Fiancee Is Arachnophobic!

[helicoptor]

My fiancee is absolutely terrified of spiders! so much so that she cannot even bear to look at a photo/watch tv that has a spider on it. How the hel_l are we going to cope when we land in LOS next month? I have read that Thailand has its fair share of creepy crawlies amongst other things, and wonder what else is going to scare her, gecko's snakes /rats etc. I am not a fan of spiders either but I often have to get rid of them when one turns up - she completely freaks out!!. I am also worried that this fear will be passed onto our son.. What can I do to help her overcome this fear she has?

[ashacat]

I am also scared of spiders, not quite as bad as your fiancee by the sounds of it, but pretty scared nonetheless.

The good news is, I've been livng here for quite a few years and I've only ever seen about 2 big spiders, so theyre not that common (in the cities)

However there are loads of other creepy crawlies. Especially cockraoches

[Mr Jones]

go see a hypnotherapist, a trained one he/she should have an office not working from a back room at his home.

[helicoptor]

go see a hypnotherapist, a trained one he/she should have an office not working from a back room at his home.

Were liverpool 'hynotised' yesterday? why wasnt RF playing?

re. your answer, I will put it to her, worth a try

maybe this guy could help

[Wolfie]

I dont like spiders either, certainly not big ones... all stems from living in a really old building and being 'attacked' by those big wolf/harvest spiders in the UK (long story!)

I can just about deal with the little jumping spiders (albeit they are aggressive little buggers) but anything larger than a 2baht coin and i cant deal with them!

My resolution to this problem... i teach them to read, which involves introducing them to a large book.

Fortunately, as a previous poster has said, theres not a huge amount of spiders in Thailand, or if there is i don't see many! Saying that i say a huge freaky alien looking spider last week, but it was disturbed from a big pile of roof tiles stacked up against a wall for a few months... really weird looking bugger... nobody else spotted it as they were too concerned with the cobra that had also taken up residence under the tiles. (however i fear spiders more than snakes!)

[corkscrew]

My fiancee is absolutely terrified of spiders! so much so that she cannot even bear to look at a photo/watch tv that has a spider on it. How the hel_l are we going to cope when we land in LOS next month? I have read that Thailand has its fair share of creepy crawlies amongst other things, and wonder what else is going to scare her, gecko's snakes /rats etc. I am not a fan of spiders either but I often have to get rid of them when one turns up - she completely freaks out!!. I am also worried that this fear will be passed onto our son.. What can I do to help her overcome this fear she has?

I have yet to see a spider in Bangkok and I have been living here for 7 years....but, perhaps because I am not afraid of them I don't see them.

But, there are lots of vampires here.

[Wolfie]

But, there are lots of vampires here.

hehe

[helicoptor]

My resolution to this problem... i teach them to read, which involves introducing them to a large book.

I have never intentionally killed a spider - isnt it bad luck

I always go for the glass & coaster trick and set it free, before doing so showing my son the capture I dont want him to 'inherit' the fear from his mum

[Wolfie]

i remember reading somewhere that common 'house' spiders are back inside their evicted abode within 2-3 hours of being thrown out.

Bad luck or not, its how i've always dealt with spiders.. ever since i was a small kid!

[leisurely]

Good idea to let your son see you wrangling the spiders . I am not afraid of them, but Mr man is and I have to deal with them all, saying that, we have only the small jumpy ones although I understand they can give a nasty nip . I think as a result of the girls seeing me calmly cope with the removal of them they are at ease. If Mr Man had been the teacher, all three of them would be screaming like girlies.

[Thaiboxer]

An arachnophobic can be cured. It must come through conditioning...that is, conditioning her to accept/handle spiders. You need to start off with something mild like tv programs/pictures. When she overcomes that hurdle, you can then show her a live one in the garden and let her watch you play with it. Eventually, she can try to handle it on her own and she'll realize that the little critters aren't so bad afterall. Don't jump the gun though...give her time to get used to spiders before you have her handle any. Good luck!

[Pink Mist]

An arachnophobic can be cured. It must come through conditioning...that is, conditioning her to accept/handle spiders. You need to start off with something mild like tv programs/pictures. When she overcomes that hurdle, you can then show her a live one in the garden and let her watch you play with it. Eventually, she can try to handle it on her own and she'll realize that the little critters aren't so bad afterall. Don't jump the gun though...give her time to get used to spiders before you have her handle any. Good luck!

correct they can be helped through conditioning, but it must be a professional that administers the program.

good luck

[John_Rambo]

Give her a hammer, take her out into the garden and force her to start whacking them. When she sees how easily she can overcome them, and that she now has a method to deal with them whenever they rear their ugly little heads, her fears will decrease.

