Family Retards and Ya Ba!

[Generalchaos]

You probably know that I have posted a few times about my "Family Retards" regarding borrowing money and their stupid behaviour. Well, today is no different.

We got a phone call at 7 AM today telling my wife that her nephew has been arrested for possession of Ya Ba. No, it is not the first time or the 2nd time it is in fact the 4th time!

He has been in jail before for a few tabs, I think he got something like 18 months. This time however, the retard has been caught with 30 tabs and the cops want 500K for bail ( No, I won't be paying it, nor will my stupid wife be using children's chanotes to guarantee his release)

Anyone have any idea what the outcome is going to be for this? Death Penalty? Life? 20 Years? It really looks like they are in the crap if the cops want half a million for bail!

Not that it bothers me though, if he has been selling this I really think he deserves everything he gets, be it death or life in prison, especially after doing the same thing 4 times.

I really feel sorry for the Grandmother, she is getting the blame for all of this as she was "Left in charge" while his mother was a whore in Bangkok, so unfair on her, she is a good woman, old fashioned, bott a really good and honest lady who has a broken heart tonight and being blamed by the rest of the family. These bast@@rds will not accept responsibility for their actions, always just blame someone else, it makes me sick!

[Cockwomble]

Let the Somchai take responsibilty

[NickJ]

Yeah....not death, I would think three years. your all better off with it gone. Outta sight outta mind. It your fault cause you didnt pay ramifications might get to your wife.

Another reason to marry orphans. And never live anywhere near the family. Good luck. Dont lose any sleep.

[1FinickyOne]

Forget the kid and do whatever you can to help the grandmother... 4x is enough to know the consequences... and when I say forget him, I mean don't waste your money trying to help him, but you can bring him some food and such every once in a while when you are feeling particularly kindly...

Spend time to reassure the grandma that this is his life, his doing... and she could not change anything... not her fault...

good luck to you & your family.

[Generalchaos]

Let the Somchai take responsibilty

I totally agree, but the family do not see it that way, the poor old grandmother who must be about 83 feels she has to intervene. Every time these idiots screw up, she ends up having to sell or pawn her land that she and her husband worked all their life to get! These people need to take responsibility for their actions.

The only good side of this is that the old lady has only one Chanote left, it is valued as a guarantee at 200K, not enough to pay the 500K the cops want, so with any luck, the idiot will be stuck in jail.

I was really interested if he will get death or life in prison, as it seems pretty serious as a 4th offence. Sad really, I knew him since he was a baby and he was a talented artist, now he seems to be past help.

[1FinickyOne]

I don't know what the penalties might be but I would imagine as in USA too, it could depend on the quality of the legal counsel that he gets... the really sad part is the turmoil in the family...

[Generalchaos]

Forget the kid and do whatever you can to help the grandmother... 4x is enough to know the consequences... and when I say forget him, I mean don't waste your money trying to help him, but you can bring him some food and such every once in a while when you are feeling particularly kindly...

Spend time to reassure the grandma that this is his life, his doing... and she could not change anything... not her fault...

good luck to you & your family.

Thanks, I understand totally, 4 chances are more than enough, it really makes me so mad that the old lady is fingered for blame in this. Can you imagine a 70 year old woman trying to bring up 4 kids of her own, then being dumped with two grandkids who just expect everything on a plate? She is really religious, she will not tolerate alcohol or smoking, but the two shits drank, smoked and whored in her home. Now she feels responsible. The mothers of the kids are putting the blame on her for not being firmer with them!!!! can you believe it? While they were down in Bangkok WHORING and sending money back every week that paid for motorbikes, cars ad drink. ( The cars and motorbikes they crashed and wrecked - then expected new ones - A whores life is not an easy one eh!)

I am not sure where I stand with the grandma, I am not sure if she thinks I am "Kee Jee" (Tight ass) as I refuse to pay for their mistakes, My Thai is limited and her English is non existent, but my niece managed to translate a few of my sentiments to her a few days ago which I hoped she understood.

[Generalchaos]

I don't know what the penalties might be but I would imagine as in USA too, it could depend on the quality of the legal counsel that he gets... the really sad part is the turmoil in the family...

Well, if his legal counsel is matched by the family finances he may as well have cockroach represent him! As far as I am concerned he can get the death penalty, at least he won't offend another time. The sad thing is, he was a smart kid, he had a lot going for him, but his mother was never around, his father left when he was a baby, I am not making excuses, he made his own decisions. There is a lot to say about nurture and upbringing, sad it has turned out like this.

[pgrahmm]

He owns the problem.....

Not you OR the Grandmother....

No different than a 4 time criminal in your home country, related or not.....

He sure wasn't thinking about the family when he was out playing his game......He can't be/doesn't deserve to be rescued now......

Console the Grandma if you can - but monitor the collective family pulse on this so it can't turn on you....

You're kind of neither fish nor fowl on this one (not knowing the family from this side of the keyboard)....Lock up the house books or anything else that can leveraged.....

Protect Grandma's assets too.....She sees him still as the little boy or victim & odds are he's got some sway over her.....

[1FinickyOne]

Agreed, sad indeed... I have seen really smart kids, with terrific parents [friends of mine] who would and did anything in the world for their kids and when there is a drug problem, there is often no remedy. These friends had a beautiful young girl, as a teenager, she would run away and spend weeks living in ghettos, doing whatever? to get her fix... and whatever they tried to help, backfired... they had money for the best therapists and nothing ever helped. They tried a tough love boot camp and she never forgave them for it...

