastly, the one about getting along with the parents is a good one. Often, that is a sign of an emotionally healthy woman. When I used to date, the two questions I would ask were-

 

1. How is your relationship with your mom and dad? How about your siblings?

2. What is the most money you have ever spent on a handbag? Wow. Was that ever a revealing question. The answers were all over the map, but inevitably demonstrated alot about her character. 

 

Edited August 13, 2018 by spidermike007

[claynlr]

On ‎6‎/‎8‎/‎2016 at 1:58 PM, inventorinthailand said:

Why marry? Have had same GF for 6.5 years and we are just fine. She wants to get married but not so important she says. Neither any pressure from her family. Nothing in it for the man, so why this marrying hype in Thailand? Most couples in my home country are unmarried but still lives like a normal family.

I feel the same. Same GF for 4.5 years. She can't get my Social Security unless we marry and live in the States for 5 years I believe? So don't really see the need to marry. Maybe a village marriage when I retire in a year but

all the family and she are cool with the way it is now.

[xtrnuno41]

On 8/1/2018 at 12:57 AM, manjara said:

Been married for 16 years now, 3 kids (2 mine), several properties, land in the village up north. 

My friends keep waiting on the next installment of my life, it's like a soap opera! My kids ask me why I stay with her! 

And yet I still can't pull the trigger and we sometimes have a good time together!

The latest one was her paying 300k to a builder in advance (!?) To do some work on the house ! Of course he spent all the money on women and booze and his team quit cos he didn't pay them! Just the latest in a series of unfortunate incidents! Nowadays I just sigh and wonder how rich I would have been if I married one with a brain! Lol

There is a not so commonly used saying: A woman has one brain cell more then a cow, it prevents her from shitting all over the place

Sorry, ??????

[sirquest007]

On 8/13/2018 at 7:38 AM, spidermike007 said:

I think the number one mistake alot of guys make here is moving too fast. The number two mistake is giving up too much control. 

1

Yes, I've been married before, west European women are so "independent", feel the need to control. (often without the ability to do)

married twice the same girl, together almost 20 years, mostly for the kids.

after our bloody deforce, I was with another western lady, 4 years older than me.

same story, to "independent".

 

what does it say about me? I let them be.   Giving too much control!

 

I love my wife, and we both are really happy.

For most of you, you say we go to fast, and it will burn.

 

To me: If it is good, it only gets better! Every day I love her more, no regrets at all. 

Even if it would tomorrow just blows up, turns out to be smoke and mirrors.. no regrets at all.
That is how good it is. (And give an oscar for long term performance 555)

 

After 6 weeks we got married by her father (monk).. (no sex before marriage)

6 months later we got married in my home country.

 

Our age differs 19 years, to me she's like a dream come true.

no joke, really. And I'm not only talking about the bed.

 

The best advice I ever got was from a Thai lady giving Thai massage (no happy end)

"look at her nails" 

Short nails, she can and likes to work. Long nails, she is and stays lazy.

 

Best advice from Thai Visa: Never invest more than you are willing and able to leave behind. 

Thai is Thai and Thailand is for Thai. No contract is valid if you ever made it to court.

 

At the start, my wife and I both talked about what we are looking for, what we need and what went wrong in the past.

She likes a strong man, and I (for me surprisingly at first) am quite capable to be.

 

For my parents, they can not understand 555 

They ask what leverage I have to "get my way"... 

Like there is any negotiate needed or possible.

I had difficulties not to say "I don't need leverage when i tell a dog to sit"

As it would easily be mistaken that I treat my wife like an animal. 

I don't. Not even try to confuse this.

 

I lead, and for leading I don't need "leverage". I don't need to bribe or negotiate.

Not with my wife or children.

 

From time to time, the "force of habit" sneaks up. I get "to understanding", too soft.

Be with her as I was with my previous wife/girlfriends. Give too much, take yo little.

Not surprisingly, she "takes" to much control, and like 98% better lazy than tired..

 

Surprisingly, when I take back control, she's really happy. Really happy....

Taking exceptional good care of me, make sure I feel happy ????

 

Emancipation is not "being the man in the house" but being the woman in the house.

My wife is my equal, not a man. 

 

Sure, she has done stupid things, so have I.

If she's capable of spending/losing 300k, that would be on me.... 555

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 21, 2018 by sirquest007

[user343434]

12th January 2019 it will be 16 years.

16 years no fighting, no moaning, no arguing.. 

16 years that made me recovering from the 22 years of  marriage with a German woman.

16 years I have always money in my pocket and in my bank account, doing vacation trips, my pension is safe and lots more to say.

 

negative: 16 years I hear only the words: "before i have to find 20 baht for my somtam, now I can buy it whenever I like to."  ...but I can live with that one ????

 

I am sure there are more happy and lucky ones than myself who found the right Thai wife even the average here in this topic says the opposite.. 