[Pink Mist]

Give her a hammer, take her out into the garden and force her to start whacking them. When she sees how easily she can overcome them, and that she now has a method to deal with them whenever they rear their ugly little heads, her fears will decrease.

I dont think so

[helicoptor]

An arachnophobic can be cured. It must come through conditioning...that is, conditioning her to accept/handle spiders. You need to start off with something mild like tv programs/pictures. When she overcomes that hurdle, you can then show her a live one in the garden and let her watch you play with it. Eventually, she can try to handle it on her own and she'll realize that the little critters aren't so bad afterall. Don't jump the gun though...give her time to get used to spiders before you have her handle any. Good luck!

Watch a programme last night that had spider on it. EVERYTIME they were shown she shuts her eyes TIGHT, she says she goes COLD when she sees one, 'bugs' me that she wont even view one on the TV although I am impatient

[Pink Mist]

An arachnophobic can be cured. It must come through conditioning...that is, conditioning her to accept/handle spiders. You need to start off with something mild like tv programs/pictures. When she overcomes that hurdle, you can then show her a live one in the garden and let her watch you play with it. Eventually, she can try to handle it on her own and she'll realize that the little critters aren't so bad afterall. Don't jump the gun though...give her time to get used to spiders before you have her handle any. Good luck!

Watch a programme last night that had spider on it. EVERYTIME they were shown she shuts her eyes TIGHT, she says she goes COLD when she sees one, 'bugs' me that she wont even view one on the TV although I am impatient

sounds like a genuine phobia and my original advice stands, get her into a program soon.

[helicoptor]

sounds like a genuine phobia and my original advice stands, get her into a program soon.

Will do - spoke to her about it and at least she is receptive to the idea - so fingers crossed

BTW - John Rambo - TROLL

[Pink Mist]

sounds like a genuine phobia and my original advice stands, get her into a program soon.

Will do - spoke to her about it and at least she is receptive to the idea - so fingers crossed

BTW - John Rambo - TROLL

point taken about sly

[Mr Jones]

Why the hel_l would you want to kill spiders? In the most part they are harmless; they eat mosquitoes that transmit diseases, flies that puke on your food. Etc

The only spider that to my knowledge will attack when not in danger is the funnel web spider and they are indigenous to Sydney In Oz

[helicoptor]

Why the hel_l would you want to kill spiders? In the most part they are harmless; they eat mosquitoes that transmit diseases, flies that puke on your food. Etc

The only spider that to my knowledge will attack when not in danger is the funnel web spider and they are indigenous to Sydney In Oz

I DON'T want to Kill Spiders! and I use all my effort to stop my missus from killing them when she is 'cornered' by one

I dont have a problem with spiders, my missus does - and I'm asking about best way to overcome her phobia of them, My main concern is her passing this irrational fear onto mee-lado

[Pink Mist]

Why the hel_l would you want to kill spiders? In the most part they are harmless; they eat mosquitoes that transmit diseases, flies that puke on your food. Etc

The only spider that to my knowledge will attack when not in danger is the funnel web spider and they are indigenous to Sydney In Oz

I DON'T want to Kill Spiders! and I use all my effort to stop my missus from killing them when she is 'cornered' by one

I dont have a problem with spiders, my missus does - and I'm asking about best way to overcome her phobia of them, My main concern is her passing this irrational fear onto mee-lado

it's not contagious it's a phobia, an irrational fear and needs to be dealt with. Killing spiders aint gonna help. It's a process of exposure and conditioning, they may never feel comfortable in the presence of one but at least can handle it.

[helicoptor]

it's not contagious it's a phobia, an irrational fear and needs to be dealt with. Killing spiders aint gonna help. It's a process of exposure and conditioning, they may never feel comfortable in the presence of one but at least can handle it.

I know it ain't contagious Bronco but even so.. if he sees how mum reacts when she sees a spider - his thought process is likely to envelope the fear himself, he bethinking.. why scared? he is only an ankle biter at present though .. I dunno - maybe the way I am with the spiders will balance out

[John_Rambo]

BTW - John Rambo - TROLL

Don't throw around misguided accusations at me.

You don't like my advice, that's fine. If you can read between the lines in what i posted you would see that what i'm getting at is that sometimes the best way to deal with an irrational fear is to confront it head on, full turbo. You can speak to all the therapists you like about it, but you've still got to go out there and prove to yourself that there's nothing to be scared of.

[helicoptor]

BTW - John Rambo - TROLL

Don't throw around misguided accusations at me.

You don't like my advice, that's fine. If you can read between the lines in what i posted you would see that what i'm getting at is that sometimes the best way to deal with an irrational fear is to confront it head on, full turbo. You can speak to all the therapists you like about it, but you've still got to go out there and prove to yourself that there's nothing to be scared of.

