Am I normal?

[williet98248]

14 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

O you don't get me at all I still love my wife

I don't want to have sex with anybody 

Time and biology will cure you.  Take it a day at a time and try not to wallow in your grief.

[cyberfarang]

31 minutes ago, RedQualia said:

 

 

 

I thought I had a "prize catch" once. And then she left, leaving me as sad and mopey as OP appears to be. And after a few days or weeks, I realized that if she could do that, she was less of a prize than she should be. And that was that. She did ask me to take her back after a few months. I declined. Loved her for a long time after that, but no... I didn't need someone who might be there tomorrow, or might not. I didn't need someone who thought no more of me than that. So I threw her back. Let some other fisherman hook her and see if he can keep her in his boat. Absolutely the right decision.

It is said that somewhere in the world there are perfect partners and soul mates for everyone. But the trick is finding and making connections with them. I doubt that very few people ever find their perfect match that are compatible in every way. 

 

This is why I believe that people who believe they are madly in love should not rush into marriage, because although they may think, this is it, found the true love of my life, time should be given to really get to know each other. Don`t make commitments too soon, and if having doubts from the beginning of a relationship, call it off and have a rethink.

 

 

 

 

[hobobo]

14 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

No it is not what you think  I just in love with my mife 

Get over her ASAP. She is probably laughing at you with her new mate - try and do the same!

[alien365]

Check yourself in to a retreat, away from any distractions, to reset your mind.

[bazza40]

To think I wasted 5 minutes of my time reading this thread........

[Gforcejunkypkt]

OP seemed pretty despondent, sure has gone quiet though even after all the great advice offered by TV members, not even a thank you -- you don't think he.......??

[tancred]

Women can do this,because of ancient history their men got killed in battle,hunting,etc,now it's the money they want,and if they don't get it they take off.

[Jip99]

8 minutes ago, Gforcejunkypkt said:

OP seemed pretty despondent, sure has gone quiet though even after all the great advice offered by TV members, not even a thank you -- you don't think he.......??

 

8 minutes ago, Gforcejunkypkt said:

OP seemed pretty despondent, sure has gone quiet though even after all the great advice offered by TV members, not even a thank you -- you don't think he.......??

 

 

 

... he........ ??          Sobered up.......................... ?

[AlQaholic]

There is no such thing as Love, The sensation (emotional) usually attributed to love is just a manifestation of your Ego's wish to reinforce itself, such as "Look, I have a beautiful wife" and having someone that reinforces you Ego all the time by (in your mind) adoring you and "loving" you back.

Of course the other physical sensation of orgasm is also one factor in this spiel as are many other emotions that plays into the "Love" deception.

[Mansell]

The problem when you keep thinking of her in a positive way is you are reinforcing the pain you are experiencing. And as long as you keep doing that you will have the same result, pain. Until such time as you decide to change  your perspective nothing will change. When you decide to stop thinking she is gods answer, is when your healing will start. When I went through something similar I realized that the answers to my pain meant me reconfiguring my brain/thinking. How did I do this? Whenever I thought of her I would envision her with rats tails hanging out of her mouth, and feaces all over her body. Radical? Yes, but it worked. Within three months I met a woman who was better on all levels than the previous one. As long as you hold onto the memory of the ex-wife, there isn't any room for a new one to come in. Good luck.

[Nemesis7]

OP love hurts,you can still try to get her back if you can and think it's worth it or else my brother fact remains " life goes on "

[timewilltell]

My suggestion to you is to immerse yourself in a project that can absorb your attention. I do understand how your psychology is messed up with focus on what you are missing and hurting and maybe a feelinv of being cheated (not necessarily sexual cheating either).

 

You will know yourself best the nature of the project that woukd absorb you - maybs learning a language, learning some new (and difficult) skill, some physical or charity project maybe. Something you can set hourself goals for and enjoy struggling a bit. The idea being to divert your attention away from focussing on lost love because it is a problem that cannot resolve by thought since it involves a person who wants soneone else that you cannot change.

 

Divert yourself away and it will take you to different peopke and different places than yoyr regular habits and help put the negative to the back of your mind.

 

Best of luck.

[louse1953]

As long as she didn't take the dog who will love you regardless.

[giddyup]

2 minutes ago, transam said:

OP, I know exactly how you feel because it happened to me in the UK. If you think similar to me nobody can advise you on how to get rid of the feeling. For me it took a few years even after trying hard to get it out of my head.

