Just want to make sure I'm not being scammed

[markymarkey]

Hi guys,

I'm a gay guy that met Thai guy online via a gay dating app whilst he was in the UK visiting family. We hit it off really well and he seems genuine, but I've heard so many stories of gay and straight foreign guys being scammed by Thai girls and guys alike. So I just want to figure out how I can be sure its not all just a scam. We've organised to meet up and travel around Thailand together, he's paying half of the travel costs and paying me his half via PayPal before I've even arrived. And he's buying my domestic flight from don Muang airport to Chiang rai where he lives. I've made him very aware that I will be suspicious for a good while and he says he understands and it frustrates him that he has to deal with things that other Thai people have done to scam money out of foreigners, because so many guys he's talked to don't believe he's legitimately after a genuine relationship.

We've spent hours talking on skype and there's obvious chemistry and mutual interests and ways of thinking.

He even gave me the email and password to his facebook account which I didn't ask for.

what do you all think?

[allane]

In 21 years here, I could count on one hand the number of times a Thai person has ever offered to buy me anything. But, it is hard to see that you have much to lose, other than the prospect of a romance. If you're ever asked to provide cash in advance, that changes everything.

[robblok]

There are plenty of good Thai guys and girls as long as your of similar age and looks there is less of a chance of getting scammed. (there is always a chance but I have had many good experiences and few bad ones). But you need to judge it yourself. If you are spending hours talking then just think would all that time be worth the money he can scam from you ? I have had online relationships with a girl before I came to Thailand, I did not get scammed at all. 

There are loads of good ones around they are just harder to find and it takes more effort to court them then the ones that are after money. If i see a girl half my age going after me with a lot of interest and she is a stunner.. then I get cautious because she can do much better than me in her own age range. Now it does happen that girls like that are genuine but less of a chance. Thing is once your in Thailand its easier to learn. Just don't believe all the grumpy old guys who forget to think with their brain instead of their....  they forget that they are not a catch at all and its their money that does the catching. 

They pay their GF a salary and stuff like that and think its love, relations based on money seldom end well. In my circle of friends I know a lot of youngish guys with girls close to their age.. never a problem. One guy even got supported by his GF that made more money than him. I also know an older guy and he has no problems either.. he just good at spotting them. 

[rickthailand]

i think if he pays his half before you come what are you scared about? just see how it goes and

enjoy

 

rick

[Sharp]

As allane replied I  have rarely heard of a Thai paying in advance for anything. 

Be vary weary my friend just in case it doesn't work out and he goes to the police with evidence he's given you money and YOU tried to scam him. 

It would take a lot of cash to get out of jail and pay him and possibly the police off for your freedom. 

[ezzra]

 

If it looks too good to be true, it's probably is, goes the old adage, all you can do I guess, is to be

vigilant and wary until you're 100% sure, and even than, keep your wits about you....

[robblok]

7 minutes ago, Sharp said:

As allane replied I  have rarely heard of a Thai paying in advance for anything. 

Be vary weary my friend just in case it doesn't work out and he goes to the police with evidence he's given you money and YOU tried to scam him. 

It would take a lot of cash to get out of jail and pay him and possibly the police off for your freedom. 

Talk about super jaded 

[Sharp]

3 minutes ago, robblok said:

Talk about super jaded 

Not really my friend just it's just something I saw happen to a pal of mine and a Thai girl when she got real upset when he wasn't interested and told her it's wasn't going to work out  but didn't want to use it as an example!! 

[robblok]

6 minutes ago, Sharp said:

Not really my friend just it's just something I saw happen to a pal of mine and a Thai girl when she got real upset when he wasn't interested and told her it's wasn't going to work out  but didn't want to use it as an example!! 

Ah you mean the type of guy that uses girls and then dumps them after he had his fun. Yea sometimes girls don't like that and get nasty. It happens if you play that game.

[robblok]

I seen guys with no intention at all of being serious hooking up with girls acting all sincere and then after they got what they wanted dump them. Also guys juggling around multiple girls at the same time and then acting surprised if some dont take it and lash out.

Sure there are bad girls around too, but in general if you treat them fair and are in a similar age group / looks then there are plenty of good ones around. 

Guess it does depend where you look.. in Pattaya it might be a lot harder than in BKK.

[Sharp]

40 minutes ago, robblok said:

I seen guys with no intention at all of being serious hooking up with girls acting all sincere and then after they got what they wanted dump them. Also guys juggling around multiple girls at the same time and then acting surprised if some dont take it and lash out.