It is easy to feel bad for the kid - - but the innocent sufferers are the families. This will likely be a continuing pain. It seems you can deal with it and your real job is not in helping the kid, but in helping the people who feel responsible. And good luck with that. That is where your efforts are needed.

[daveAustin]

Wouldn't be life or death for that amount, up to 10 years I expect. I wouldn't lose sleep over it, waste of space and the best place for him is inside rather than cause problems in the world. But if you want to pay the 500k, donate it to the cops so they can keep him in longer.

Keep an eye on the kids' chanotes.

[Cockwomble]

Somchai needs to learn that there are consequences, dont enable him

[ukrules]

Do nothing, pay nothing.

[tomyumchai]

id not really thought of the consequences of the gf's retard messing up and being bailed as its got a 5km exclusion zone from me and my stuff. i think ill find a better hiding place for the books and chenotes.....just in case.....

[little mary sunshine]

Ignore the situation....Take the grandmother

Out for dinner.

[al007]

These situations cause a lot of anxiety and pain

Unless you have buckets of spare money to throw into the black hole, the only answer is do nothing financially

Even if he gets three years chances are its going to happen again

Best you can do is offer love and understanding, especially as regards the grandmother, who is the true victim

Sorry for your pain

[Doc46]

Sounds like a nice lot that family,,,If it gets to Hot there as in begging and Threatening,Get the good wife and move as far away as possible,good luck.

[BKResort]

Do not get involved.

Some people needs to pay the consequences of their acts to learn in the hard way...and do not let the Police to know that him have a farang "relative".

[Kabula]

His mother was a whore!

That is a very negative statement. You really should not include that content in your post.

Aren't we all whores to some degree?

What some respectable people do in big business would make a whore look like an angel!

And all people are given gifts/cash for a helping hand, a favor, and more. Are they whores too?

Marriage is prostitution! If no money is provided the wife or man leaves for more security-cash!

[Emster23]

"the family do not see it that way, the poor old grandmother who must be about 83 feels she has to intervene"

Well there you have it: the family culture of refusing to understand personal responsibility in the slightest. And just what are those of lesser age doing to help this spoiled fool avoid consequences of his choices? Are they selling what they have? Do they have anything to sell?

It takes a family effort to raise a kid like this. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[hawker9000]

'Sounds like an incredibly maddening situation. So many here on TV constantly sermonizing on "thai culture" and the "thai way", and the need for westerners to be more appreciative & observant of it. Somehow, that advice (and the sanctimony that goes with it) always goes missing in situations like this. I fear the the OP is in for an unpleasant long-term relationship with his inlaws, and poossibly eventually even his wife, if he follows the advice being given here and doesn't pay.. Not that I'd advise any differently.

[SOTIRIOS]

....BKR makes sense....unless they know already.....

...and really...even watch your step.....

...the objective here...time and again is: 'Find someone to 'milk' ".......don't let it be you....

...what happens when half a dozen people make statements against you.....true or not......???

[uthaithanirules]

I don't know what the penalties might be but I would imagine as in USA too, it could depend on the quality of the legal counsel that he gets... the really sad part is the turmoil in the family...

Well, if his legal counsel is matched by the family finances he may as well have cockroach represent him! As far as I am concerned he can get the death penalty, at least he won't offend another time. The sad thing is, he was a smart kid, he had a lot going for him, but his mother was never around, his father left when he was a baby, I am not making excuses, he made his own decisions. There is a lot to say about nurture and upbringing, sad it has turned out like this.

You havent actually mentioned what your wife thinks you should do, if anything, or whether the grandma intends to sell anything to raise any funds.

I keep hearing some members say a lot of farangs finances will go to family trouble.

My experience has been the opposite, with the wife, MIL and Brother in laws wife, all three very tight with money. Had one nephew crash his motorcycle, with all three, none of them would cough up the measly 1800 baht for the hospital bills

[catman20]

i like your honesty, however if you like the old lady a lot why dont you grow some balls and tell your wife to tell the rest of her family what you think and what you are telling us here. man up and stop wingeing here for support.

[alexlm]

My guess is that the 500k thing is a lie...

The same thing about the fact that he did 18 months in jail for "a few pills".

Even drug dealers go to jail one year and then start to sell again...

A few pills is nothing.

[12DrinkMore]

You cannot fix stupid.

Ever.

When I first came to Thailand I used to ask what was going on, the answer was often, "Farang mai cow jai" and they all smiled.

It happened so frequently that now, whenever such episodes occur, I no longer ask what is going on, I simply say, "Farang mai cow jai", smile and ignore them.

What came around, went around, came back and stopped.

Edited June 30, 2016 by 12DrinkMore

[Oxx]

Since he's pretty much inevitably going to do more jail time, what's the point of bailing him out? Won't the time behind bars on remand be counted towards his eventual sentence as it is in other countries?

[Monkeyrobot]

Get the mother to pay she is probably earring more than your income .

[kingstonkid]

If you truly love the grandmother why are you letting her sell the land to others. Personally I would have made sure as much as possible that my wife quietly bought the land. That way at least it stays in the family and I am sure grandma would have really appreciated it.

Personally I think the best thing for the nephew would have been the yaba temple (sorry forgot it;'s real name)

[lostmebike]

Why are you still there?

You must really love the Mrs!