[rumak]

On 8/13/2018 at 12:38 PM, spidermike007 said:

Not for a nanosecond. I was very fortunate. I found a really exceptional woman. Smart, funny, light hearted, affectionate, independent, clever (she is exceptionally good at thinking on her feet), down to earth, very supportive, kind, and alot of fun to be around. We have been together for over 12 very good years. It was 8.5 years before I proposed to her and 9 years before we got married. Though this is an extreme example, I highly recommend taking your time. 

 

I think the number one mistake alot of guys make here is moving too fast. The number two mistake is giving up too much control.

 

The biggest part of the problem here, is the extreme emasculation that is taking place in the West. Most men, in the US, Europe, and Oz, are no longer real men, when it comes to dealing with their women. Their women have made their lives so difficult, and alot of women have gotten so far away from their innate femininity, and have become dominant, and super controlling, and men just go along with it. Most men have become so hungry for love, or emotionally desperate for some kindness, and TLC. And most are so desirous of being around a real woman, who knows how to act like a woman, and manifest the dignity, within femininity. So, it is easy for the con artists, to take advantage of emotionally wounded men, who seem to be willing to do anything to regain a semblance of normality in their lives, with a decent woman. 

 

Always remember, if it is good, it is only going to get better. If there are problems, or The bottom line is this. Take your time getting to know a woman here, or anywhere. Time is your ally. It is rarely their ally. The ladies are usually trying to step up the timetable. We need to push back. We need to assert control. An environment like this allows us to do so. Take advantage of that. Be a man. Step up. Pay tribute to the gender. Refuse to lay down anymore. Refuse to be a doormat. Refuse to check your cajones at the door. Remember,  we left the West behind! Start making the decisions, and stop saying "honey what do you want?". "What will make you happy?" "Where do you want to eat?" I have so many friends, who come here, and from the very start, make the same mistakes they made back in the West. Except here, they do not need to make those mistakes. The environment does not dictate that they behave like lambs. Many do not know, or realize that, or they succumb to "force of habit". Every ship needs a captain. If the man is not willing to be the captain of the ship, the woman will take over, here in Thailand. Most women here seem to want a strong man. But, if they end up with a wimp, they will take if she is a big baby, who only looks like a real woman, but in reality is a 13 year old, or if she is a con artist, if she is only in it for the money, those realizations will manifest themselves over time. Time allows clarity. Never, ever move too quickly. That is the undoing of most of these guys. Be like Bond. be a real man. Man up. Do yourself proud. 

 

As far as the intellectual stimulation aspect of marrying a Thai woman goes:

 

Granted, even though she is very smart, I do not get much intellectual stimulation from the relationship. But, I get so much else. And in all of the relationships I was ever in with really smart women, who I got intellectual stimulation from, there was also so much grief to contend with. Such combative women. So much competition. Yikes. Thrilled to death to have left all of that behind. 

When I was only in this relationship for a year or so, I had dinner with a very sharp American friend. I asked him about that. He laughed. He said, when you feel the need for intellectual stimulation, call me. We can hook up for the meal, and break down the origins of the cosmos. Do not fret. That same brain that gives you that stimulation, also tends to give you so much grief, it is not worth it, on any level. Get over it. Enjoy all of the other qualities, that make your day so delightful and fulfilling. Great advice, that I have followed to this day. 

 

 

And lastly, the one about getting along with the parents is a good one. Often, that is a sign of an emotionally healthy woman. When I used to date, the two questions I would ask were-

 

1. How is your relationship with your mom and dad? How about your siblings?

2. What is the most money you have ever spent on a handbag? Wow. Was that ever a revealing question. The answers were all over the map, but inevitably demonstrated alot about her character. 

 

well, mr mike....... i don't give out compliments easily (because most of the farangs i see or have known make the mistakes you point out. )  even my few long time friends here have relationships that i would not stay in.   from slight fender benders to train wrecks....i have seen many.  I don't know if the men are emotionally wounded...... but they sure are needy and try so hard to please.  Of course, some are also just a..holes that think controlling someone is the same as being a strong man.

guess its time for the compliment (smile) :  good job putting your experience into words .  Hopefully it

will help a few that want to learn.  takes a lot of strength to change ones habits though......and often a failed relationship will just repeat itself.

continued success in yours!     rumak

Edited November 21, 2018 by rumak

[USNret]

10 hours ago, See Will said:

12th January 2019 it will be 16 years.

16 years no fighting, no moaning, no arguing.. 

16 years that made me recovering from the 22 years of  marriage with a German woman.

16 years I have always money in my pocket and in my bank account, doing vacation trips, my pension is safe and lots more to say.

 

negative: 16 years I hear only the words: "before i have to find 20 baht for my somtam, now I can buy it whenever I like to."  ...but I can live with that one ????

 

I am sure there are more happy and lucky ones than myself who found the right Thai wife even the average here in this topic says the opposite.. 