Sure there are bad girls around too, but in general if you treat them fair and are in a similar age group / looks then there are plenty of good ones around. 

Guess it does depend where you look.. in Pattaya it might be a lot harder than in BKK.

You won't get an argument from me robblok, have to agree with you based on my experiences although the guy in question wasn't really a player but learnt an expensive lesson. 

[robblok]

4 minutes ago, Sharp said:

You won't get an argument from me robblok, have to agree with you based on my experiences although the guy in question wasn't really a player but learnt an expensive lesson. 

It can happen to the wrong guy, and I am sure there are ladies and guys out there that are just bad. But in general there is not a big problem if you play by the rules. I would hate to go through life assuming everyone is out there to scam me. I have seen many genuine guys and ladies here that withstanding I have been scammed once before i lived here by a Thai woman. It was a bad marriage .. she was older than me.. had a shop (did I know that a beauty-shop was nothing I was 24 and first time in Thailand). I got married and it quickly turned out that she was after money and then she already lived with me and her kids were with me too. Fast forward a few years (first year was good other years were bad but I wanted to be good for the daughters) there was a divorce that cost me money (had a pre nup so not too much). But now 17 years later the daughters still come to visit me when they are in Thailand (they live in Europe because of me) 

As a matter of fact I got one over right now (still sleeping) who is visiting me and her real dad, i just wont condemn a whole country full of people because of the action of a few. I have met many wonderful people in my time here met bad ones too. After a while you learn to spot who is who, but if you treat everyone as if they want to scam you it will make life hard on you and those around you. 

[williamgeorgeallen]

i would say as the age gap increases the chance it is a scam increases. your new mate does seem very keen to try to get you to trust him. just play safe and dont let your pecker out run your brain.

Edited August 2, 2016 by williamgeorgeallen

[Deepinthailand]

from gay lover/friend to younger girls already and they will scam you brigade are sharpening there claws as we speak.

listen i expect you are old enough and wise enough to look after yourself. As for the so called horror stories of scam scam scam, divide it by 2 take away 1 and the rest is half false in other words someone knows a friend of a friend who was gullible enough to give his money away. But in my experience here I have not yey met face to face with someone who has been fleeced, more likely to read all about it on here. Just enjoy yourselves and stop worrying

[ClutchClark]

Rather than post this in General Topics, maybe you could get more specific responses in the Gay Forum.

It appears from the above posts that most of us have experience with Thai women but not with Thai men. 

I hope it works out well for you.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, Sharp said:

As allane replied I  have rarely heard of a Thai paying in advance for anything.

Be vary weary my friend just in case it doesn't work out and he goes to the police with evidence he's given you money and YOU tried to scam him.

It would take a lot of cash to get out of jail and pay him and possibly the police off for your freedom.

Just the fact that ANYONE would offer to pay anything sight unseen makes me think this is a long con. As Sharp says, it's easy to get someone put in jail here, and a lot of money to get out.

I may be old fashioned, but I like to handle the goods before I pay.

Con men suceed BECAUSE they are always plausible. OTY.

[thaibeachlovers]

6 hours ago, robblok said:

It can happen to the wrong guy, and I am sure there are ladies and guys out there that are just bad. But in general there is not a big problem if you play by the rules. I would hate to go through life assuming everyone is out there to scam me. I have seen many genuine guys and ladies here that withstanding I have been scammed once before i lived here by a Thai woman. It was a bad marriage .. she was older than me.. had a shop (did I know that a beauty-shop was nothing I was 24 and first time in Thailand). I got married and it quickly turned out that she was after money and then she already lived with me and her kids were with me too. Fast forward a few years (first year was good other years were bad but I wanted to be good for the daughters) there was a divorce that cost me money (had a pre nup so not too much). But now 17 years later the daughters still come to visit me when they are in Thailand (they live in Europe because of me)

As a matter of fact I got one over right now (still sleeping) who is visiting me and her real dad, i just wont condemn a whole country full of people because of the action of a few. I have met many wonderful people in my time here met bad ones too. After a while you learn to spot who is who, but if you treat everyone as if they want to scam you it will make life hard on you and those around you.

After a while you learn to spot who is who

Have to disgree with you. I have been backstabbed by farangs I was friends with for over 20 years and never saw if coming. Also taken in by my ex. Common theme is that I was too trusting and not cynical enough.

[ClutchClark]

I suggest the OP send a message to JingThing. 