I agree, all the advice in the world won't help cure a broken heart. It's like telling someone who's clinically depressed to go out and have some fun.

[louse1953]

15 hours ago, tifino said:

missus and I are staring at the start of this one!!!

 

as the OP is not alone in this problem

 

... she comes out with:

 

...our very good old friend Sam,

has a cousin called Sofer, who's married to a Thai.

She already had had a kid to a Thai man many years earlier (kid now 20 old)

 

She and Sofer, met, and married, and came Australia 10 years ago.

She has another little girl, who when 2, the mum up and dumps Sofer, for another man,

a customer, here in OZ on a temporary project, from Ireland or the likes as I recall,

tho' not to be too worried the little details...

 

She's off with the other man, and has another kid, altogether they are off on their new life for just under 2 years

 

He, suddenly has to go back home, and refused to keep contact, and she's left holding the baby...

 

Just a little while ago, Sofer is all smiles again...

... she's suddenly come back to him.

 

He's happy as he gets to be dad again to their kid together,

He's resigned himself to the fact he's not going to get his end off again with her,

so life goes on in a totally platonic sense.

 

Everybody knows he can't, and doesn't, trust her, but that has become a secondary thing...

 

She's come crying back to Mr Money, as he can and will support them all.

 

He's now over 70, and she's over 40 now

 

He can't, and won't have sex with her, but at the same time, he doesn't want it from anybody else too.

 

He has actually adopted the child of his wife's ex-customer, 

and he's over the Moon, to have a little bit of life back,

and to live the most for now... or how little time he has left...

 

amazing - he meets his to-be-wife in bar

His then-wife meets customer in bar,

and she leaves hubby and has another kid a year later.

Husband gets his wife back, and kid(s) when she is dumped.

No sex, and happy

 

 

And after a couple of years,she is fully titled defacto and gets a healthy claim on his effects via will.So blokes are just dumb.

[F4UCorsair]

16 hours ago, happy Joe said:

Welcome to the club, friend  

And issou're HAPPY happy Joe!

 

Ya dog dies, get a puppy the next day, and the grieving process Is somuch easier.

 

Can't edit above.  Should be 'you're'.

Edited September 1, 2016 by F4UCorsair

[giddyup]

3 minutes ago, F4UCorsair said:

And issou're HAPPY happy Joe!

 

Ya dog dies, get a puppy the next day, and the grieving process Is somuch easier.

Total rubbish! That was the advice I was given after my loyal dog of 15 years died. You can't substitute a dog any more than you can substitute a person. We aren't talking about buying a new pair of shoes.

 

Edited September 1, 2016 by giddyup

[Peter Pattaya]

Celebrate your freedom Now!

My girl walked out on me and it was such a moment of joy! She was hard work and I felt imprisoned. Meet a new one great easy going and still feel free. (For now ) 

[blackcab]

The OP sounds like he has Stockholm Syndrome to me.

 

You know, when someone who has been held hostage ends up feeling affection for their captor.

Edited September 1, 2016 by blackcab

[F4UCorsair]

8 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

And after a couple of years,she is fully titled defacto and gets a healthy claim on his effects via will.So blokes are just dumb.

Sounds like Sofer Is a sucker.

[louse1953]

12 hours ago, rogeroc said:

 

 

Who has every suggested your wife is a slut? What is the relevence of your wife's education and mastery of languages to this thread and how is that information the slightest help to the OP. 

And this highly educated women is married to Dipstick!!!

[tifino]

22 minutes ago, louse1953 said:

And after a couple of years,she is fully titled defacto and gets a healthy claim on his effects via will.So blokes are just dumb.

 

No, they are, and have always remained Married, even all through the split, the extra kid, the ....

 

He is even more softer than he is dumb

 

and he really IS called Sofer

 

 

It is the FIFO Irishman that got off $cot-free, at a 'virtual' cost,

that his departed X-Y genes are permanently severed from giving him future knowledge of immortality with his bloodline. 

 

But that is the basis of the deal - FIFO has no contact with his offspring kid,

and the Wife promises she'll never try to contact or try to involve the FIFO, in the kid's life...

 

 

so far Sofer has landed softly in all this, and his smiles seem genuine

 

[cyberfarang]

I was emotionally abused as a child, went through 37 failed relationships as an adult, ended up hating everybody including my faithful old dog shep, that turned out to be a bitch and bit me on the ankle one day when I was off guard, knowing the whole world was against me and now living under the persecution of the Thais.

 

This is why I join TV so as I can interact with my peers, with others that can relate and understand me.