My experience exactly (for the past 12 years).  A loving, drama-free household; just what I want & need.  Our worst argument consists of her giving me "that look" for about 5 seconds; an admonishment that I am an insensitive clod.  She is invariably right when she does that, and I have learned to hate "the look" but then it's all over in a few seconds.  

[catman20]

15 hours ago, See Will said:

12th January 2019 it will be 16 years.

16 years no fighting, no moaning, no arguing.. 

16 years that made me recovering from the 22 years of  marriage with a German woman.

16 years I have always money in my pocket and in my bank account, doing vacation trips, my pension is safe and lots more to say.

 

negative: 16 years I hear only the words: "before i have to find 20 baht for my somtam, now I can buy it whenever I like to."  ...but I can live with that one ????

 

I am sure there are more happy and lucky ones than myself who found the right Thai wife even the average here in this topic says the opposite.. 

nice post good to hear your story.

[Prissana Pescud]

On 2/11/2017 at 8:02 PM, hanuman2543 said:

It is an Isaan word what you mean: Baksida  and it is a guava.

Yes, falung is an Issan word for guava.

It is a Thai word for all white skinned, round eye foreigners as well.

Such as most people in my home country call any Asian- (wait for it) Asians and not any particular country. It is a generalised term and not meant for offence.

I have known my wife for 7 years and been married for 4 years. We love each other and this is the first time I have known and felt real love.

In my small villiage, the only people who call me falung are those that do not know me.

All the rellies of my wife try to pronounce my name. It is funny to hear the different attempts.

Just as they get a belly laugh at me trying to pronounce their name.

My frustration is not the ordeals of having a Thai wife.

It is the ordeal of trying to comply with the changing demands of various Thai institutions and the reams of photocopied documents every 3 months.

My Thai file must look like the complete works of the Encyclopedia Britannica and then some. 

[changside]

On 2/6/2017 at 1:14 PM, nuakmuaynina said:

Well I am a farrang lady that married a thai man...whilst I had some good experiences, it was a complete waste of time, and not worth my energy or the heartbreak.   

It is always interesting to hear what a farang lady thinks of Thai men. So unusual to read about it here. It is always farang man/ Thai woman.

Edited December 11, 2018 by changside

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, Prissana Pescud said:

Yes, falung is an Issan word for guava.

BakSeeda is the Issan word for Guava.

Farang is the central Thai word for Guava.

[Prissana Pescud]

51 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

BakSeeda is the Issan word for Guava.

Farang is the central Thai word for Guava.

Thank you. My wife is of Lao ancestry and sometimes I get confused as to what is what. 

I am trying to learn Thai but I suspect it is a hopeless cause. But cheers and thank you, you are correct

[Dolmance]

I despise the term "Farang."  I've been trying to replace the term with "Gringo" instead. 

[nuakmuaynina]

10 hours ago, changside said:

It is always interesting to hear what a farang lady thinks of Thai men. So unusual to read about it here. It is always farang man/ Thai woman.

What do you want to know? Yes it’s is mostly the other way round. I think it’s just difficult culturally and then there is the added factor that as a westerner I earned considerably higher which even for a non Thai man can be hard to deal with. 

 

Like I said had some amazing experiences, and met some lovely people. 

 

but I found out about my ex’s giks, and wouldn’t put up with it. That and lying..

 

[briansbiology]

yes and no. 3 wondeful sons and 10 years of marital bliss, then when after I bought  car and made the mistake of telling her how much i had saved towards a house the gambling started. then the lies..then the fake cancer to warrant more money. fell out with my family and now I am a single dad of 5 (my 3 sons and i still take care of her two previous kids). However i am actually the happiest i have ever been. love being a dad hated being a husband. I can be a great dad and have my freedom. she has no interets in anythign excpet losing her last baht at the card table. I only regret i didnt ditch her before she started gambling heavy as the single life with kids is actually the best for me! would never go back. 

[briansbiology]

yes and no. 3 wondeful sons and 10 years of marital bliss, then when after I bought  car and made the mistake of telling her how much i had saved towards a house the gambling started. then the lies..then the fake cancer to warrant more money. fell out with my family and now I am a single dad of 5 (my 3 sons and i still take care of her two previous kids). However i am actually the happiest i have ever been. love being a dad hated being a husband. I can be a great dad and have my freedom. she has no interets in anythign excpet losing her last baht at the card table. I only regret i didnt ditch her before she started gambling heavy as the single life with kids is actually the best for me! would never go back. 

[fouryesrs]

never regret it not even one split second...I feel very blessed and gifted that I married such a honest and wonderful person....

[fouryesrs]

On Wed Jun 08 2016 at 12:43 PM, tollgate said:

My beautiful Thai wife thought it was acceptable to:

Spit in my face.

Rip shirts off me.

Attack me with broom handles, a heavy wooden chair and even a large kitchen knife.

Break my stuff.

Guess what? I left her. Took me 8 years to do it. Stupid me.

Now she has said sorry and wants me back!

sounds like intensive love