Burning bridges – when can’t expats go home?

[Jingthing]

The place you left many years ago isn't really there any more.

It's an illusion in your head.

It's a different place and you're a different you.

The OP is pimped up, but there is something to it.

Or, to put it another way, "the native never returns".

Like Thailand was home when you first came here? Give me a break.

You go home, you adapt to the changes, and appreciate (or not) the constants.

OP => TRIPE.

How many years (or decades) have you lived away from your home country? I think you're trivializing something that isn't trivial but I do feel the OP is oversimplified, indulges in ignorant stereotypes, and is sensationalist.

Edited July 3, 2016 by Jingthing

[ozyjon]

'' They complain '' please don't use those words, as i don't think they

complain as much as '' they remark ''

I once got a retirement visa for Thailand, i decided this is the place

for me,, i met 2 English not gentlemen in a hotel in Udon Thani at

breakfast, i told them i was going to do my 30 day immigration

report, these not gentlemen told me they come to Thailand for only

6 months then go elsewhere or to their countries for six months.

I pondered this dilemma during my bus journey back to Sakhon

Nakhon,, i came to a conclusion, (a) i'm an idiot ( burning my

bridges behind me is not the most intelligent thing to do

So now i do a bit here a bit there, i'm glad i never married as the

g/f was still tied to her mother and she didn't want to leave,

so to her buy buy and i left.

[connda]

There's nothing stopping me from going back to my home country other than I have no desire to do so. But if I did, am I worry about burnt bridges. No. I've spent more time in one place here in Thailand that I ever did back 'home'. And bouncing from one location to another most of my life I've found that friends come and go and family does too. If I choose to return, then I'll do what I've done all my life. I'll make new friends, and 'family' is whomever I choose to call 'family'.

[dotpoom]

To change one's life all one has to do is change one's attitude......

that's my take on my time here (("here" meaning this world)

[tandor]

Expats can go home. I did.

...erxactly.. keep the emotional shackles on loose if the desperados feel too restrained here.

[returnofthailand]

if you have to go to farangand, u are a true loser. I can live very confortably in Thailand with 15000 baht a month.

Jesus, how much u need to feed your dumb stomach and wash yourself 2x a day here.? I got pretty much all for free and I live in a high rise building with fresh air, fan, lift, water, food market, beach, fruits, .... the 5 stars lifestyle and 0 stress for the price of 9sqm in UK.

in the other hand, if you can not come to Thailand to live here, you are a total loser too. probably you have no cash and your farang wife took it all.

all you need is to work only 5 years in farangand to retire in Thailand(you save, you invest and voila) . losers work 40 years and still can not keep their cash more than 6 months. I know guys who lost all.

then people told me i have to pay tax, I told them I don't need as it s for resident only and I would be gone. my country tax on residence, not on citizenship. this is how I took my retirement very early but people are still very jealous of my 5 stars life style.

they always ask me questions about how it is possible to live with 15k baht, but I tell them sometime like last month I spend less than 9k. they reply "gosh this is what I pay for my cell phone and cable TV" so I replied " what you want in life, be a sheep or be a real free man?" then the reply they have their mom, furniture, a car to pay, and many other kind of dumb excuses.... people are worthless these days. no need to talk to them. just a waste of time.

Edited July 4, 2016 by returnofthailand

[timendres]

if you have to go to farangand, u are a true loser. I can live very confortably in Thailand with 15000 baht a month.

Jesus, how much u need to feed your dumb stomach and wash yourself 2x a day here.? I got pretty much all for free and I live in a high rise building with fresh air, fan, lift, water, food market, beach, fruits, .... the 5 stars lifestyle and 0 stress for the price of 9sqm in UK.

in the other hand, if you can not come to Thailand to live here, you are a total loser too. probably you have no cash and your farang wife took it all.

all you need is to work only 5 years in farangand to retire in Thailand(you save, you invest and voila) . losers work 40 years and still can not keep their cash more than 6 months. I know guys who lost all.

then people told me i have to pay tax, I told them I don't need as it s for resident only and I would be gone. my country tax on residence, not on citizenship. this is how I took my retirement very early but people are still very jealous of my 5 stars life style.

they always ask me questions about how it is possible to live with 15k baht, but I tell them sometime like last month I spend less than 9k. they reply "gosh this is what I pay for my cell phone and cable TV" so I replied " what you want in life, be a sheep or be a real free man?" then the reply they have their mom, furniture, a car to pay, and many other kind of dumb excuses.... people are worthless these days. no need to talk to them. just a waste of time.