[tifino]

2 minutes ago, cyberfarang said:

I was emotionally abused as a child, went through 37 failed relationships as an adult, ended up hating everybody including my faithful old dog shep, that turned out to be a bitch and bit me on the ankle one day when I was off guard, knowing the whole world was against me and now living under the persecution of the Thais.

 

This is why I join TV so as I can interact with my peers, with others that can relate and understand me.

 

...or the Alternative:

 

life sucks,

and then you die

 

[geriatrickid]

This why  the courts  grant Restraining Orders.

[JJGreen]

This why  the courts  grant Restraining Orders.

Behind every stalker is a man or woman professing love

[SteveSamui6262]

If she left because you ran out of cash, then you should realize it was ONLY ABOUT THE MONEY.  if so, just chalk it up to a lesson learned and cut your losses.  Swiftly move away from what was an apparent toxic relationship.  Life goes on.

[Khon Kaen Dave]

Hi Mate.

Firstly let me say i have the deepest of sympathy for you.To have someone leave you,who you love and believed loved you is the worse type pf pain.Its a despairing,lost,kind of feeling that you dont want but you cant get rid of.If it was a headache or a stomach ache you can get a pill for it,but this ache is in your heart and,sadly,there is no pill for that.I will not even attempt to ask the reasons why,that's your private business and no one should be so crass as to ask such a personal question.

Havinf sex with another,as one op said,is all very well but at the end,it leaves a shallow,dirty feeling.You wont be getting revenge and you will probably resent the girl because she is not her.

I know its an old adage ,but time is the best healer.If you have already contacted her and there is no possible way that she will comeback,you will have to come to terms with it.You will go to  a very dark place,where you will imagine that she is happy without you and is having sex with all and sundry,or a boyfriend.This will tear your insides out.Its a panic feeling and will hit you many times.People say,"get out more,find new friends,join a gym(ive never figured that one out)start going to bars,Hey,we'll have to go out one night." If you have close friends who are married or in relationships,you may find them trying to distance themselves from you.You will be no company for them because all your conversation will be about her.And some people dont want that around them,in case it happens to them  sit.Dont sit alone ,mulling over,how much you did for her,what you brought her,or the tings you did for her.

After you have been through the fire,your feelings will turn to resentment,you will be angry at her for making you feel so bereft and alone.You will get fed up with feeling like this and gradually things will begin to change.This is the most dangerous time.Resist calling her,or contacting her through other parties,this will bring you back down. Of course you will see her where ever you go.This is why you must not revisit old places that you went with her.

I dont know your age difference,but that can be a factor in a split.If she was a vampire,then you have brought her lots of material things,but dont think of yourself as a fool,because this is what men in love do.Dont regret it.Dont move away,this is your home and no matter how much it hurts,do not let her drive you away.Dont even think about doing anything stupid!That serves no purpose and she,being Thai may find it big face to tell her friends that you killed your self over her. You must find just one friend who will listen to you and put up with you.That friendship will last forever.

Now the part that really hurts.

There is a chance that you may see her!!!

If she is with friends and looks like she is having a good time,that will feel like a kick in the kishka's.If she sees you,just give a hand high hello,and ignore her,go back talking to you friend(this is a good time to have a girl with you) Do not turn round again.

If you see her with another guy,do not get angry,show complete indifference,that will make her  wonder if you have got over her so quickly.

And lastly,dont read too much into some of the callous remarks made to you on here.They are made to make you feel worse by some twisted,bitter people,who have nothing to do except try to F##K with peoples minds.Thats why they have no friends and cant maintain relationships with men or women.And also are probably very inadequate when it comes to sex.

Well,my friend, i hope that you get through this.There are many on here that have gone through the same thing.The funny thing is that its the same feeling for all,when it happens.

Good luck.

[1FinickyOne]

Sorry for your pain - there is always an element of wanting someone more if we cannot have them... so, pride is at stake too. I would say it is pretty normal, especially for younger people. You feel you will never have someone so lovely again. Truth is, if the person does not want you, it is not nearly as lovely as being with someone who wants to be with you... 

 

As they say, this too will pass. 

[lvr181]

18 hours ago, White Christmas13 said:

No it is not what you think  I just in love with my mife 

 Yeah yeah, we read you but you have to move on, otherwise you just going to wallow (and possibly perish) in your own self pity. Thai wife leaving is entirely normal. Your "poor me" attitude should not be. Harsh as it may sound, get over it, move on and enjoy hopefully, a better life.