He has alot of experience in Thailand and I think he is a gay man. 

He might have heard of this type of hustle...IF it is a hustle.

Maybe its just an honest Thai male who has enough financial security to take a risk for a chance at a good relationship. 

 

[neverdie]

7 minutes ago, ClutchClark said:

I suggest the OP send a message to JingThing. 

He has alot of experience in Thailand and I think he is a gay man. 

He might have heard of this type of hustle...IF it is a hustle.

Maybe its just an honest Thai male who has enough financial security to take a risk for a chance at a good relationship. 

 

5555555

contact JT for all things gay & baht bus advice 

 

RAOFLAO

[robblok]

5 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

After a while you learn to spot who is who

Have to disgree with you. I have been backstabbed by farangs I was friends with for over 20 years and never saw if coming. Also taken in by my ex. Common theme is that I was too trusting and not cynical enough.

Some people learn faster than others.. some will never learn. 

 

I would hate to go through life suspecting everyone. 

[chicowoodduck]

Buyer beware...???

[Emster23]

I would suggest leave your itinerary with trusted friend(s) back home, and arrange to Skype them daily. May be genuine guy or as some suggest, may be the "long con"... get that trust and then BOOM! "what happened???"

[bangkapi]

My crystal ball sees drama.

[FengShuiHouse]

The thing about paypal is that you have 45 days or so to reclaim payments/transfers as a protection. All sender has to do is claim he didn't receive whatever he transferred the money for within 45 days. I'd ask for a bank transfer which isn't much more of a hazzle anyway. If he does that then you can atleast rule out retroactive scamming. But trust can take years to develop, certainly down here. You'll know it's there when you no longer think about it.

[Bardeh]

I don't understand why he needs to send you money anyway. Why can't he pay his costs, and you pay yours? No money needs to change hands between the two of you at all.

[bark]

Nothing to worry about. All the rumors about scams in Thailand are not true.

I am a Gay African Prince, and I will be getting 18 million  USD next year from my father. He told me I will have to pay the

tax ( $ 231,896 ). If you want to come here and get married to me. Just bring the 200 thousand with you. We will live happy life together with all the money. Again, there are no scams in Thailand; nothing to worry about.

I think I also will get 6 camels , and 11 goats.

[1FinickyOne]

He is paying half your costs and you are worried he is scamming you? Sounds more like... ??

 

There are too many posts on Thai visa about people feeling scammed if they only get 19 french fries when last time they got 20 at KFC... 

 

That said, it is a different culture with different sets of values as to what is right or wrong. Usually you can't lose more than you put on the table. Just keep your eyes open and relax. 

 

Common sense usually helps. 

[Aussieroaming]

Worst case scenario is that you pay for his part of the holiday..no biggie

[GOLDBUGGY]

On ‎8‎/‎2‎/‎2016 at 8:31 AM, robblok said:

I seen guys with no intention at all of being serious hooking up with girls acting all sincere and then after they got what they wanted dump them. Also guys juggling around multiple girls at the same time and then acting surprised if some dont take it and lash out.

Sure there are bad girls around too, but in general if you treat them fair and are in a similar age group / looks then there are plenty of good ones around. 

Guess it does depend where you look.. in Pattaya it might be a lot harder than in BKK.

You made some good points but what is it with you and this age thing? Did you have a bad experience or are you just a younger guy guessing?

 

I don't know where you are from but in my Home Country Couples tend to get married close to heir own age and the Divorce Rate their is about 50%. I was a good example of that. In Thailand I have had much better success and I see and know of several Winter-Summer Relationships, although I am sure they all don't work out perfectly either. But even though they don't keep official records of this I am sure that this Divorce Rate in these Winter-Summer Relationships are not as high as this normal 50% or worst than that.

 

In my Home Country it is also not unusual for a Man and his Wife to share assets and bank accounts, when the Man is earning a far higher income, or even when his wife is a stay at home mom. Again I speak form experience. So it surprises me when so many other people talk so negatively about a man giving his wife an allowance here, when he earns far more money than she does, and he is accused of buying his love just because there is an age difference. Is he expected to give his wife nothing and to let her starve and walk around in rags just because he is older and is trying to prove a point to people he doesn't really care about?     

[Colabamumbai]

Why would you pay money in advance for anything. Does that not set off warning bells? You sound impressed that he gave you his Facebook sign in. Suggest that he pay for your flight, return to your country of departure. Then you will see how much he loves you.  Have you ever lived in Thailand?