It is not always a question of money. Some people have other obligations that can force them to return to their country of origin. Family being one of those obligations.

[blazes]

if you have to go to farangand, u are a true loser. I can live very confortably in Thailand with 15000 baht a month.

Jesus, how much u need to feed your dumb stomach and wash yourself 2x a day here.? I got pretty much all for free and I live in a high rise building with fresh air, fan, lift, water, food market, beach, fruits, .... the 5 stars lifestyle and 0 stress for the price of 9sqm in UK.

in the other hand, if you can not come to Thailand to live here, you are a total loser too. probably you have no cash and your farang wife took it all.

all you need is to work only 5 years in farangand to retire in Thailand(you save, you invest and voila) . losers work 40 years and still can not keep their cash more than 6 months. I know guys who lost all.

then people told me i have to pay tax, I told them I don't need as it s for resident only and I would be gone. my country tax on residence, not on citizenship. this is how I took my retirement very early but people are still very jealous of my 5 stars life style.

they always ask me questions about how it is possible to live with 15k baht, but I tell them sometime like last month I spend less than 9k. they reply "gosh this is what I pay for my cell phone and cable TV" so I replied " what you want in life, be a sheep or be a real free man?" then the reply they have their mom, furniture, a car to pay, and many other kind of dumb excuses.... people are worthless these days. no need to talk to them. just a waste of time.

"People are worthless these days"????? Let's not forget, dude, that you too are one of the people....

[sirineou]

if you have to go to farangand, u are a true loser. I can live very confortably in Thailand with 15000 baht a month.

Jesus, how much u need to feed your dumb stomach and wash yourself 2x a day here.? I got pretty much all for free and I live in a high rise building with fresh air, fan, lift, water, food market, beach, fruits, .... the 5 stars lifestyle and 0 stress for the price of 9sqm in UK.

in the other hand, if you can not come to Thailand to live here, you are a total loser too. probably you have no cash and your farang wife took it all.

all you need is to work only 5 years in farangand to retire in Thailand(you save, you invest and voila) . losers work 40 years and still can not keep their cash more than 6 months. I know guys who lost all.

then people told me i have to pay tax, I told them I don't need as it s for resident only and I would be gone. my country tax on residence, not on citizenship. this is how I took my retirement very early but people are still very jealous of my 5 stars life style.

they always ask me questions about how it is possible to live with 15k baht, but I tell them sometime like last month I spend less than 9k. they reply "gosh this is what I pay for my cell phone and cable TV" so I replied " what you want in life, be a sheep or be a real free man?" then the reply they have their mom, furniture, a car to pay, and many other kind of dumb excuses.... people are worthless these days. no need to talk to them. just a waste of time.

There is a lot more to life than feeding your stomach and washing your self.

your theory of losers and winners reminds me of the monkeys I seen last weekend when I visited the zoo. One little one sat on a branch wanking off all day long. I bet he thought of the same as he watched all the human visitors ,with their jobs ,ambitions and interests. What a bunch of losers!!

[Jingthing]

Calling people "losers" that have different values than you, make different choices than you, find themselves in different circumstances than you -- is so donald trump. Just dumb.

Edited July 4, 2016 by Jingthing

[GarryP]

many unreasonable replies attempting to justify decisions.

Any expat living in Thailand should have a plan B to return Home if needed. Hopefully it will not, but one does not know what the future will bring.

Say what you will, you will never be Thai, and you will always be ,xyz.

Look at your parents, how was their health when they got old? why do you think you will not be the same? Will the social and medical system in Thailand take care of you when you cant?

Make love not war, but be prepared for both.

One size does not fit all. Left the UK at 19. Been here since then. I am now a Thai citizen. Going to visit my father in a couple of weeks. He's 85 and healthy. Mother died at age 60 of cancer of the womb, something I am unlikely to suffer from - being a bloke. First time back to my home town in 27 years. Thailand is my home.

[sirineou]

many unreasonable replies attempting to justify decisions.

Any expat living in Thailand should have a plan B to return Home if needed. Hopefully it will not, but one does not know what the future will bring.

Say what you will, you will never be Thai, and you will always be ,xyz.

Look at your parents, how was their health when they got old? why do you think you will not be the same? Will the social and medical system in Thailand take care of you when you cant?

Make love not war, but be prepared for both.

One size does not fit all. Left the UK at 19. Been here since then. I am now a Thai citizen. Going to visit my father in a couple of weeks. He's 85 and healthy. Mother died at age 60 of cancer of the womb, something I am unlikely to suffer from - being a bloke. First time back to my home town in 27 years. Thailand is my home.