I prefer Rocky....Rambo was sad bad actor

[kayo]

Alright, well regardless, he's making new movies of both series so ... while I admit I will watch them (free, I'm not paying for them, he is a pretty bad actor... anyway, Helicopter, carefull with the troll accusations... Shouldn't be flung around lightly.

But, there are lots of vampires here.

hehe

:D

Why the hel_l would you want to kill spiders? In the most part they are harmless; they eat mosquitoes that transmit diseases, flies that puke on your food. Etc

The only spider that to my knowledge will attack when not in danger is the funnel web spider and they are indigenous to Sydney In Oz

I must agree with Mr Jones here! (BTW, when are we going to see the flamenco dancers? Jonesy? )

I DON'T want to Kill Spiders! and I use all my effort to stop my missus from killing them when she is 'cornered' by one

I dont have a problem with spiders, my missus does - and I'm asking about best way to overcome her phobia of them, My main concern is her passing this irrational fear onto mee-lado

it's not contagious it's a phobia, an irrational fear and needs to be dealt with. Killing spiders aint gonna help. It's a process of exposure and conditioning, they may never feel comfortable in the presence of one but at least can handle it.

I know it ain't contagious Bronco but even so.. if he sees how mum reacts when she sees a spider - his thought process is likely to envelope the fear himself, he bethinking.. why scared? he is only an ankle biter at present though .. I dunno - maybe the way I am with the spiders will balance out

There are indeed possioble therapeutic cures for this phobia. Personally, I'm old fashioned. I get through situations in me lonesome.

And my thought here was,...

(i don't know if she is the mother of your lad,) Would there be any way to get her to overcome her fear yourselves, by adopting the angle of NOT putting the fear of GOD into your son everytime she is confronted by a spider... IE: That she must be brave and strong infront of her son. (thereby hopeully also passing on those, more valuable values to him.

This is how my mother was with us when we were kids. She hated spiders with an irrational fear too, but when we started to get old enough to be scared of them too, she flipped round and would be like RAMBO (ptp) and "save" us.

I am now like that too, in front of those who fear creepy crawlies.

I still don't like em much though.

Oh, it helps me to bear in miond that Spiders are mostly harmless if left in peace, and often beneficial as mentioned above.

Edited November 14, 2006 by kayo

[tutsiwarrior]

Oh, it helps me to bear in miond that Spiders are mostly harmless if left in peace, and often beneficial as mentioned above.

oh yeah???...when ever I see a spider in my house I am convinced that given half a chance he shall be in my bed and crawling acoss my face while I am asleep for me to wake up in terror and to do the James Bond number in Dr No to kill it then to rush to the loo to vomit violently...

it's happened to me already twice...not quite asleep but you hear a scratching noise on your pillow and then feel a preceptibile creepy crawley on yer face then ...one time in British Columbia the dude was as big as my hand...

I grew up in SoCal where they had black widows and people said that they could kill yuh...never got over it...

there was an animation piece featuring a guy on a neutral background that was trying to sleep...some spiders came and put him in a web...he waked up and shook off the web...this happened three times then in the final sequence he shook off the web to reveal himself as a spider...a really nasty mother to boot...AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH

Edited November 15, 2006 by tutsiwarrior

[Thaddeus]

oh yeah???...when ever I see a spider in my house I am convinced that given half a chance he shall be in my bed and crawling acoss my face while I am asleep

Here is an interesting little fact.

Everyone in the civilised world swallows, on average, 12 spiders a year.... in exactly that situation..... only little ones though

[tutsiwarrior]

oh yeah???...when ever I see a spider in my house I am convinced that given half a chance he shall be in my bed and crawling acoss my face while I am asleep

Here is an interesting little fact.

Everyone in the civilised world swallows, on average, 12 spiders a year.... in exactly that situation..... only little ones though

oh...you lie...you lie like a dog...how could I swallow spiders and still live???...(sob...)

[Thaddeus]

Yip.... it's an old urban myth

http://www.washington.edu/burkemuseum/spid...leyousleep.html

[corkscrew]

An arachnophobic can be cured. It must come through conditioning...that is, conditioning her to accept/handle spiders. You need to start off with something mild like tv programs/pictures. When she overcomes that hurdle, you can then show her a live one in the garden and let her watch you play with it. Eventually, she can try to handle it on her own and she'll realize that the little critters aren't so bad afterall. Don't jump the gun though...give her time to get used to spiders before you have her handle any. Good luck!

Watch a programme last night that had spider on it. EVERYTIME they were shown she shuts her eyes TIGHT, she says she goes COLD when she sees one, 'bugs' me that she wont even view one on the TV although I am impatient

Of course if you ever wanted to break up with her you could just buy a pet spider.