Sure Garry, you are absolutely right, One size does not fit all. You have made an all in decision , and nothing wrong with that, My parents made the same decision when they migrated to the US. They went all in, for better or for worst. and made a life there , much as you did in Thailand. But you must agree, your situation is not the norm for most expats in Thailand. Most of them are not Thai citizens, with the benefits such privilege affords. Most of them do not even speak the language or understand the culture. For them a plan B is essential IMO. They dont have the safety nets you have developed, when things go south for them, as they most likely will at some point of their lives, they need to have an exit strategy. To me it sounds like a reasonable attitude.

[Thingamabob]

Yawn. Next...

[sirineou]

Yawn. Next...

and now you have 34 posts

[GarryP]

many unreasonable replies attempting to justify decisions.

Any expat living in Thailand should have a plan B to return Home if needed. Hopefully it will not, but one does not know what the future will bring.

Say what you will, you will never be Thai, and you will always be ,xyz.

Look at your parents, how was their health when they got old? why do you think you will not be the same? Will the social and medical system in Thailand take care of you when you cant?

Make love not war, but be prepared for both.

One size does not fit all. Left the UK at 19. Been here since then. I am now a Thai citizen. Going to visit my father in a couple of weeks. He's 85 and healthy. Mother died at age 60 of cancer of the womb, something I am unlikely to suffer from - being a bloke. First time back to my home town in 27 years. Thailand is my home.

Sure Garry, you are absolutely right, One size does not fit all. You have made an all in decision , and nothing wrong with that, My parents made the same decision when they migrated to the US. They went all in, for better or for worst. and made a life there , much as you did in Thailand. But you must agree, your situation is not the norm for most expats in Thailand. Most of them are not Thai citizens, with the benefits such privilege affords. Most of them do not even speak the language or understand the culture. For them a plan B is essential IMO. They dont have the safety nets you have developed, when things go south for them, as they most likely will at some point of their lives, they need to have an exit strategy. To me it sounds like a reasonable attitude.

Yes, actually I do agree with you. My situation is far from the norm.

[SOTIRIOS]

....an excuse for a paycheck.....

...good luck when your 'situation' runs out.....

[rickudon]

I visit UK once a year to see family there. Would i return permanently? Possibly. Don't have a home which is a problem, but if i won the lottery i could buy a home and find the money to take my Thai wife and daughter there - possibly for my daughters education. If i became seriously ill might return home for treatment to avoid bankrupting us .... would leave if civil war broke out ...... the possibilities are endless. Currently no plan to leave.

[Agent Sumo]

There's not much fun in the UK if you're over 45 but in Thailand you can carry on having fun, eating well, listening to music, seeing girls for fun and travelling cheaply right up to your 70s. In the UK the brainwashed PC generation are depressing as is the Islamification of the country. But I have not burned my bridges. I have a property here which I rent out and a family and community I visted once a year. I try to keep my NHS account but basically returning to the UK is brain damagingly depressing and returning here permanently a depressing prospect. 3 weeks is more than enough.

Rubbish

I'm 48 I went back to London in January this year; it was a hoot. Pulled the motor out of the garage, dropped the roof, cranked up the stereo and blasted up the A40 (with the heating on full blast)

Surprised a couple of ex-flames, met up with the (divorced) lads, cut up a rug in the West End, saw family and marveled at how many different languages I could hear being spoken on the street

London is still one of the world's top 3 greatest cities and, if push came to shove here, I don't think it'd be a big deal to move back.

The women are still great looking and any bloke with even a thimble-full of game can do well there

[StreetCowboy]

There's not much fun in the UK if you're over 45 but in Thailand you can carry on having fun, eating well, listening to music, seeing girls for fun and travelling cheaply right up to your 70s. In the UK the brainwashed PC generation are depressing as is the Islamification of the country. But I have not burned my bridges. I have a property here which I rent out and a family and community I visted once a year. I try to keep my NHS account but basically returning to the UK is brain damagingly depressing and returning here permanently a depressing prospect. 3 weeks is more than enough.

Rubbish

I'm 48 I went back to London in January this year; it was a hoot. Pulled the motor out of the garage, dropped the roof, cranked up the stereo and blasted up the A40 (with the heating on full blast)

Surprised a couple of ex-flames, met up with the (divorced) lads, cut up a rug in the West End, saw family and marveled at how many different languages I could hear being spoken on the street

London is still one of the world's top 3 greatest cities and, if push came to shove here, I don't think it'd be a big deal to move back.

The women are still great looking and any bloke with even a thimble-full of game can do well there

You need serious metal health work done if you think London is as good as that it's a seething sespit of Coruption. Spot the English man the place is a discrete to the UK

There was never any English in London. When I was there thirty years ago they were Irish to a man; maybe now it's more varied

[StreetCowboy]

We (meaning The Clan) expatriated with no intention of returning home, but politics forced our hand, and we returned to The Old Country. I made a go of it again, but for the sake of the kids' education The Clan repatriated again, though I continue to soldier away on foreign soil, and have not thought as far ahead as a possible repatriation, content to mercenary away amongst these green hills...

[Odysseus123]

This is an interesting thread and I have found it most helpful in trying to put my own thoughts and feelings in order.

Having traveled extensively throughout my life-for business and pleasure-I deliberately chose Thailand as a place to retire to and I still think that I made the right decision.

However there is no doubt that I am experiencing a period of the "5 year blues" generally associated with watching a family destroy its own restaurant (which I had financially supported) primarily due to the dysfunctional nature of the relationship between the mother (my wife) and her son,I guess that 5 years ago I did not really take the full ramifications of this type of Thai relationship into account.

Yet I still love Thailand and a trip back to my homeland last year merely reinforced the major reason as to why I left in the first place which is that I found suburbia in my own country to be incredibly boring,especially after medical retirement.The main topics of conversation seemed to be centered around mortgages,school fees,credit card debts and renovating the kitchen.

The slightly dotty traveler that had re-emerged in their midst was not a challenge but a bit of an embarrassing encumbrance and even tho' I have never been to Pattaya and have not been a frequenter of the bar scene the message was clear.-"A dirty old man just back from the brothels of Asia."One of the reasons that I left in the first place is that they treated my Thai lady friend with both overt and covert disdain and I despised them for their arrogance,ignorance and overt racism directed towards Asian women.

My bridges were burnt,not by me,but by the parochial and insular "friends" that I knew who,irrespective of how many emails and photos I sent them of festivals,Thais at work and play,people getting together for a fun time and friends that I have met here (Thai and foreign) absolutely refused to change their narrow views of the world and their blatant white supremacist racist perspective.

Hopefully I will get over my fit of the "blues" and work things out but,irrespective of whether I do or not,I think it has been an amazing and interesting adventure.

Edited July 5, 2016 by Odysseus123

[pgrahmm]

Burning bridges when cant expats go home?

expat.jpg

A lot of comments have been written on Thaivisa recently by expats who seem to have had enough of Thailand. For them paradise seems to have been lost.

They cite what they perceive as the exploding crime wave sweeping the nation making it unsafe to so much as breathe. They complain about the economy affecting only them causing undue hardship. They whine about lack of acceptance in Thailand moaning that the locals only care for their money.

They feel unloved and disrespected, somehow taken advantage of. They have been here for years and years and they want out to return to where the grass is always greener- the land that they dumped in the first place because Thailand and its people seemed so attractive and alluring.

But is it as simple as that can people just up sticks and go to the country of their birth as though nothing has happened in the intervening years. Are they not deluding themselves about how those years have changed them, making it impossible to return? Will they be accepted in the society they have spurned?

Indeed have they not burnt their bridges stranding them in a country where they are bitter and disappointed? Marooned in a limbo of misery they are now homeless and bereft of hope marking time unhappily until the grim reaper calls.

So when is it that expats get to a point when there is no turning back do some experience the feeling a long time before others. Do some always think they can return to what is familiar and safe? Have some returned happily after five, ten twenty or thirty years as if nothing has happened. Or do many feel it is just impossible to turn back the clock. Are some stuck with a feeling they have nowhere to call home anymore?

Certainly some seem to have nowhere left to turn there seem to be many cases where expats are desperate enough to end it all in Thailand.

Full story: http://www.inspirepattaya.com/lifestyle/burning-bridges-cant-expats-go-home/

-- Inspire Pattaya 2016-07-03

[baneko]

Been around the world a bit chasing black gold....always kept a property in Scotland for an extra income and a possible get away. You know things can go tits up at any stage.

Went back for 5 days around 3rs ago and was desperate to get back asap.

As for the UK I think its on its ass at the moment.

Thailand is definately getting more difficult to live....but not same as the UK.

As for making money...you need a fifo job and live rural if possible. If not have a plan and dont go out every night.....

Going home is currently not a plan but you never know. Make a plan for the great escape.